•Deceit•
•Angst•
•Would It Matter by Skillet•
•TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide•

~~~~~

If I wasn't here tomorrow
Would anybody care?
If my time was up
I'd wanna know
You were happy I was there

Deceit watched as the core sides joked around with Thomas. He saw Virgil happy, something he himself was never able to accomplish. He sighed and stayed out of the equation.

If I wasn't here tomorrow
Would anyone lose sleep?
If I wasn't hard and hollow
Then maybe you would miss me

A few tears followed down his cheeks but he refused to be caught crying over something so selfish. He returned to his appropriate place in the mindscape, away from the others. His "heart" hurt like someone broke it. They hated him and he knew it.

I know I'm a mess and I wanna be someone
Someone that I'd like better
I can never forget,
So don't remind me of it forever
(forever)

He shut the door to what he called his room and sat on his bed. His shoulders shook but no sound came out of the broken man. Instead, he hid behind a mask of lies.

What if I just pulled myself together
Would it matter at all?
What if I just tried not to remember
Would it matter at all?

He wiped away his tears and out on a smirk. He forced himself to appear in the living room with the others, even though their dirty looks hurt him badly. He could tell they didn't want him there.

All the chances that have passed me by
Would it matter if I gave it one more try?
Would it matter at all?

"What do you want Jack the Fibber?" Roman asked him annoyed. Deceit did his best not to look hurt.

"Just wanted to-" He cut himself off before he could say the truth. "I just love how I'm never included in anything." Not his best lie but jot his worst.

"That's because nobody wants you around. It would be a lot simpler if you just...didn't exist." Patton replied quietly. Deceit couldn't keep his mask up for long. Patton got him good.

"I can see that..." He mumbled.

If I wasn't here tomorrow would anybody care
Still stuck inside this sorrow
I got nothin' and going nowhere

He stood there quietly as the others ignored him, joking around with Thomas. He sighed and left without anyone noticing.
"Better off dead, huh? I'll just give then what they want..."

I know I'm a mess and I wanna be someone
Someone that I'd like better
I can never forget,
So don't remind me of it forever

He searched his room for something sharp but he couldn't find anything. His pet snake, Sanja, wasn't venomous so that wasn't an option. But he did have a gun...

What if I just pulled myself together?
Would it matter at all?
What if I just tried not to remember?
Would it matter at all?

He stared at the gun, a small cry escaped his lips as he shakily picked it up. He didn't want to alarm the others or think he's trying to guilt trip him, but he also didn't want to live in a world like this (WHEN LOVE COMES AROUND! OH OH OH WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT-oops, sorry. Backstreet Boys got me-).

All the chances that have passed me by
Would it matter if I gave it one more try?
Would it matter at all?

He thought about trying again. Just one last attempt at making them see he isn't the bad guy. But he decided it wasn't worth it. They hated him and didn't need him.

He raised the gun to his head...

I know I'm a mess and I want to be someone
Someone that I'd like better
Can you help me forget,
Don't wanna feel like this forever
(forever!)

His hand shook as he took shallow breaths, trying to stop the shaking and to keep silent.

His finger rested on the trigger...

What if I just pulled myself together
Would it matter at all?
What if I just tried not to remember?
Would it matter at all?
All the chances that have passed me by
Would it matter if I gave it one more try?

He pulled the trigger but it didn't work. He had forgotten to load it. Deceit scrambled to find the bullets as to load the gun. He found them in a drawer and loaded the gun.

He put the gun to his head...

If I left tomorrow would anybody care?
Stuck in this sorrow
Going nowhere!
All the chances that have passed me by
Would it matter if I gave it one more try?
Would it matter at all?

He pulled the trigger and a bang filled the room, echoing throughout the mindscape. He dropped to the floor dead.

A note in the band of his hat.