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"He drank in his misery like fine wine, savoring every drop, letting it soothe his mind, his tension flowing out the fingertips that held the paddle."
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(Angst)

(Guns)

(Fear)

The more he thought about it, the more he found himself nervously chewing his lip with his palms rubbing along his pant legs.

Kirishima knew that Bakugou understood what he wanted when he spoke with him outside of his workplace last night.

Something about how the blond turned toward him while his voice dropped into a serious tone, forced the most amazing chill through his body to react.

However, his confidence that he had in the parking lot has since vanished as he rummages through his closet to find a shirt to wear.

Bakugou had sent him a text message that morning with his address as well as directions to arrive at noon. It's only 10am so he isn't worried about being on time, he had been awake since 7 that morning, his nerves making it impossible to sleep in like usual.

Denki had been texting him last night, giving him words of encouragement as if it was some type of job interview.

Deep down he knew that Bakugou would not reject his request, from how well the ash-blond reacted last night when he asked for more information on BDSM, he knew that Bakugou would teach him what he needed to know and even do his submissive training if he asked.

He had called Denki last night as well to ask about submissive training and what it consisted of.

From what his roommate told him, it's a bunch of positions the submissive needs to learn. Things like kneeling and standing positions the submissive needs to know as well as basic rules are gone over as well as talk about limits.

Basic things that the dom/sub pair need to discuss for training to go smoothly for both parties as well as having the maximum effect.

The goal is for the submissive to learn as much as they can while the dom learns more about the sub and learns their body, needs, and limits.

Denki was insistent on the fact that he doesn't google search things about BDSM as most internet sites give false information that can scare people or give them unhealthy ideas on the lifestyle.

It was tempting to do some research on his own to make the talk go smoother with Bakugou, but he decided against it as Denki suggested.

All morning he has been thinking about how this will go, but he also knows that it's just Bakugou. He might feel on edge around the ash blond, but he isn't scared of him.

A wave of anxiety seems to dwell in his chest when around Bakugou, but there is nothing unpleasant about this type of anxiety.

The drive to Bakugou's house took about 20 minutes, and when he pulled up to the security gate, the guard buzzed him in after he showed his ID.

Of course, he would have security at his home, hell, he probably had personal security inside.

That would be impressive.Pulling up to the garage, the large doors opened revealing an empty spot for his car, right next to the black Tesla that instantly made him break out in a huge grin.

He can't stop thinking how amazing his house is so far, and he has only seen the outside.Stepping out the car he notices that an elderly lady is standing at the door smiling politely.

"Ah, you must be Mr. Kirishima. You're right on time, Mr. Bakugou is inside in his office, come follow me."

Her salt and pepper hair is pulled neatly in a bun on the back of her head, a gentle smile on her face as she turns around to head inside.

Kirishima quickly follows after her trying to even out his breathing and calm his nerves, only to be distracted by the beautiful interior of the house.

The pale grey walls flow smoothly into a large open kitchen with granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. Everything looks straight out of a magazine, clean, and untouched by human life.

Who knew Bakugou was so organized? His school life always looks quite chaotic and dysfunctional even though Kat was a top student.

"Right this way, sir. Mr. Bakugou instructed us to take you to his office."

A male who looks in his mid 30's walked up to him before reaching out and grabbing his arm and patting down his arms and sides. The initial contact sends fire along his skin as he jerks away from the touch.

"Please, don't touch me!"

Stepping away he quickly clutches his arms around his midsection protective as he tries to steady his breathing. It's fine, it's just one of Katsuki's staff members. The man looks startled before his face evens out and he steps forward again.

"Sir, we need to check you for any dangerous objects before letting you any further near Mr. Bakugou."

Stepping backward and away from his advances, he notices how the man's hand instinctively reaches back and around towards a black pouch where he knew all too well what was located inside the holster.

_____________

"You see this gun, boy?"

The man who'd backed him in a corner had a silver gun waving in his right hand as he pulled back a lever making a loud click snap the silent atmosphere.

The man pointed the gun over towards his mother who was passed out on the kitchen floor.

These men had broken in only to beat his mother up over drug money that she couldn't pay for. She was in debt already and Kirishima knew to stay out of it.

Once she had passed out from the beating as well as the drugs that were still in her system, the men focused their attack on him, and now pinned against the wall he had nowhere to run.

"If you don't do exactly what I say your mother's brains will be on the floor!"

The tears falling from his eyes blurred his vision, but the shiny metal waving towards his mother glistened in the dimly lit room.

"Now, take your clothes off."

The man ordered while tapping on the barrel of the gun.

So he did.

________________

"Please! Leave me alone!"

Shouting as he is pressed back into the wall, the man is approaching cautiously and with confused eyes. The burning on his skin only reminds him of the filthy animal that ruined his body, bringing back memories of every blurry faced person that ever violated him and caused him pain.

He doesn't worry too much about how the man looks at him as he quickly screws his eyes shut and sinks to the floor, wrapping his arms protectively around his knees and keeping them close to his chest and away from prying hands.

"Sir, please calm down. I just need to search you before you go upstairs..."

The words fall on deaf ears as the blood pounded in his ears. His heart slamming behind his ribs made his hands shake as they gripped his legs tightly against his body. What a familiar position for him, one he has taken many time to shield his sensitive body parts from the kicks and groping.

Peeking up, he notices the man's hand is still on the holster for the gun making his body shake with panicked tremors.
He vaguely hears the sound of feet and a woman's voice calling through the house but his mind is racing.

He is in a new place, alone with some strange man holding a gun. He didn't even tell Denki his location as he planned!

If anything happened to him, no one would know.

The thought makes him quiver and hold his sweaty palms out towards the man. He needs space and for this man to go away right now, his breathing already gone shallow as tears bite his cheeks.

"Leave me alone! Please, I'll do w-whatever you w-want me to... w-whatever you want, I won't fight... I'll be a g-good boy!"

His words fly out in desperation, knowing damn well he won't fight with a gun around. Those men beat the fight out of him years ago. He could handle being smacked around but when they pulled the gun out, it sent him wild. They liked how he screamed and cried, they loved the fear they inflicted on him.

He wouldn't fight them off and he learned to be a very good boy for them, no more biting or scratching. Just lie there and take it like a good boy.

"What the fuck is going on down here?! Stand down, Aki!" The voice booms through and echos in the large kitchen making him flinch and gasp as a low whimper leaves his body.

His hands stay presented out in front of his body, shaking, as he chokes back his tears against his knees.

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

"Shit, Eijiro!" He jumps back, banging his head against the wall as he flinches away from the person who squats down in front of him. Shaking his head, his eyes never open.

His fear of spilling tears and earning a beating overwhelms him, he doesn't notice who has come to his rescue.

"Open your eyes, Ei." The voice is low in his ear making him flinch and jerk away, hitting his head on the wall again in an attempt to get away from the people closing in on him.

"What the hell did you do to him, Aki!? Give me one good reason not to fire your ass right now?!"

The voice closest to him growls making him shake harder and cower, wrapping his outstretched arms back around his knees.

"Sir, I went to search him and when I touched him he freaked out. I thought he might have been hiding something on his person from his reaction. Your safety is my first priority, I had no idea he would react this way."

Kirishima coughs as his breathing has become so erratic and shallow, the man closest to him grabs him and pulls him against his body tightly.

The rough treatment has him crying out and thrashing in his hold.

"No please! No! Don't hurt me!" Pleading desperately he squeezes his eyes shut and feels the man drag his feet along the floor as he is pulled off somewhere, probably somewhere to finish the job with no distractions.

"Shit, calm down, Ei! I am not going to hurt you!"

Lies.

They are all liars, they only want to hurt him.

They have come back to finish the job, he ran away from home and they wanted another payment. They found him again.

"Let go! Let go! Let go!" Thrashing and screaming, he can feel his breathing pick up yet it feels as if he doesn't have enough oxygen in his lungs.

"Come on, I've got you. Relax." Something is tight on his neck, his breathing is rough, labored, and shallow as his body begins to relax from lack of proper oxygen. It hurts, the burn in his throat, yet his body sags and relaxes.

Tears prick in his eyes again and slowly he begins cracking his eyes open, mouth agape and trying to suck in air.

"That's it, open your eyes, Ei." Blinking his heavy eyelids the tightness in his throat vanishes as he is finally able to suck in sharply a much needed deep breath, filling his lungs and making him relax further.

Had someone been choking him? Reaching up to his throat he coughs and gasps for air as his body seems to reboot itself.

Blond hair is the first thing he notices before his eyes adjust and worried red eyes stare at him. How did Bakugou get here? Has he been here the whole time?

Coughing again from his dry throat he blinks a few tears that managed to escape out of his eyes.

A soft hand brushes his cheeks and under his eyes and he stares into Bakugou's eyes, his body still shaking and sweating. The worried look in his friend's eyes has him wanting to cry all over again.

It has been so long since his last panic attack, he had been doing so well, and he had to get fucking triggered inside of Bakugou's home.

Gasping again, he realizes he wasn't breathing again and he tries to sit up after remembering where he is. He's at Bakugou's house.

He had a panic attack in front of Kat. With worried eyes he looks around to try and ground himself, needing to know where he is at.

"W-Where are we, Kat?" Whimpering he sits up fully on a... bed? Why is he in a bed? Looking down with panic filling his eyes he notices his clothes are still on and sighs heavily. Thank God.

Looking around more, the room is neatly put together. White walls with windows draped in pale grey curtains. Matching grey bedding and pillows adorn the king-size mattress he and Bakugou are now sitting on.

"My room, you're safe, Ei. You should lie back and relax, do you need someone to take you home?" Panic fills his eyes as he fills with guilt, the only thing questioning in his mind is if Bakugou wants him to leave. He must want him to after he freaked out like that.

"Ei, calm down. I am not kicking you out, I would actually feel better if you were here so I can look after you."

Nodding slowly he mentally kicks himself at how pathetic he must be acting. Why isn't he asking him to leave? He just had a panic attack and freaked out like an idiot as soon as he arrived.

"I'm s-sorry, Kat..." Whimpering from his guilt, Bakugou shushes him gently and slowly reaches out to his arms.

He doesn't flinch or move away when the ash-blond takes hold of his arms and gently lies him back onto the mattress before grabbing a folded up blanket from the foot of the bed and draping it over his body.

Watching as Bakugou sits on the edge of the bed, he lies still, unsure what is going through Bakugou's head.

"I'm really sorry, Kat... You must think I am pathetic..." Closing his eyes he tenses under the blanket, there is no way this will end well.

Today was supposed to be about healing, Bakugou was going to be able to help him. Now, there is no way the blond will want to work with him, he is too fucked up.

"Jesus Christ, Eijiro... You're apologizing for having a panic attack over what my personal security did to you? Fuck... You're not pathetic, I don't ever want to hear that again! Understand me, Kiri?!"

Tensing up his whole body trembles again at Bakugou's tone with him, for once the fear goes away and he isn't scared, only upset that he had said something that Bakugou had not liked.

"Y-Yes, sir..." He whimpers before curling up and feeling his body become heavy with the need to sleep.

"Kat... mm'tired..." A hand falls lightly in his hair as another rests on his arm, gently stroking his skin and hair as sleep begins to take over, his body needs to recover from the intense amount of stress he had experienced in one day.

"Shh, it's okay. Get some sleep, I will be right here, Ei." Smiling softly at his friend's words he sighs.

"Promise?"

There is a slight shifting on the bed and the feeling of the hands on his body disappears momentarily before coming back, this time one hand lands in his hair and another draping over his waist.

"I promise, Ei. I've got you, always."

As he watches Kirishima quickly fall asleep, his mind begins to trail off deep in thought.

His suspicions about the redhead were falling into place as he began to understand that something was really going on with his friend.

When he had begun hyperventilating, the only thing he knew to do was cut off his air supply for a few about 10 seconds until his body relaxed. He knew it would force him to relax and then kickstart a more normal breathing pattern.

It had worked and when Kirishima was finally opening his eyes he knew that the redhead would be able to see that he was with someone safe.

The night before, Kirishima had confessed that he trusts him, meaning that he just needed to get him to focus on him and ground him.

He had never delt with someone having a panic attack like this before, but he had known that Kirishima had anxiety in high school. He would have anxiety attacks over things but it never escalated to this.

This had scared him, it was like Kirishima was somewhere else, reliving something that terrified him.

Now, with his one hand tangled in the long red locks of hair while his other arm is hung loosely over Kirishima's thin waist, he can't help but press himself closer to his body.

His body had stopped trembling and was now lax and asleep in his bed.

He hadn't meant to get upset with him earlier, but when he asked such a ridiculous question it had startled him and angered him above all.

How could Kirishima thing he was pathetic over something he could not control, it was all fucking Aki's fault anyway?

He will be having a long fucking talk about this with him later, Aki will never touch Kirishima again without his permission. It obviously triggered him.

When he started scolding him and demanding that he never call himself that again, Kirishima had begun trembling again and he barely heard his soft voice whisper "yes sir" before going limp again with exhaustion.

A light tapping on his door had him growling under his breath, looking over to where Kirishima is, he carefully gets out of bed not to wake him up and walks over to his door.

"Quick and quiet, he is asleep." Narrowing his eyes at a very guilty looking Aki, he watches as he holds up a tablet where the security cameras are pulled up on the one focused on the kitchen.

"Sir, I was watching the cameras to see if I noticed anything that set the boy off and I think you might need to see something considering what you discussed with the staff the other night."

Waiting he nods and looks over his shoulder seeing that Kirishima is still sleeping soundly.

He had told staff that Kirishima was a prospective submissive he might have over soon and that it was okay to let him know that they knew about his lifestyle, after all, they witness when he has submissives over and have all signed an NDA.

"What would that be?" Looking as Aki rewinds the footage and replays the moments where he had approached Kirishima in the kitchen, he growls and tenses at the way Aki grabs him but he keeps quiet, knowing that he was only doing his job.

What surprises him is when Aki pauses it and rewinds it again and points to a specific thing that he missed.

Aki had reached for his gun and when Kirishima zoned in on his hand, he dropped to the floor.

"Jesus.... fuck... Thank you for showing me this. You're dismissed." Watching as Aki nods and quickly leaves, he turns back to his bed and walks over to the side where the redhead is sleeping and gently brushes his fingers over his cheek as he sighs.

"What the fuck happened to you, Eiji?"