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..........M.E.R.I.D.I.A.N......L.I.G.H.T.S..........

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Ashley and I were chatting when we arrived at an upscale restaurant within the hotel where we could avail our free buffets. The delicious aroma wafting from the morning menu made my stomach grumble angrily.

I gulped while gazing at the impeccable dishes laid about. Plate in hand, I started scanning and deciding which food to devour.

Living in Toronto for months on end had gotten me used to western food. That was if I was too lazy to cook my own food - Filipino style. It's either steak with potatoes, fish and chips, lobsters - if my aunt felt kind enough to invite me for dinner -, and burgers with a crispy heap of fries. I usually went for the latter one as my daily lunch.

Now, seeing the Japanese food all around... I realized how much I missed Japan. There were also other continental dishes available, so much so that it was a mix of western and eastern cuisines, but I decided to stick with Japanese because it's been months since I've tasted one.

Instead of going for the cliche sushi and ramen that was surprisingly available for the morning buffet menu, I got a bowl of rice, raw egg, miso soup, grilled fish, fried beef, and some side dishes that I remembered eating in Sendai but forgot the name of.

It seemed that I was contemplating for too long because when I looked around, my chatty companion was long gone.

"Elana, over here!" Ashley called out, waving at me from a large round table beside the huge glass windows. She was in the process of setting down her plates on the table.

I started walking towards her when I noticed that the table was occupied by some skaters as well. Pausing in my steps for a second, I hesitated in my stance. I was always awkward when meeting new groups. It was fine if I talk and meet one new person, but... I didn't know what's wrong with me. It was unusually hard for me to assimilate in a group who I didn't know yet personally.

That's the main reason why I had such a small number of friends, a close-knit one, but still a small number. Take Yuzuru and Shoma for example, throughout my already four-year career as a figure skater, my only close friends in the community was Yuzuru and Shoma. I may have gotten introduced to other skaters as well... but that's where it ended.

Deep inside me, I wanted to change that.

With that resolve, I heaved out a breath and steeled my nerves. I placed on a friendly smile that had hints of nervousness concealed within it if one looked enough.

"Hi!"   "Hello."

Meryl Davis, the 2010 Silver Olympic medalist greeted, followed by a pair of Asian-American who shared similar features enough to be considered siblings... I swore I saw them before in a past juniors competition but I couldn't remember their names.

"Hello, sorry for the intrusion," I greeted back and bowed lightly, sitting next to Ashley.

"Oh, it's ok." Meryl waved. "It's no bother at all. I'm Meryl."

"Alex," said the guy with the cheerful smile. He patted the shoulder of his sister, "and my sis, Maia. Alex and Maia Shibutani."

"Nice to meet you." Maia smiled, nodding back at me. "We've seen you before, Junior Worlds, right?"

"Nice to meet you too, and yes, I remember seeing you guys too. I'm Elana, by the way."

We did small talk from here on out. I tried hard to feel at ease and relax in their presence, and even though they went the extra mile to include me in their conversations, I couldn't help but feel that I was out of place in this table.

Not to be mistaken, they're all very friendly and easy going... I guess, there's just something wrong with me.

"-lling that to her, right?"

The following silence in the table made me look up from my bowl. I saw that they were staring expectantly at me, making me flustered. "I-I'm sorry, what's that again?"

Taking pity at my awkward self, Ashley nudged my shoulder and jokingly said, "I should've gotten two cups of coffee."

I laughed nervously. "I don't like coffee much."

"Seriously? I would die without coffee." Ashley slumped back on her chair tiredly.

"Same. I miss my double espresso shot." Meryl leaned her head on her hand and sighing. "Why's our schedule this early, anyway? I don't think Charlie's even awake yet."

"Last I checked, he's still snoring enough to cause an avalanche." Alex laughed, spearing another sausage with his fork.

The three went on along to complain about their early schedule while I was confused as hell in my seat. I didn't know what they're talking about.

What schedule? Did I miss something?

I felt a nudge on my other side and saw Maia winking playfully at me. "I'm not a coffee drinker too. I couldn't take the strong taste well. I love milk tea though."

"For real? I love milk tea." I smiled. "But whenever I buy one, I make sure to exclude the pearls."

"Pearls? You mean boba? I like those!"

"I don't like it much. I prefer to drink, not chew through it."

Maia and I then went to talk about different kinds of milk teas and shared our favorites. In hindsight, I think she's searching for some common ground with me to make me more comfortable in their presence.

In the middle of our aimless but enjoyable chat, a member of their support team suddenly informed them that they would be leaving soon.

"Wait, what about Charlie?" Alex asked, finishing his meal and drinking juice.

Meryl was on her phone then she hung up. "He's already on the bus. There's no time, said he'll skip breakfast. Can we bring something to him?" she asked the support team member, who told her that they already ordered some sandwich for takeout.

Did they rent a practice rink somewhere?

"When's your schedule?" Ashley asked me.

"Wh... what schedule?"

She got a weird look on her face before she snorted in mirth. "Schedule? Practice? You know, NHK rink?"

"Wait, we have a schedule? I don't know what my schedule is." I shook my head, bewildered. "They already handed out schedules?"

"Yeah, they told us late last night," Maia said.

"Oh no." I checked my pockets and found out that I didn't bring my phone. "Excuse me, I better check with my coach."

"Ok, see you."

"Bye!"

Waving at them, I brisk walked out of the restaurant and into the lobby. I noticed that skaters from different federations had arrived as well, unlike yesterday when I was the lone skater. I couldn't find any of my team there so I opted to go back to my hotel room.

Arriving at my floor, I made a mad dash towards the hall. "Sorry!" I exclaimed as I saw some members of my team knocking on my door and ringing the doorbell.

*****

Hours of training had passed and we were back at the hotel once again. It was a close call, I almost wasn't able to attend the practice slot allotted to me.

So, here I was, relaxing in my bathtub. I submerged beneath the water for a few seconds before I came back up to take in a long-desired air. I closed my eyes and laid my head back. I've been here for nearly an hour now, the originally warm water was starting to get cold. Not to mention my fingers, it was starting to look all wrinkly.

I picked up my phone that was placed near the edge of the tub and saw that there was no reply to my messages. Grumbling, I got out of the tub, drained it, and took a quick cold shower.

I wonder what he's up to?

It's already 8:46 pm. I half expected Yuzuru to burst out from some random corner, another half of me knew that there's a high probability that he wouldn't arrive for a few more days. I was fine either way but he should at least answer my messages.

I involuntarily pouted as I dried my hair and changed into decent clothing.

Coach Brian and other members of the team already had dinner. I was supposed to join them earlier but my headache was pounding then. That's why I let them know that they could go on ahead without me since I wanted to rest for a bit.

Even though I wasn't that hungry, I knew I would regret it if I didn't get at least a bite or two in. I headed to the restaurant again where the free buffet was located and saw that it was surprisingly filled to the brim with athletes, support teams, and organizers alike. It seemed that I wasn't the only one who opted for a late dinner.

I stalled by the entrance and couldn't find a vacant table. In the far corner, I noticed that Team USA occupied several tables and a bunch of people that I didn't know was currently happily chatting with Ashley and the others.

Should I...?

The immediate answer within my head was no.

I could handle meeting a few people but dozens were a bit too much for my awkward self. Shifting in my spot, I glanced around the restaurant once more and then backed out. I decided to eat outside the hotel.

Racking my head if there was a convenience store nearby or maybe some fast food chain, I zipped up my forest green jacket and lowered my black baseball cap to hide my face from any spectators. I noticed that plenty of fans had also checked in this hotel, or simply visited the hotel for the chance to meet the athletes.

Not to sound conceited or anything, but I didn't want to be recognized tonight. I wasn't as popular as the other senior skaters who had been in the senior field longer than I was, that's for sure. However, I may be recognized by people who focused on other less popular skaters. I didn't want to leave anything to chance.

Checking the placement of my phone and wallet, I greeted the cool, night air of Japan. Night has fallen hours ago and now the city lights were in full bloom.

"-is she?"

"-looks familiar."

I overheard a conversation nearby causing me to peek at them. Two young women were glancing at my direction, cameras in hand. I ducked my head and put my hands in my jacket pockets before walking away in the opposite direction.

Slumping my form slightly in an attempt to blend with the sparse crowd, I walked in a relaxed pace so as to not attract attention. I could hear them hesitantly following after me for a few minutes judging by their confused mutterings. Finally, after a couple of blocks, they stopped following me, somehow certain that I wasn't a skater.

Heart hammering in my chest, I let out a relieved sigh. I knew I should be grateful that someone potentially recognized me and that there were plenty of fans in the figure skating community but I wanted a relaxing night and a time of my own.

Blue light reflected my form due to the multicolored advertisements showing on the screens. The people up and about minded their own business, some were darting forth as if they're going to be late to something while others were casually strolling around, taking in the delightful sights that a night in Nagoya could offer.

Spotting a convenience store, I immediately headed there. I better not go too far. An overhead bell sounded when I pushed open the heavy paneled door. Walking down the different isles, I checked my phone again.

No reply.

An inexplicable sense of sadness came down at me. Incredulity followed after.

I considered myself an independent woman. In the past few years, I lived alone intermittently whenever my parents were needed in the company. Gradually, my parents started giving me more space and responsibility in a way. It became a way of living. In Canada, I was still under the supervision of my parents via my aunt, but they trusted me enough to live on my own as long as I get in contact with my aunt every now and then.

I became used to living alone, cooking my own food, doing my own laundry, cleaning my own house, and paying my own rent. That's why I was incredulous with the way I was feeling.

The way I clung to the notion of Yuzuru.

It was only now that I realized how affected I was with Yuzuru's presence. We haven't seen each other for months but we were always in contact by way of messages and calls. It's very startling for me because I never clung to anyone like this before.

I felt guilty.

Guilty because I didn't like how my messages were left unanswered. It was selfish of me to think like this. It became even more pronounced because of how I felt left out and out of place with other skaters. I became spoilt with the attention I've been receiving from him. Maybe he's not replying because he felt tired of me constantly bothering him, or maybe he just ran out of battery.

More and more, it felt like I was monopolizing Yuzuru's time.

He's always been such an outgoing and friendly person. Making friends was like breathing air when it comes to him. For me, the process was difficult like wading through sticky mud.

My brows furrowed as these depressing thoughts pervaded. Shaking my head, I forego the idea of eating out. I grabbed a few instant ramen, some onigiri, and random chips and carbonated drinks. I paid at the cashier before heading back to the hotel whilst carrying my plastic bag of carbs galore.

Lowering my baseball cap and ducking my head, I entered the hotel entrance amidst the crowd of fans. It was only when I was alone in the confines of the elevator did I slump back and took off my cap. I stayed still for a moment in the unmoving elevator to get my thoughts together. A crinkle of plastic was heard, I was about to press my floor then I halted. In a split second decision, I pressed the floor where the luxurious lounge and balcony was located.

Placing my cap in my plastic bag, I hung the plastic bag around my wrist and swayed it lazily as I walked around the mini landscape garden. This was such a fancy hotel. Usually, the gardens were ground level, but the location of this garden was high up on the 7th floor. Going to the railings, I placed both my arms on the steel barriers and rested my head on top of them.

The city of Nagoya was beautiful, it was comprised of cars zooming by to and fro leaving red and yellow lights intermixing from a distance, and people interacting with each other, walking by the sidewalks, entering alleyways, or just stopping by to chat with someone.

Shivering as a sudden gust of cold wind went by, I straightened my posture and rubbed my arms. Suddenly, the familiar scent of wood and rain pervaded my senses when an oversized coat was placed over my shoulders and I was engulfed in a warm and comfortable embrace. The sides of our cheeks touched each other as he nuzzled me playfully, not a hint of space was left as his firm chest was pressed against my back, and his arms firmly yet gently encircled my waist.

With the steel railing in front, and this oversized brat stuck at my back, I was officially caught between a hard place and an even harder place.

"I thought you won't arrive for a few more days."

"Why? I made you a promise," he said, swiftly kissing my cheek with a loud smooch. "I keep my promises, you know that." He winked at me.

My hand, along with the loud sound of crinkling plastic, automatically touched the site he kissed. I tried to scowl at him but it ultimately failed as I found humor in the situation. His phoenix eyes, narrowed into a smile, glanced away from mine and curiously examined the plastic bag around my wrist.

"Dinner." I waved my wrist with the plastic bag as explanation.

"Good thinking, let's eat."

"Huh? You didn't have dinner yet?"

"I was waiting for you. Well, searching all over for you is the right term."

I gave him an unamused glance. "One simple call will resolve that."

"I wanted to surprise you, but you weren't in your room." At my questioning expression, he explained further, "Your mom told me where your hotel room is. The power of social media."

"Wow," I gushed out, sarcastically nodding my head. "You're friends with my mom now."

"Don't think I don't know that you're chatting with my mom also."

"Say one word about my shenanigans to my mom... you're in for it, Hanyu."

"Hai, hai." He turned me around in his arms, held my cheeks in his warm hands, and kissed my forehead. Before I could react in my stunned state, he embraced me tightly again. Slowly and hesitantly, my hands wrapped around him and I eventually embraced him back.  We stayed like that for a while.

This wasn't the first time Yuzuru had thrown me off my usual axis. I love being in control of myself, that's why this state of confusion and uncertainty that he's constantly unbalancing me with... I didn't know what to think of it.

What I knew was that I was somehow treading into dangerous grounds.

I cleared my throat and separated from him, subtly pushing him away. "Let's go back. My wrist is starting to numb." I gave him a short smile along with my weak excuse.

Yuzuru smiled in return, taking off the plastic bag from my wrist.

We went to my hotel room and prepared two cups of ramen. Good thing I bought a bunch of onigiri and sodas. We munched on them as we waited for the ramen to be done. Ever since what happened earlier, I was hyper-aware of Yuzuru's presence. Whenever he came near me, I would retreat a couple of steps back. Whenever he sat beside me, I would somehow find something to do just to get away.

I think he noticed. He didn't say anything or do anything about it. He just sat on the bed, watching, as I busied myself unnecessarily with the cups of ramen that we both know would take a couple of minutes still for it to be ready.

I knew I was acting foolish. I knew that he knew how rattled I was. But it didn't stop my low-key avoidance.

The grounds I was in felt threatening and dangerous.

"It's ready," I said, bringing the cups of ramen and setting it down on the small round table on the corner of the room with two armchairs surrounding it. We took a sit, Yuzuru set down our soda and chopsticks on the table. I couldn't face him, that's why with jolty movements, I opened my steaming hot ramen and ate it using the chopsticks. "Ah! hot! hot! hot!"

I stupidly burned my tongue, so here I was, hanging my tongue out and blowing out while waving my hands on it. One of my most mortifying moments yet. In front of Yuzuru, no less.

Alarmed, Yuzuru quickly stood up, opened a soda and quickly handed it over. "Aish! You know it's hot! Baka!" Yuzuru admonished me, concern predominant on his voice as he held my shoulders, panicking on what else to do. My mouth was filled with ice-cold soda so I could only look at him with watery downcast eyes.

Seeing how pitiful I look with bulging flushed cheeks and watery eyes, Yuzuru lost his composure and burst out laughing. I pushed him away in annoyance. "You- you look like a hamster."

I crossed my arms and scowlingly looked away from him, still with bulging cheeks. Trying to round up his laughter, he went to the condiments table inside the room, I peeked at him from the corner of my eyes, curious on what he's doing. When he turned back to me, I quickly looked away again.

He kneeled in front of my sitting form. I refused to look at him but he poked my cheek and I nearly spat the soda in my mouth. Glaring furiously in embarrassment, I shot him a dark look.

"Swallow it," Yuzuru commanded.

I hesitated because my tongue was still hot. "Quickly, swallow it." Yuzuru was insistent so I swallowed the soda in my mouth. Instantly, I felt the burn. "Here, put this in your mouth." Yuzuru handed me a small open package. It was sugar.

"Trust me on this one," he said, answering my silent question. "It helps a lot. Place the sugar on the burn site."

With no other choice or alternative, I did as he told me. It was uncomfortable and the sweetness was weird. Surprisingly, after a few moments, the burn really did ease. "Ever thought of becoming a doctor?"

"I may like reading," Yuzuru began, smirking at me, "but I'm not that studious."

"Could've fooled me, you had a bunch of those cogni-something magazines under your bed."

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..........M.E.R.I.D.I.A.N......L.I.G.H.T.S..........

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(Weird facts about me: I hate reading slow burn and teen fiction with gusto.)

(I have no idea why I'm writing a novella revolving around these two facts...)

(Elana is quite prone to overthinking. Yuzuru hinted about knowing it in Glimpse I, if you can still remember.)

(If you liked this chapter, please leave a vote and/or a comment. It would mean a lot to me, thank you!~)