So here is the much awaited Zain's POV!

Zain's PoV

Engagement?

The word has so much effect on me.

She is getting engaged with Shamz on this Sunday.

I didn't stay there for one more second to hear out the congratulations for her. If it was about she is going to Delhi to start the new chapter in her life, I would have surely stayed back. I am happy for her as much as she is. But it is not for that. It is for her getting engaged with Shamz. The way her aunties hugging her, how her cousins teasing her with Shamz, and how Bapuji planning her future with Shamz in his every sentence, I couldn't be there for one more second.

I felt disgusted at myself for losing her.

Yes, losing my Ayesha.

To that Shamz.

Earlier I didn't know. But now I know. What she is to me. How it feels to be in love. What this bond means to me.

I was feeling restless after Zehra Aapa's marriage is over. I didn't know the exact reason. I thought it is because we are leaving soon.

This place means so much to me. The place where I have born. All the people who were strangers for me once suddenly became close to me after we came back to India. My family. Leaving them was definitely going to be difficult for me. But there is something more than that I am gonna miss. Unfortunately that I couldn't even figure it out.

"Zain, your Baba is trying to book tickets for us. We should leave soon." Mom with no mercy always remembered me.

I had a feeling that I never belonged to here. I felt suffocated on the thought that soon we would leave India. On a promise that we would come back after sometime. But again days would pass and slowly we would get detached from all the memories. I didn't know why it was aching me. I was the last person on earth who would get attached with people so easily. But this time it was surely affecting me. My heart was paining at that thought.

The night of Zehra Aapa's marriage. I was strolling through the corridor worrying about my thoughts. Then I heard the familiar anklet sound. Unknowingly my lips curved into a smile.

"Who is that?" I asked.

"Definitely not me." I got the answer and my smile has increased.

I moved my hands towards the switchboard and suddenly the lights turned on to reveal her laughing face. A face that has sent much needed relief to my heart.

"Ayesha, what are you doing here at this night?" I asked moving closer to her.

"Hey, don't make noise. They would hear us."She held my hand and pulled me towards the other end of the hall.

"Who? What are you saying?" I asked confusingly.

She gestured me towards the nearby room and suddenly I realized its Zehra's Aapa's room.

"It's their first night."she said in a low tone.

First night? My thoughts stucked at that word and I immediately decided this is the time to annoy her. And may be tease her.

"So when would be your first night?" I asked without thinking much.

She looked at me with widened eyes. That's when I understood what did I even ask. But I decided to cover my own slip of tongue.

"Haven't you heard about that before?" I smirked.

If it was some other girl I would have been surely slapped by now. But with Ayesha I don't need to worry.

"Zain, I should go now." She was about to leave but I held her hand and pulled her back. She dashed with my chest.

"Stop. What's the hurry?" I asked and I could feel my heart beating fast at our proximity. This was happening most of the time she comes closer to me.

"I want to sleep."she replied without looking at me.

"Would you sleep on your first night?" I asked. She was amazed at my question. I saw her gulping down.

"Why do you want to know?"she asked with her eyes fixed on the ceiling.

"Because I want to make sure that your husband keeps on watching this beauty for the rest of the night."

She closed her eyes blushing.

"I must say he is a lucky man"

She was about to say something when I again said. "Indeed he is really lucky to have you."

I was making it awkward for her. But with her I don't need a filter. I knew that. When I return back, I would miss her.

"Zain... Let me go." She pleaded. But I was not in a mood to leave her.

"Ok. First of all tell me. When are you getting married? You would invite me for your marriage?"I asked.

"I may." She said looking at somewhere else.

"May? Are you not sure about that too? So you are not even seeing a best friend in me. That was so cruel and I didn't expect this from you Ayesha."I was shocked.

"Zain, would you remember me after you return back to your life?"she asked.

"Yes. For sure. I am not going to forget you."I replied confidently.

"No Zain. When you go back to your normal life, you may remember me for some days. Then you slowly start forgetting me. After 3 or 4 months, we would again be strangers. Forget about being best friends, you may never remember you have a cousin named Ayesha living in India."

Her words had such an effect that my eyes started watering. Usually I am not the person who is afraid of goodbyes. But the thought of forgetting her making me mad.

Is she saying truth?

But how can I forget her?

That's next to impossible.

"But that is for good. Right Zain? At some point in life we should start forgetting people. We can't live holding onto memories. It would hurt us. So the ability to forget is also a boon. Especially when there is no chance of meeting again."she said and this time I could feel her crying too.

"Ayesha, who told you that we would not meet again?" I asked.

"Who told you that I would be here when you come back?"she asked back. "Either I would be someone else's wife and living in his house, or would be at some other place working."

Someone else's wife?

She is going to be someone else's wife and then I would never have this right on her. I can never laugh with her, I can never tease her.

She is going to be someone else's.

I came back from my thoughts when I felt her waving her hands infront of my face.

"Zain, what are you thinking?"

"No Ayesha. I would come back for sure and we would meet again. This bond wouldn't break. I promise."I said more to myself.

"Life has to go on Zain. There is no point in holding back to people when they means nothing."

"Did you say you mean nothing for me?"I am literally mad this time. "You have no idea how much I feel restless on the thought of leaving this place. Leaving you."

"Leaving me?" She asked raising her eyebrows and I stood like a statue. I felt an electric current passing through my body.

"Are you sure?"she asked again.

Earlier I was not sure what was bothering me. What was I gonna miss that threw me into this state. What was pulling me from inside. But now I am sure. Her. She is the one whom I am gonna miss the most. I would miss everything about her. How she is someone who didnt try to judge me till now. How she supports me everytime. How she is a good listener for all my nuisance talks. With her I never felt bored. I have so many friends. But I never had a special friend like her. I don't know what she is to me. But all these days it was her who tied me here. Every day when I wake up from sleep, it was her whom I search first. I enjoyed spending time with her.

All this because she is nothing to me?

"Ayesha, are you coming with me?"I asked unknowingly. At that instant I didn't have anything else to ask for.

"Where?"

"To London."

"And what would I do there?"she again asked.

"You can do anything you want to."I replied.

"And what about my dreams?"

I had no answer to this question.

She is right. She cannot come with me. There is nothing that binds us enough for her to sacrifice her dreams for me.

"Good night Zain. Have some sweet dreams." She smiled that reached my heart and with that she walked back to her room.

Gifting me a sleepless night!

I had no idea about what this girl is doing to me. The day onwards when we got locked in the store room I was very much attached with her. For reasons unknown to me. She is intelligent and sensitive. I was always protective around her. I wanted to cherish more of our bond. But then this is the time for separation leaving me a void behind. Her every word filled my mind and sleep was long forgotten.

I had asked her the same question earlier too, that whether she is willing to come with me. But that time it was for fun. But today I meant it. If she had said yes to me, I would have surely take her with me. But as what? There is no bond between us that ties us together forever.

Next day I took her to the hospital for her check up. I don't know why I am doing all this for her. I didn't even do all kinda favors for my sister too. Then we celebrated her university rank. I was very happy during the function. But something inside me asking the same question that she asked previous day. I tried to keep myself away from her to know if that affects me. For my surprise it did. I tried to convey her that I am not very happy with this return trip. But she didnt understand. She thought that I am eager to go back to my country. She was busy the whole day after that. When I got her alone for sometime I tried to talk about my worries, but she immediately ran away to meet her mother.

"Zain, my boy. What is happening with you?" I saw my mom worrying about me.

"Nothing mom. Why did you ask?" I made her sit on the bed and laid down in her lap.

"I can see you worrying about something."she replied.

"I don't know mom. I am feeling restless."I said honestly.

"Is that about our return trip?"she asked.

"May be. I have a feeling that I am gonna lose something."

"Is that Ayesha?"she asked making me shock.
"Do you love her?"

I was dumbfounded with that question.

I love her?

I jumped up from her lap and ran away to the garden. Her question threw me into a dilemma.

Hours I spent at the garden thinking about the same. All these while I was trying to find out what she means to me. But suddenly it has got a new dimension. Do I love her? If it was another day I would have said no instantly. But now I feels confused. If I don't, why this sudden change in me. Why I am always thinking about her? Why does it matter to me whether I am seeing her again or not. I pulled my own hair thinking about all this. Only she can answer on all this happening around me. I mentally made a note to talk with her regarding this.

I was walking back to my room when I heard some noise near the terrace area. I initially hesitated but then decided to look what's there. Without anyone noticing me, I quickly took a glance over the sight there. Then I froze on the spot. I wish I never looked there. I should have went back to the room straightway.

There I saw Ayesha in Shamz's arms. She was hugging him tight and he was holding her like he hold onto the most precious thing of his life. I was dumbfounded.

Was there something going on between them?

But she didnt tell me.

Suddenly I felt betrayed eventhough she is not responsible for informing me. I tried to forget what did I saw there. May be it is just a friendly hug. Even I hugged her many times like this. But is true that I lost all my peace. I wanted to quickly reach my room and hide somewhere from this world. But then nothing was easy for me that night.

Bapuji stood infront of me blocking my way.

"Zain, are you not sleeping? Why are you wandering here and there?"he asked me.

I had no answer. Still I tried to cover up with a lie.
"Bapuji, I forgot something in the terrace and went to take that."

"Oh. Then you go and sleep now."he advised me.

"Yes. But why are you not sleeping?"I asked seeing him little tensed. Usually he sleeps early as he have some medicines to have.

"I don't know Zain. I couldn't sleep today." He replied in a low tone.

"May I know why?"

"I was just worried."

"Worried about what?"

"About Ayesha."he said making me confused.

Wow. Its not only me. Everyone is thinking about her.

"Zain, we are thinking about getting her married." I was shocked again.

"But she has just completed her studies only. I don't think she would be ready for a marriage."I said what I know about her.

"Her mama already discussed this with her. I hope she would agree this time. Atleast for her mother. I sincerely wish."he said worrying me all of a sudden.

"But Bapuji..I don't think she..."

"Zain, there is nothing to worry about this. She already know him. He knows her."

And with that I didn't want to know more. It is Shamz.

"Ok Bapuji. Good night." I escaped from there without asking anything more.

Whatever I guessed was not right. She loves Shamz. They are getting married. I wish I never seen her. She has given me some good memories such that it is very difficult to forget her. Now she is going to be someone else's.

Wait.

Why am I worrying?

Do I love her?

Not at all.

I tried to teach my own heart that I didn't love her.

Next day she messaged me asking to visit Maaji's place. It took me some time to reply back. I know she has something to tell me. This outing is just a cover up. She wants to tell me she is getting married with Shamz and may be I should stay back till her wedding. I would never. But I decided to go with her to Maaji's place.

When I came downstairs she was waiting for me in her most elegant avatar. I always noticed that she has such an effect on me. I used to notice even the little things of her. I pretended to be unaware and just gestured her to follow me in the car. The journey was all silent. But my mind was in a big battle with my heart. Then I realized I am becoming too much harsh on her. I wanted to spend our last days beautifully. So I parked the car near an hillside so that we can talk.

"When are you going back?" She asked me.

Is she eager to send me back or is she trying to block me?

"It may take one more week. Baba is trying to arrange tickets for us. But you know this is season." I told as casual as I can. I didn't want her to know that she is affecting me.

"Zain, I have something to tell you. It's very important for me" she spoke gaining my attention.

I looked at her enthusiastically.

"Mama is getting me married. But I...."

That's it. She is here to inform me that she and Shamz are getting married. Why should I bother? I didn't let her complete.

"Wow...that's a great news. Indeed a big news."I tried to hug her but stopped realizing she doesn't belong to me now.

"But Zain..."

"Ayesha, I am really happy for you. You certainly need someone by your side. He would help you accomplish all your dreams. You deserve only the best."

I only wanted to close this chapter as soon as possible. She can marry anyone of her choice and I can return back to my London life. I was never her choice. I felt regret but its too late to think about that.

"Zain, do you love me?" She asked suddenly and I was shocked beyond limit.

I didn't know that she has guts to ask me this directly.

It took me sometime for processing what I heard.
I know either she is making fun of me or she is planning something. I decided to play along. I smiled at her.

"What makes you think that I don't?"I tried to be calm. "Definitely. I care for you. You are the only friend I have."

I didn't want her to know that I have feelings for her especially when she is getting married to Shamz soon. But I saw her face changing.

"That....I thought.... Mama wants me to get married soon. But then Shamz told me that you may have feelings for me. I wanted to tell you that..."

What the hell?

Did Shamz tell her that I have feelings for her?

And even if I admit my feelings now, nothing is gonna change. They both would get married and I would become a clown between them. That would hurt my ego. I can't let that happen. I can't admit that Shamz won over me. And I lost Ayesha to him. I would make it look like I never had anything special with her. It was them misunderstanding me.

I suddenly started laughing to change the atmosphere.

"How small brain you have Ayesha? You think that I loves you?" I asked without thinking.

"But why do you then behaved so close to me? You always says that I am precious.  Right?"

"That doesnt mean I am in love with you. What do you think? I may be the only one close to you. But for me you are not the only girl whom I knows. I behaves same with everyone. And I can't love everyone of all." I said much to my own disbelief.

Her face lost all the colors. It was then I did understand how cruel I was. Why should I speak her like this? She is the same Ayesha with whom I shares an unbreakable bond.

Wait... Why did she ask me this? Is she trying to know whether I feels different for her because she also feels the same?

"Ayesha, may I ask you why did you ask me this now? You are all ready to marry with..."

That's it. Marry with Shamz. She didn't let me complete that.

"I am sorry. I thought Shamz was right and it is my duty to clear it. Leave it. Let's go."

She gave me answer for all my doubts. She was all happy marrying Shamz. But then Shamz had a  doubt that I may have feelings for her. He asked her to clear that. And she did.

This is the end of us. I am going back soon. If possible the very next day tickets are available.

We returned back to home and both of us didn't talk much. I told her that she is one among all the girls I know. I behaves same with everyone. That was a lie. I guess it hurted her. After that she didn't talk with me. I felt disgusted at my behavior. It hurted me as much as it hurted her.

Soon I heard Ayesha's marriage becoming a topic for serious discussion among family members. And I saw her many times with Shamz. I decided to hide somewhere so that my lately realized feelings for her would not hurt me. I straightaway went to Delhi where some of my friends living. I didn't inform her as I thought she would be nomore interested in knowing about my whereabouts.

Few days later when I came back, the house has already became a soon to be wedding venue. I saw how excited Bapuji and Meharban aunty for  this marriage. I felt envious of Shamz for the infinite time. He is indeed a lucky guy. I had heard from Sana and Hiba how Shamz has declared his love for Ayesha infront of the whole family heroically. I thanked my stars that I was not here to witness that.

But Ayesha was behaving so different with me. I tried to make situations so that I can congratulate her. But she behaved as if I am not existing. Then we went to shopping one day and that was the time I could finally talk with her. But she talked rude with me. For the first time. It hurted me. Destroyed my existence. I didn't know how important she is to me until I go to Delhi. I missed her so much that time. Then I came back only to see her behaving cruel towards me. I wish I never came back. Journey back our home I tried to be busy with others so that I don't need to see her face. It was hurting me really.

When we reached back, I called Darshana. I really wanted someone to talk with.

"What's bothering you Zain?"she asked.

I told her everything. Everything except I have feelings for her. But she immediately asked me about that.

"You love her. Right?"

I didn't answer.

"I knows you better. You always had feelings for her. Please accept that you love her. Otherwise there is no chance you have to feel bad when she is getting married."

Everyone knew. Except me. And its too late now.

"Zain, are you there?"

"Yes." I replied.

"Remember the day when you danced with her during the reception. I noticed you clearly. You were admiring her throughout the dance. That day I realized you fell in love with her." She said making me amazed.

"Darshu, may be you are right."

"May be?"

"Ok. I admit. I love her. But its too late now. I lost her."I said accepting defeat.

"What if she has agreed to the marriage only because she wanted to marry someone?"she said giving hope.

"No. Shamz and her are in a relationship. I know that. I have seen them together so many times." I said what I know.

"Zain you are dump. Seeing them together doesn't make them in a relationship. Atleast talk to her. What if she is forced into this? Or may be she agreed only because she doesn't have another option."

I wish she is saying truth. But I cannot have some false hopes.

"What I knows about her is, she was very much distressed about her mother's health the other day. There is no way she get into a relationship so soon. There is something more behind this. Talk with her and give yourself a chance."

What if she really forced into this?

"Just talk to her today itself. Agreed?"she asked.

"Yes. I would." I agreed.

I should talk to her today itself.

I saw her alone at night and I decided this is the best time to talk with her. I thought to congratulate her first for getting the offer at AIIMS and that can be taken as the starting point for our conversation. But she taunted me for congratulating late. When I saw her crying I couldn't handle that. I ended up hugging her.

"Please Ayesha. Don't push me away this time."I said and my eyes were watering.

"Zain, I didn't ignore you. But you treated me like I am noone to you. Why did you go to meet your friend without informing me?"she asked.

I stood silent because I don't have an answer.

"Zain, I want answers."

"Ayesha, that time...That time I felt to do like that. I don't even know the reason. But I was not trying to stay away from you. Believe me. When I came back, I tried to talk with you. But you behaved as if I don't exist."

"You were my best friend. Then you left without telling me. And what did you expect me to do then?" She shouted.

"Ayesha, I am sorry."

"No sorry. Tell me the reason Zain. Why did you treat me like a stranger? I need answers today." She shouted holding my shirt collar.

I was about to tell her everything when Hanah came for us. But then the news of her engagement fell on me.

She is getting engaged. There is no way I can find my way towards her again. It has ended. Forever.

I have been always reluctant about admitting my feelings for her. But now I do.

I love Ayesha!

And I lost her!
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A long chapter. So Zain is equally in love.

What would be the fate of their love?