[ cнapтer тнιrтy-one ➛ ѕтarт ]

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"Just fuck him! If you're self-conscious 'bout your dick, don't worry, he doesn't have one either."

"Preach. If Jungwoo can seriously let himself get fucked by Lucas who's a dumber, louder, blonder basic bitch than Chenle, Chenle will 69/21 percent love you back."

"Also, Wendy's has a Wattpad account and they write legit fanfiction. The sooner you confess, the sooner you can start focusing on what really matters — getting Wendy's to beat BTS at the next Billboard Awards. And then become president to make Obama proud."

"Wendy's is God, they can shine on me or drown me in the deep-fryer and I'd be honored, they have set performances worldwide for whole ass days where if you ain't broke they give you food, and they put McDonald's ass in its peasant place on Twitter. Go follow, stan, vote, and stream, they're honestly so slept on."

Jisung groaned from the barrage of 'advice', scrunching his nose and burying his head in his arms while Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin watched with sympathy etched on their faces. The four were at Jaemin's house, sprawled out in the cherry blossom-haired boy's room and telling the youngest what to do about his helpless crush.

Few days after graduation, students fully unpacked and unwinded, relaxing in their first days of summer. Jeno and Jaemin, much to the relief of their mothers, lived civilly and fell asleep on Jaemin's bed every night, TV still playing whatever Netflix movie they'd been watching.

Jaemin's mother was all the Dreamies' favorite — kind, loving, and fully accepting of their behavior and sexualities. Mrs. Lee was the same, but because she was always preoccupied with or away at work, the Dreamies didn't know her as well.

Whenever any of the friends had any issues going on at home, they knew they could rely on Jaemin's mother and house. And so there the four boys were, counseling Jisung on his problems.

"Renjun," the poor boy suddenly called, lifting his head and looking curiously at the eldest, "why'd you date Chenle if you're telling me to tap his ass now?"

Curling his lips into a smirk, Renjun replied, "We were tryna get someone he liked jealous. It failed, but E- for effort. And E+ for exorcisms."

"Get who jealous?!"

The Chinese boy rolled his eyes. "You know who — not Voldesnort.  You even know their dick size."

"Uhm..." Jisung hummed in thought. "Ooh! Obama! We stayed up texting one night 'bout how lesbian we are for him. It was heartbreaking when he left his boy group 'Fuck Yeah Yeehaw Murica'. Donald's visuals are nowhere near the superiority of Obama's, plus his Cheeto lookin' ass crushed dreams of Murica becoming co-ed. My bitch Hillary coulda joined she was cut last minute 'cause she didn't have a dick. Murica's got a fucked up, sexist Produce 101 system."

"Imagine life if we never constantly talked about dicks," Jeno cut in to ponder, automatically looking in Jaemin's direction, the younger nodding in awe.

"Chinlee doesn't like me like he likes Obama," the orange-haired pouted, voice quiet.

Annoyed, Renjun smacked him. "You bimbo, bam-boozled, balsamic butt-fucked anti-vaxxer. Be hot, young, freaky, and screaming go. Be superstar cannibal Papa Labeouf, just fucking do it. Shoot for the stars — Chenle — and if you miss, you suck, he swallows. Go for it, grind it in everything and everyone you do, unless it won't end in a Hellevator takin' you straight-- sorry, gay, to demons. In the end, 100% of people who don't pussy up and ask out the love of their insignificant lives die, a fact that doesn't need to be backed up by meth. Tell him--"

"100% of people who date Chenle also die," Jisung interrupted, shrugging at Renjun's glare.

"You're the psycho murderer, not him-- ugh, you know what, just shut up and get that dick before your audition, at least."

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Jisung and Renjun had to go, leaving the other two in the Jaemin's room, the latter on his phone while Jeno practiced guitar.

Since they arrived home from the beach on graduation day, Jaemin non-stop texted his new friend who's name Jeno couldn't give half a shit about. Any second of the day, if not talking to anyone else, it was guaranteed to catch Jaemin smiling or rapidly typing to his friend.

To the older, it was unbelievable. Amazing that a friendship could grow to such magnitude in only a week, but irritating.

Every time Jaemin turned on the device and let out a snort or golden smile, something flared in Jeno. A pang to the heart that set off a fire in his gut, unpleasant and raging.

Jeno couldn't understand why he felt so angry. The younger had become something of a best friend to him, and though the two still acted hatefully, words and actions were no longer laced with true venom.

Despite their close bond, the brunette wasn't the type to get easily worked up or jealous over little things. He liked to pride himself on his stoicism, able to cruise through life from a logical and chill standpoint rather than sensitive and emotional.

So why could Jaemin fire him up so effortlessly?

Just then, the said male chuckled at his phone for the nth time since Jisung and Renjun left.

The sound instantly stimulated Jeno, setting off an intense blaze in his body. One of his fingers slipped on his guitar neck, calming melody ruined as an ugly pluck resonated from the strings. Exasperated, Jeno set the instrument aside, leaning it beside him against the bed as he held his head in his arms while staring at the floor.

"You high?" the pink haired asked, looking up.

Jeno shook his head.

Blinking, Jaemin shrugged and returned his attention to his phone, assuming Jeno's actions were due to messing up on guitar. But he turned back when the brunette lifted his head and asked dully, "Do you like your new dude? As a crush?"

Jaemin raised his eyebrows, intrigued. "My 'new dude' has a name."

"Salami girl too."

"I dunno," the younger finally answered. "He's cute, boyfriend and daddy material, a whole ass buffet."

Jeno rolled his eyes.

"Uhm." Jaemin paused for a while. He'd truthfully never thought about the idea before. Talking to his new friend was entertaining and made him happy. At the same time, he never considered feeling something romantic towards the new boy, caught up thinking about someone else. "I, uhm, dunno."

"Intellectual."

About to snap back snidely, Jaemin stopped himself upon noticing how emotionless Jeno seemed. Was the older, perhaps, jealous? The theory made sense, especially that Jaemin and Jeno had recently become tight, except the later wouldn't feel so strongly about something so childish.

Whatever the case, acknowledgment of it made Jaemin blurt out, "I won't date him anyway."

Jeno looked quizzically.

"He's moving to Europe," the pink-haired explained, "There's a program there, I dunno, I didn't read when he sent links. But he's not doing what I'd do for post-secondary shit, and I don't do long-distance, so even if I liked him I wouldn't want some official label."

A small smile slid on Jeno's face, freeing the younger's feelings of apprehension.

"Why do you care?" Jaemin asked slyly, throwing a coy wink. "Everyone thinks my dick fits cutely in your asshole, but we're not actually dating, so why you jealous?"

"Juan," Jeno counted on his slender fingers, "I top, the only asshole's asshole being penetrated is yours, doesn't matter how confidently gay you are, you're a submissive bottom. Second, as a strong, independent, large-chested female, I have rights, I can feel jealous towards whomever, whenever I want. Third, fuck you, I don't wanna date you."

At that last comment, the younger unexplainably felt his heart weigh down slightly in his chest, but he smiled triumphantly instead. "You said you'd fuck me, don't act like you ain't thirsty for this ass."

"Only if you don't act like you ain't horny for my dick."

"Wow, we're actually flirting?"

"What can I say-- except 'you're welcome'?" Jeno shrugged smugly, expression resembling Min Yoongi's when the idol stated the truth about how he was a genius. "But for real, I rate you a 69 out of 1. I kinda like you, you're an above-average homie-sexual."

"Throwback to last summer when I genuinely hoped you'd fall off the roof into a pool of Lego."

"Throwback to last summer when you were genuinely secretly in love with me and wrote smut Jaeno fan fiction but disguised your me-fetish as hatred."

"Bitch--" Jaemin was prepared to throw hands when he remembered he was too lazy, so he relaxed his fists. "Not gon lie, I thought you were hot and glowed up, but I still hated you too much to write famous Wattpad fan fiction. I would've preferred to watch you be shoved in the deepest dankest moistest crevices in hell."

"Wow, a fetish for me, a fanfiction author, and a hell kink, I'm blessed to have you that whipped." Jeno grinned, showing off his pure eye smile. "And I was being honest when I said you didn't look as shitty as when you were a fetus. I'm sorry for being an ass last summer and back in Korea."

"I'm sorry too. I started — restarted — it when I flashed my sexy middle finger."

"Hoe."

"You replaced my private lube with Siracha, you're the hoe."

Jeno stayed silent, lips pressed into a thin line to avoid releasing loud laughter, when he suddenly asked, "Just to clarify, you don't like 'new dude'?"

"Uhm," the other pursed his lips. "Dunno. I'll never date him though, I'll stay loyal to my wife Jen-hoe."

"Awwh, babe~ you better stay fucking loyal, Gay-min, or I'll dick your cute ass down and punish you."

"Wow, a fetish for my ass, a hella hot model, and the Asian Christian Grey, I'm blessed to have you that whipped instead of my 'new dude'."

However, for the rest of July, Jeno was under a storm cloud of gloom. He was living it up, worry-free for he already got accepted into the performing arts department of a prestigious university. Even so, Jaemin was constantly texting and meeting up with his new friend, increasingly lowering Jeno's overall mood.

He should probably confess.

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[ cнapтer тнιrтy-one ➛ end ]

[a/n]: i hope cube dies:)

on a legal note, i remember the mesolithic era when i had 50 views and now im 50k+ and 5k votes, im cRYiNg iN mY bAthTUb:::)))) my updates are so slow now and this book is such a mess, why do y'all even read this work of shit???? i love you so so so much, you're so cute<3

shoutout to wewriteshite bc i love her and she introduced me to a liTass nct ig meme page bless the queen

and yes wendys is legit, buy their albums and give them all your sarang and salami pls uwu:')

have a wonderful week loves :*