Izuku's POV

"I'm so tired. I'm tired of being tired, you know? Everything has been -- really crazy for so long, and I'm finally at a place in my life where I feel that I'm actually living." Katsuki sat across from me in the living room and this reminded me so much of the conversation we had many months ago. "A lot has happened -- to the both of us, and I know that you must have questions. I am prepared to answer anything you want to know. I think you deserve that from me," He did. Katsuki deserved the truth and so did I.

Taking a stabilizing breath, I crossed my ankles and looked at my mate. He sat in a chair, hair slightly mussed from sleep and lack of hair products. His face held no expression -- he just sat there and listened.

"I want to clear the air between us. I don't want to live the rest of my life not really understanding what went wrong here. It hurt -- a lot." I could feel the crease between my brows and Katsuki's lip twitched as if he wanted to speak. But he didn't, so I continued.

"It still hurts sometimes when I think about you. These past few months, they have been the most challenging days of my life. I thought for sure that this time -- this time being away from you -- that maybe it would kill me. But for some reason, I survived and I'm better now."

Katsuki tilted his head to the side only a fraction, but I caught the movement. It was endearing and I could practically see the gears turning in his head and the question forming on his tongue. I quickly explained, knowing what he must be thinking.

"Well, better is a broad statement. I am not sick and in pain every day, so I would say that would qualify as better." I added, still waiting for the Alpha to speak up. He seemed to be waiting for me to continue, face blank and serious as ever. Slightly narrowed eyes and pursed lips reminded me that this was still Katsuki. Even if he was a bit -- different now. 

I swallowed around the lump in my throat and continued. "However, I don't think I can leave things the way they are between us. I think it would be best if we cleared the air and then end this for us both. I want to break our bond, formally, so we can move on and start fresh. I don't want to leave any lingering animosity between us. But," I swallowed and shifted in my seat, waiting for his reaction. "But, I want it done sooner rather than later. I am healthy now and not at risk like -- like last time. I want to end this. Today if possible," I sucked in a deep breath and let my eyes close, prepared for the snap. It never came.

"I think we should talk as well," Katsuki spoke, calm. I opened my eyes, searching his face for answered that I needed but was too shocked to ask. He shifted in his seat as well and frowned a bit in concentration. "Where do you want to begin?" He asked and lifted his head to look me in the eye.

Where did I want to begin? I hadn't planned for this conversation to begin so smoothly and without protest. Katsuki was different, and I wasn't sure if I liked this seemingly new and improved version of the hot-headed brat I watched grow up.

"I guess from the beginning. That's always a good place," I said lightly, a small smile tugging at my lips when I realized he wasn't going to lose his temper. I watched as the corners of his lips turned down and his brows furrowed. He shifted a bit again, letting his leg bounce while he thought.

"Why did you leave that night?" He finally asked and I bit down on my bottom lip with a sigh. "When your heat hit you -- you clung to me, begged to stay with me. You let me --" He struggled for words, reminding me so much of his younger self that I smiled a bit.

"I know, but I wasn't in my right mind, honestly," Katsuki tensed a bit at this, his lips pressing thin.

"Are you saying that I took advantage of you or some shit?" My eyes widened but I shook my head quickly.

"No, no! Not at all. If anything, it was the other way around," I whispered and he cocked his head while clicking his tongue.

"How the hell did you take advantage of me?" He scoffed, his usual snarky attitude shining through some. I kept quiet, not sure how to bring up this. Not sure if he really wanted to know. I thought about it a lot, the fact that I slept with him -- knowing that I would be leaving just hours later.

"I guess I should just suck it up and spill. You can't possibly hate me more than you have before," I scoffed and shook my head.

"I took advantage of you, yes. That night, my heat was clearing up. I could think about my actions and I could have chosen not to -- let that happen. I could have just left, but I was sick and selfish. I thought that if I slept with you that once, that you'd have a part of me forever. I had planned to leave, yes. I wanted to leave. I couldn't take the pain any longer. But there you were, in my nest and holding me -- I wanted you and I wanted you to have me," I swallowed thickly.

"Then I left while you were sleeping. So, yes -- I took advantage of you, Katsuki, and I'm so sorry." I murmured. It was quite for a few moments and I peeked at him, my curiosity getting the best of me.

His eyes were narrowed and gaze locked to the floor. His foot tapped while his bottom lip lay trapped between his teeth. He sighed and rolled his shoulders before looking up at me.

"You know, I was actually starting to kinda like you. It might have been the damn mate pull or whatever, but I liked you. It was taking me some time, and you promised me time. I had a month to figure it out but you left before I had the chance to tell you," He looked me in the eyes and I frowned.

"You liked me?" I asked, stupidly. That had caught me off guard. How could he have liked me when he was with another man just nights before?

"Yeah, is that so hard to believe?" He quipped and I huffed.

"Well, yeah," I drawled and he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Okay, why? Why wouldn't I like you? One, you're my mate, my other half. There has to be something about you that I would like."

"You couldn't have liked me when you already had someone else," I stopped him and he looked at me with wide eyes before groaning and shaking his head.

"Seriously? I -- Ugh, damn Izuku. I didn't have anyone else. I was never with Denki. If you want specifics, I kissed him once in high school -- made out with him actually. But that was it. I never wanted to be with anyone else. I always wanted my mate, idiot," He huffed in frustration while my lips formed a small circle of shock.

"Oh," I whispered and he rolled his eyes.

"Damn, we really have fucked up, heh?" He scoffed and I nodded slowly.

"So -- that night you were at his house -- when you k - kissed me?" I started and Katsuki looked at me, sitting up straight in his seat.

"Is that what you thought, nerd? That I was out screwing someone else while working on things between us?" He looked bored with a slight tick in his jaw that reminded me how much he seemed to be holding back. I shrugged.

"At the time, yeah. I did think that. I know now that I wasn't in my right mind back then. I -- well, I have been to see some doctors while I was in Canada. They helped me get better, gave me some Omega vitamins to help stabilize my mood. Shoto helped too," I trailed off, catching myself mumbling nervously.

"It was because you were separated from me for those four years, wasn't it? That's why you were sick," He stated and I let my gaze linger on his face for a few moments longer.

"Part of it," I muttered and let a heavy sigh pass my lips. The Alpha quirked a brow in confusion. "I -- I was taking heat suppressants the whole time and it kinda messed with me in more than a few ways," I said stiffly. The topic was still a fresh wound and my heart squeezed.

"Damn," Katsuki sighed and I pulled my brows together. "I guess my old hag was right," He extended before seeing my expression and explaining. "Well, she's an Omega so she kinda fuckin' picked up on somethings when you were at the house. I noticed something off too and asked her some shit," He crossed his arms and leaned into the chair, his cheeks took a slight tint of pink. I focused and blinked to make sure I was seeing clearly.

"Didn't you know about Omegas already though? You're an Alpha. I mean, it is kind of customary that Alphas are educated about that sub-gender," I questioned him and he scoffed with a bitter smirk.

"Well, you could say that my parents didn't want me knowing much about Omegas after a certain incident," His voice was laced with venom but it wasn't aimed at me. However, I still swallowed around the sudden lump in my throat and went quiet.

I hated thinking about that and hadn't in such a long time. It had actually slipped to the back of my mind for some time. There were more pressing issues than something that happened almost five years ago.

"Shit," He huffed under his breath and stood up, making his way over to the sofa and dropping down next to me. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad," He didn't touch me although his fingers twitched as if holding back from reaching for me. I was quite still but shifted slightly, gravitating to his presence beside me.

There was something else on my mind, a flash of a memory that I had worried about over the past six months. Every now and then this memory would come crashing down on me and for some reason, it bothered me.

"How are your packmates?" Katsuki's head jerked up and I looked over, making eye-contact with him as he pressed his lips together and furrowed his brows.

"To clarify, they aren't technically packmates yet. They are just close friends. I haven't marked them as pack, only scented them," I frowned. Why hadn't he marked them yet? "They're fine I guess," He nodded to himself but his eyes darted to the side and that told me he was hiding something.

"And Denki?" I asked quietly. I remembered him finding his mate that day. Shinso was cold towards the boy but I had expected that. Shinso was dedicated to those he cares about and was loyal among other things. The Alpha was a control freak and Denki seemed to test all the things he stood for. I didn't expect him to run to the Omega considering the situation but after experiencing what it felt to be without a mate after forming the bond -- I never wanted that to happen to him. 

"He's fine now," Katsuki said briefly but there was some underlying thing there that I could tell he didn't want to get into. I nodded slowly and the room went silent again for a few minutes until Katsuki groaned under his breath and scrubbed his hands over his face, drawing my attention over to him.

"Shoto -- Are you two together or some shit?" He questioned with crossed brows and thin lips. I blinked at him before my lips pulled up at the corners. A light giggle bubbled up at his flustered expression. Was that jealousy? He shot me a glare but that only caused more laughter. I placed a hand over my mouth to muffle the sound while my shoulders shook lightly.

"No -- God no, Shoto is just my friend," I explained and chuckled a bit.

"You two fucked," He stated and I chocked while widening my eyes.

"What?" I croaked in shock before remembering that he would have known from our bond and then Shoto's scent lingered on my skin and in my pheromones. "Oh," I cleared my throat and sat up straight.

"Yeah -- Oh," He drawled with narrowed eyes. I frowned and pinched the fabric of my jeans at my knees, nervous.

"We did h - have sex a few times when my heat hit. I wouldn't just s - sleep with someone if I didn't have to. I mean! I slept with you -- and I didn't need to I guess. But t - that was different. I was going into heat and because I was coming off the heat suppressants it was hitting randomly! We t - talked about it when I got there so I could get better. It didn't mean anything like t -that! I don't just have sex without emotion -- Ah -- I mean, with you it was different. We're mates and -- umm -- Just know I didn't want him like that. I even asked him not to k - knot me because I didn't really want any other Alpha's knot. But -- It happened and I really didn't want it. It felt wrong. It wasn't Katsuki and -- and I didn't like the way it -- mmph!"

"Deku," His hand clamped down over my mouth. He growled lowly and my eyes widened at him. His face was scrunched up while his eyes squeezed shut. I could hear his heart thumping irregularly behind his ribs. "I fuckin' know, Deku. I know," I swallowed behind his hand and shuddered, listening to the thrumming of his heart.

He eventually slipped his hand away from my mouth and I licked my lips nervously. "Yeah," I accepted, knowing that he knew. He had to of known and that twisted my stomach. I looked away from him. 

We weren't together when it happened, so I didn't need to feel this bad over doing what I had to do to survive.

"Don't do that," Katsuki snapped and I looked up quickly at him.

"Huh?" I mumbled and he frowned.

"You were blaming yourself. You got that sour scent on you and that dumb wrinkle on your forehead," He smirked. "You don't need to blame yourself for that, idiot. It fuckin' sucked feeling my mate getting screwed by some other man but I know what you were going through now. It -- It kind of put things into perspective for me. I started to educate myself more about Omegas so I could understand you and not be so angry. I shouldn't have been angry when you were suffering."

I blinked in shock at his confession. He -- He tried to understand me? My heart squeezed and warmth spread through my veins. 

"I was tired of being in the dark and not understanding, Izuku. I still don't understand everything, but I'm not mad at you for some shit. You were doing what you had to so you could get better. That's what I wanted," He shrugged but I felt warm. My body fought off a shiver that his words were bringing to me. He tried, and that had my breath hitching in my throat.

"I just wanted to say how sorry I am for being such an ass to you. I was angry and confused about so much at the time. I was being torn in so many directions. I felt that damn mate pull that sucked me to you regardless of the anger and pain I held onto. I wasn't ready to let it go. I wasn't ready to let go of how much pain I held onto from all those years ago. It was stupid, and I hurt you more by doing so. I hurt you when you needed me the most -- and it sucked because you had tried so hard while dealing with being sick and imbalanced. I was too shut off to really see what you were going through, and I'm sorry for that. I told myself that I would let you be so you could heal, but I also tried to take care of myself as well. I started writing when I got upset, I asked questions and cleared up some of my confusion. I even applied for a University that I wanted to go to -- I got accepted. I wanted to better myself so when -- if -- you came back you would see that I was taking this seriously now. I want to take you seriously now."

I swallowed thickly and curled my hands into fists to stop their shaking. He was looking at me so seriously that I swore I could feel him everywhere. It was warm and heavy, the feeling swarming through the room. I hated the way my body shook from his words alone. It wasn't fair how I responded to him. I was touched by his words and my skin tingled at his proximity. This was dangerous. I didn't expect this.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I whispered breathlessly and shifted to move away from his overwhelming presence.

"I beg to differ. We are mates, Izuku. We are fucking made for one another. Sure, we had a shitty start to our story but I think you're lying to yourself." He cocked his head to the side and I shot him a glare. My lips pressed tight together.

"How am I lying to myself, Ka - Bakugou? I think I know myself pretty well," I huffed and he smirked causing my heart to stutter.

"That's how I know. Your heart jumps when I'm around. I make you nervous. You are afraid to even say my name, Izuku. Afraid it will taste too good spilling from your lips." He moved closer and I shifted, scooting away as he slid over.

"No," I argued but he chuckled at the weak tone of my voice.

"Yes, I am right. But, you're also scared of getting hurt again. We started things all wrong. We both had too much damage and when we were together it was explosive. I told myself that if you were happy without me that I would let you go. If you want to break out bond then look me in the fuckin' eye and tell me you are happy, truly happy and better that you could be with me. The real me. The better version of me," He stopped his approach when my back his the arm of the sofa and I had nowhere to run other than out of the living room.

He looked me in the eyes, half crawling on the sofa to box me in while I watched him with wide eyes.

Was I happy? Yes. Yes, I was. I was happy for once in my life and my life did not involve Katsuki. I was fine now.

Fine.

Was I fine or happy? My thoughts swirled and I lifted a trembling hand and dropped it on his chest to push him back.

"Stop," I whispered and shook my head. He was confusing me. I didn't need him to be happy but it sure felt good having him by my side. Was this the mate pull or a sign that we could be compatible?

"Answer the question," He replied and I swallowed around the lump in my throat.

"Goddamnit, Katsuki," I choked and squeezed my eyes shut. I was happy - finally after so long of being miserable. Then he shows up and turns everything upside-down again. The Alpha was like a hurricane in my life. Dangerous. Powerful. Natural.

He was exciting, but not stable. At least the version of him I once knew wasn't. However, he seemed different now and his heated stare made my knees weak. I needed to think rationally.

Parts of me begged to surge forward and crash my lips to his while another part screamed at me, telling me to leave before I get hurt again.

"Are you happy, Izuku?" Katsuki murmured and narrowed his eyes. His breath fanning my face and causing my back to press harder into the arm of the sofa.

"I'm --" I croaked and turned my head away.

"Look at me and say it. Tell me you're happy without me and I will accept the breaking of our bond. I swear it," Katsuki pledged and I slowly turned my head back to face him.

My throat went dry as his crimson spheres bore holes into my skull. He was so close and my heart thrummed rapidly behind my ribs. I wet my lips and his gave dropped to my lips before his lip curled in the softest of growls.

"Izuku," He coaxed and I trembled. I was happy. Shoto made me happy. Mina made me happy. Shinso made me happy. But this was different than what he had asked me. If I was happy then he would let me go. I had the option to be free, safe, and independent. If I was happy then he would let me go. I smiled.

"I am happy."