_________________________________

"He likes rules, limits, 

and the safety of someone to keep him in line."

_________________________________

(Self Depreciation)

(Angst)

The uncertainties came full force and with a vengeance that turned his life upside down in the span of a few days.

Ever since he passed his certification, he had been back in his apartment and he no longer has daily contact with Katsuki anymore. However, the man didn't just disappear on him. Katsuki had been checking up on him now and then, mainly just to see if he had found a permanent dom at the club yet.

He had no idea why Katsuki was so interested in that information, but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to ignore the ash-blond even if he was upset with things.

Part of him wished he had been enough to gain Katsuki's attention. When he became a certified submissive at the night club, he had wished his friend and teacher had been impressed and offered him a contract.

He felt good being in the lifestyle, or maybe he just felt good belonging to the ash-blond.

Whatever it was, it's been too long since he's been back to the club and staying cooped up in his room all the time wasn't healthy. He knew this but just couldn't face his fears.

When he wasn't at work, he would stay curled up in his room or lounging about the apartment. Denki even took some time to stay home with him and keep him company. His roommate put two and two together and realized that something was wrong and that it had something to do with Kat.

"Maybe you should go out to the club." Denki had been trying to get him out of the house for 2 weeks, but he just wasn't ready for that.

At the club, the men would be expecting sex from him, Katsuki never expected sex or touching at all. Kat was safe, the men at the club wouldn't know his limits and no one would even want to play with a submissive that was a prude.

The idea of rejection kept him from going more than the idea of being touched by someone.

He had gained a bit of his confidence back while being with the ash-blond. Now, with Katsuki not having any kind of control over his life, it felt as if he didn't know what to do or who to turn to.

"I don't know..." Rolling over in bed, he pressed his face into his pillows.

Still, in his pajamas from the night before, he hasn't even been getting up or getting dressed. Denki flops down in bed beside him before rolling over and cuddling up to his side.

"Come on, Kiri... You shouldn't be cooping yourself up like this, you know?" It was no secret that he felt let down, even if he never told Katsuki that he had begun wishing for a long term contract, the fact that Kat didn't bring it up was enough proof that he wasn't a good fit for what the ash-blond wanted and needed.

"Have you told him how you've been feeling lately?" Denki asks quietly, and even though he didn't say his name, he knew Denki was talking about Katsuki.

"No, we don't talk about much when he texts me." He replied just barely pulling his face from the pillows to be heard.

Denki groaned and shoved him, pushing him onto his back and crawling overtop him, making him arch an eyebrow curiously at his friend. His body instantly tensing up at being pinned to the bed, even if it was only Denki on top of him.

"What?" He snapped only to have Denki roll his eyes and place his hands on his hips as he remains straddling his hips.

"You're getting up, we are going to the club tonight and you're going to mingle!" Denki huffs and he groans, shoving his hands at Denki's hips to move him off.

"Off. Get. Off." He groaned, annoyance lacing his voice. "There is no point in me going back there, no one wants a submissive like me, okay?" He snaps and gives up trying to push his friend off his body.

Instead, he grabs a pillow and covers his face with it only to be ripped away and met with a glare from the boy sitting on him.

"Not with that attitude, mister! You've been sulking enough. Sami and Chris have been asking about you. Even Master Aizawa asked me the other night if you were coming in, he owns the place you know, you technically belong to him." Denki giggles and flops down on his chest, covering his body and making him groan louder.

Another reason why he couldn't bring himself to go back to the club was for the fear he would see Katsuki with another boy. He's gotten attached to the ash-blond and knows damn well that seeing him with another sub would hurt. The sad part is that he never told Katsuki how much he liked being with him the past month, and now it has been 2 weeks and Kat has surely moved on.

"Denki... I can't." He whispered and wrapped his arms softly around the boy's waist. He might as well hug him if the idiot won't get off.

"Why?"

"Because I don't even know how to act anymore. It was perfect with Kat, everything just came naturally and now I feel lost." It was the truth, but Denki didn't give up. He only sat up, knocking the wind out of him as he plants his ass on his stomach and glares daggers.

"You're never going to move forward in life if you keep sulking. There are some amazing doms at the club that would love to make a contract with you! Now, get your lazy ass up and go get ready. We are leaving in 30 minutes." Denki grumbles and slips off his body and the bed as well.

"But-" 

"No buts! If you aren't ready I will have Master Hanta drag you out!" Denki warns with crossed arms and a jutted out bottom lip that only makes him roll his eyes. However, he doesn't doubt the fact that Master Hanta would drag him out, and something in him sparks to life at the threat of a dom being upset at him for not doing something.

Slipping out of bed, he shoots Denki a glare before trudging off to the bathroom. Denki skips off happily as he slams the bathroom door shut and starts fiddling with the nobs of the shower with a frustrated expression that he could feel on his face.

***

Denki wasn't kidding, Master Hanta showed up in exactly 30 minutes prepared to drag him out of the house if he wasn't ready. Thankfully, he listed to his stupid-ass roommate and got dressed and ready in some black spandex shorts that Denki provided. He wore a zipped up hoodie for now, just until he made it to the club and could prep in the sub room.

Another thing that he found as truthful was that Sami and Chris both had been missing him. Once arriving and slipping into the sub's room to prep, he was swarmed by them both and tackled into an uncomfortable hug by a very naked Sami. 

"We've missed you, Kiri!" Sami squealed swayed them back and forth in the tight embrace, and for once in about a week he felt a smile pull at his lips. "Where the hell have you been?" Sami scolded once he dropped his hold and stepped back.

Laughing it off and avoiding the question, he began asking his friends how things have been, secretly hoping to hear some news about Kat and if he was with anyone new. However, nothing of the sorts were discussed, only some tips and tricks to show interest in a dominant.

Denki provided some comfort as well, telling him that it was normal to be nervous and that no dominant that belonged to this club would push him past his limits. Master Aizawa would have their balls on a silver platter if they hurt one of his submissives like that, Sami insisted.

Although, once he found himself out on the floor to mingle with some people, his anxiety spiked, making it harder for him to focus and stay calm.

Scanning the room, he spots a few of Red Door dominants that Denki pointed out as being free of contract and open to play. Was he ready for that? Doing a scene with a new man after being celibate for so long and only just getting into the lifestyle? He wasn't ready for sex, but maybe he could handle some touching.

Fighting the blush that runs up his cheeks, he turns and marches off towards the bar to grab a drink, knowing that he will need it to calm himself down before approaching one of the dominants.

The bar is mainly empty, making it quick and easy for him to grab a few shots and down them quickly, letting the familiar burn pool in his empty stomach, soaking up the alcohol quicker than if he had eaten before.

After a few minutes of standing there and looking around, the liquor kicks in and makes him straighten up.

"I can do this." He mutters to himself as he spots a few doms that are hanging around the lounge area, none of whom he recognizes but he doesn't care. The liquid courage he had ingested minutes prior seems to be kicking in as he lowers his eyes and walks over to the men.

Once he arrives, he keeps a few feet back and his eyes stay glued to the floor. It only takes a few seconds before one man speaks up, his voice deep and rich, making his adrenaline spike and a smile pull at his lips.

"Well hello there." His voice holds an amused lilt, making his cheeks pinken as he licks his lips nervously.

"Hello, sir." He replies shyly, his heart thumping hard in his chest but in a good way. His nerves aren't as bad and if anything, the adrenaline and alcohol coursing his system have him excited.

"What's your name?" He asks, and although he hasn't looked up yet, he can tell the man is facing him on the sofa. "You can look up, I want to see your pretty face." Heat creeps up his neck and he slowly lifts his head, locking eyes with the gorgeous man on the sofa. 

His hair is jet black, matching both the black leather pants he had on as well as his tight black tank top that looked to be laced up on the sides.

"My name is Eijiro Kirishima, sir." His voice coming out softly and with a quiver that gave away his nerves. The man smiles at him and points to the ground between his legs.

"Kneel." He orders softly, and he quickly responds, gracefully dropping to his knees between the man's thighs and lowering his head in submission. "Good boy, my name is Kai." The man immediately places his hand into his hair and begins stroking him softly. 

At first, he tenses up but quickly relaxes as the alcohol calms him more as time passes by.

"It's nice to meet you, sir." He replies softly and stays there for a few minutes. They don't speak much more and he begins to feel anxious as he stays in the quiet for longer than anticipated. Kai only chats with his friends for a while, keeping his fingers running through his hair.

This isn't so bad, Kai seems nice and so far this isn't anything different than what he had practiced and learned from Katsuki. Kai is a stranger but has been polite and kind to him. Before he had time to think too hard, Kai leans down and whispers in his ear.

"Would you like me to play with you tonight, little one?" Excitement spreads through his veins like wildfire, and for once he decides to be bold. Mustering up his borrowed courage, he nods his head.

"Yes, sir. I would like that." He whispers back, sure that Kai heard him from his close proximity. Kai chuckles deeply, sending chills down his spine as anticipation blooms within.

"Alright then, come with me, cutie." Kai stands up and holds his hand out. Taking the dom's hand, Kai pulls him to his feet and laces their fingers together leading him off to a playroom. The walk is long, giving him plenty of time to think of a way to tell Master Kai that he didn't plan on sleeping with him or doing much at all, that he was still new to this and needed a gentle hand.

Giving a quick glance around to see his location, he spots Sami who is sitting on Master Aizawa's lap and nuzzled into his chest, a happy smile planted on Sami's lips that makes him smile as well. 

However, a quick glance to Sami's left and he meets the narrowed red eyes of Katsuki who is watching him intensely, his gaze locked in on the redhead being pulled into a playroom. His heart thumps in his chest as his stomach flutters at the sight of Kat wearing his signature bare chest and tight black leathers.

He watched the ash-blond, holding his gaze until he was out of sight.

And my god, if looks could kill.