As the days go by I did my best day to avoid Niall at all cost. I pick the mail early than him, if the mail has been switched than I put in his mail box, so I wouldn't have to speak to him. I feel strange not being able to hear his Irish voice again, or his contagious laugh that made me smile like an idiot.

What's even more weird is that, he's been trying his best to talk to me. Maybe he feels bad for me, but I won't accept his pity. The word he spoke about me has stung my heart deeply. If I avoid him completely maybe I can over my attraction towards him.

I lay lazy in bed putting the covers over my head, as I feel annoyed that I'm thinking about Niall. I wish their was a switch to turn off your feelings, it would make my non existent life easier.

I always wonder what it would be like to not be awkward towards people, or like have a decent conversation with someone without making the other person feeling bored with me. Maybe I'm just a mistake that wasn't supposed to be born.

My dad enters my room wearing all black. That's when it hit me. I raced into my closet quickly putting on my black suit and tie with matching black shoes. I never forgotten today's date and I feel extremely terrible for not remembering. I followed my dad downstairs and into the car.

****

I find the cemetery oddly peaceful which sounds weird, but it is. It's where the dead stay or where ever they off go to. I stand next to my dad, as we both stare at the tombstone of my mother.

Today's the anniversary of her death when she gave birth to me. Which is also my birthday. I never celebrate my birthday, it doesn't feel right when I killed my own mother during childbirth. There's not a day goes by that I wish, I could speak to her just once.

I fall on my knees and hug the tombstone and sob. It wasn't fair that she had to die. I never got to know my own mother, Trisha. I've seen countless of Polaroids and homemade videos. I wish for the same thing every year to hear her voice once, but it never comes true.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"What are you sorry for?" My father asked kneeling down hugging me from the side.

"For killing her, if I wasn't born than she would be alive." I croaked.

"Zayn you have to realize that, your mother wanted to you live. She wanted you to experience life and to fall in love. See what life can offer you. Your mother doesn't hate you, nor do I. Stop blaming yourself for her death, it was never your fault."

"But."

"No but Zayn! No one is blaming you. I as your father love your mother very deeply and I love you as well. There's no changing the past, but I've got to see what is like being a father and it's thrilling to call you my son."

"R-Really?" I asked sniffling, as he rub my back.

"Of course. I'm proud of you Zayn." My father says hugging me. I don't know how long we stayed in this embrace, but I felt a cold feeling around us, like a hug.

"You feel that?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's most likely your mother."

"Hi mom. If that's you, I wanted to say I love you and thank you for giving birth to me." I say out loud.

"I love you too, Zayn. Happy Birthday." A feminine voice whispered faintly.

"D-Did y-you hear t-that?" I suffer looking around.

"No, what did you hear?"

"She says she loves me back and said happy birthday!" I cried out in joy.

"That's wonderful son and happy birthday." My father praised patting my back. We head back home and I go to my room with a smile that won't leave my face.

Finally my wish came true.

___________________________

Poor Zaynie, but he finally got his birthday wish :)

Happy New Year's Eve :)

Some Ziall next chapter.

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