*Trigger Warnings*
•Includes: Death, Attempted Death, Suicide, Pills, Drinking, Lying.

*READ AT YOUR OWN RISK, I POSTED WARNINGS, DON'T REPORT*

...

Michelle

Part 1-... Amelia had known her for a couple of years. Since high school and Med School actually. Her mother had Huntington's Disease- (Cognitive: amnesia, delusion, lack of concentration, memory loss, mental confusion, slowness in activity, or difficulty thinking and understanding
Muscular: abnormality walking, increased muscle activity, involuntary movements, problems with coordination, loss of muscle, or muscle spasms
Behavioral: compulsive behavior, fidgeting, irritability, or lack of restraint
Psychological: delirium, depression, hallucination, or paranoia
Mood: anxiety, apathy, or mood swings
Also common: tremor, weight loss, or impaired voice".)

... Michelle's Mother had died from it. She went through Hell and back. But in the end it looked even worse. Michelle didn't know if she would have the gene a couple years later. ... Five Years Later she comes to visit Amelia. Amelia told her she should find out. There was a 50-50 chance that she would have it or not. Odds aren't great, but it's something. Michelle was reluctant- she didn't want to know. Amelia drew some blood and sent it to the Lab ... About an hour ish later, the results came back. (Michelle did have it but Amelia lied to her to keep her safe. Because Michelle told her if she did have it that she would kill herself). ... Amelia couldn't imagine losing her. The girl was basically her sister. "You don't have it". Amelia smiled. 

... But later on after some convincing from a few other Doctors in the Practice. Amelia told her. It wasn't what she wanted, but did the best for her patient. ... Michelle decided to take a trip before her symptoms would start. Maybe go to Italy and Rome. 🇮🇹

... Six Months Later (5x05 "Step One". Michelle returned from her trip. She invited Amelia to lunch. She had small spasms in her arm and she stuttered a little. "When did it start?". Amelia asked. "Six Months Ago". Michelle replied. "Don't worry Amelia, I'm not afraid. I'm ready to die". She whispered across the table and to keep her voice low. "I know... I promised". Amelia sighed.

... (Flashback- Six Months Ago)-
Amelia showed up on Michelle's door stop) "Why would you give up Rocky Road ice cream before you have to?. Or swimming in the ocean. Or driving. God, driving with the top down on a sunny day, that has got to be worth living for...". "And when the time comes. I'll even kill you myself". Amelia smirked. She knew she couldn't keep her here forever but the time she did have. She'd treasure it!

... (Present): ... Amelia had brought back the stuff. Was she really going to go through with it?. Killing her best friend?. It's what Michelle wanted. Amelia was mentally preparing herself for what was about to happen. Michelle looked at her. "So what happens after I'm gone?". She asked. Amelia looked at her. Inside she was shaking, but she couldn't let Michelle see her tremble. Her voice shakily replies, "I'll call the police". "I'll tell them I found you". Michelle replied. "And they'll think I took pills?". Amelia nodded and handed her the bottle of pills and told her to put her fingerprints on it. She then took the napkin around it without touching the bottle and sprinkled a few pills around the table and the couch.

... Michelle asked if she should just take the pills, but Amelia told her if she did she could end up in a irreversible coma or with really bad liver damage. ... "I don't want to get you in trouble". Michelle kept looking at her. "I don't want you to suffer". ... Amelia then got out a plastic container filled with medicine. It looks like she was going to go through with it. She opened the container and got out the needles, she was shaking. Michelle had a couple of small spasms while waiting for her to get everything ready, (nothing major).

...

"First, I'll inject a benzo to help relax you".
"Then a barbiturate". "It'll put you under".
"And finally potassium chloride". "It'll stop your heart".

Amelia helped Michelle get comfortable on the couch while she got the benzo ready. ... This was really it. ... Michelle thanked her. Amelia could almost see the relief in her eyes, and mixed with a little fear. But she really wanted this. Amelia readied the benzo in her hand, she was shaking. Amelia's hand was shaking. Tears rolled down her eyes, she didn't want to it. But she had to- for Michelle. Michelle's spasms continued and Amelia looked her in the eyes and told her that she Loved her. Michelle told her that she Knew.

Amelia voice broke, softly- almost child like. "If.. If you see my dad, you tell him I said "Hi" okay". ... Michelle replied. "Maybe I'll fix him up with my Mom". Both of the girls chuckled for a brief moment before grasping what really was happening. ... Amelia injected the Benzo into Michelle's arm. She slowly calmed down. Almost relieved. ... Michelle gasped for air and asked what was happening. Amelia told her that she might be having an allergic reaction. "I'll keep going okay, this Barbiturate will calm down your central nervous system". Amelia explained, as she readied the next step. Michelle told her stop and that's what Amelia did. Michelle went unconscious and Amelia gave her CPR. "What the hell did I just do?". Amelia's thought ran through her mind. "Why did I go through with this?". "Why?".

... Amelia called 911 and they quickly got there. She rode in the ambulance with Michelle and Pete was on call, Amelia explained what happened. That she found Michelle and that Michelle had did this to herself. But Pete knew the truth. He told Amelia to stay out of the way while he tried to save Michelle's life. ... But Amelia didn't sit in the waiting room, she couldn't. She left and went home. If Michelle died, she couldn't be there to hear the news, it wasn't cruel. But Amelia couldn't live with herself if it happened.

                                   ...

-Part 2: Amelia had went home. She didn't know what to do. She was thinking the worse about Michelle, that she was really dead. She couldn't just sit in the Hospital Waiting Room for the news. She needed to get out of there. ... Later Sheldon had came back to her place (Addison's). He knocked on the door. "Amelia, I know you're in there. I saw your car". She heard Sheldon's exact words through the closed door. Sheldon told her to open the door because he wasn't leaving until she did. Amelia kind of sat there drifting off into space before she got up and unlocked the door, his knocking had became persistent. "Are you crazy, Are you actually clinically insane?". Sheldon asked. "Did you actually do this thing?. Because I didn't think you were actually stupid enough to go through with it?". His words raced through her mind. ... Sheldon went on about what she did and he should report her but he wouldn't. "What is wrong with you?". "Why are so self-destructive?". ... Amelia just stared into his eyes, like she wasn't really there. Just the shell of the person she once knew. What was wrong with her?. Why was she going Dark again?. Ten Years.... she was sober. Ten Years... Not even a pill. And now she couldn't even make it past thirty days.

"She's not dead, she's alive?". Amelia asked.
"She's alive!", Sheldon replied.

Amelia sank to her knees and broke down. What the Hell did she do?. Would she ever do this for someone again, even though it was morally and ethically wrong?. She risked her Medical License, Her Career, Her Soul, What made her- who she was. Amelia Shepherd wasn't a killer, She's a Neurosurgeon that Saves Life's. ... Sheldon held her as her heart broke, something about him just seemed safe. ... After a little while he decided to leave, told her she should go see Michelle.

... Amelia nodded and went to go throw on some clothes, make it look like she didn't look like a crazy person. ... She headed to the Hospital and found Michelle's room, avoiding Pete at all costs. ... She helped Michelle into the wheel chair, Michelle's body crumbled. It was so weak, she could barely stand. Michelle apologized and said she was sorry. Amelia knew she was but told her not to apologize. "Hey, you don't have to figure it out today or tomorrow for that matter". Amelia told her. Michelle replied and said she didn't know what happened. Why or If she panicked about dying. But Amelia was just happy that Michelle was alive. (For Now Anyways)...

"I know it's not easy being alone. Your Mom had you, you have.. Me. You can even move in if you want". Amelia asked. Her soft spoken words were sincere. She knew that "One Day" Michelle would eventually die. But it meant everything to cherish the time that she had left. Michelle said she wouldn't want to. "I know it doesn't compare to what you're going through. But. I struggle too, Every Day". "You'd be helping me too". She smiled.

"Pills?". Michelle asked.
"Booze". Amelia replied. "I'm branching out". She chuckled a little. "I'm sorry. I didn't know". Michelle replied. "Hey. You don't have to be sorry. So. We're both screwed up. We can be there for each other. ... Like some kind of messed up buddy system". Amelia said. "You know. I won't drink today, if you don't kill yourself!". Both of them smiled and laughed a little. "Deal?". Amelia asked. "Deal". Michelle smiled. ... (But little did Amelia know. Michelle would kill her self anyways). ...

...

-Memory, (Added In Of What I Think)...
"Old Times"...

Amelia helped Michelle into her car and headed back to Michelle's house. Amelia could tell she was weak. Her body was giving up. But hopefully her Mind would make it, fight off her bad thoughts.

"You know. I'll come over later and check on you. Do you want anything to eat before I take you home?: Burger, Fries, Shake?". Amelia asked. Michelle chuckled a little. "Soup?". Amelia offered. "Burger sounds nice". Michelle laughed. ... Amelia could tell that her eyes kept drifting off into space. Not sleep. But space. She was thinking about something, But was that something good or bad?. (Amelia would never know)... But for now all she could do was be there for her best friend.

Amelia nodded and stopped at a place and ordered through the Drive Thru. She pulled over in the Parking Lot and she and Michelle sat and ate and talked. It was nice. Maybe things would looking up for the better. Maybe she would be okay for a while. She even turned on some Music and they Danced for a little bit and sang, just like old times.

"You know. It's getting late". Michelle said. "I know". Amelia replied. "Maybe you should take me back home and I'll rest up and you can come check on me later?". She asked. "Okay". Amelia smiled. ... She didn't want to take her back. She was worried. ...

Amelia took her home and helped her get settled in her room. The place still had pills all over the floor from earlier. "Here". Amelia smiled and gave her her Meds. "Do you need anything else?". Amelia asked. "No. I have everything. Extra Food. Blankets. My Meds. "I'm okay Amelia, you can go". Michelle told her. Amelia nodded and hugged her and told her she loved her.

... (this would be the last memory they have together). ... Amelia swept the floor with the pills on it. Just to clean up a little. She wanted to do something nice. "Michelle, I'm leaving!". Amelia yelled on her way out. "Okay". Michelle yelled back as Amelia closed the door. 

...

-Part 3: The End.

A couple hours later Amelia came back to check on her friend. "Hey Michelle!. Get in here. We're doing a girls night in". Amelia smiled. It was sure to cheer her up after what had happened today. "I got the Rocky Road and a DVD of the Second Twilight movie, The one with all the hot Werewolf's". Amelia laughed to herself. Hot guys should cheer any girl up. Well mostly anyways. "Michelle?". Amelia called out. Michelle didn't answer. Amelia sighed and turned around to go to Michelle's room. "Maybe she's still asleep?". Amelia thought to herself. But that wasn't the case. The worse case scenario came true. Amelia saw her (Michelle's) bare feet on the bed, Amelia followed the feet. But Michelle wasn't asleep. Amelia just stared. She found her like this, Michelle was uncovered on the bed, her body laid in a deep trance, her lips as Dark Blue as the night sky. ... Amelia felt tears form in her eyes, but she didn't cry. She did what she had to do. She called 911 and reported the incident like the good doctor she was.

"She had a degenerative disease that was progressing rapidly. It was painful and she was taking OxyContin". "Those bottles hold 30 pills, I found them on the bedside beside her". Amelia said, while she held her wine glass in her hand full of wine. She knew she shouldn't been drinking but what's the point. Michelle was gone. Who cares?.

"She got half of them down, she didn't last long". Amelia told the investigator. She turned up her glass a little. "You all right, Dr. Shepherd?". The male investigator asked. "You have uh someone you can call?". "I'm alright". Amelia replied. "You sure?". He asked. "No", Amelia told him. "I miss my friend". "So no, I'm not alright". Amelia said again. "But I will be, I'll be fine". She told him. He nodded and left.

Amelia sat there contemplating what had happened. She secretly had a couple of pills in her hand from the bottle that Michelle had. After the investigator left. She swallowed them and followed the chase with the rest of her red wine. The taste was all too familiar again. Maybe she could be okay... in due time. Or was this just the beginning down that Dark road again.