Sometimes you just need to talk. Or write, but then you just end up talking to yourself, so forget that. When you can talk to a person who won't judge you for what you're saying, and will just listen and try and understand, then you feel like something big has been released off your shoulders. Now, I'm not talking about a psychiatrist. I'm talking about someone who will just listen. Someone you can tell everything to. Your secrets, your dreams, your fears, your hopes, your ideas. Someone who you can just pour everything out to and they will just listen. Then it's like you have nothing holding you back. I know that sounds corny but I mean it.

For example: When I was little, I was visiting my cousins. We were playing with Lego's in their room, and an important piece fell down into the vent that was on the floor. (Before this my mom and aunt had been calling us all out one by one for a snack.) My cousin asked me to go get my McDonald's toy that I had gotten a couple days ago that had a light in it so we could see where the Lego was. When I got up to go get it, my mom came to the door and told me it was my turn for a snack. I told my cousins I would be right back, and went out to eat. Mom told me I got 10 gram cracker 8ths to dip in some chocolate frosting. I was in a hurry cos I wanted to help my cousins, so I asked for only 5. After I was done eating, I ran to get my toy and then went back in the bedroom, only to find that they had already gotten the piece. I immediately ran back out into the kitchen to ask for 5 more gram crackers, but it was all put away. I remembered that for years and I regretted not just taking the 10 in the first place, as stupid as it sounds. I never really got over it until I told a friend almost 4 years after it happened.

You see what I mean? I held on to that stupid memory for some reason and I had regret until I told someone. Because I never told anyone that before, not even my parents. I don't know why I didn't, and I never will, but it felt awesome when I told someone. I don't know if this is just how my mind works or not, but it is. And I'm sure that everyone has at least one thing they regret that they really don't need to.

I don't know why I'm doing this. Probably cos I don't have anyone to tell everything to. I haven't made any friends close enough. I think the only one I would be able to is whoever I end up getting married to, cos then they'd be stuck with me and my insanity. Yep. I'm complaining about my insanity.