hey loves💞

—💓thank you so so so much for reading this book:) i'm so glad you've gotten this far and still continue to support me, you're honestly the kindest, sweetest, most beautiful person. i hope the world blesses you w everything sweet it has to offer, you're an angel and ilysm

—🌹Jonghyun and Jisung....
i didn't mean for their deaths to be the same, but i wanted Jisung's death to be common, unexpected, and realistic (not smth wack like overdose on cheese)
i'm sorry if i stuck a painful nerve in anyone w it being the same as Jonghyun's, please just know that they were in entirely different contexts (carbon monoxide for Jisung was due to the car)
Jonghyun is a gorgeous angel now, resting in a place as lovely as him🌹

—🌚i deeply apologize if anyone felt some of the jokes in this story were offensive. any joke i wrote was, obviously, just that (a joke, purely for humour), but if you did find it offensive i'm very sorry

—🐸"why didn't you write a fluff ending?"

1. i am satan:)

2. (ooooof tea) fluff makes me puke.

2a. hEAR ME OUT i'm completely gucci w fluff scenes or chapters, 10/10 they're great, BUT (ooooooooooooof tea), unless executed flawlessly, i
h a t e
(stan 4minute)
(oh wait they're fucking disbanded)
(anyway)
i hate fluff endings.
yes, they're the happy, satisfactory, perfect resolution we all want, but that's exactly the thing. they're the happy, gEneric ending and it's too boring of a conclusion imo unless the author is hella talented (which i'm not, obv).

2b. although i can read fluff endings (only if done flawlessly), i can't write them for shit.
again, they're just too boring for me and the most anticlimactic way to end a book, iM SORRY DONT HATE ME. i'm a slut for angst so ofc i'll write that instead of a fluff ending

2c. tbh, this ending is the fluffiest one i've done so yOURE WELCOME uwu💞

—😔"why didn't you tag this story properly?" (i tagged angst, but never character death specifically) and "why did u reference/defend mamamoo and wendy and say they're not problematic" and "why are there typos"

(i just included this section in july 2021 bc i still get emails when ppl comment, and ppl commented abt these recently soo imma address it now)

please keep in mind that i wrote this in mf 2018, when i was like 13 or 14 or smth, and i only ever come back to edit small spelling/grammatical errors or smth. anyway, the world in 2018 was MUCH different than it is now.

i wrote this story as i went along - i didn't have a detailed plotline, and i actually didn't originally plan for there to be character death, but i wrote it in bc why not, it felt right. 

anyways, lots of my stories (which again, i wrote in 2018) have character death, and i never tagged them as such, i just included "angst". i felt like including a tag would spoil the book and make the death less impactful for readers. i personally love when a story can unexpectedly  rip out my heart and tear it to pieces LOL bc i LOVE reading angst and breaking my own heart. im so quirky and not like other girls

i understand now tho that specific tags are valuable bc certain things can be v sensitive topics so i'll add a tag to the story 

AS FOR MAMAMOO/WENDY, again, i wrote this in 2018 when i was 13/14. i think they (mamamoo at least) have done more problematic things since then rip. i was also immature back then and didn't understand the full impact their problematic actions can have. i also understand now that it's not my place to decide whether they deserve to be forgiven for what they've done. 

i aint gonna go back and edit those parts out tho, bc as much as i hate all the dialogue of this entire story lmfao, this book is reflective of what 2018 was like (for me at least), and imalsoworkingonarewrite so i wanna put my energy into that rather than cleaning up dialogue here. 

so please don't take those opinions seriously. please don't take like 95% of this book seriously.

finally, there r typos bc even tho i triple-read each chap before publishing, i still cant fucking read or spell, sorry shawties <3

—💩OK SO CONFESSION

(more tea)

(i edited this section april 2021 bc the original stuff i wrote was VERY aggressively self-deprecating i had no chill💀)

i'm unhappy with this story.

ever since the 7th (sense) (that song's a bop we stan kings) (anyway) chapter, i've been unimpressed with every chap i've released. mainly bc i never properly planned this story and wrote it on a whim so that's on me but anyway--

the plot is all over the place, disorganized and developed poorly. i'm either rushing through things or taking a frustratingly long time. i add in random stuff for drama but it's just useless + unnecessary.

i haven't developed the characters v well either, they're inconsistent, unrealistic, and unrelatable. they have a collective personality, but barely individual ones, so it's hard to pick a fav or get attached to a specific one oops.

i'm also lowkey trying too hard for humour. again, it's inconsistent, all over the place, too many references at once, and makes no sense, yet is also the same boring thing each chap.

my writing style is also kinda repetitive and unexciting, i can't properly explain or describe things. i use fancy words + phrases to make it sound "sophisticated and cool" but i feel like i use an excess. it's recommended to get straight to the point and use adjectives sparingly but i uh doNt LMAO. i try but can't write action or description or dialogue or exposition v well mb.

don't even get me started on how unrealistic this story is. i tried to touch on certain issues, emotions, and life in general to connect w the reader on a deeper, more complex, emotional, even philosophical level, but i don't think i succeeded v well.

in conclusion, my story is the first "novel" i've written (its fanfiction so it lowkey doesn't count-- aNyway) but it's kinda ass LMAO. im proud but also not— it makes no sense, n it's dry and underdeveloped. kinda disappointed in myself.

i'm sorry to my beautiful readers for having to suffer reading through it, God bless your kind souls and i thank you so much for reading this.

don't get me wrong, i love how supportive you guys are and how you (i think) seem to like my story, your votes and reads and comments and follows and messages mean the world and more to me💓 since the 7th chap you guys have kept me motivated enough to write✨

but this story is Not It i'm sorry. i'll do better next time, i promise.

anyway, i love you so much, thank you for staying this far and killing your brain cells reading this LMFAO

i won't disappoint next time.

—☀️i'm so sorry for all that negativity :(( but it was smth i had to get off my chest

—💦w that being said, i might do a book 2. buT it'll be completely different, a different genre, more textfic than narrative, and more characters

tbh the only thing that'll make it a "book 2" is that it takes place during the dreamies in their first year of uni, and jisung is still gone

but that would be pre far from now

—🍆lastly, i have a new book out!! it's jaeno/nomin again bc i stan and im a hoe, and it's called "crimson"

plotline is basically:
"oWo🤣🤪 what happens when jaemin is a heartbreaker💔😔, jeno is a murderer💀🔪🤠, they are other's victim😈😱😱🤭, but they start falling in love🌚💘💓💓😭"

yeah it's gonna be whack and pretty different than this story, but i mean who doesn't love murder hahaha satan is my dad

—ily💖