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..........M.E.R.I.D.I.A.N......L.I.G.H.T.S..........

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October 22, 2010

I watched on concernedly when Mao ended her short program. She made vital mistakes in her sequences and when she popped a triple into a single, her scores were dragged down massively. Clapping absentmindedly, I followed the cue of the crowd when Mao and her coach went to the Kiss & Cry.

Focusing on the limited time I got on the ice, I circled the rink, softly leaving thin lines in my wake. My body leaned to the side, fighting off gravity as I glided swiftly on the bend, making the most of it before my program starts. After a while, the announcer stated Mao's score and my short practice ended.

It was my turn now.

Returning back to Coach Brian's side, I calmed myself down and tried to process his last-minute pep talk. I didn't know why I couldn't understand what he's saying. Maybe I was too tense and nervous? I didn't want to needlessly worry him that's why I nodded even with zero understanding.

I patted the railing and pushed off. Doing crossovers, I went to center ice, got into position, and posed.

https://youtu.be/s0f_go8vQOY

(SP - Yiruma feat. Henry's River Flows in You)

My arm lifted up and went to the side going down in an elegant arc when the first note began. I went through the motions, deeply following the music wherever it took me. The rough sound of skates passing through the ice was the opposite of the vision I made, dancing in such a mesmerizing way.

While lightly dancing around the ice, I shifted edges and pivoted in a continuous manner without breaking my speed. Yiruma's River Flows in You may have been performed by other skaters, but it was a difficult music to perform. The sheer gentleness mixed with underlying intensity must be balanced for it to work.

Doing a series of complicated transitions to the point that my skates itself were in a blur, I readied my stance and took off in the air.

Triple flip, triple toe combination.

I landed it smoothly and proceeded immediately with step sequences, not a hint of pause was seen. The noise from the crowd was splendid enough for the euphoric atmosphere to accompany my dance.

Maintaining the same intensity and swift speed, I made elegant circles around the ice with my hands refinedly acting out certain notes in the program. Traveling the expanse of the rink in a continuous fashion, I entered another series of complex transitions and jumped.

Triple Axel.

Even though I was immersed in my program, I heard and felt the sheer vibrations happening in the stadium. I entered into a combination spin starting with a camel spin, then a donut spin, a modified sit spin with arms circled sophisticatedly under my knee, ending it with a layback spin, before doing a twizzle and continuing on with my performance from where I left off.

The spectators felt breathless when they saw this dance, this masterpiece, unraveling right before their eyes. Veterans of watching the sport, they had only seen a masterful display of skills a handful of times before. They couldn't help but be drawn and be at the edges of their seats as the program continued on.

Triple Lutz.

Coming out of my transitions, the climax of the program began and my main choreographic sequences soon followed with the mark of an arabesque spiral which I held to span half of the rink. Bending my body, I increased the difficulty by switching it into a cross-grab spiral.

Ending the spirals, I did a complex amount of turns and movements focusing entirely on my choreography and letting the emotions pent up inside to burst forth, eventually turning it into a level 4 step sequence without pause whatsoever. Finally, I entered my last combination spin, making sure that my techniques were tight and fast by centering on my core, and ended it with a haircutter spin that then transformed into a Beillmann spin.

Gradually decreasing my speed, I let my foot drop slowly down, managing to make it part of my choreography as I spun into a stop and held my final pose.

The stadium exploded with noise from the crowd. Plastic flowers and plushies rained down, subsequently covering the ice as I bowed to each side of the stadium.

"Thank you," I said, gasping in tiredness. Squinting my eyes as sweat dropped over, I turned to another side and continued to thank the audience. My knees felt like jelly and my body wanted to keel over anytime. I cut my interaction with the audience short, giving one last tired smile, before heading to my coach.

"Good job! You did great! I'm so proud of you." Coach Brian hugged me tightly, which I returned weakly, before helping me with my blade guards and ushering me to the Kiss & Cry. I chugged down my tumbler like I've never tasted water before.

Did you ever get exhausted to the point that while you're drinking water, you're still panting heavily? That's my state of exhaustion right now. Drips of water splashed down the side of my mouth, alarming Coach Brian enough to hand over a clean face towel.

"Thanks," I panted, messily wiping my face, not caring that my gaffe and subsequent actions were caught and recorded on various tv stations around the entire world. Who cared about that stuff when I felt like dying?

Coach Brian chuckled and I gave him a tired grin. Ignoring the rows of big recording cameras directed at us a few feet away, we talked about the competition.

"You really did great," Coach Brian earnestly said. I nodded in thanks, and listened as he continued, "Your steps were right on time, and those spins were nice and tight."

"I was worried about that. I thought I was going to stumble in that last spin." I remembered that I was too exhausted at that time. My main worry was failing the Beillmann.

"The important thing is, you didn't. That's all that matters. As long as you fight through it, you can achieve it. If you failed, at least you did your best. It's better to take it head on and learn from it," Coach Brian said, serious in his tone and manner.

I knew Coach Brian was speaking from experience. Listening intently to his advice, I took it to heart and made sure to ingrain it in my mind. There would be times in the future where I may possibly fail. If that scenario occurs, it would be best not to take it too hard.

Coach Brian nudged me and I heard that they were ready to announce my score.

"Elana Ferrer from the Philippines has earned from the short program, 72.61 points which is the new seasons best and a personal best. She is currently in 1st place."

I literally forgot to breathe.

*****

October 23, 2010

Fingers tapping across the keypad, I read the message for a moment and pocketed my phone. It was Shoma. I agreed to meet him later after my performance.

I haven't had the chance to meet him yesterday due to my fast-paced training and jam-packed schedule. I wasn't even able to watch Yuzuru's performance earlier this morning. I heard that he made a mistake in his triple combination. I hope he's alright.

I was currently in the practice room along with the other ladies skaters. We each minded our own business as we focused on our own preparation. I had my earphones on, playing upbeat music not related whatsoever to my free skate program. I liked listening to these adrenaline-rushing songs while I train.

Coach Brian was on the side, overseeing my training with a keen eye and making comments when possible. Walking around the room and stretching my arms, I incidentally passed by Kanako. The air turned frosty between us. We ignored each other and went on different ways.

"Elana Ferrer?" a staff called out. He was touching his earpiece used for communication while his other hand was clutching a black clipboard that had a bunch of papers attached on it. "Please get ready, you're next to skate."

With that cue, my team and I prepared. I changed into my costume, made sure my skates were fine, and - with a shuddering breath - headed to the rink.

The staff guided me to the watching room. I called it that but it's basically a waiting room where the next to skate skaters were required to sit and watch the current skaters perform. Instead of paying any regard to the butterflies in my stomach, I focused on watching Carolina Kostner's program.

Her program was pleasant to watch. She did make slight mistakes in her jumps. Her Axels were wobbly and the flips needed improvement. The choreography wasn't to my taste. It wasn't bad per say, but as a choreographer... I preferred a different style.

If my thoughts were broadcast to the fans, I would most probably be bashed until I was out of the figure skating community. It wasn't my intention to critic Kostner's program. I was just doing so unconsciously to take my mind off my inevitable demise... ahem, I mean, free skate.

Shit.

My mind went pessimistic again. Not a good time when I was about to skate next. I clenched my skirt and tried to calm down.

Ok, happy thoughts, happy thoughts. Positive thoughts!

I was still trying to calm myself when the staff indicated me to go on the ice. That's when I noticed that Kostner was already sitting on the Kiss & Cry.

Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, I patted my knees and got on the ice. I felt the familiar cold atmosphere of the rink. Doing circles and general strokes were my way of adapting before my program starts.

Kostner's score was announced and I was ready to perform. I shook Coach Brian's hand, did my customary rituals, and pushed off the railing. I did my crossovers and went on center ice.

I posed into my starting position.

https://youtu.be/Vhv3yP7dKSY

(FS - Astor Piazzolla's Invierno Porteño)

The music started.

I swept backward one-footed as if I was emotionally shocked and downtrodden, my hand covered my face before slowly and yearningly reaching out towards the direction of the judges.

My facial expression wasn't overly exaggerated, only the slightest hints of passion was reflected. I preferred showing my choreography both inwardly and outwardly in the form of a dance, making use of my entire body to tell an in-depth story.

Triple loop, triple toe combination.

I landed perfectly with great height on the jumps, setting the tone of my program. The outgoing transitions followed after without delay. I did a crossover, changed edges and pivoted without breaking speed. My hand swept to the side before turning again, suddenly taking off.

Triple Axel.

The noise in the stadium was deafening. I lost myself in the program, doing complex transitions and playing the part of a temptress. The target? The crowd, of course.

Triple Salchow.

Entering my initial spin with a traveling camel spin, it turned into a donut spin with hand poised artistically upwards, then a broken-leg spin with difficult variation. Bending forward to a cannonball spin for a couple of seconds then spinning upwards into a layback spin with hands forming a delicate circle atop of my body. Finally, I ended my spin with the ever-present Beillmann that I loved.

The second half mark had started and I could feel my energy rapidly dwindling. I placed all my energy and forced myself to push through. My sequences continued to stay clean, leaving flecks of ice to soar in the air wherever my skates decided to pass in such swift veracity.

Triple Salchow, half loop, Triple flip.

The way I landed was not as precise as the earlier ones. I continued my sequences and underwent another complex amount of transitions. I did a spread eagle and flew into the air.

Triple Axel.

Blame Yuzuru for that one. I love his Axel too much that I started to copy him. Thankfully, I landed that smoothly. However, after the Axel... I knew I was at my limit. My knees felt very weak. This was bad.

Either way, I once again forced myself to go on through my outgoing transitions. I danced across the entirety of the ice, shifting edges continuously, and my hands adding to the passionate motions of my performance.

Triple Lutz, double loop.

I nearly fell over on the toe loop. I tried my best to straighten my position and when I did, I continued on with my program. I refused to let this drag me down.

Fighting to finish this program and quickly determining my losses, I forego my original choreography in this part of the program because I did not have any more energy to expand. Instead, with a heavy heart, I did a simple crossover, occasional choctaw and counters, and another crossover. I readied my position, spanning half the rink, which was wholly uncharacteristic of me. I did my final combination jump.

Triple toe, half loop, double flip.

I touched the ice with my hand on the flip. I went on with my performance in a split second. Finally, with the jumps over and done with, I could focus on my remaining choreography. My form went through the motions when the music hit the climax, counters were done, hands reaching out and falling into arcs, turning eventually into a beautiful Ina Bauer.

Swift winds caused by my rapid movements across the ice messed my intricately done hair sending strands to delicately cover my face, incidentally making a more passionate and fiery picture as I went on to combine complexity and beauty, artistry and athleticism, in one single dance.

Gliding gracefully on the ice with such precision, the audience felt utterly captivated by this girl, no, this woman, that commanded their attention and admiration as she performed such a heart-wrenching act. Their breaths were caught in their throat, not daring to take their eyes off even for the slightest second.

The last combination spin began with a flying death drop spin that entered into a camel spin, a donut spin that then turned into a cannonball spin, a broken leg spin, then a catch-foot layback spin. I let my foot drop while spinning and ended the combination with a corkscrew spin. The last note in the music was prolonged, prompting me to gradually decrease the speed and relax into my final pose.

Thunderous applause was heard all around. The excitement was purely palpable in the atmosphere. Standing ovations were seen and a few Philippine flags were displayed and being waved in the stands.

My knees finally buckled. I sat down hard, knees first and hands flat on the ice, numbing me in the process. I could care less as I heaved deeply in a severe state of exhaustion. My body felt like a mass of jelly, cotton, whatever adjective possible.

I struggled to stand up when the plushies came raining down the rink. I was very sweaty all over that I even winced as some came into my eyes. Giving a weak smile against my panting breaths, I bowed to each side of the crowd which elicited a new wave of cheers.

Staggering towards the entrance where Coach Brian was waiting, I picked a small teddy bear that was thrown in my path. I nearly fell over in the process. Laughing at myself, I hugged the teddy bear close to my chest and glided over to my coach.

Coach Brian was grinning widely, barely containing his excitement. I was infected by his emotions and my mood uplifted. I said, "I know I shouldn't be this happy, not a perfect program there."

"Nonsense, you did your best." Coach Brian hugged me, and I did so too in return. "The performance may not have been perfect."

A sad smile was seen on my face.

"But look at the crowd, Elana," Coach Brian continued.

I did as he said.

"You've won the hearts of the people."

...

"Elana Ferrer from the Philippines has earned from the long program, 136.78 points which is the new seasons best and a personal best. Her total competition score is 209.39 points which is the new seasons best and a personal best. She is currently in 1st place."

...

*****

Standing on top of the podium with the Philippine anthem playing on the background was a very much perplexed Elana.

To say that I didn't expect to even reach the top of this podium was the understatement of the millennia. Yes, I did fight for those jumps at the end, and yes, I somehow expected to get a bronze or, heck, even a shiny silver.

What I never expected, after my hard-pressed long program, was to get the gold medal.

Well, to be fair, the favorite skater to win was Mao. Sadly, she didn't perform so well in this year's NHK. Maybe that's why I subconsciously discounted taking home the gold. After Mao... I honestly couldn't think of another competitor who could surpass my TES capability. My jump lineup was basically a threat to other skaters due to obvious reasons.

Aside from Mao, only I could do multiple triple Axels.

As for PCS? I never had a problem with that side of the bucket. The PCS was actually my saving grace in most competitions. Some may say that this kind of thinking has arrogance written all over it. I didn't think so. I just had that confidence in my hard-earned skills and abilities.

After the Victory Ceremony where I posed for pictures together with Carolina Kostner, who got silver, and the bronze medalist, Rachel Flatt, we were ushered into the press conference where the media was waiting.

The conference room was a bit chilly. I readjusted my red Team Philippines jacket closer and shifted in my seat. I tried to adapt to the neverending flashes of camera going around. The host spoke of a few rules to be maintained and that's the cue to begin the interview.

Some questions were at first directed to Carolina and Rachel, so I sat there and listened politely, smiling at appropriate times.

"This is to.... to Erana Ferrer. I am wanting to ask... uh, if..."

Seeing as that the NHK was held in Japan, half of the journalists present in the room were Japanese. The journalist that wanted to ask me a question was Japanese, and it seemed that he had trouble speaking in English. I must commend him for that. It was very difficult to try speaking in a foreign language.

He was quite young, maybe a new journalist? When the other veteran Japanese journalists asked questions to both Carolina and Rachel, they spoke in their native tongue because there were translators nearby. Now, it seemed that this fresh-faced journalist forgot about that due to nervousness.

"It's ok, you can speak in Japanese."

"Oh! Really?"

There was a sudden amount of flashes going on when the surprised media took in what I said.

"Yes, I know Nihongo. I've lived in Japan intermittently for years. It's only recently that I left."

"Then, please excuse me, and thank you. This question is for Erana Ferrer. You've won your first senior title, placing Team Philippines directly under the radar. Any thoughts on that?"

It was quite a broad question.

"I'm very thankful that I won the title. I will continue to strive hard and practice even harder to win more titles. It's always been my goal to be the best that I could be in my career as a figure skater."

I paused, then continued, "In doing so, I hope figure skating will bloom more in the Philippines. I already know quite a few Filipino figure skaters who would be competitive in international circuits in the coming years. I hope for them all the best."

The next journalist was of European descent this time.

"This is also for Elana Ferrer. You have quite a high level of jump lineups and the techs were splendid indeed. It's only recently that Mao Asada made a world record of the first woman to land three Triple Axels in a competition, and you've achieved that half a year later. How exactly did you do it?"

I tilted my head in wonderment. Really? There's a world record like that? I shrugged and said dumbfoundedly, "I just jumped."

The crowded room burst out in laughter.

Giving an embarrassed smile, I explained, "I've always loved the Axel jump. Out of all the jumps, that one is my personal favorite. I actually didn't give any thought of catching up to world records. I just did what I wanted to do, and that is to improve my Axels."

The next one was another Japanese guy.

"If you don't mind, I will speak in Nihongo." After my nod, he continued, "I've actually covered past competitions since you were in juniors. You've said in the past that you trained in the same club as Asada Mao. How does it feel like to compete against her in the same competition? Do you have a good relationship with each other?"

"Hm, I've first competed against her in the Vancouver Olympics," I began, "and I have to say, it was great. The feeling I got to compete in such a high-level competition was beyond compare. I love competing with other skaters because that's the time where you will improve the most."

"As for if Mao and I have a good relationship, I hope so." I smiled bashfully, prompting a new wave of flashes. "She's very easy to talk to and also very friendly."

"This question is for Miss Ferrer. Both of your programs' choreography was breathtaking, and I dare say it maximized the elements well without the programs appearing clumped together. When I checked the choreographer... it was stated that you choreographed all your programs?"

"Yes, I do choreograph my own programs. It started ever since I was in novice. You could say that it's a hobby of mine to create new programs and act them out in the process. However, I must say, I received help and advice from my instructors while doing so. It's part of the learning process."

I held the microphone for a while with a small smile on my face when I thought about my past dance instructors in the Philippines. "As for this seasons' programs? One of my coaches in the TCC, David Wilson, helped me improve it. I learned a lot from him."

"You currently train in the Cricket Club under the guidance of Brian Orser. It's well known that Brian Orser guided Kim Yuna to gold in Vancouver. How does it feel like being coached by him? Any aspirations for that gold in Sochi?"

"Definitely, my main goal is actually the Sochi Olympics. I confess to being underprepared for Vancouver because it was never part of my plan. The coaches back in the TCC are all great. Coach Brian is my main coach there. He's been very patient to me. I know I have a lot to improve and I will do my best to do so."

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..........M.E.R.I.D.I.A.N......L.I.G.H.T.S..........

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(It's so hard writing the programs.)

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(I know, it's an Elana-centric chapter, but next chapter will be the end of the NHK arc. Promise!)

(If you liked this chapter, please leave a vote and/or a comment. Yes, I do love to read each notification that comes from this novel. Thank you!~)