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..........M.E.R.I.D.I.A.N......L.I.G.H.T.S..........

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I was a nervous wreck.

Competing in the Vancouver Olympics in front of the whole world? Easy.

Performing in a simple gala exhibition with a thousand or so audience? Impossible.

My mindset was weird when one thought about it. In competitions, I had a goal to perform my best and rack up every single point I could attain. However, dishing out a performance for the entertainment of the audience made me shake in my skates.

I was expected to entertain people, which I do not do. Even way back when I was in elementary or high school, I was the kid who would tell popular funny jokes but get zero response that simply screamed 'Hm, was that supposed to be funny?' as a result.

Why do I have to skate in this gala?

I let out a mournful sigh for the umpteenth time then I heard a laughing voice saying, "Relax. Galas are supposed to be fun. You look like you're gonna face a fearsome tiger or something."

"I don't know." I shrugged, giving a helpless smile to Ashley. We were hanging around in the girls' locker rooms. "I didn't even have a routine for these kinds of shows. I'm just going to recycle one of my novice programs..."

Ashley gave me an 'Are you kidding me?' look. "You don't have programs for ice shows?"

"I've never done ice shows. This is my first ever gala."

"What?" Ashley had that expression again.

"Stop looking like that. I'm not that popular, ok?"

Ashley couldn't contain her expression. "Uh, you blew up the net. The hell are you talkin' about, girl?"

I slumped down on the long plastic bench where Ashley and I were lounging. I nearly fell off it in the process. I didn't care as I laid face first on the bench. After a moment of silence, Ashley began annoyingly poking me.

"You just have to remind me," I let out in a suffering voice.

My interviews were posted everywhere possible across various social media sites. The interest basically quadrupled. Sure, in the past I was already a known figure in the skating community if one paid attention to skaters aside from the prominent top five. The skating fans would occasionally ask for a picture when they randomly happened to come across me after having their fill of the other top skaters.

Now, I couldn't go anywhere in public without somebody recording my every step. It's only been a day since that interview. Why, oh why, did I have to speak in Nihongo? Even Shoma was implicated in this mess when the media posted pictures of us walking together to the hotel. I hope Aiko wasn't mad at me...

The Japanese media recognized Shoma, and in turn, they helpfully informed the fans of his background in the skating community and our supposed connection to each other. They also supplemented the fact that we trained in the same club for years. The very same club where Asada Mao trained before she went abroad.

There were even some articles which pointed out that I was quite close to Yuzuru, as evidenced by the sudden re-emergence of several pictures and videos of us together in that fateful Grand Prix Final exhibition night.

Speculations were rampant about my connection with Shoma and Mao, my connection with Yuzuru, and my connection to Japan in general.

If it ended at that, it would've been tolerable. But then, some crazy fans decided to go wild about it. For some inane reason, a shipping war started... the contents of the battling ships? Yuzuru, Kanako, and yours truly.

I mean, what the actual f-?

"It's not that bad. Treat this as a way to de-stress." Ashley had a casual smile, comfortably crossing her legs. "Forget about those fans. Skate your heart out."

I glanced up at her from my position. With reluctance, I lazily sat up and tried to fix my intricately done hair. We were both in our costumes. Ashley already finished skating half an hour ago. Now, I was waiting for my turn to come up. "I know, sorry for moping... the fans are crazy..."

"You mean that discussion about you and that Japanese guy?"

I leaned back. "You saw it too?"

"'Course. Juicy gossip." Ashley grinned.

Yes, people.

Figure skaters do indeed check out forums also.

I was mightily thankful that Ashley didn't understand Japanese because the local forums here were worse with the speculations.

"He's cute but way too young." Ashley curiously asked, "What's the deal between you and Hanyu anyway? You have a thing for younger guys?"

"No! I swear," I deeply emphasized the words, "nothing's going on between us. We're close, but not like that. And as you said, he's too young. Not that I'm interested in him for that matter. Nor will I ever be."

"Ok, chill. I was just asking." Ashley was way too amused at this.

"I don't get it. If they want to ship someone, they should stick with their original Yuzu and Ka-" I stopped at that. A sudden pang of some kind shot through me.

Suddenly, I felt the beginning of anger and annoyance at the mere thought of them being hypothetically together. I had this uncomfortable feeling where my chest tightens up while having an urge to seek Yuzuru out.

It must be because I was on bad terms with Kanako. That's why I didn't like the thought of them hanging out together.

Nevertheless, I really had this intense urge to search for Yuzuru. I agitatedly stood up, surprising Ashley in the process. Watching me walk around the room in a restless manner, she bemusedly said, "Hurry up and do tell."

I was saved from answering when a knock sounded. "Ferrer-san, your turn will come in fifteen minutes. Please prepare." The Japanese staff bowed politely, which I hastily returned, and left. He actually spoke to me in Nihongo. I know I shouldn't be surprised considering that the news of me knowing Nihongo blew up.

"My turn's coming up," I said, gathering my things and placing them in my duffel bag. Ashley also stood up, intending to come together to head back at the rinkside.

I was slotted to skate in the middle of the lineup. Thankfully, I would be able to watch Yuzuru's gala exhibition later on. He'll skate in about two or three skaters after I finish mine. Aside from the opening exhibition, I haven't been able to meet him yet today because we were both busy preparing for our upcoming performances.

As I've said to Ashley, I would be skating to one of my past programs that none of the audience had ever seen before. My first free skate novice program, to be exact.

It was Tchaikovsky's Valse Sentimentale. It was such a long time since I did this program. Thankfully enough, I still remembered the steps clearly and even made little tweaks here and there to improve the program. Also, I decreased the number of jumps to three. After all, this was only a gala exhibition.

When I got on the ice, the audience was very receptive. With gentle circles around the ice, I went through the motions of my program. I followed the greatest advice that my first coach, Coach Edmund, imparted - skate like you're the only one in the stadium.

Awareness of my surroundings gradually faded along with my remaining anxiety. Left behind was my desire to dance to this wonderful piece of music. In hindsight, I think the only thing that bothered me was how dark my surroundings were. Unlike during competitions where the venue was well lighted, the gala exhibitions thrived in a darkened environment with several spotlights targeted at the performing skater. It was weird skating like this. I had this silly fear that I would crash into the barrier at any given moment.

Thankfully, nothing of that sort happened. I ended my performance with a flourish and the audience burst into cheers and applause. After bowing to them, I waved my hand with a cheerful smile and headed back to the rinkside where the other skaters were milling around.

After watching a few more performances and quietly chatting with Ashley and Meryl, nature suddenly called me at the worst possible time.

"On the ice, Hanyu Yuzuru!"

Crossing my legs and fidgeting on the spot, I tried to hold it.

Damn, I shouldn't have finished that liter of Gatorade earlier!

When nature called, you gotta heed it.

Yuzuru was in the starting pose of his Change program, which I loved to the core, but I couldn't! Not now! I wanted to pause time itself.

Quickly excusing myself from the girls, I hurried to the backstage, passed a few halls, and got lost in the process. I opened a few doors, sometimes surprising random staff, other times hurriedly throwing out a 'hello' to fellow skaters, and... oh... get a room!

Freakin' hell! Lock the door, at least?!

Shaking off this incredibly startling revelation between Skater A and Skater B, I continued on my way to the missing restroom. Fidgeting and shivering at the urge, I quickly clutched someone without looking who they were.

"E-excuse," I stuttered with a pained expression, not even having the energy to finish my sentence.

"Erana-san?"

I looked up. It seemed that I grabbed the arm of Takahashi Daisuke. Daisuke, for short. I vaguely remembered meeting him a year ago. "Daisuke-san. It's nice to see you, butpleasetellmewheretherestroomis?!"

"Eh?" Daisuke cocked his head.

"Restroom!" I squirmed painfully.

"Ah! There! Around that corner!" Daisuke said in a panic, no doubt affected by how panicked I was. He helpfully led me to the nearest restroom. Once I saw the girls' sign, I hurried inside.

After a few moments, I shyly inched out of the restroom and lowered my head in pure mortification. Daisuke was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. When he saw me, a broad grin appeared on his face. "Finished?"

I didn't know if my entire body could get any hotter. "I... I'm sorry!" I bowed deeply to him.

Daisuke laughed boisterously. "Don't worry about it." He waved his hand nonchalantly, asking me to not mind it.

I didn't know what was worse - begging Daisuke to lead me where the restroom was, or Daisuke waiting for me outside while I did my business. "You... you didn't have to wait for me..." My cheeks felt way hot for this. The embarrassment that I felt was through the roof.

Daisuke gave me an amused look. "I heard from Yuzu that you're directionally-challenged. I didn't believe it at first, but who gets lost in such a small stadium? Not to mention the nearest restroom from the rink was, like, only a corridor away, and yet here you are."

"Hey!" My temper flared before I remembered who I was talking to. This person wasn't Yuzuru. This was Daisuke, a top senior skater who was several years older than me. "Sorry," I mumbled, fidgeting nervously.

"Don't sweat it, and don't be so polite either." Daisuke gave another side grin and snapped his teeth playfully. "I don't bite."

He jerked his head to the side, indicating us to head on along. I followed him and we walked in silence for a while before I finally gathered up the courage to say, "I'm kind of dreading what else he said about me."

"He said some things, positive things," he added, seeing my skeptical look, "but it's more on how you interact with each other. I've never seen Yuzuru so at ease with someone before."

I thought about his words. "I'm very comfortable with Yuzuru. He's very fun to hang out with." I played with my fingers whilst absentmindedly following Daisuke.

Daisuke glanced down and contemplated. "He is..."

We were silent as we traversed through the winding halls. It wasn't an uncomfortable one, per say. We were both lost in our own thoughts that I barely even remembered that he's beside me. I was a bit startled when he spoke up again.

"I'm curious. If you don't want to say it, it's ok. I just want to ask something."

"Hm?"

"Is there something going on with you and Yuzu?"

"Wh-what?!" I spluttered. "That's insane! Of course not!"

The same question was directed to me in the span of a single hour. By two different people. I didn't even know if Daisuke and Ashley knew each other.

What's crazier was the way he was looking at me with that kind of expression that screamed he didn't believe my answer one bit.

Why won't anyone believe me?!

"Alright, if you say so."

"I do," I said, strongly.

Daisuke grinned and held up his hands in surrender. "I noticed how easy you treat each other... ah, I don't know if easy is the right term. It's more than comfortable, at least. You just have that kind of atmosphere between you two."

"Whatever it is that you saw, it's purely platonic."

"The way he looks at you..."

"Purely platonic."

"Maybe I'm going around this in the opposite way... you have a crush on him?"

"Are you a love detective, or a chatty gossip? Take your pick."

"Not even a little hint?"

"... have you been hanging out with him lately? You're, like, channeling an annoying Yuzuru aura right now."

Daisuke laughed boisterously. I fought off a smile and shook my head. Surprisingly enough, I felt more comfortable with him than I did in the past ten minutes. Now that I properly looked at him, I noticed that his wide smile complimented and softened his supposedly manly features with a boyish feel.

In honest to goodness truth, Daisuke was very handsome. I was a bit drawn with not only his appearance but also his outgoing and warm personality. In the Philippines, I was surrounded by beautiful people whenever I do sponsor works that's why I was kind of immune to superficial beauty at this point. One could say that I was more attracted to pleasant and warm personalities rather than physical perfection.

I blinked.

When did my thoughts turn to relationships?

I thought about it for a while and found that my thoughts were now unaverse to romantic relationships. A year ago... no, even mere months ago, I would've turned away from the prospect. Now, it seemed that I wasn't resisting the idea at all.

The catalyst was the one walking beside me.

Seeing as I didn't partake in conversations like this with my high school friends way back then, I didn't even know if I have a type. If one would question me now, I would say that someone like Daisuke was my type.

He had this fun and easygoing personality and it didn't hurt that he's physically attractive with that manly aura going on. He's also several years older than me, which was a plus because, in my mind and point of view, older guys were more mature and caring.

That's weird.

Shouldn't having a crush meant you would feel this nervous and palpitating excitement whenever you're with them? I like the prospect of Daisuke. I thought I was developing a crush on him.

Why do I feel so calm?

I was brought out of my thoughts when Daisuke suddenly joked, "Why do I feel like Yuzuru's gonna throw daggers at me at any given moment?"

It was only then that I noticed I made Daisuke a little uncomfortable with my blatant staring while we were walking side by side. I flushed red and giggled nervously. "Sorry... Yuzuru again? You're kinda obsessed with Yuzuru," I teased him.

"What can I say? He's one hell of a guy. One look at him, then - poof! - didn't stand a chance." Daisuke was a master in teasing. He was saying something else but my attention was diverted when I saw something in the corner of my eyes.

Something incredibly unpleasant.

These two people a few feet in front of us... it would be an understatement if I said they made quite the sight to outsiders. They were smiling and chatting comfortably, the type only old friends could achieve. In every angle, a majority would say that they were quite compatible.

A great surge of annoyance and possessiveness burst out within me. I wanted to tear this pretty picture apart.

I felt a quick tap on my shoulder. Daisuke winked down at me with a slight grin on his face. It was only then that I realized I was scowling severely. I cleared my hideous expression just in time before Yuzuru glanced our way.

"Era!" he called out, smiling widely. He quickly approached then gave a slight bow when he noticed the other person. "Daisuke-san."

Yuzuru had a confused air with him. He tried to make sense of this strange combination. Why was Daisuke and Era, together? The air around them was a bit ambiguous as they stood a bit close to each other.  A sour feeling entered his chest.

On the other hand, I was filled with a ton of negative emotions inside when I saw Kanako and Yuzuru hanging out. I tried to pay attention to Yuzuru and, heck, smile in greeting, but my lips felt stuck in place. I just hope I wasn't showing a pained grimace.

Kanako paused temporarily before following Yuzuru's steps and standing beside him. She even laid her hand on his arm! What is this? The 19th century?! She greeted Daisuke cheerfully while wholly ignoring me. I felt my brow twitch at the slight. I literally wanted to squeeze my way between them and separate them by a few yards.

We all just stood there for several seconds... in a completely awkward tension. Yuzuru was heavily gauging Daisuke and me, Daisuke was amusedly staring at the scene, Kanako was hanging off Yuzuru's arm while giving me a - in my mind - superior look, and I was stewing on the inside thinking of various ways to push Kanako off Yuzuru's side.

Those several seconds ticked by and not a single sound was emitted.

"Excuse me, Takahashi-san, your turn will be on five minutes, after that it's time for the closing ceremony-"

I didn't let the staff finish his sentence. "Really? That's great to hear! I'll get going then!" I immediately aborted mission like I always do whenever it got too damn awkward.

Striding swiftly off, I didn't wait for any of them to come out of their stupor. My mind was simple and didn't need any extra side stuff to overload it. I didn't need to think of my confusing feelings about Daisuke, I didn't need to think about this childish feud with Kanako, and I didn't need to think about why I was so damn agitated around Yuzuru.

This is one hell of a confusin' gala.

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..........M.E.R.I.D.I.A.N......L.I.G.H.T.S..........

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