Ayesha's PoV
I sat down on the floor with no clue regarding my future. Today all the beautiful dreams that guided me feels like a nightmare.
What is happening around me?
Is anyone of them is real?
Am I still in my sleep?
Of all the people I met in my life I thought atleast Shamz wouldn't ditch me like this. But he has given me the most brutal betrayal.
I will marry Ayesha if she agrees.
Did he really say that?
And what was he thinking at that time?
What surprised me most was all the people had suddenly changed their mind and agreed for this marriage. A marriage where my consent doesn't really matter because he is from the same family. If he declares my marriage means I should also agree. Even Reyza aunty who was berating me a few minutes ago suddenly agreed for this marriage. Does my past at Bangalore have such an impact?
Eveyone agreed.
But what about me?
It is true that Bapuji and mama asked my consent regarding this. If I had said no, they wouldn't force me much. But all their happiness would have also gone that second. And I will be declared forever as the reason for my mama's sorrow once again. Everyone was happy because Shamz knows me better than anyone else. But I don't know him. It was a misunderstanding that I knew him. But actually I don't. This Shamz is not the one with whom I can share even the most little secret of my life. I was completely wrong in judging him.
First Zain.
Now Shamz.
I was wrong everytime.
Every damn time.
This breaks me.
Why its me always?
Wait, does he love me?
And he didn't tell me that?
And then he sent me to Zain for proposing him?
I can't believe that I was seeking comfort from this man all these while.
What a downgrade from being my best friend to a traitor.
I heard the knob of the door slowly turning around and then the door opened infront of me to reveal him. The man who has to answer all my questions.
"Shamz" I jumped up from the floor and within no seconds I held his collar.
"What do you think you are? A savior for me?" I shouted.
"Ayesha, just a minute. I can explain. Please." He pleaded which never bothered me.
"No. Better you shut your mouth." I showed him all my anger.
"Wait." He made me stand away and locked the door before facing me.
"Now you can attack me. I don't mind."he declared.
Is he giving me a favor by saying this?
I don't care about any of his mercies hereafter.
"I hate you Shamz." I stated while moving towards the other side of the room.
He like an obedient child followed me and stood exactly behind me.
"You have all the reasons to hate me Ayesha. But I don't find a single reason for letting everyone play with your life. I can't see anyone treats you like a burden. You are a precious friend for me."he spoke in a soft tone.
"Friend? Do you know what it means to be a friend?" I asked spitting my anger.
"Yes I know Ayesha. Better than you. And I can't see my friend in tears." His words amazed me.
"Weren't you worrying about getting married with a stranger? And facing all that comes into your way. I know your fears. I know how much you sacrificing for your mother's happiness. I know how much it bothers you about the fate of your future. Your dreams, your career."
Did he think about all this?
"I just want to lend you an helping hand. Not because I believe that you are incapable of fighting alone. Because I don't want to see you getting dragged like this. Like someone deciding your future and you worrying about all the things under the sky. I can't see you getting tensed. I can't see you leave your dreams only because some Azhar may not like that tomorrow. And then you without protesting would obey him. Even if you don't admit, I know it would be end of you. I can't get to see my old Ayesha then. There is no Ayesha without your dreams. I know that better than anyone else."
"Shamz..."
"You would never think about yourself. So let me do that for my friend. I was there with you whenever you needed me. But when it matters the most, if I didn't help you then what kind of a friend I am?"he asked.
"But is it necessary to ruin your own life for that?" I asked with tears.
I felt regret. I shouldn't have judged him. Atleast not before hearing him.
"Ruin? It is still better than getting your life ruined. Because you are so precious Ayesha" he smiled.
Stop it. I am not smiling. You are an idiot.
"Don't punish me by showing so much sympathy for me."
"You are dump. Stop overthinking and take it in the right sense."he said seriously. "I don't feel any sympathy for you. I have immense respect for you Ayesha. If you fail to realize that then I am done."
I moved towards the bed and slowly settled down at one side. There is too much happening around me. I feel completely blank. There is no way I would get an escape from this.
What would it feels like to be the only one having no voice for your own marriage decision?
"Can you please get out of your thoughts Ayesha? I proposed this marriage so that they wont force you much into this Azhar. I don't have any plans to marry you if you doesn't willing to."he sighed.
"Shamz, shall I know what is your plan?"I asked realizing he is a master brain in planning and plotting.
"Yes. I would explain. They wouldn't discuss about your marriage atleast for a while. All these cousins of you doesn't care about you much actually. They are envious of you. They are the one injecting poison into your mama's mind and that's why she is always worried for you."
He is right. I know.
"So for the time being you will be relieved from this tension. I would tell them that we would get married only after two years so that we would both get time to grow up respectively in our careers. You as a doctor and me in my new venture. And they would believe us."he said as if he is writing a story.
"You really think all this is easy?" I asked anxiously.
"You better don't be too much innocent. We would make this work out."he was over confident like he always was.
"And what would we do after two years?" I asked the next.
"By that time better you find someone who wouldn't reject you." He said funnily.
But it hit me.
I can't.
Nobody would accept me.
Understanding me he hit my head.
"Not again."
"Shamz, what must be the reason why Zain suddenly left? What do you think?"I asked.
"I think that he left to meet his friends. That's what Hanah told you."he replied sarcastically.
"But he didn't inform me. Earlier he used to tell me everything. He didn't have any plan to meet his friends when he came to India. Then what made him do this suddenly?"I asked trying to connect dots.
"You know this much about him but failed to realize he only sees a friend in you. And then you went on proposing him only for him to reject you." Shamz laughed making me mad.
I threw the pillow on him. He caught it with his hand.
"I think he don't want to see my face after what happened."I said.
"Yeah what an ugly face you have. What about trying some fairness cream." He made fun of me.
"Shamz please."
"The day you learns to let people leave, you would learn to adapt to this world. This is my life lesson for you. Right people would come back to you if they really deserves you. If no, they are not meant to be in your life."
.
.
.
.
.
I had nothing much to do after that. Shamz have done everything. He informed Bapuji about waiting for two years and then marriage. Everyone agreed to this. I am surprised how people really think that we are in a relationship.
All the family behaves well with me now a days. Reyza aunty was showering me with love and she already started talking about how her son is getting married to a doctor. Zehra Aapa was really happy from heart. I wanted to tell her truth but Shamz stopped me. Mama and Bapuji are not pressurizing me for anything now. I am relieved at that fact.
One day I saw Zain in Maaji's room. I neither asked him when did he come nor tried to enquire about that secretly. He didn't care to tell me when he left then why should I care for him. He can leave whenever he want, he can come back when he wish for. He can do anything he wants. I DON'T CARE. After all he is going back next week.
After that incident Asiya aunty didn't talk with me. Eventhough Ali uncle tried to initiate some conversations I escaped from that every time. I guess they didn't inform Zain about anything that happened here except that I and Shamz are getting married. He didn't even ask me about that.
Right now I am trying for some good job offers outside the state. Earlier I wanted to work somewhere not distant. So that I won't miss my mama. But it is no more my concern. I want to escape from here as soon as possible. Even Shamz suggested me same. I had rejected some offers that were at my hand for the same. I want to work at a reputed hospital for 2 or 3 years, then come back here to fulfill my dreams. I may give up on everyone and everything but not on my dreams. I swear.
"Ayesha Aapa, come. Let's go for shopping." I was reading something on my laptop when Hanah came for me.
"I am not coming dear."
"Aren't you bored? Come on take a break." She insisted me.
"Hanah, why can't you go with others?" I asked.
"We all are going. Ayesha, listen. This might be our last outing together. All of us are returning back by this week. Let's make this one memorable." Shahina said and this time I couldn't reject.
She is right. A fews days left and all would be back to their homes. A sudden void filled my heart. I was really enjoying their company, our small chit chats, the games we play together, all the gossiping sessions, more than all that I loved to listen their stories.
"Ok I would be ready within a minute." I got up and walked towards the wardrobe.
When I came back they were all ready waiting for me near the car.
"But who would drive?" I asked anxiously.
"I am the driver for today." Surprising me Zain came forward.
Is he also coming with us?
Let him.
I entered into the backseat while he occupied the driver seat. He was talking throughout the journey. My cousins are enjoying with him while I was little distressed. I felt envious when I saw him laughing with Sana. When we went for shopping last time he was with me. And today I feel like a stranger within the group.
Soon he parked the car at the mall. We got out and started walking towards the mall.
"What about watching a film?" Hiba asked.
"Yes yes. Anything today. Bapuji has given permission." Sana said.
I was walking at the last row. Suddenly I felt a glance over me. I looked up to meet his eyes for exactly a second and then he has averted his eyes. I didn't look at him after that.
We were shopping at a textiles. My cousins are busy searching the entire shop. There is already a big crowd occupied there and I felt suffocated. So I moved towards the other end where less people are there. I started looking for some good dress. My eyes fell on an yellow top and my hands automatically reached it.
This is perfect for me.
"This is perfect for you." I was shocked seeing him standing infront of me with his famous smile.
I wanted to smile back. But something inside me stopped me.
"Congratulations Ayesha." He said making me widen my eyes. "For getting married."
"Oh thank you."
"Shamz will take good care of you. I am sure."he said and I felt to hit him this time.
"I know." I fixed all my attention on the dresses infront of me.
"Why are you not talking to me like we used to talk before?"he asked out of nowhere.
I raised my eyebrows.
"I didn't get you." I said.
"You treats me like a stranger."his words made me loose all my control.
Seriously? Was it me?
"You didn't even ask me when did I come back. You were actually ignoring me all these while. Is that because you are getting married to Shamz?"he asked amused.
"Yes, I am ignoring you. Because Shamz may not like that." I wanted to hurt him the way he is doing the same to me.
I never thought about breaking our friendship. Never ever. But he....
"So you won't talk to me if he does not like that?"he asked with disbelief.
"No. I won't."I am stubborn equally.
He felt disappointed. I tried to go back to the others when he held my hand. I was shocked.
"What are you doing Zain?"
"I am sorry." He left my hand in the hope that I won't leave.
"What do you want?" I asked sternly.
"I want my friend back." He replied.
"You mean the friend you lost?"I asked back.
Good. Tit for tat.
"Ayesha let me explain."
"Yes. Please. But make it fast. I don't want to waste my time."I declared and he lost all the colors on his face.
He didn't stay there for a single second and left angrily.
Was I too harsh on him?
But didn't he deserve that?
Did I hurt him?
But he hurted me too.
Why everything is difficult for me?
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