➵XXVI
IG DMs
arianagrande, shawnmendes
arianagrande
are u sure?
shawnmendes
100%
arianagrande
yk, its already 1:30 am
arianagrande
im worried ull get sleepy
and i cant help you to ur hotel then
shawnmendes
lol
shawnmendes
dw ive got this
shawnmendes
dont forget to take sumn warm with u
its freezing outside
arianagrande
if i get a cold istg...
shawnmendes
U WONT
shawnmendes
KNOW MOVE
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3rd POV
The buzzing streets of New York were wide awake despite it being around 2 in the morning. Temperatures had dropped below 0 a long time ago, but that honeslty didn't stop anyone from spending the night out.
Shawn crossed the street in two big strides, not wanting to keep Ari waiting. She had wrapped herself around a thick coat, her faced cover up till her nose to protect the brisky winds from messing up her voice cords.
"Have you been waiting for long?"
She nodded silently in response and the two of them started walking toward whatever location Shawn had chosen to attend. Ari had said she wanted to get her mind off of things and Shawn needed his anxiety to cool down, therefore he had proposed a walk in the night.
arianagrande
where are we going¿
Shawn looked up at her. A smile broke on his face as he adjusted his scarf to speak freely. She wasn't going to talk after all.
"Somewhere. You'll see soon."
arianagrande
is that somewhere near or far?
"If we walk fast enough, we'll reach the place within 10 minutes."
After what felt like an eternity, they found the place. A tall building laid in front of them. Most of it covered in glass. Shawn said his friend lived here, but he didn't make it quite clear what they came here for.
Grabbed her arm and he nudged her to follow him through the hall to the lift. As soon as they both were in, Shawn hit the last button and silence set as the metallic doors closed with a cracky noise.
He searched for her eyes and his lips curved slightly when he saw Ariana sending him curious glances.
They walked out of the lift and Shawn guided her once again through to some small stairs. He knew she didn't like the cold that much, but to his defence this was the only place where someone could simply relax without worrying about the others.
arianagrande
i feel like this is confession's night
Shawn didn't respond but opened the door at the top of the stairs instead. A loud crack and they both were met by the frosty breeze, cutting like ice. The wind wasn't troubling, but the strings of air going round and about however, were quite disturbing.
Even though it was below 0°C, that didn't stop Ari from smiling as her eyes landed on the beautiful landscape. Down there, cars were honking and people were just ants wandering around Manhattan.
Summerised this looked like the typical romatic date a couple would have.
But better.
To Shawn it seemed like the best place to get something off his chest.
Confession's night it was then.
He offered her a seat at the edge of the pavement and they both sat wordlessly, legs hanging down.
"You told me you needed to clear your mind. Honestly, I don't know shit about New York. But this is the only place I know to get something off your chest."
Shawn looked at her, his eyes worried, but Ariana just nodded in agreement.
"I'm guessing, you won't talk until I say something."
She nodded once again.
"Well, I've had panic attacks since I started doing shows. Every time I went up on stage, I felt everything blurring. My heart was out of control and I couldn't breathe. It was suffocating. The feeling. Maybe, it's just that fact that I started my carrier too early.
"I'm not sure what fans will think when I do something. What people will think when I so something. Will they like it? Will they like what I wrote? Will they like what I did? Will they like this? What if this? So many questions I don't know the answers to."
He suck in a deep breath before continuing:
"I don't know if what I do, will ever be enough. To satisfy others. One wrong step and it's over. Most of the time, I think I'm not doing enough for my fans. I'm not pushing myself. It gets crazy just when thinking about it. How we have to fight through shit to be able to breathe. It strucks me quite often while thinking about music. Tour. It's coming up and I don't wanna know what's happen."
One confession down.
"My parents divorced when I was little." She started. "I never understood it quite well back then. Too naïve to realize what was happening. But as time passed by, it hit me how my parents would never get back together. PTSD has been there since day one. I got used to it, after some time. We all do. It hurts too much for my liking sometimes, but that's the only way I have learned to deal with it. Live with it."
"As for the other shit. Pete...oh where do I start with him? Do I really wanna marry him? Do I really wanna be with him?! I'm losing people one by one and I don't think I'll be able to lose another one. People blame me for shit that happens and sometimes I wonder if it is really genuiely me who caused whatsoever. I pity that man. But I love him too. I guess...just not in the way I thought."
"It's been tough. Quite. With every day that passes, I push myself to give him another chance. Probably he'll fix his shit, probably I will find the never-ending love for him. The reason I keep him around is inexcusable. Really, stupid. I'm giving him my time and my love when honestly I know that's not the best thing to do. I'm not getting anything back. But I don't think I can go on with this bullshit anymore."
"You don't have to." Shawn said, his voice below a whisper. "You don't need to. Stop putting yourself through shit when you don't have to. You can't fix everything on this planet. Some things are better left untouched. You are not responsible for everything happening to people, so stop acting like gifting your attention to these problems will solve them."
"It just makes me feel better to-"
"It just makes up an excuse to avoid your own problems." Shawn said, facing her. "It's just your stupid excuse to get away from your own problems, 'cause you don't wanna face them. But it's not gonna make the situation any better. You better than anyone know it. Do something about it."
She looked at him longingly, her brown eyes searching for an answer, or better said, for the force to speak out those words which were stuck at the tip of her tongue.
Do something about it.
"I guess..." She began saying. "It's time to break up."
That night both of them had a good night's sleep.
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