{irl}
flashback to the triplets leaving for LA!!
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Iris couldn't believe it was officially the last night with her best friends. She would never admit it to them, but she was terrified. She didn't like change, especially when three of the biggest people in her life are leaving.

For now she will put on a happy face for them. She refused to give them a reason to stay.

As one last get together, Iris, Matt, Nick, Blake, and Chris decided to have a sleepover in Matt's room.

Normally their parents didn't agree with the idea of a sleepover, but they made one exception for tonight only.

They sat and talked and laughed for hours, reminiscing on old favorite memories and embarrassing moments. It was bittersweet, none of them mentioning the pain of tomorrow.

Nick and Chris used a blow up mattress, while Matt allowed Iris and Blake to take his bed, letting himself create a palette of blankets and sheets on the floor.

"I hate to be the one to end things, but i'm exhausted" Chris says, walking over to cue the lights as everyone slides into bed. Once seeing that everybody was settled, he flipped the lights and went to his own side of the air mattress.

"Goodnight" Blake calls into the air

"Goodnight" Everyone responds in unison

The room was dark and silent, slowing filling up with snores. No matter how much she twisted and turned, Iris couldn't go to sleep.

She kept thinking about tomorrow.

In no way, shape, or form did she want to say goodbye. She has known Matt, Chris, and Nick since she was a little girl, and the memories they share are incredible. They were genuinely the biggest people in her life and she was unsure how she would do this without them. Without Matt.

Things are going to be so different without Matt. Her best friend. He is always the first person to give her a shoulder to cry on, and supply a joke and a hug to dry her tears. He is always the first person to make sure she is really okay. Matt was everything a best friend could want.

But, he's leaving.

Iris felt guilty wishing they would stay. She wishes nothing had to change. At the same time, she was excited to see them accomplish their dreams.

"Can't sleep?" Matt whispers from the ground near her "I hear snores from Chris and Nick, none from you"

"Yeah I guess so" Iris quietly giggles "Suppose you couldn't either?"

Matt shakes his head and stares at her. He will miss her. He can't imagine how different things will be without Iris around, he didn't want to imagine. But, he did feel guilty. Guilt ran through his core when he realized that he had a sense of relief that this distance apart would mean his crush would dissolve. He didn't want to forget her, and he never would. But unreciprocated love just hurts.

"Got room for one more?" Matt asks, receiving a nod from Iris. He slides under the cover in front of her, being greeted with two brown eyes.

"Can I admit something?" Matt whispers and draws closer to her

Their faces were only inches apart, flooded by the darkness of the room and the light snores of Chris and Nick.

"You can always tell me anything" Iris responds. She messes with the corner of his pillow

"I'm afraid."

Iris smiles small, obviously confused "Afraid of what?"

"What if I miss the mark?? Or what if i'm getting everything wrong and this isn't it? I'm just...I thought this is what I wanted" He whispers, a hint of disappointment and anxiousness in his words lingering around the two.

"Matt" She responds, pulling him into her embrace and looking up at him again "It's okay to be scared of your dreams. I think that's what makes us human. Besides, if you decide Los Angeles isn't for you...I'll always be here waiting" She smiles "You're doing great"
She grabs his hand firmly, indicating her devotion to helping him through this. Her hands were cold and sent shivers down Matt's spine. To Matt, holding her hand was romantic, but he knew she didn't feel the same way.

"You promise?" Matt asks

"I promise" Iris agrees

Slowly, they fell asleep in the embrace of each other, enjoying the last time they have together before everything changes.

Waking up the next morning, the pit in Iris's stomach grew bigger realizing what was soon to happen. She woke up alone, with Matt, Chris, and Nick packing their bags around her. Blake was beside her scrolling through something on her phone.

"Good morning!" Chris waves, noticing her observing them

"Nobody thought to wake me up?" Iris laughs, sitting straight up and wiping her sleepy eyes

"Figured you would want the extra minutes. We have only been awake about maybe ten. It took fucking everything in me to not lay down and go back to sleep, so be glad" Nick remarks

Iris smiles and rolls her eyes, standing up from the bed with a stretch.

"I uh..." Blake starts, standing up also "I hate goodbyes" She admits

"It's not goodbye" Nick responds "But I do too"

"I don't think I can watch you leave, no offense. I've got to go before this is any harder" Blake says with a sigh, hugging each of the triplets individually before leaving the room

The pit in Iris's stomach grew deeper as she realized that the time had come.

"Good morning! Is everyone packed, we need to start loading the car." MaryLou states, popping her head into the room with a smile

They grab their bags and head down the stairs, and out the door. Iris stands and watches as reality sinks in. The cold breeze to the air set the mood.

MaryLou and Jimmy hop in the car once packing the suitcases, leaving them to say their goodbyes.

Chris was the first to confront Iris, hands in his pockets with uncertainty. "I know I wasn't the best at telling you...but, you have always been the friend I needed" Chris admits

"Chris" She whispers with tears in her eyes, she pulls him in a tight hug wrapping her arms around his waist, he tightens the hug by pulling her closer and platonically kissing the top of her head "Thank you for being on my side always. I know this is cliche..." She chuckles small with a sniff, trying to hold herself together "But please, please... never change. You are a good fucking person, Chris Sturniolo"

"I will always be on your side, to the moon and back" He squeezes her "You always have a home when you're with me" Chris separates the hug and smiles at her before taking his seat in the car

Nick steps up to her once seeing she was free, causing the tears in Iris's eyes to swell bigger. He pulls her into a deep embrace.

"Please watch out for yourself, and please for Chris and Matt. You've been my anchor for my entire life." Iris says, nuzzling her head into his chest

"Please don't say goodbye" Nick states, tears in his own eyes "I have a feeling this isn't goodbye"

"How about a see you soon?" Iris quietly chuckles, again with a sniff

"See you soon, friend" They smile at each other with one last look as he joins Chris in the car

That left Matt.
Neither of them wanted to do this.

Matt was the last to pull her into a hug. Their figures fit perfectly together, with her arms wrapped around his neck and his around her lower back. He rests his chin downward to be able to see her face. As he was staring at her, he admired her beautiful complexion, despite the tears that finally swell down her face.

"We don't have to say anything" Matt whispers in her ear, tightening the hug

So, that's exactly what they did. For several minutes they cherished the close embrace in silence, knowing that reality states this is goodbye.

"You are going to miss the flight if we don't leave soon" Jimmy calls from the car, loaded with several suitcases and a running engine

Iris looks up at Matt, staring directly into his kind eyes, him not removing his gaze from her brown eyes.

"You're the closest thing i've allowed to me in a long time, Matt" Iris whispers, running her thumb over the quiet tear falling down his cheek "I promise this isn't the end"

"I promise to be there when you search for me"

They slowly pull away from the hug as Matt takes his spot in the car, taking one last glance at his best friend he has had a crush on for years before the car pulls out of the driveway.

Distance after distance, the distinct figure of the car disappears. Iris was left standing there alone on the cold sidewalk, not knowing where to go from here.

In that moment Iris didn't know if there was a feeling worse than losing the three closest people to you and watching them slowly fade into the distance.