...

Some meetings were inconsequential, others were stimulating yet easily forgotten. There were times when you meet someone, you would get along famously with them, and also times when a disconcerting conversation would sour the experience.

I remembered it clearly. Even when years had gone by, countless ruminations passed,
memories formed and forgotten, I still remembered it clearly.

No matter how I tried to avoid it, tried to replace the events with others,
tried to let go and move on from such painful incidences.

... I couldn't fathom the hows or the whys,
nor the known hopelessness and the inevitable ultimatum that would take place,
for it was etched in the recesses of my mind,
that no matter how I struggled to verbally and mentally lie to myself,
I couldn't and wouldn't give up the one thing I had come to treasure most...

The times I spent with her.

...

.

.

.

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..........M.E.R.I.D.I.A.N......L.I.G.H.T.S..........

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Today, I met an interesting and admittedly weird girl.

I accidentally hit her on the face. Not an ideal meeting, but it sure beat any prior ones I had in the past. Watching her walk away in quick robotic movements, I felt the beginning of intrigue and bewilderment crept in my chest.

What I didn't know then was that she would occupy my thoughts from years on end.

It all began that one simple day.

The first time I saw her.

...

The short program was over and done with. My mood faltered as I remembered the mistakes that I made. Seeing my gloomy expression, Coach Nanami patted my shoulder and said encouraging words, but for the life of me, I couldn't pay attention to what was said as I replayed and remedied the mistakes in my mind.

An hour later, I was left alone in the locker rooms as Coach Nanami went out to handle something with the staff while my mom placed the luggage in the car. My stomach grumbled loudly, reminding me of my exhausted state.

I hesitated, Coach Nanami would be back any minute now, and so will Mom. But I was thirsty and hungry... wasn't there a drinking fountain down the hall?

I didn't linger any longer as my stomach grumbled once again. Grabbing my jacket and a handful of change, just in case I see a canteen or something, I plodded through the halls in my worn, grey sneakers.

I think I saw it around here somewhere...

Where is it...?

The building thirst was getting irritating. I cleared my scratchy throat again as I searched for the missing drinking fountain. My pace went faster and I grumbled when I saw another empty corridor.

I frowned as I ambled grumpily down the corridor. At the end of it was a glass double door that, I knew, led to the main hall. A helpless sigh escaped me, I made a wrong turn and it led me to a farther destination.

Oh well, there's that convenience store at the other side of the street...

I absentmindedly thought, whilst I felt the change in my pockets, wondering if I brought enough for a discounted meal combo. Remembering Mom and Coach Nanami possibly waiting for me, I sped up my pace once again and rapidly swung the glass door open.

BAM!

I felt it before I heard it, the door that I was gripping had forcefully hit an object, or worse, a person!

Freezing for a split second, I shook myself out of it in the next. "Sorry!"

A girl was hunched hover while painfully holding her nose. Worry overtook me as I frantically tried to see what I could do. "Are you ok?"

"It's fine. I mean I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

She doesn't look like us, like Japanese. That's why my interest was piqued when she spoke in our language.

What followed after was where the weirdness began.

"Are you sure?" I asked again, my hands awkwardly held out in a futile attempt to help her.

"Yes, ye-"

The girl stiffened in place and paled considerably, like she saw a ghost. But I know that it wasn't possible, because ghosts weren't real. Or, at least, that's what Dad said.

We both went silent for a moment, for various reasons. I didn't know what she was thinking but now that we stared at each other, I couldn't help but notice that she was pretty. Her face was pale, but it was still darker than mine with its natural tan, though it did highlight the bright red color of her nose that was probably gained from the impact.

But it didn't diminish how pretty she looked.

I may only be a child in most eyes, though I liked to think otherwise, but I know beauty when I see one. The other boys in my class even had those dirty magazines, parading them around in the restrooms or nook corners at school, like it was a status symbol.

My mind was jolted back to awareness when the girl suddenly grabbed a random staff passing by and had him take a picture of us. Even a few moments after the girl had robotically walked away and the staff also went away confusedly, I was still frozen in a healthy mix of shock, bewilderment, and oddly enough, a tiny dose of intrigue.

It goes without saying, my hunger and thirst was temporarily forgotten.

*****

The next day, I was busy competing in the long program part of the competition. Again, a few mistakes occurred, leading to a ton of loss points. I was frustrated at myself, but I couldn't be gloomy now as I had to bow to the audience. Forcing a smile to my face even with the tinge of defeat was a necessary show of sportsmanship, which I hope, wouldn't become a habit.

I abhor losing.

Fighting the heavy disappointment, I bowed to every side of the arena and was met with polite applause in return. I turned to the last side and bowed when I suddenly saw the strange girl cheering enthusiastically among the crowd.

I was rightfully stunned, before I got myself together and headed towards the Kiss & Cry. I didn't know why, but I suddenly didn't feel so bad anymore.

Afterwards was a series of onsite interviews, I answered each and every question in a memorized fashion. I hope I didn't look too absentminded since my thoughts were wandering elsewhere.

Handling the media was a normal chore for me in every competition. Even if I wasn't able to get on the podium, the media, especially the Sendai network, seemed to surround me at every possible turn. I noticed that due to their ongoing presence and subsequent coincidences where I was singled out among others. There were even times when they would interview me even if the show that they were recording wasn't particularly based on my achievements.

Honestly, I didn't know why they did so because there were plenty of more successful skaters in my division. It was flattering and nerve-wracking to be on television and be featured in various channels. However, it did get tiring at times since it's mostly the same questions being asked again and again.

We were back in the locker rooms, most of the skaters and their companions left already but my mom was still fixing some damages on my costume, saying that it's better to fix it now rather than later. Coach Nanami handled the luggage this time, checking if everything was in order and nothing was left behind.

I leaned on the table with my elbows, watching my mom mend the stray baubles and fake pearls decorating my costume. It was a little embarrassing at first to wear these showy figure skating costumes, there were even instances when someone from my school, mostly guys from the upper grades, would tease me because I wore girly costumes. I mean, I get it, why would a boy wear frills and sparkly costumes?

It was difficult at the start, but I got used to it. Besides, when I started appearing on television, the teasing eased a lot. It also helped that I had plenty of friends in school, they stood up for me whenever I got teased.

That's one of the reasons why I was friendly to those who were nice to me. I knew how it felt like to be teased. My dad always told me that it was better to be nice to someone and if you didn't have anything good to say, then better not say it at all.

I was brought back to the present when I was momentarily blinded by the reflection of light that one of those fake pearls caused when Mom replaced the missing parts. The flash of light reminded me of that camera flash yesterday, when I had my picture taken together with that strange girl.

An idea barged itself in my mind, I played around with it to see whether I should go for it or not. I hummed while I tapped my fingers on the table lazily. Mom was busy gluing the pearls back in place and Coach Nanami was still organizing the luggage. They would probably need several more minutes before they're both ready to go...

I didn't even know if she's still in the stadium or if she left already. I had two choices, it was either stay here silently and wait in boredom for Mom and Coach Nanami to finish, or roam the place to search for the girl.

The answer was kind of obvious to me.

"Ma, I'm gonna walk a bit."

"Where to?" Mom said distractedly as she took out the sewing kit from her bag.

"I'm gonna look for the pretty onee-chan." I grinned.

"What pretty onee-chan?" Mom shook her head before she turned back to fixing my costume. "Alright, be back in half an hour. I still have to pick up Saya-chan from her practice."

"Ok."

Waving at them, I left the room and began my search.

I aimlessly roamed the stadium lost in thought while looking out for the girl in the back of my mind. Truthfully, a large part of me didn't expect to see her again. Judging from the many minutes of walking with no sight of her whatsoever, it became more and more true.

Checking my watch, twenty minutes had already passed. I should probably return now. Mom would be pissed if I made them wait for too long. With both hands in my pockets, I made my way back to the locker room.

Turning around the hallway, I first noticed Coach Nanami striding away with my luggage in hand. Coach was heading towards the direction of the car, so my mom was most likely already waiting for me to show up. I hastened my pace, then nearly stumbled.

I was startled, to say it lightly.

I nearly missed the crouching figure behind that vending machine. My jaw dropped a bit in astonishment, freezing in place for a few seconds, before it gradually turned into a smile. I shook my head and snorted in laughter.

This girl never failed to bemuse me.

*****

The pretty onee-chan also had a pretty name.

"Era," I whispered, hand propping my chin as I sleepily gazed out the window.

The dim afternoon light of the sun bathed me, hindered slightly by the standard curtains seen in every classroom in this school. I was sitting on my desk at the back leftmost corner of the class. Vaguely, I heard the teacher prattle on about European history or something, but my mind kept on wandering no matter how much attention I paid. The monotone voice of the teacher didn't help matters, that's for sure.

It had been a year since that particular competition took place. The intrigue I felt that day faded until it slowly turned into a distant memory.

I thought I had forgotten her, but my memory was jagged when the teacher mentioned the many civilizations that cropped up in various eras known in the history of the world.

Era. It suited her.

History, so intriguing with its stories, but sometimes forgotten as time passed progressively. However, unlike many supposedly important details that one forgets when the teacher dishes out a pop quiz, such as the birth of this, the death of that, the start of wars, and the end of peace...

Era was like the type of history that stayed in the back of your mind, the one you thought you forgot, but surprisingly saved your score by remembering it in the last minute. The memory of her never truly went away. Instead, it was laid in the corner, deep in the mind, waiting to be remembered again.

Indeed, I remembered.

I tapped my pen against my notebook as the teacher called out an unsuspecting student. It seemed that the teacher finally noticed that some of his students weren't paying attention to what he'd been saying. The unexpected recitation happened a few more times, thankfully, he didn't call on me.

As the lecture continued on, I tried to appear every bit of the model student that I usually was.

Great in sports, academics, and manners.

My dad being a vice principal ensured that. Of course, he never forced me to do anything I didn't want to do, nor did he force me to get perfect scores in every test I had. However, with proper prompting and guidance, my sister and I turned out rather well.

Not wanting to be called in case the teacher decided to do a surprise recitation again, I pretended to write down notes by doodling on my notebook. I should've just listened to the actual lecture and written down genuine notes, but I couldn't bring myself to care about the subject at the moment.

It was only a while later that I noticed that I've been shading letters E, R, and A on my notebook.

When lunch break came and after we bowed to the teacher in respect, I sat back on my seat and stared incomprehensibly at the letters I shaded on the paper.

"E...ra?" a voice said, interrupting my thoughts. It was Sato, one of my friends since primary. "Still got your head on history?"

I swiftly closed my notebook. Offering a quick grin, I said, "It's nothing."

He just shrugged, then dragged his desk and chair towards my own, whining, "I'm starving! I didn't get to eat breakfast this morning."

"Let me guess, you're late again." It was Hide this time, striding towards us while dragging a chair. He's another old friend of mine. He got transferred to another class two years ago, but even though he had his own set of friends in his own class, he always comes by during lunch time.

"He's always late," Touma butted in, placing his own lunch box on his desk. His desk was next to mine. It's inevitable that we became close. "That's like one of the hidden laws in this school. Sato, The Late Comer."

"Hey!"

In no time, I was surrounded by my friends, who either pushed their desks towards mine or sat on vacant chairs left behind by my other classmates who opted to eat in the canteen. I was lost in thought as we ate lunch, merely content listening on the ongoing babble my friends were having.

"Guys, guys," Itsuki whispered conspiratorially, eyes darting around checking if anyone aside from us were listening. He grinned widely as he turned back to us. "Look, I sneaked it in."

On his hand, hiding it behind the desk away from possible onlookers, was another dirty magazine with a scantily clad woman on the cover.

"Wooh!" Sato gushed, abruptly leaning forward.

"Nice! Where'd you buy it?" Touma laughed, skidding his chair nearer while munching on his lunch.

"Keep quiet!" Itsuki hid the magazine nervously.

"You wanna get in trouble? The hell you doing bringing that here?" Touma hissed at him, glancing behind him to check if anyone noticed them.

"Meh, no one will know." Itsuki sniggered.

"Too late," I said, not amused in the slightest. "I'm the class president, remember?"

"Yo! Bishounen! You're in on it now, we'll just tag you as an accomplice." He had the audacity to stick his tongue out to me. He opened the magazine and flipped over the pages, and each of my friends hovered closely, even the initially protesting Touma.

I sighed tiredly, leaning back on my chair.

Really, if I wasn't friends with them, I would've gotten them suspended ages ago with all the crazy antics they came up with.

It's not like I didn't have an interest in a woman's body, I did. I was intensely curious like the rest of them. Oddly enough, my curiosity ends with that, unlike these guys who scoured over the pages repeatedly. I didn't know if there's something wrong with me.

Maybe my perception was skewed because, while these women had great bodies, it didn't do anything to me but sate my curiosity. Just like with other girls.

There were cute girls in my school, either in my grade or in the upper levels. I would sometimes get a weird feeling when I first see them, then that feeling would fade as quickly as it appeared. It would completely disappear by the time the first conversation starts, leaving nothing behind, not even a hint of interest.

It was akin to appreciating a beautiful painting that I saw in the museum once, when we had that school field trip. I appreciated the beauty of the painting, but as the teacher led us to another painting, the appreciation faded and discarded in favor of another beautiful painting.

I wasn't ignorant of the way feelings worked. Especially in our age, the time when puberty kicked in. My dad made sure of that as he didn't want me fumbling around with these confusing changes.

To think of it, maybe that's why I was so clinical in the way I approached the subject. Dad explained puberty in his own rigid and procedural way, like he was teaching another class of his. If you knew how things worked, then it would take away the confusion and subsequent wonder that came with it.

That was why I never felt beyond passing admiration towards the girls I met in the past.

Wait...

Deep within, I felt my previous assumption wrong.

There was someone.

She held my interest even now. When adding the minutes that we met each other, it wouldn't even account to half an hour... yet the interest was still there, bubbling inside me.

It was true that I placed her in the back of my mind, but I never truly forgot about her. I thought I did, but I didn't.

My gaze settled on the lone notebook on top of my desk, bearing within the name of that girl.

I tapped my fingers absentmindedly on the table.

*****

The next time I saw her was when my skating club visited Nagoya to check out the stadium for our upcoming competition. No, I didn't place her in the back of my mind this time.

I was actually hoping to meet her in the last Junior Nationals. She wasn't there.

I remembered her saying that she's part of a skating club in Nagoya. One of my rivals-slash-friend in figure skating, Hino Ryuju, lived in Nagoya. He told me the skate club's location when I asked him... so, here I was.

Shuffling nervously, I was perplexed by what I was feeling. It was the first time that I was this nervous at the prospect of meeting someone.

What if she doesn't remember me?

That would be a plausible explanation as to why I was nervous. It would be strange to barge in unannounced and talk to the girl that I only briefly met two years ago.

The nervousness got the better of me. I took a step back and turned around, phone in hand already dialing my mom's phone. She dropped me off whilst she went to the mall to shop or something. She wasn't expecting me until around 6pm, where she would then come pick me up.

This was my team's last day staying in Nagoya, it's also used as a free time by all the members. Mom thought I was going to waste my time skating until it's time for us to go to the hotel. She didn't have the slightest clue that I would visit the pretty onee-chan.

As that thought came to mind, I stopped myself from pressing the call button.

If I leave now, there's a huge possibility that I will never see her again.

I didn't even know if she's in the rink right now. For all I know, she wasn't part of the club anymore and I was bumbling here like an idiot for no reason.

A gust of wind blew, shuffling my jacket sideways and slightly ruffling my hair as I stood still. A heavy breath escaped me. Placing my phone in my pocket once more, I turned back and walked towards the sports center.

*****

I got her number. I really got her number.

Sitting on my bed, I stared at my phone, which was lying innocently on my desk, like it was an unknown life form.

It's been two days since I returned from Nagoya. Life went back to normal, the only change was the new number listed in my contacts.

Every time I muster up the courage to send her a text, I would back away like a wimp.

Was it too soon to send her a text?

Would I seem desperate if I text her first?

I mean, I did visit her in her club just two days ago.

Why isn't there a manual somewhere for something like this?

It's my first time texting a girl that wasn't my family, relative, or teammate. Mostly, my friends consisted of guys, but I was also friendly and polite to girls.

Kids my age had already experienced a series of crushes, and there were also times when a new couple would emerge. My friends lamented why they were single whenever a crush of theirs would get together with someone else.

Whenever that happened, I didn't forget to tease them mercilessly. I never understood the novelty of lamenting a lost crush. If they liked them that much, then they should've just said it.

Why wait when you could do something about it?

I didn't expect it to happen to me.

What I felt for Era... I actually didn't know if it was a crush, or the beginning of it. I discarded the idea as soon as it came. While I found her interesting, and yes, we did spend an amazing time together that day, I still didn't know her that much. Why would I have a crush on someone that I didn't know?

Yet, it's the first time I ever felt this way. It's not a simple interest or admiration, because if it was, I would've forgotten about her years ago.

No, what I felt was stronger than a simple interest. The interest I had was enough for me to seek her out, after all. But a crush? No, I refused to believe it.

Maybe it was another form of curiosity?

Maybe if I text her now, and converse with her for a few days, then the interest I had for her would fade like many others. Yes, maybe that's what it was.

I should text her and be rid of this confusion.

The sooner I get to know her, the sooner I would realize that what I was feeling was nothing. Then we would hopefully be friends. Just friends.

Like what I wanted it to be.

Unknowingly, I found myself an excuse to gain the courage to contact her. Before I knew it, I already sent my first text to her.

Hi

I smacked myself on the face at the generic text. Groaning on my pillow, I waited for her reply. Minutes passed, and no reply whatsoever was forthcoming. I paced around my room as I intermittently gazed at the phone on top of my desk.

Maybe I should've introduced myself first. What if she didn't know it was me? We exchanged numbers but... I didn't know what else to think.

Should I send another text? But, wouldn't that be too desperate?

My breath froze as my phone sounded in notification.

Hello :)

I smiled widely as I read the equally generic reply.

Oh, this is Yuzuru. You know, the guy 2 days ago? Nagoya Castle?

I know!~ :) Sup, castle buddy?

My mind came up with a blank. I honestly didn't know what to say. I wanted to text her but a topic never came to mind.

Um, just saying hello.

I squeezed my eyes painfully at my awkward response. My face felt hot as I sent another reply.

Sorry, I just want to talk to you.

I waited in suspense as I waited for her reply. Would she think me too weird or, worse, clingy?

Nothing to be sorry for, I would love to talk. I had fun the other day.

I was stunned at her reply. I felt my lips quirk as I felt that confusing sensation rise up within me again.

Really? Me too, I really enjoyed our trip around Nagoya. Too bad about the castle though.

I know! But hey, at least we have something to look forward the next time we visit.

Sure, looking forward to it.

I smiled and flopped down my bed as we continued texting each other. My phone rang again in notification as another text came in.

Next time let's go to that food alley near the castle. Seems like a cool place to hang out.

... next time?

Yah! ..... that is if you're up for it? But, it's ok if you don't wanna...

No! I would like to, hang out again, I mean. :)

Ok! Yay! :D

Another text came before I could reply.

I'll get a map and make sure to ask for other touristy destinations. I'm gonna be a better tour guide next time around.

...

Sounds good.

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..........M.E.R.I.D.I.A.N......L.I.G.H.T.S..........

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(I don't think I did Yuzuru justice here... but then again, this is my own version of Yuzuru. Not the real Yuzuru.)

(The reason why I made Yuzuru so serious at times is that I always felt that he's the serious type when not in front of the media. A sharp contrast to Elana. This is my novel's Yuzuru, serious, brooding, and sarcastically funny.  That's why Elana categorized him as a Middle-Aged Teenager.)

(One other thing, if you're in the habit of reading author's note, then I think you know that I was hesitating to post this Yuzuru-centric chapter... I decided to post it in the end because you guys are so amazing! Thank you for all the support!)

(Special thanks to RandomVixxFan for giving me the courage to post this chapter.)

(If you liked this chapter or want more Rumination chapters, please leave a vote and/or a comment, thank you!~)