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"Fear, anxiety, arousal, and pain; all are emotions and sensations. They are neither right, nor are they wrong; good nor bad. They are simply passions, a most important part of life. Feel them, fully experience them, surrender to them, and learn to accept them. As a submissive, you must let go."

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(Embarrassment)

Waking up the next day, Kirishima barely got out of bed before memories of last night began flooding back into his mind. A fierce blush flooded his skin and he jerked upright in his bed. He rubbed his hands over his face quickly. Yanking the covers up to his chin, he sat against the headboard and pulled his knees up to his chest. Kirishima scrunched his face up at the memories rushing back to him.

He had been sitting in the car with Bakugou, methodically fiddling with his fingers after he gave the blond his address. The drive home had been silent and it began to sink in just how awkward of a night it had been. After his adrenaline high began wearing off from the night's activities, he felt an intense wave of nausea wash over him making him shut his mouth and close his eyes tightly.

He tried to go over the things in his head in order to help him understand that last night actually happened. However, it only made him feel worse. He had just spent his whole night in kink a club with Denki for the first time. He saw things that should have made him uncomfortable considering his rough past but, in the end, he had never felt safer than he did in that environment.

He had a sneaking suspicion that Denki knew this type of thing would have been good for him. Denki gave him confidence. He knew that his friend would never take him somewhere he would be hurt. Or maybe it was the fact that he had rules to follow, and that made him feel comfortable? He had a list of things to abide by and it gave him some comfort and a confidence boost.

Rules, guidelines, and procedures made him feel more secure. Eijiro Kirishima was a natural follower. He had been that way his whole life. Leading stressed him out. Rolling his eyes, he scoffed at those thoughts. His empty room was the only thing to swallow up his sarcastic sounds. All he had to do last night was follow the rules, and that didn't even work out.

He had liked the atmosphere of the club. He liked the feelings he had around the club's dominants, it made his skin tingle and his body flood with emotions that he had never felt before. Things that should have scared him, turned him on. With his past, he was flabbergasted that he didn't freak out being put so abruptly in that situation.

Lying back down in bed, he closed his eyes and thought about the blond that had just popped back up in his town -- in his life. It had been five years since Eijiro had last seen Katsuki, and after seeing him so abruptly, it only flipped everything upside down, leaving last night's activities in a rushed blur. He remembered how his heart had stopped momentarily when he spotted Katsuki Bakugou in the night club. He found himself letting out a deep sigh of distress just thinking about it.

He had been standing there, locking eyes with Katsuki. The blond's face was pure shock before it wiped clean of emotion. Only leaving his face blank and cold with fiery red eyes glaring right at him.

His stupid lapse in self-control, when he jumped all over his long-lost best friend, made the redhead groan and smack his hands over his face in embarrassment. His cheeks burned, not from the rough smacks that he just gave himself, but from the memory of what happened after that.

He was scolded like a child by Master Hanta, Master Aizawa, and Katsuki. On top of that, he got spanked. Not only did the blond spank him, but he got hard from Katsuki delivering the spanking. Sitting back up in bed, Kirishima groaned and pushed his fingers through his red strands of hair. They stuck up in random places, evidence of his rough night of sleep.

A loud bang followed by the sound of clattering on the hardwood floor made him jump out of bed and rush down to the living room. He paused in the hallway listening to hear who was in the apartment and making so much noise. He knew Denki was the only one with a key other than himself. But his history of living in bad neighborhoods had him worried.

He knew it was Denki. Deep down he knew, but he was always overcautious.

"Shit -- ugh!" Denki's voice brought him out of his slight panic and he rounded the corner with a small smile. His roommate was on the floor where he has dropped his keys, phone, and some change. The items scattered around. Change scattering and rolling over the linoleum.

Watching his roommate scampering on the floor made him smirk. Denki was such an airhead sometimes. He thinks to himself while moving over silently to help his friend.

"Need some help?"

"SHIT!" Denki jumped and dropped the change that he had managed to pick up all over the floor again. Kirishima laughed loudly and doubled over, clutching his stomach with one hand over his mouth.

"Man! Why are you so jumpy?" He laughed and squatted down once he regained his composure. Denki just glared at him before huffing. It was silent for a few moments as they pick up the fallen items and sit them on the counter.

"Nice to see you made it home. You never texted me that you got here safe, I was worried." Denki grumbled under his breath. Shit, he had forgotten to text him and let him know that he had made it home. After Kat brought him home, he had gone straight to bed. Of course, Katsuki confirmed his phone number beforehand. 

It hadn't changed after all these years. That pissed Eijiro off slightly. Knowing that Katsuki had his phone number after all these years but never picked up the damn phone to contact him had the redhead furious.

"Shit, man. I am so sorry! Last night was... crazy." Sighing he rubbed his eyes while shaking his head to clear his sudden irritation.

"Yeah... Are you alright? I am so sorry for taking you there, Kiri--" Denki groaned and his face contorts in distress. His stress was clearly visible on his pale skin and bright golden-green eyes. Smiling to himself, Kirishima loved that Denki was easy to read; he wore his heart on his sleeve and was quite the emotional guy.

"I'm not." Mumbling and looking at the ground, he began feeling self-conscious that he liked the club despite it being such a cluster-fuck of an evening.

"Excuse me?" Denki sounded just as shocked as he himself felt from just thinking what he was about to say.

"I'm not sorry that you took me to The Red Door. I know it sounds crazy -- I feel kinda crazy --" Sighing again he flicked his eyes up to see Denki's reaction to his confession. The look on the boy's face said it all. His eyes were wide, and his mouth popped open in a small 'o', yet his eyes were shining with amusement.

"Care to share?" Denki prompted as his mouth formed a small smirk that made Eijiro groan and shake his head. 

"It's not a big deal. I just liked how I felt while we were there."

"Not a big deal?!" He exclaimed making Kirishima scoff and go to stand up. However, Denki grabbed his arm and made him sit back down.

"Denki, I don't want to talk about it!" He groaned at his roommate's eagerness. It had him shaking his head, but the smile on Denki's face made him realize that he wouldn't be going anywhere until he spoke up.

"Spill it. I want details. ACTUALLY, how do you know the sexy man with blond hair that got his hands onto some Kiri-booty?!" Denki squealed and Eijiro flinched.

"Shut up, you're so loud!"

"Spill it now!" He demands.

"Fine! Just -- fine..." Knowing that he wasn't getting out of this, he closed his eyes. Denki waited, going quiet for a few seconds before he sighed heavily.

"I won't judge you, Kiri. You know how much I love you. Hell, I am a part of that community, nothing you say will surprise me. I just want to make sure you are feeling okay. What happened last night was a lot for a first-timer."

"Don't remind me. I fucked up on my first trip..." Huffing at the memories has negative thoughts running through his head. But he gets a warning glare from Denki that shuts his intrusive thoughts up.

"Shut up, Kiri. Stop thinking so badly about yourself! Now -- you obviously know that one dominant from the club that you jumped, how?" Denki asked and it made him roll his eyes at how stupid his roommate could be sometimes.

He had spoken about Katsuki before. Only he had referned to him as Bakugou to Denki. How many people had the last name Bakugou? Sometimes he would call him 'Kat' thought. He just thought that Denki would have caught on by now.

"Are you serious, man? It's Bakugou. You know, my childhood friend. The one that I haven't seen in five years? That Bakugou--" He explained his with a stoic face while he watched Denki come to life with this information. His roommate sat up straight and gasped.

"How the fuck did I not notice that! He even said that you guys were childhood friends!" Denki shouted and slammed his hands on the countertop. Kirishima only sighed and rolled his eyes at his friend's overdramatic outburst. This was normal for the kid.

"Yep." He said lowly. There was a pause in their conversation before Denki spoke again. His eyes dancing with delight.

"Did you know he was into BDSM?" Kirishima scoffed at the question.

"Fuck no! I had no clue. In high school, he was short-tempered and blew his fuse at anyone who bugged him. Seeing him last night it was like a different person. He was calm and rational; he was never calm and rational!" He exclaimed with a frustrated huff. His mind brought up memories of his childhood friend. Bakugou was a wild one, never confirming to what society asked of him. Yet he did so beautifully and was able to come out top of the class at graduation.

Denki chuckled softly making Eijiro perk up some. He looked at Denki with a raised eyebrow.

"Most dominants have to be calm and collected like that. All of the ones that I have met have control issues, having a submissive can calm that itch for them. Seems like your dear friend found an outlet for his emotions." Denki explained making him squint his eyes some.

Was that how Bakugou had found his way into BDSM? Was it because of his temper and emotional issues that he too had to find something that would help? What are the fucking odds of that shit!?

"Don't look so constipated, Kiri." Denki laughed making him snap out of his thoughts.

"How would you know what I look like when constipated?" Retorting with a smirk, Eijiro desperately tried to dodge his friend's prying questions.

"Stop stalling. How are you really feeling, Kiri? This must be a lot on you." Denki said seriously making him groan in annoyance.

"I'm fine really! I am a little uncomfortable that he -- spanked -- me. I mean it was weird, and it made me -- Umm."

"Hard as fuck?" Denki interjected while heat rose up Eji's neck and covered his face.

"It was so embarrassing, man..." Whining and shaking his head he really didn't want to remember almost getting off from the punishment. Was it even a punishment if he liked it?

"It happens, spanking can be intense and pleasurable but also humiliating for punishments."

"Don't remind me..." Rolling his eyes, he glanced at Denki who was just smiling calmly and swinging his short legs like a child.

"So, Master Sexy drove you home?" Denki winked with a grin that made him want to vomit. Denki could be so annoying sometimes!

"Yes, he did." Waiting a few moments, he was debating if he should tell Denki about Katsuki's request for dinner and 'catching up' or if he should avoid telling his sex-crazed roommate about this. Part of him wanted to gossip. But the more rational part of him wanted to keep it to himself.

He never gave Kat an answer anyways.

"He asked me to dinner..." He blurted out before he could stop himself. Denki's eyes widened and he squealed. 

Nope. He should not have told him.

"What?! Shit Kirishima, what did you tell him?"

"Nothing! I didn't give him an answer!" Growling in annoyance he retorted quickly.

"Bitch! Why the fuck not!? He is not only THE Bakugou that you have never shut up over, but he is a dominant at the club that you seemed to be enjoying so very much! Have you even considered this?!" Denki was shouting and jumping around. He started dancing around and bouncing like a maniac, making Eijiro pinch the bridge of his nose.

"No, I haven't thought about it because there is no way in hell that is ever happening!"

"Bunny! Come on!" Denki whined, pulling out that 'bunny' nickname to try and butter him out.

"No, just no!" He watched the intense look in Denki's eyes. It had hin crossing his arms just knowing that he is about to get an earful.

"Fuck sake, bunny! Just listen to me for a moment, hear me out?"He was right. Denki sat back down and reached over the counter to hold the redhead's hands. Both inside his own tiny hands. He had never been able to resist that pout on his roommates face. It was dangerous how adorable the short male could be when he tried.

"Fine. Just give me your point of view, but don't expect me to like it!" Sighing he looked over at his roommate who is practically buzzing with excitement.

"Okay, so listen. I had a feeling that this lifestyle could give you some stability in your life like it did for me when I joined about a year ago. I have told you about how I used to be, I see myself in you a lot when I have to see you in your lows." He flinched at the reminder of his many depressive episodes. He would shut himself in his room for days, only to survive them because of Denki checking on him and bringing him food and water.

He remained silent so his friend can continue, clearing the thoughts from his head.

"I see how you struggle with confidence and making decisions. I see how you can't have a relationship because you're scared. I know your past trauma is ruling your life. You're 23, bunny... You deserve a chance to heal. You said it yourself, you felt good at The Red Door. You had the Master Dominant telling Master Hanta that you seemed like a natural." This is where he needed to speak up.

"What does that have to do with anything? I can't stand being touched by people, Denki." It was true, he hated being touched. It felt like fire on his skin, itchy and raw pain that made him recoil and his stomach drop. He had never liked being touched. Kat was the first person that seemed to never make his skin crawl.

Maybe it was because the blond male had never tried to touch him first, until almost a year into their friendship. Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he felt his anger rising. Denki was pushing him to see into things when there was nothing there to look for. He snapped at his roommate out of frustration. Did he not know how fucked up Eijiro was already? There was no way he could even think about having another intimate relationship with a man.

"I might roll over for authority, but I am not a bitch!" Snapping again he instantly regretted it when Denki flinched. The frown that pulled at his peachy lips had Eiji whining under his breath.

"I didn't mean that..." He was speaking quickly and softly now. He shook his head before giving an apologetic smile to his friend. He knew how Denki hated being called a bitch like that. He would never want to hurt his friend with name-calling. He did not think of Denki as a bitch.

"It's fine, bunny. I know you didn't mean anything by it." Denki said with his own sigh.

"Please continue?" He encouraged his roommate to keep talking, trying to make up for his outburst.

"I'm just saying, Kiri. You have your so-called best friend from your high school days as one of the best dominants at The Red Door. I heard Master Aizawa and Hanta talking about him. He is part of the main group there. Not only is he reliable, but you trust him. I saw how you were with him; he was able to touch you! Like shit, I couldn't touch you for months and you still get nervous. Yet you jump in his arms when you see him, that says something. If anyone would be able to help you, it would be him! Does he have a contracted submissive right now?" Denki asked and Eiji sat still for a few moments to think it over.

It had been five years but he still felt the same comfort and trust in his childhood friend that he had all those years ago. Katsuki was still able to touch him without triggering his body's rejection.

Hell, Kat spanked him and although he freaked out after the first strike, the ash-blond was able to calm him down. He finished the punishment. That had been shocking. He did feel good at The Red Door, that was a fact. Denki was right about him fitting in there. Even if it was a little. He had fit in for a moment and that felt good.

It still scared him to think about doing those things, and he would need a lot more information on the whole lifestyle before he could even really consider things like this. Scoffing under his breath, he tensed as a thought flicked into his head.

As if Bakugou would even want that kind of thing with him, they were just friends after all. Friends that hadn't seen each other in five years.

"No, he doesn't have a submissive. He told me that." Mumbling lowly he watched as Denki lit up, even more, looking like a damn Christmas tree.

"You see?!"

"No Denki --  just no. Kat would never want me like that, I don't even think I could look at him like that, let alone do anything -- sexual -- with him."

"Why don't you just ask him to do your training and then have him introduce you to a dominant at the club that he trusts?" Denki said as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"It's not that simple."

"Why not?" Denki pushed and Eijiro huffed.

"Because I don't know enough about this to even know what I want... I miss my friend for sure, but that is a lot to ask of him. I haven't seen him in 5 years, Denki. I don't want to lose him again." Muttering, he frowned at the thought of losing Kat already. Even though they barely spoke last night, just the thought of being close to Katsuki again seemed to have the redhead more awake than ever before.

"I'm just going to say this...You never know if you don't try, bunny. I know you care about Bakugou; you talk about him like he put the sun in the sky. You trust him. you should just go to dinner with him and maybe talk about it if it comes up. Just see what he thinks about it, maybe? I know a lot of dominants at the club and Master Bakugou is one of the bests there, he is respected and trusted by almost everyone there. No subs have ever complained about him either, so he is a safe bet for you and you both have history. I know you liked being there, I saw the look in your eyes. I had that same look in mine the first time. I have a strong feeling that this could help you. Just try and speak to him about it, if anything he can train you and give you more information on the lifestyle. You trust him so it would be easier for you to learn with him and work on some things like your confidence before maybe looking for a new dominant other than him."

Denki finished his speech and gave his hand a soft squeeze before letting go. He came around the table and placed a soft kiss on Eijiro's head before walking off to go take a shower, leaving Kirishima at the kitchen counter and deep in thought.

A lot of what Denki said made sense to him. He wanted to feel those things again. He wanted to be able to go back to the club and be able to be a part of Denki's life like that as well. The feeling of belonging to someone made him shiver, and if he could find healing and safety in submission, then he was willing to try it.

But, Bakugou being the one to train him, to lead him? The idea was appealing, after all, it wasn't anything new. He used to follow the ash-blond boy around high school like a lost puppy anyways. It was easy to follow his lead. He was a strong leader. He still was a strong leader.

However, thinking of doing anything sexual with Katsuki had him slightly uncomfortable yet curious at the same time. Part of him was intrigued while another part screamed danger.

What would sex be like with the ash blond? He has never before thought of his friends in a sexual way, but after seeing Kat in the club last night, Bakugou's dominating personality, firm hands, and encouraging voice had his dick pulsing to life in his pants. Considering how much he actually trusted the ash-blond, would he be able to enjoy sex fully?

Thinking about finally being able to enjoy some form of sexual touch had him wiggling on the stool. His cheeks were heating up at the idea that he might be able to finally have an orgasm that wasn't brought on by himself. He always had to finish himself off after Shinso orgasmed. His boyfriend couldn't even give him a handjob or blowjob and finish him off. It was as if his body rejected it.

He shook his head and quickly began to get those thoughts out of his head. Thinking of Katsuki Bakugou between his thighs had his dick leaking and his head shaking harshly. He didn't even know Kat was gay until last night.

There were so many things he didn't know about the ash-blond and here he was getting off on the thought of being fucked by someone he hasn't seen in five years. The Red Door was a primarily gay club. So, Kat must be gay. Or, bisexual at least.

"It doesn't matter!"  He groaned to himself and stood up. He adjusted his painfully hard problem before going back to his bedroom to sulk to himself for the rest of the evening. He needed to go back to sleep; this was just too much to think about. While walking back to his room, he took out his cellphone and saw a text from none other than Katsuki Bakugou.

It was delivered at 8am.

Katsuki: Good morning, I hope you slept well. I was wondering if you had an answer for me yet about dinner? -KB

Looking at the clock he noticed that it is 3pm, making him gasp and quickly reply.

Kirishima: Hello, sorry I did not see your text sooner.

Why is he replying so formal?

He deliberately left out his answer about dinner and smirked as he stuffed his phone back into his pocket and flopped down in bed. A few minutes later his phone buzzed with another text from Kat.

Katsuki: He lives! Did you just wake up? -KB

Huffing at his sarcastic text, Kirishima could all but hear the teasing tone of the blond's voice as he typed back.

Kirishima: No, I have been talking with my roommate.

Katsuki: I am assuming your roommate is Denki, right? -KB

Kirishima: Yep.

Kirishima tossed his phone on his pillow and sighed heavily. It had been forever since he had casually texted Katsuki. like this. It felt nice, but slightly uncomfortable as well. Maybe going to dinner with Kat wouldn't be such a bad thing. He could catch up with the blond and maybe give some thought to what Denki had said to him earlier. Denki had never given him bad advice before.

Except for that one time with the moonshine that had him both shitting and vomiting the next day with one hell of a hangover.

Katsuki: So, dinner? -KB

He sighed but a small smile spread across his face. Of course, Kat wouldn't let him off the hook that easy.

Kirishima: Sure, when?

Katsuki: Friday night, 7pm. I will pick you up. -KB

He looked at his phone to see the date. It is currently Wednesday and he is on vacation from work for a week. So, it just worked out that he was able to go to the club last night. Lucky fucking timing, he thought to himself before texting back.

Kirishima: That works for me, I'm looking forward to it.

Katsuki: I am as well, see you then, Red.

Kirishima's heart squeezed at the nickname that Katsuki gave him in high school. The blond had called him that in the club too and it made him want to cry at the sweet gesture. He thought the ash-blond had forgotten the endearing nickname.

The blond had always fussed over Eijiro's red hair. At first, making names like 'shitty hair' or 'dumb hair' but soon it transferred to just 'Red' after he had kept the color for longer than a few months. After a while, Katsuki started to remind him when his roots needed touching up. Kat had begun pointing out his natural black hair when it started showing again.

When the blond started to do that, he had realized that Katsuki must like his red hair and didn't think it to be so "shitty" after all.