[ cнapтer тwenтy-ѕeven ➛ ѕтarт ]

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Donghyuck whispered from his side of the room, his voice clearly audible in the quiet of the night, "Will you let me be Daddy Phil and tell me all your deepest life problems now?"

"No, ask Mark if you wanna roleplay. And aren't you Satan?"

"Are they not the same person? Now tell me 'bout your mid-life crisis."

"Thotty-yell Ravioli is quaking, and bitch how is it a mid-life crisis? I'm hot and young, I ain't dying anytime soon."

"Not if I have anything to do about it."

Eery silence.

Then Donghyuck asked brightly, "So, tell me what's wrong!"

Jaemin sat back up, letting the covers fall off him as he leaned against the wall. "It's just-- like-- I dunno."

Donghyuck sat up as well and switched on the lamp at his bedside table, the light illuminating Jaemin's worried expression. "What kind of problem is it? A fight with some hoe? School's being a hoe? Did your hoe-ass realize that your dick really is the smallest thing ever?"

"Oh my fuck-- you just wait until the day my sex tape and nudes get leaked and you can see how mighty and strong my dick is, better than all its haters, you'll regret being so cruel."

"It'll be a tiny lil' nut, how cute. Oooh, hey wait, maybe you're in love?"

The older spoke the question jokingly, but it stuck in Jaemin's mind. "How 'bout no. But it's about Jeno."

"So you are in love, fucking snake," Donghyuck muttered, his voice louder when he asked, "What happened?"

Biting his bottom lip, Jaemin rested his head back. He could barely comprehend anything himself, and he didn't want to confess to his best friend that he kissed his supposed enemy. And he was unsure of what he felt. He didn't know if he still hated Jeno, and the kiss was just his hormones reacting and firing up. Or maybe he felt something different now, and his enjoyment of the kiss had no relation to puberty and was instead because of what he thought in his mind.

Whatever it was, it made his situation confusing as hell. The poor boy was never one to get involved in drama, and he's had his relationships before, but had never felt so emotionally and mentally invested them. Why was all this happening now? And with Lee fucking Jeno of all people?

"I just need time away from his ass," Jaemin said. "I'm allergic to ugly, and he's ugly."

"Well after tonight, you gotta yeet back to him." Donghyuck was suspicious but didn't want to pry too deep into his friend's problem. He trusted that Jaemin would tell him on his own time when he was ready and it wasn't too late. "Mark's coming back tomorrow and if you're still in my room I'll shove you inside Jeno's asshole 'cause I need my privacy with Mark before he leaves forever."

Jaemin scrunched his nose, misinterpreting the comment about Jeno's asshole.

"If this is because you and Jeno fucked, and he topped you, don't be sad because you were born to be more of a sub than me," Donghyuck advised. "Grow some balls and man up, solve your stupid drama with Jeno so he can top you again. And maybe become friends so hanging out with you two isn't the most annoying shit that makes me lose my will for murder."

Rolling his eyes, Jaemin picked up one of Mark's many pillows and chucked it at his friend, hitting his target perfectly in the head.

"I wanna choke on his dick, not his pillows!" was the muffled shout.

And soon enough, the room was a mess, assortments of pillows scattered all over the floor and beds, sheets and blankets and duvets messed up. The room reflected even more chaos than before, but it was so worth it because both boys were smiling widely as they cleaned up, shoving each other and laughing.

By the time they settled in again, it was almost 1 AM, and Donghyuck murmured in a soft, tired voice, "'Night, Nana, hope the bed bugs bite and you die."

"Don't call me that stupid nickname," Jaemin snapped jokingly, still grinning brightly as he snuggled further into the covers. "And remember to use a condom when Mark gets back, he doesn't want your diseases as a 'welcome back' gift."

"Shut the fuck up!" Donghyuck whined, chucking a pillow to Jaemin, which the latter lazily tossed back. "And I bottom, I'm not giving him disease through my thicc ass cheeks--"

"Congratulations on your marriage, I don't need to hear more of your dry ass sex life," Jaemin laughed as he cut off his friend.

"Not everyone's privileged enough to have one as wet as yours and Jeno's."

"I--" Jaemin almost choked on air, "Ew! Sh-shut the fuck up, focus on Mork. And don't be too loud with him, I don't wanna hear you screaming kinky shit when I'm tryna sleep, I only like to hear the screams of the children I murder."

"Back off, that's my job, you're just a peasant and I'm the King of Hell and Assholes. Also, you live on the other side of the floor!"

Jaemin laughed again. "Which I can still hear you screeching 'Daddy Mark' from."

"Distract yourself with 'Oppa Jeno' then, you're welcome for the life hack."

Donghyuck smiled evilly, while Jaemin was about to scream back.

"I'm not fucking him!"

"Obviously, I know that. He's fucking you."

"You really are King Asshole!"

"I prefer Daddy Satan. Good night, Nana!"

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Jaemin felt strange and was unable to put in words or describe how exactly he felt. The only word that came to mind was "heartache", but Jaemin believed that would be incorrect.

After Donghyuck kicking him out of his dorm straight away, the younger had collected his mess of a self and talked to Jeno, both of them agreeing to forget the kiss and carry on with their lives as usual. The following week was an average one, the two boys continuing to act on crack with each other, and soon enough, only two short weeks of school remained until high school was forever over for senior students.

Whistling, Jaemin sauntered down an empty hall in the school, ignoring curious glances from students peeking out of their classrooms. He was ditching class, yeheting his ass out of the room as soon as he heard they'd be studying something related to Sociology. Honestly, getting murdered by a sadistic Donghyuck sounded like a more pleasurable option.

The caramel-haired turned a corner, mind too distracted with thoughts on dyeing his hair and what color he should do to notice another student ditching class. Her eyes widened when she spotted the boy, and she called out to him, "Ayo, Jeno's wife!"

Only because he recognized the voice, Jaemin looked up and almost tripped when he saw Salami girl. "Whomst the fuck authorized you to use your vocal chords?"

She walked up to him and beamed, ignoring his cruel words. "How's parenting with Jeno? Do you get good fucks? Do you clap cheeks often? Is his dick longer than your head?"

Jaemin had to refrain himself from running to the glass window and breaking through it so he'd fall out of the building. He managed to kindly respond with, "We're not married, he couldn't fuck a Nutella jar if he tried, we never clap cheeks, and he has no dick."

"Oof," she muttered quietly, stunned by the information. "Did he cum inside your nose and you passed out, is that why y'all are having a fight?"

"I'm a top!" Jaemin snapped. "And no, he definitely didn't. He lied when he told you he's dating me, we're not even friends."

Salami girl screamed.

When she was finished after a solid two whole minutes, she collapsed on the ground, staring at the tiled floor in utter despair. Her hands were clutching her chest, knees bent and curled around her, tips of her long hair — which looked to be smoother and hold more shine than the last time Jaemin saw her — practically dusting the ground.

She looked up in bewilderment, a hint of betrayal in her eyes. "No, he's not lying! Y'all are dating, it's a fact, you can't just say you're dating and fake deny it, that's not how dating works, you stay together and only break up because you caught him fucking your mom when he had told you he was at his house jacking off to Swiper's feisty ass who's whipped for Dora's football-shaped head."

Scratching his head, Jaemin sheepishly said, "Boots is hotter. And I'm stating facts, we were never dating."

"Yeah, uhuh, sure okay then, totally not dating but your kiss was really fucking gay, homo to the max, fucking level 420,000 and beyond, sends all the hets to fatality. You're lucky no one videoed and leaked it or the police would cum suing and arresting and my Grandma would shove a cardboard cross in all your holes so the power of feminism could compel you."

Jaemin said nothing, causing Salami girl to stand up and brush herself off.

"Come with me. You gave me the bible for hair, Imma show you rad-ass DIY life hacks so that before you know it, Jeno will be pounding in your dickhole. Or asshole. Any hole. Preferably in your body."

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[ cнapтer тwenтy-ѕeven ➛ end ]

[a/n]: disappointing chap but thank you for 32k ncsdklcndkslnckalsnkjfdbvkbknknsk i really appreciate you guys and everything you do:')

and alsooooooo 17k on play date?!!??! 1k on petals?!?!!? 7k on alive??!?!?!?!??!?!?? gOd im so happy you guys actually like my shitty writing awwh<3