"I'll have an iced americano with extra cream and sugar, thanks," I order at the nearest café after checking in at the hotel. I chose a really great place with a view of the ocean, so I can watch the sunset from my balcony, and access the beach at any time of the day.

I grab my coffee and sit at a table, pulling out my notebook that I bought specifically for this trip. It's completely empty, which excites me, but also pressures me, because what I fill it with has to be perfect. Or maybe it doesn't. I can't seem to decide yet.

I must look strange to others, a huge guy wearing a reverse black snapback on his head while sipping a tiny plastic cup of iced coffee through a straw, tapping my pen against a notebook, sitting all alone at a beach-side cafe. But then again, people here look like they come from all walks of life. It fascinates and inspires me, enough to begin writing. Just one sentence.

I walk among the people, like a cedar among pines, different yet the same, just a tree among trees.

I smile, satisfied, before doodling a little tree beside the sentence and then writing namu, my nickname that my little sister used to call me, because I'm tall, like a namu, which means tree in Korean. And because my name is Namjoon.

How funny is it that we are all made of the same stuff, be it vessels or tissue or cells, however once you give us a name, we are immediately distinguished, differentiated – divided. Much like the cedar and pine who both start out as seeds in the ground, both require photosynthesis and nutrients from the soil, however, we, the divided ones, decide to divide them with scientific names, when, in essence, are they not just trees? Are we not, in essence, just humans?

Are we not, in essence, all the same?

🌻

"Same!"

The girl before me jumps in delight, excited to discover that we are both big fans of Coldplay. Her name is Cameron – but I can call her Cammie for short! – and she's my extremely enthusiastic roommate from Los Angeles, California, here to study as a vet, or as she likes to put it, "wildlife healer."

I love her already.

"Come on, lemme show you around! This place is totally awesome!" she tugs me out of our room, leaving my suitcase, which I wanted to start unpacking as soon as I arrived but that was before I met Cammie the wildlife healer.

And she's totally right. The campus is so large that it's a wonder she doesn't get lost as she shows me the libraries, the lecture theatres, the art gallery, and finally, the Japanese garden.

"Oh my god, it's...it's beautiful!" I take in the dark twisting river reflecting the cluster of trees and bordered by manicured bright green lawns and stones. The place exudes serenity and natural beauty like no other place I have ever seen, and I already know I will visit here often in the near future.

But where I really want to visit is the beaches, especially the famous Waikiki Beach.

"You wanna go now?" Cammie seems keen as soon as I suggest it, so we head back to our room, change our attire – or at least, I do, since Cammie and every other person is permanently wearing beach clothes with a swimsuit beneath – and drive to the beach.

We play some fresh coldplay tunes with the windows rolled down, the wind streaming through our hair, the sunlight casting a glow on everything. Cammie feels like an old friend that I've known for forever, perhaps due to her Californian charm that is bright and easy-going, and I don't find it difficult to talk to her, sharing my life story.

"Wow, so you moved from Korea to Australia at just ten years old? That must've been scary, right?"

"At the time, yeah. It was so new to me, but I loved it. I still love it. I mean, it's my home," I gulp, feeling a little emotional. Only three hours here, and I'm already homesick. Get it together, Hwarin.

"I feel the same way about LA. But personally, I prefer Hawaii," she shoots me a grin. "So of course, when I heard they were offering the same course I was studying, but here, I was like, sign me up! I'm going to Hawaii!"

We find a parking spot right beside a RV surrounded by shirtless, tanned and blonde guys carrying surfboards. When I step out of Cammie's car, I am hit with a spray of sea water as one of the guys with a chiseled abdomen shakes his wet sandy hair. I freeze, blinking away the water, and he chuckles, flashing white teeth.

"Sorry, babe. Didn't see you there," he winks, and I raise my eyebrows.

"It's fine," I turn away from him, reaching into the car for my bag. When I emerge, I find Cammie chatting with the guys, laughing and twirling her hair as they eye her. I wrinkle my nose. Is this normal here in Hawaii?

"Bye guys! Aloha!" Cammie waves at them as we finally walk away. She turns to me, giggling.

"They called me cute!" She then sighs wistfully. "But I'm in a relationship."

"You are?" I don't know why I am surprised. I guess because she didn't mention it?

"Yeah. He's back in LA, waiting for me," she grins. "His name is Connor. Cammie and Connor," she giggles.

"Is long distance hard?" I ask.

She nods as the wind sweeps her caramel curls across her freckled face. "It's hard for the both of us, but we make it work by face-timing each other every night and sending each other, uh," she giggles. "Pictures."

"Oh," I catch on to what she's implying, feeling my cheeks redden.

"Anyway, you wanna go surfing? There's some boards we can rent," she points over to the surf shack slash souvenir shop on the pier, and I hesitate.

"Um, I don't know how to...surf."

"Really? But you're from Australia!" she exclaims incredulously.

"That's not how it works," I laugh.

"But you're studying marine biology. Shouldn't you know how to surf?"

"Surfing isn't part of the curriculum," I chuckle.

Her green eyes flash with mirth. "Well, it should be! Anyway, don't worry, I'll teach ya! When you're in Hawaii, you gotta learn how to surf!" she drags me along, and I suddenly really wish I hadn't gotten to the hostel so early, because if I had been a minute late, I would've missed running into Cammie, and maybe I would've had some time to settle in alone, maybe take a nap.

But no, my jet-lagged self is going to learn how to surf from a wild green-eyed California girl who loves animals and Coldplay and doing things spontaneously with people she's just met.

"So you just get up like this, and then voila! You're surfing!"

She makes it look so easy, perhaps because we are still on land, so when I try, she praises me, saying I am a natural!

When we go out into the water, however, I am a slippery, wobbling mess.

"I think just stick to body-boarding, yeah?" she grins at me, water dripping off her shoulder blades as we carry our boards back onto the shore after many failed attempts to get me standing.

"I'll learn one day, I guess," I shrug. "Just not today."

Cammie holds her hand up for a high five. "That's the spirit! Take it one day at a time! Today, body-boarding, tomorrow, the world!"

I laugh. "You're crazy. But like, in a good way."

She spreads her arms out, the sun twinkling off her droplet-studded skin. "You can't live here unless you're crazy!"

🌻

Crazy, isn't it? How the waves roll into the sand, embracing the land like a lover, only to retreat back into its infinite depths as if they have been heartbroken by that same lover. But they return every time, despite the heartbreak, despite the opposing elements, because something more profound pulls them together, a magnetic force that goes beyond human comprehension –

The wind blows through my notebook, causing it to tumble out of my hands and into the sand. I sigh, picking it up and brushing the hard cover off, shaking out the grains from between the pages. I can't have it ruined on the first day. Not when I plan to stay here for over a week.

It feels good to be here, gazing at the vivid blue horizon, watching the people, soaking in the sun. Mum will lose her mind when she sees me get tan, but what can she do? The sun is relentless, and I am its mere victim.

Okay, Namjoon, enough of the poetic monologues.

I pick up my phone, checking the time. I've been here for an hour already. My literature professor would be proud. He would always make us go out and sit under trees and such, drawing inspiration from nature for our writing endeavors.

But there's more than just the sea here. There are people. Lots of them. Surfing, tanning, playing volleyball, eating, talking, laughing. Lots of beautiful people, might I add. The muscular men make me feel like I should hit the gym again, while the curvy sun-kissed women make me –

From the corner of my eye, I spot a girl fall into the water from a board, while her friend laughs. Curious, I watch in amusement as the dark-haired girl tries again, only to fail a second time. This goes on for a few more times before she seemingly gives up, and the two girls paddle back into shore.

"Well, at least she tried." I open my notebook again, scribbling down a thought.

The ocean's biggest triumph is its ability to coax the land-goers into its heavenly blue depths, only to mock us when we fail to master its tumultuous tides.

I stare at the sentence, puckering my brow as I try to make sense of what I just wrote. Oh, well. At least I tried, right?

🌻

"Right, guys, are we ready to go?"

David, or Dave for short, is our teacher, or as he likes to call himself, Captain Dave, and he urges us all to call him that.

"I said, are we ready to go?" he repeats, cupping a hand to his ear, and we all chorus out a half-hearted "Aye, Aye, Captain!"

He grins. "There it is. Now we are ready to go."

We are on our first of many excursions to the coast as part of the course. I'm particularly excited, because I love the ocean. Living in Sydney, Bondi Beach was just a short drive away, and we would always go on family vacations to the Gold Coast, Fiji and other tropical places near the water. So of course, I just had to study marine biology as it's my passion to understand the creatures of the deep and be near them as much as possible.

"I also really wanted to go to Hawaii, and when I heard about the scholarship, I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I applied, and here I am," I end up chatting with a half-Japanese, half American girl named Kira on the bus to the coast. It seems like every girl I meet here is so bubbly and full of ambitious energy, and I feel myself opening up, letting the inner marine biology nerd flourish through.

She needs to prosper to her full potential, and it seems as though this is the perfect place for her to thrive.

Rockpools bubbling with life, waves crashing against the black shiny rocks gleaming in the sun that never seems to stop shining since I arrived...as we trek over sand, guided by the voice of the captain that carries over the wind, I can't help but smile, thinking, I'm home. Your heart is home.

I could get used to this.

🌻

This sentiment that she experiences, of subtle breeze and fragrant sunshine, calls to her, like the lullaby of a mother calling to her child. She is nurtured by her nature. The nature nurtures her. She is...

I glance up from the beginnings of my novel, squinting at the horizon as the sun bathes my back. The sun here is welcoming, gentle and kind, unlike the harsh sun I acquainted with at home in Australia.

I don't know what I am writing. For some reason, I want to write about a female protagonist, even though I know little of the workings of their mind, despite having a younger sister. If anything, Min only made me even more confused. And it's not like Hayley helped either.

She was my date for both formals, and we helped each other with homework, but at the end of the day, we were very different, and we had our own friends whom we preferred to hang out with. Perhaps we could've become something more if she wasn't so quick to friend-zone me, straight after I finally gathered the guts to ask her to formal.

She said yes, because she knew that we both needed someone, and no one would go with either of us.

"We gotta help each other out, right, Joon?"

She then proceeded to bro-fist me in the arm while smiling.

Yeah, I really do not understand women.

I stand up and stretch, feeling self-conscious as I see the other men, looking ripped and fit. I guess I should go for a run...but I can't leave my stuff here.

So I roll everything into my towel and shove it into my bag, slinging it on my shoulders while still bare-backed. Though I am relatively tan, beside all these Hawaiian locals, I look like a ghost, so it can't hurt to get some colour. Who cares what my mum thinks? If I want a tan, imma get a tan, because –

"Is that a crab?" I gasp, stopping in my tracks to bend over, staring at the tiny pale creature that scuttles across the sand. It looks small enough to fit into my palm, but still bigger than my thumb, so I reach out my hand to let it naturally crawl onto my skin, beaming as it does a little dance with its claws.

"Aren't you cute?" I coo. "What should I name you? Or maybe you already have a name?"

"Are you talking to a crab?"

I turn to find a little boy, no more than eight, judging me while carrying a bright green bucket full of seaweed.

"Of course. Crabs are my friends," I respond, pointing to the little crab on my hand. "See?"

And in that moment, I experience the biggest betrayal in history, for the crab decides to pinch me in an attempt to escape, and I yelp, causing it to fall from my hand into the sand. The boy stares at me.

"I don't think that crab likes you."

And then he walks away, while I cradle my hand in pain. Why?

🌻

"Why is that man talking to a crab?"

Kira points over to a tall, Asian man with no shirt, a backpack and a snapback, just on the other side of the rockpools beyond the cliff, talking to a crab that sits in his hand while a kid approaches him. I smile.

"Maybe he's a marine biologist."

"Then he should be here, with us," Kira says with a sly smile. "I mean, I wouldn't mind."

I shrug. "The more, the merrier, right?"

But then we both witness him drop the crab and release a yelp of pain that we can hear even from the roaring of the waves, and we laugh.

"Yeah, maybe it's a good thing he isn't a marine biologist."

"Okay, guys, we gotta wrap it up now for lunch, who's hungry?"

Dave takes us to a nearby restaurant, and much to my dismay, much of the menu is just –

"Meat. I don't eat meat," I sigh.

"Omg, same! I've been vegan for two years now. Still going strong!" Kira holds up her wrist, where she shows off a bracelet that says VEGAN on it. "Wait..." she frowns. "You're Korean, but you don't eat meat?"

"My whole family thinks I'm an abomination," I laugh. "No, but they don't mind, because that only means that there's more for them."

"Ah, see, everybody wins!" Kira grins as the food finally begins to arrive. Since there's fifteen of us, we have to sit on separate tables, so all of us get served at different times.

We get served first, because salad doesn't take half an hour to make.

"Take that, meat-eaters!" Kira says loud enough for them to hear.

🌻

"Here you go, sir. Enjoy your meal!"

I thank the waitress, grabbing my knife and fork and eagerly digging into the steak. If I want to bulk up like all the guys here, I gotta eat lots of meat, right?

"Take that, meat-eaters!"

I turn to see who said that, but I can't tell as there are so many people here, and many of them look quite young. University students? I know that there's a university on the other side of the river. Imagine that, studying in Hawaii. That's gotta be cool.

My phone buzzes, and I expect it to be from Yoongi, asking me some sarcastic question, but I'm surprised (and also not surprised) to see that it's Taehyung.

Hyung what are you doing

I chuckle. I can picture him saying this, with the gentle way he prods you, talking in pout when he is bored. How many times he has sat next to me at the library, restless with his own work, so he would ask me questions, or just talk overall.

I'm eating something very delicious ;P

I send him a picture of the food, and he replies.

Ah now I'm hungry but I can't eat because I'm in class ☹

I don't know why, but I laugh aloud, covering my mouth immediately. Tae, if you're in class, don't text me. Silly :P

Okay hyung sorry it's just very boring...send me more pics later yeah?

I smile. I will! ^^

🌻

"Will you come to the bathroom with me? Please?" Kara tugs my arm, and I nod, standing up.

"Of course. I need to go too, you know."

"Wow, friendship goals!" Kira exclaims sarcastically, and we laugh as we gather our stuff. The rest of our class are still eating, so we have a little extra time on our hands.

I lead the way, weaving through the tables to the bathroom, which is located behind a corner. Unfortunately, I don't have any warning about what's beyond that corner, and that's why when someone emerges from it, so suddenly and out of the blue, I have no choice but to slam into them.

I see stars, a tooth necklace and sunglasses. I see honey-coloured skin, a button nose and dimples.

I see –

🌻

Her.

  🌻  

I dunno if anyone noticed, but I changed Hwarin's study from archaeology to marine biology just cause I wanted to link it more to the ocean and, well, crabs uwu

anyways, since it's the new year soon, I hope you all have a happy new year and a blessful 2019 😊