During the past few days, Jordan's been asking a ton of questions about me. I knew most of them, some I didn't remember, and some that I really just didn't know. Does my bladder still work? How do I still have hormones? How is my brain working when my heart barely does? Well I don't know, I'm not a damn scientist. I'm dead. Anyway, I've told the truth to all of the questions, and explained them the best to my ability with my annoying speech impediment. I was truthful the whole time though. The whole time. Didn't lie once. Told the truth about every single thing he asked me.

...Except one.

He keeps asking me if there are any other dead I know that can talk, and I tell him no each time he asks. I guess you could say I'm lying, but...I don't really think it's a lie necessarily. Ugh. I might as well explain myself. Ready for a story? I hope you are because if not, screw you I'm telling it anyway.

A long time ago...well I'm not actually sure how long ago it was, I don't really keep track of time all that much. But it was time in the past. I met this 'guy' named James during a hunt. Well, I wouldn't call it a hunt. I was being chased down the street by a narcissistic and arrogant living armed with a machete, and James just so happened to be nearby to rescue me (which means he literally bolted at me from out of nowhere). One hit to the skull from the thick ass book James was holding and the guy went down like a twig. He had smiled at me when he finished the job.

"Perhaps it is the dead who must arm themselves," he had chuckled after saving my life. I still remember his voice, rich and brilliant, the most beautiful thing I'd heard since I died. I was entranced by it.

He was absolutely amazing to say the least. He talked so fluently and emotionally, almost like a human, but he looked like us, pale grayish skin with lifeless eyes. The thing is...I don't know if he's dead or if he's alive. I never got the chance to ask him. Before he left the city, we used to be together all the time. He read me books and stories of the past (that's how I found out that before this life, I was a human), and I was always so eager to learn from him. He's how I learned to talk. He taught me how to pronounce words and he told me about the world before all of this happened. James was my best friend. We did everything together and ever since the day he saved my life, we'd been inseparable.

The day he left, I was an absolute mess. I didn't know what to do with myself. No one else understood me like he did because nobody else had the ability to fucking talk to me. That's why I didn't tell Jordan about him. I didn't want to admit that there was someone else I loved even more than him. Before I met Jordan my days consisted of hoping that James would interrupt my day dreaming with a knock on my door, just like he used to. Did I forget to mention he was the one who showed me the hotel in the first place? Yeah, we shared the top floor together. He showed me his collection of human memories. He helped me build my collection of human memories. He left me his collection when he left the city. I still have a picture of him tucked away in my pillow case, along with the others Jordan took.

Should I tell Jordan about James? I thought this as I stared at James' picture while Jordan slept sound asleep beside me. His wide blue eyes always seemed to show his wisdom, his strength, his weaknesses. I wish I had asked him what he was before he left. He couldn't have been one of the dead. He was too...unique. Strange. Beautiful.

"Don't be envious of my ways, you have much more potential than I," he would say every time I let even a hint of envy show. He was so humble. God I miss him.

I laid back on my pillow with the picture still in hand. I tried to recall all of the best moments with him. My favorites of his inspiring words. I shut my eyes tightly and tried to imagine him being here with us. Being here on the top floor with Jordan and I.

T⃒H⃒E⃒ D⃒E⃒A⃒D⃒ D⃒O⃒ N⃒O⃒T⃒ D⃒R⃒E⃒A⃒M⃒.

I opened my eyes again and instead of the ceiling, I saw rows and rows of books. Where am I? Wasn't I just in bed with Jordan? I scanned the quiet and eerie room with caution. No one seemed to be here. I slowly stepped forward to get a better look on where I was. It was just an empty library.

"Why is he always late?" I heard an annoyed voice ask. It was so quiet. I barely heard it, let alone the direction it came from.

"Be patient, you salt shaker. He's still trying to figure things out." This voice sounded more female. It sounded familiar too...

"He's agonizingly slow."

"Shush. He'll get it. Just give him some time." Another new voice. It sounded like...Jordan? Was he here too?

"Yes. Patience is key. Life is the lock."

I knew that voice. It was the only voice I had known for so long. I won't ever forget his voice.

"James?! Jordan?!" I asked the air. I jogged down the aisles of shelves, hopping maybe they were behind one of them. They weren't. I checked behind the shelves, on top of them, all over the place. They weren't here.

"Should we help him?" I heard Jordan ask, but his voice still seemed far away. "He looks lost."

"No. Just give him a little time. He'll be here soon." I felt my heart flutter when James spoke again. I want to see him. I want to see those wise blue eyes, always seeming to know everything about anything.

"James! Where are you?!" It felt weird being able to speak without stuttering or slowing down.

"He's so clueless. Doesn't he know?" I heard one of the voices scoff.

"He's coming, I know it," I heard Jordan say. "He will."

I ran to the back of the building, maybe to check the rooms back there, but there were no doors. Where the hell were they? In the sky? I sighed in frustration and turned back to go look through the shelves again, but there were no shelves. I was in the mini mall, in the cafeteria. But I wasn't alone. Jordan, Tucker, and Sonja were all gathered at a table together. Tucker was eating a bag of chips, Sonja was drawing pictures in a small book, and Jordan was...he want doing anything. He was just sitting there, impatiently tapping his foot and glancing at the time often. It's like he was waiting on someone.

"So what would you wanna be? You know, if the world wasn't so screwed up. What career what you choose?" Sonja asked Tucker, who was tossing chips in the air and catching them in his mouth.

"I don't know, a sports announcer I guess? Seemed like a pretty sweet job back when everything was alive."

Sonja nodded. "What about you Jordan? What do you wanna be?"

The question broke him away from whatever he was worrying about. "Me? Jeez I never really thought about it. I just wanna be able to live and be happy...I don't really care what my job is."

"That sounds cool. Well, what about you?" She looked up from her book and our eyes met. I looked around me, checking to see if maybe she was talking to someone else, but no one else was here.

"You're talking to me?" I asked her.

She smiled and nodded. "Yeah. What do you want to be?"

The question was really simple, but I couldn't think of an answer. I've never really thought about the future. I've always thought about the past and how much it sucked. What did the future entail?
"I...I don't know what I want to be."

"Oh come on. There's gotta be something. Think about it." Jordan smiled at me encouragingly.

"I guess...to be with you?" I answered unsurely. "Yeah. I want to be with you."

Tucker laughed and Sonja slapped him on the arm. "What?" He asked her, still laughing. "He's dead. He can't be with Jordan. It's not natural."

"Come on guys, he can be whatever he wants." Jordan stood from his chair and walked over to me. His hand melded with mine, and his lips brushed against mine. "You can be whatever you want to be. But you have to work for it and believe you can do it. You already have my heart Tom. You just need to keep me like that."

"But...what if I lose control? What if I hurt you or I get you killed or-"

"Shh." He put a finger to my lips. "You're worrying yourself to death. I love you. Show me that you still love me too. That's the next step. We'll worry about that other stuff later."

He was right. I need to focus on the now.

"I already had sex with you," I laughed nervously. "What else can I do to prove that I love you?"

"You can think of something. You always do." The voice coming from his lips wasn't his anymore. It was James'.

"You are full of love. Share that love with the one you want to be with forever. Let me go, Tom." His eyes turned that pale shade of blue. He looked so tired, my James. So weak and unhappy. His eyes were no longer filled with wisdom. They were glistening with sadness.

"Let me go."

I woke up with tears flowing down my cheeks. How can I let him go? He was everything to me.

But James left a long time ago. I can't even remember how long ago it was. He just simply said it was too much and that he needed to go someplace else. I wanted to beg him to stay. I actually considered getting on my knees and begging him when he turned to go. But I didn't. I watched him leave.

Where is my James? Is he dead? Is he living out his dreams? I don't even know. I wish I did.

"Tom?" A tired voice asked. Jordan's voice broke me from my thoughts.

"Y-Yes?" I hastily swallowed my emotions.

"Are you alright? I can't exactly tell but it looks a lot like you're crying."

What do I tell him? Do I admit I lied about knowing another talking dead? But James wasn't dead. He was alive, he only looked dead. This is so confusing.

"I...lied."

"You lied? About what?" I felt him sit up in bed.

"N-Not...the only...one...who can...talk."

"There's someone else like you?! Tell me who it is! Are they still here? Do you still talk to them?"

I can't explain everything to him. My poor vocal chords are already strained from talking so much the last few days.

And then I had an idea.

I reached into my pillow case, where I usually put everything super valuable to me. I pulled out James' iPhone and then his photo. I think there's still some battery left on the phone. I charge it every so often with one of those battery operator chargers. If I didn't have his phone, I don't think I could've dealt with him leaving. I can't believe I'm gonna show him this. This is probably the most personal thing I own. And I've just met him...

I nervously traced the home button the phone. "Very...person...al."

"Oh. I understand. You don't have to tell me...I'm just kind of curious."

I sucked in a breath and pressed the home button. His face lit up on the screen. His lock saver had been a photo of me and him, but I never payed attention to myself. I only saw his face. His shining smile and his big blue eyes.

"Is...is that him?" I saw a finger point at his face in the dark.

"Y-Yes." I slid my finger across the screen, and the apps popped up. I tapped the video app and waited for the roll to pop up. It finally did, and I clicked on the one Id watched a million times before. His face popped up again with a white play button in front of it. I tapped and waited for it to show.

James' rich and brilliant voice filled the air. "Hello world! My name is Waglington and this is my fellow companion, Syndicate!" Syndicate. He loved calling me that. He preferred nicknames over our real names, because it symbolized how we were new people in a new world. I never knew why he chose Syndicate. I never asked either.

The camera focused on me in the background of my room. I was tinkering with some snow globe, trying to get the sound to work. My eyes looked up for a moment to the camera, before going back down to my work. I was really distant back then. I was still trying to figure out life and how things worked, why I was a monster and how I became this way.

"Calm down Syndicate, you talk so much." I could hear the sarcasm in his voice. I miss it.

I simply rolled my eyes on the screen. "Y-you...t-talk...t-too...m-much."

"And you never talk enough. Can you perhaps say something wise and brilliant for the camera, hmm?"

"N-No..."

"Please Syndi? Just a few words? I would greatly appreciate it." The sweetness in his words never ceased to make my chest flutter. He always had that effect on me.

You could see in my face that I just melted under his words. "D-Don't...t-talk...g-good," I tried to make an excuse.

"Yes you do. You can't fool me. Just a few words Syndi, please?"

I sighed and stopped moving the snow globe for a second. "Why do you always call me Syndi..." I muttered, still looking at my snow globe.

"Woah! Tom you're British?!" Sparklez exclaimed in a high pitched voice. I shushed him and kept my eyes on the video. Yes I was British. I don't know if I was born that way, or maybe James just rubbed off on me, but yes I was British. It's just hard to tell if I'm stuttering all the time. James was great at teaching me how to talk. He loved it when I tried extra hard and was able to say things clear as day. Maybe it was because he liked my voice. I don't know.

"Yes! Oh why don't you speak all the time Syndi? You sound so wonderful!" He sounded so happy.

"D-Don't...like...to."

"Oh phooey. You love to talk. And I call you Syndi because it suits you. Just like you love to call me Waggles."

Waggles. I loved calling him that. It rolled off my tongue so perfectly.

"S-Stop...f-filming...Waggles." I hated cameras. Back then they reminded me of how much I hated myself, my appearance.

"No, not until you say goodbye."

"Goodbye," I muttered with distaste.

"Syndi..." James sang.

"Goodbye world," I said with a little more enthusiasm and a small smile. James laughed in the background.

"That's my Syndicate."

And then it stopped. I blew out the breath I'd been holding since I pressed play.

"So...you love James?" Jordan asked. He sounded sad.

I choked on my own breath. "N-No!" I didn't love James! He was a friend! A really...really good friend.

"What? He obviously...obviously loved you. You didn't love him back?"

No. James didn't love me. Did he?

Oh my god. James loved me.

"Tom it's okay if you love him. I mean...he's sort of better than me. Way more confident and attractive..."

Why am I realizing this now? He was in love with me and I didn't even know it. Is that why he left? He couldn't take it anymore, my cluelessness?

"Tom?" A hand shook my shoulder and ruptured my thoughts.

"W-What?"

"Do you love him?"

James is gone. He's probably dead somewhere in a ditch. I can't stay hung up over him. Jordan is my priority. I love Jordan. James is gone.

Let me go.

"N-No...love you...only y-you." I felt through the darkness and took his hand.

Goodbye James.
~~~

IF THE FANCY FONT DOESNT WORK I WILL BE FURIOUS. IT WORKS FOR ME BUT IDK IF IT WORKS FOR YOU GUYS OR WHAT. TELL ME IF IT DOES. IF NOT IM CHANGING IT TO SOMETHING ELSE. UGH.

I haven't had school in awhile and I am completely okay with this. I've had time to write, edit, play minecraft, sleep, make friends, be happy. WHY DOES SCHOOL EXIST. EVERYONE IS SO MUCH HAPPIER WITHOUT IT.

Anyway if you're reading this right at the exact moment I posted it in the middle of the night HECK YEAH I RESPECT YOU FELLOW LATE NIGHT CRAWLERS (OR PEEPS WITH DIFFERENT TIME ZONES) but if you're reading this any other time it's okay bb I still love you <3

The Q and A video is up, but...ugh. I sound ten years old and my accent is disgusting. Why was I born in the state of fried chicken and *shudders* nevermind, the internet is a safe place where I can escape this tiny box of awful things and focus on being myself >.< But anyway if you want to see the video and want me to post the link, can you put a little comment down so I know that you want to see me laugh like a hyena and talk like a ten year old hillbilly who loves fried chicken? Zool sounds great in it and he's articulate and funny and amazing and the only reason you won't die from cringing while watching the video. Im gonna go now while I still possess my dignity. Goodbye!

(Psst. Hey. I love you. <3)

- Lee