It damaged me that Me and Chris were speaking with so much unsaid between us, words that were never said would be the death of us.

The tension between us was very intense almost like a boarder between two.

Chris decided to say something.
"Kiyomi what are you playing?" he looked over her shoulder looking at the game she was fidgeting with.
"what do you think?"

she looked at him with annoyance as if he was trying to be annoying to her. his eyes softened feeling bad for tryna to break the silence.

"oh I'm stupid sorry" he brushed it off but hated the tone used when she spoke.
"mhm" she left him alone at the couch, she didn't look back. but his eyes were still on her as she walked away.

I looked at him when he was staring in space, I didn't want to be mean to him I just wanted to distract myself from the way I felt about chris.

I didn't know if I loved him but it was only hurting our friendship in the long run.
eventually he left the room.
"Kiyomi talk to him please?"
"What do I even say to him? I don't know what I want with him? that is so complicated to understand and I don't even understand my own feelings Aliza."
"I'm sure he'll understand please? you two have a great friendship and being friends while the other loves the other person especially one sided or not it's hard to remain friends."
"okay" kiyomi knew she had to say what came to her mind and headed into the room.

"can i sit here?" i looked at her and smile slowly scooting over.
"Kiyomi I'm sorry if i was being annoying today"

"what? no you weren't being annoying, you tried to talk to me and i was being mean to you chris"

"about the kiss, what happened to us being friends?"
"I don't know chris, we let it get in between us and you got in your head about it almost causing our friendship"

"please don't do that. I tried talking to you earlier and you completely ignored me, I said I was sorry for kissing you even though it was what I wanted"

"well have you ever tried figuring out what I wanted?"

"I thought you knew what you wanted kiyomi. ever since you came along I felt alive. I felt happy with you until you got confused with how you were feeling. even if it happened for one moment I felt alive and all I wanted was you, all of you. when I said i liked you you should've just left me but you stayed and I knew you cared too. just say you don't love me and I'll leave"
"I don't know what to say chris"
chris left and went outside.

"kiyomi what the hell happened, why were you two arguing?"
"I messed up nick"

She ran upstairs to cool down, she didn't know how to respond real love. It was evident their friendship was broken and foreshadowed the end of their relationship if it ever came along. They wanted things to be normal again but they were too bitter to put their pride aside.

I'm sitting in his room, it smells like him the scent I smelt when I first met him. I smiled to myself forgetting why I'm in here. I look around there were poem along the wall by his bed. I read them all they were about me.

I looked at one that had "limerence" written as the title.

Rewritten stories among
is love real or not?
Is it a state of being
or a feeling.

But that is unknown
but I know that I loved you
more than I said so
a part of me can't seem
to let you go.

I still feel the same way
I felt about you
But when you ask me
how do I feel
my mouth is dry
as a dune
because I know you'll
forget about me soon.

-Chris.

He wasn't lying to me about anything he said, he wrote about me since we were in high school. my heart shifted and I knew exactly what I wanted with Chris, I wanted him and everything that he had to offer. How did could he feel that way about me still after all this time?

"all I can think about is Kiyomi, how much effort I put into her."
"maybe that effort was worth it Chris."
"come on Matt I don't need one of your lectures, she doesn't love me okay?"
"okay Chris i understand."
Matt looked at Chris, he wanted the same story to align in the end as it did with him but love stories were different depending on how you perceive the touch of a hand, he never lost hope that eventually they would find their way again.

"Matt, where is Kiyomi?"
"She ran upstairs after it happened, you are gonna talk to each other for real this time?"
"I'm ready"
"Please do and let us know what happens"
"okay, thanks Matt"

I read every last word, the print that explained his true feelings. He wrote every features, aspect and detail about me, I never knew Chris was so attentive. I moved on to the next one but I hear someone heading up the stairs so I rush to the end of the bed. it was Chris.

"oh hey."
"hi Chris, sorry about being in your room."
"no it's fine, I just wanna talk no arguing this time"
"Chris i just wanna say i do feel the same, you think I don't. I thought I didn't but I remember what I felt when we first met and honestly me being with you has been the best thing ever. You are such a ray of sunshine and I'm thankful for you, for our friendship and everything we've built" he didn't hesitate to hug me.
"I was waiting for you to say that"
"I'm sorry for everything"
"it's okay Kiyomi."
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