"Sᴇᴇᴍs ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʏᴇsᴛᴇʀᴅᴀʏ
Yᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴀ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏғ ᴍᴇ
I ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀɴᴅ sᴏ ᴛᴀʟʟ
I ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ sᴏ sᴛʀᴏɴɢ
Yᴏᴜʀ ᴀʀᴍs ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴛɪɢʜᴛ
Eᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ, ɪᴛ ғᴇʟᴛ sᴏ ʀɪɢʜᴛ
Uɴʙʀᴇᴀᴋᴀʙʟᴇ, ʟɪᴋᴇ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴ' ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ɢᴏ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ
Nᴏᴡ I ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜᴇ
Nᴏ, I ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ sʟᴇᴇᴘ
I'ᴍ ʙᴀʀᴇʟʏ ʜᴀɴɢɪɴɢ ᴏɴ"

"Hᴇʀᴇ I ᴀᴍ, ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ
I'ᴍ ᴛᴏʀɴ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴘɪᴇᴄᴇs
Cᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴅᴇɴʏ ɪᴛ, ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ
Bʀᴏᴋᴇɴ ᴜᴘ, ᴅᴇᴇᴘ ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ
Bᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴇᴀʀs I ᴄʀʏ
Bᴇʜɪɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇsᴇ ʜᴀᴢᴇʟ ᴇʏᴇs."

"I ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ
Oᴘᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴜᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ʟᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ
Yᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ ғᴇᴇʟ ᴀʟʀɪɢʜᴛ
Fᴏʀ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʟɪғᴇ
Nᴏᴡ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ's ʟᴇғᴛ ᴏғ ᴍᴇ
Is ᴡʜᴀᴛ I ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ
Sᴏ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ, ʙᴜᴛ sᴏ ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ ᴜᴘ ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ"

"Nᴏ, I ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴄʀʏ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴜᴛsɪᴅᴇ".

"Aɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ"...

"Aɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ"...

It was just a moment. One moment and everything changed, her world was literally ripped apart from beneath her. It crumbled into a tiny million pieces.

He protected her. He saved her from being hurt. He always protected her. He was her big brother. She never connected with anyone else. Her sisters treated her differently. Like she was just nothing and just a particle in the air that would float by and fade away. ...

Amelia had just finished a surgery when Owen came into the Scrub Room. His eyes looked like he had seen a thousand black roses falling. Amelia knew that look too well. It meant someone had died. "Who died?". Amelia joked. "What?". Owen asked. "I can see it in your eyes". "Who died!". Amelia raised her voice. "Derek... your brother". Owen's voice trailed off. "No. That's not. Okay seriously. Who died!". "I just told you, Amelia!". Owen responded. "Well your wrong!". The Shepherd refused to believe him. ... Amelia just tried to call Derek's phone but no answer. She called a second and third time. Maybe he was in surgery or something. "Derek is dead. Amelia!".
Owen raised his tone as he left the Scrub Room. "I don't believe you!". Amelia yelled back. ... Her brother couldn't possibly be gone, could he?....

...

(Flashback): "Call him, Call Derek!". Amelia sighed. Richard looked at her. "You don't need your brother, Amelia. You can do this". Richard Webber smiled. "I... I don't think I can". Amelia sniffled.

...

(Flashback): "Amy, you've got this". -Derek.

(Flashback): "Only Derek is a loud to call me that". -Amelia to Addison and later Amelia to Meredith.

....

Who would joke with her now?. Who would be there to protect her and catch her when she fell even if she didn't want to be caught?. Who would call her "Amy?". Mark was gone. Addison was in L.A. with her new life. And now the one person that mattered is DEAD. Amelia was truly alone.
....

She spent the rest of the night yelling at anyone that tried to give her condolences about her brother's death. She wouldn't believe he was gone. ...

She had walked around in paces for what seemed like minutes until a doctor approached her. He looked no more than a Resident. Amelia didn't recognize his name or anything. "... "Dr. Shepherd". He spoke . "Are You okay?". His words flowed. Amelia's mind played them over and over. Like a song that was left on repeat. "Y..Yeah I'm fine". Amelia replied. "You don't look fine". He told her. "You're right. I'm not". "So what do you want?". She asked snappily. "Sorry I just wanted to make sure you were okay. But I can go if you'd like". "No ... Stay". Amelia told him. The Resident then walked with her outside the Hospital. He pulled out a cigarette and started to smoke. He asked if Amelia wanted one but she declined. But then he adjusted his pocket and a small plastic type bag fell out with a white substance in it. "Is that what I think it is?". Amelia raised her voice. "Shhhhh". He replied. "Lower your voice". "And yeah it is. But don't worry. I don't do it when I'm working on surgeries or patients. It's more of an after work thing". He laughed. ... "Why... DO YOU WANT SOME?". He asked.

...

There went words again. They echoed through her mind. That same song still stuck on repeat. Amelia knew better to take any. She did. She should have. She knew she had a problem with it and if she used again. It would get worse. But right now, she really didn't care about the consequences. "Sure". Amelia smiled and he gave her another bag he had in his pocket. "Well if you want more, you know where to find me". He chuckled and stomped on the bud of his cigarette and left. ... Amelia nodded.

....

What in the world did she just do?. Scoring Oxy off some Junkie Doctor.

....

Amelia looked in the bag when she opened it. She could smell the soft powder. It felt so soft to the touch of her finger. All she had to do was sniff and she'd bury the pain along with her memories.  ...