♪ Sugarcane - Lea Cota

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Sophie's pov:

"Yunho, we need to talk." I kept repeating my prepared speech as I started walking towards Yunho's room next morning. Seonghwa was right, and I needed to know for sure what feelings Yunho had for me exactly.

I knocked on his door softly, hoping that he was awake. I heard a groan from inside and light footsteps slowly got louder as he reached to open the door. He was rubbing his eyes with one hand like a child, his eyes were almost closed. He stopped opening the door halfway, his eyes now wide open as he stared at me, quickly flattening his bed hair smoothing it down. I tried my best not to chuckle at his cute behavior, I was here for a serious talk after all.

"Oh it's you...come on in." He opened the door gesturing me to come in. I sat on the bedside chair when he seated along after quickly locking the door. Both of us didn't manage to say a word for a long time until I finally gathered some strength and spoke first recalling my speech.

"Yunho, we need to talk." I spoke for the eighth time today, but this time to Yunho directly. He did not look surprised at all as if he were already waiting for this to happen. "I am listening." He replied, now his amused expressions from a while back gone.

"I won't waste much of your time as we have a big mission in few weeks so let me get straight to the point. What am I to you?" I pressed my lips into a thin line as I patiently waited for his answer. He had a troubled look on his face as he slowly grabbed my hands in his palms.

"You are my everything." He replied, his grip got tighter. I furrowed my brows. I am not gonna hold in any longer. "Just clear everything with him Sophie", I said to myself.

"What do you mean by everything? Do you mean you love me? Or do you just like me?" I asked again. A small frown appeared on his face and he looked lost. He was thinking. I couldn't believe he was thinking about this after all this time.

"Yes, I love you." He finally answered as he now softly covered my hands by his palms. They were warm, he was warm, and his answer got me feeling some type of way once again. I wanted to cuddle with him right away and say "I love you too" to him immediately when I suddenly remembered why I was here. This answer was not enough, I needed him to explain to me about all his actions.

"Then why did you trick me earlier this week when I got the card? If you really loved me, you would've trusted me. I would've told you about that sooner or later. You have done these kinds of things many times already, you have hurt me many times too. I'm not sure anymore whether you really love me or not." I hurriedly spoke in one breath. It was difficult but it felt like taking a huge boulder off my chest. Yunho had already slowly released my hands, now moving his palms towards his face burying it in them.

"I am so sorry Sophie..." his voice cracked as if he was about to cry. "I really don't know what am I doing...I keep messing up. I know I am messing up but for some reason, I can't help it..." He sighed running his hand through his hair, tugging them harshly at the tips. He leaned forward as he tightly pulled me into a hug as if he needed someone to hold him and never let him go. I squeezed him back, unsure of what he was going through. He really looked so lost and helpless, I felt like I needed to do something quick to assure him that he is safe.

"I am so sorry. I like you very much but now that I think about it clearly, I think I was in love with the idea of loving someone and that happened to be you." He spoke softly, loud enough for only me to hear even though it was just us two in the room. A tear trickled down my cheek as I pressed into his shoulder harder, fighting the reality as I denied hearing whatever he said just now. I had completely fallen for him but knowing that he didn't really love me back broke my heart.

Seonghwa had said the exact same words and I didn't want to believe him last night too. But he was right in the end.

"Yunho, I loved you. I had always loved you. I still do so please..." I broke from the hug as I just stayed there with a lump in my throat and trying to fight back tears. "Please..." I cupped his cheeks as I leaned in closer, waiting for him to respond. "One last time. Today is the last time." He closed the gap between us, and our noses touched as I melted into his warm kiss. I wished I could stay in that moment forever. I wish I could kiss him like this whenever I wanted to and forever, but this was going to be our last kiss and we both knew that very well.

"Sophie, I will always like you. Let's not let this whole thing bring a crack in our relation. Let's be there for each other, at least I am always there for you just letting you know. I hope you find someone who truly loves you soon." He gave a small smile, but I was too broken to smile back. I nodded, trying my best to not drift away while he was still speaking. It wasn't even a proper break up, but it felt like one.

"I hope you find your true love too Yunho." I forced a smile as he wiped the tears off my cheeks nodding his head silently. This whole conversation made me realize that Yunho was going through something. Maybe it was just the beginning of something complicated, but he seemed very confused, lost, and indecisive most of the time and extreme. He probably needed some help. I needed to tell someone about this soon or else, he will keep getting dragged in deeper, hurt himself and hurt those around him too, just like he hurt me.

I let out a tired sigh and got up from the chair. "I think I should get going now. My mind is cleared now, thank you for being honest. I will always be there for you too so..." I swallowed, finding the strength to complete my sentence "...so let's be best friends forever." I forced another smile before quickly turning towards the door and rushing out. I could hear Yunho saying something on my way out but couldn't hear him over my own sobs.

"Another heart-breaking day" I said to myself as I pulled my blanket over the top of my face and cuddled like a cocoon who never wanted to come out ever again. I wanted to stay hidden forever.