taehyung went through his day as normal, because much to his own surprise, the boy had somehow completely forgotten about his little "date" with a certain min yoongi that night until hoseok brought it to his attention.

"so what outfit do you have picked out?"

tae stopped in the middle of his dorm kitchen, setting his phone on the counter after putting hoseok on speaker. "outfit? i'm wearing pj's."

"you're wearing pj's to yoongi's??"

it struck him like a brick to the head. taehyung felt his face drain. "oh my gosh. i-...i'm supposed to be there at nine. what time is it now?"

"tae, i swear, you actually forgot?"

"the time."

"it's 8:56. i figured you were on your way by now."

"i am not. i am currently standing barefoot in the kitchen regretting my existence."

"don't regret your existence," hoseok said with a sigh of disappointment. "just regret your pea-sized brain. now go throw together that button-down, jeans, and headband and make yoongi fall in love with you."

"that's not what i'm trying to do!" taehyung protested, groaning. "we're just having coffee!"

"8:57, tae."

"i have to go. i'll talk to you later."

"lemme know how it goes. bye-bye."

he hung up in a frantic hurry, racing back to his room to grab the first button-down shirt he could find, then a pair of jeans, giving up with the headband after thirty seconds because he didn't have time to be looking for that right now.

in the rush of things the man nearly forgot to put on shoes. but he did make sure to check his hair, because he saw it one of his most attractive features - not that he was trying to appeal to yoongi, of course not, but he wanted to at least look presentable if he were going to be a guest at someone's home. so that would include wearing shoes.

on his motorcycle he hopped and sped off. the weather was calm, unlike taehyung. he could only hope yoongi didn't assume he'd been lied to, or canceled on. that would just make tae feel horrible, and he already felt horrible for forgetting. it was simply in his nature to do so.

yoongi didn't live too far, which was about the only thing going in taehyung's favor at the moment. he arrived at the apartment before long and checked the time - 9:12 p.m. twelve minutes late.

he hastily dismounted his bike and ran towards yoongi's door. then, as discreetly as he could, tae knocked.

a few agonizing seconds slipped by. the door opened.

and for the third time taehyung found himself face to face with the oddly adorable, dark-haired, pale-complexioned man who made taehyung stutter upon first encounter.

yoongi had on a thick gray sweatshirt and black sweatpants. he looked cozy. tae bit back a smile.

"i am...so sorry," he said breathlessly. "i kinda have a horrible memory so it completely slipped my mind and that's why i'm late. i'm...i'm sorry i hope you didn't think i-"

"it's okay."

taehyung stopped.

"you can come inside, if you'd like."

dazed for a moment, the taller man gave a slow nod and tentatively stepped inside the apartment so that yoongi could close the door.

"please excuse the mess. i have a problem."

taehyung wasn't about to lie and say 'mess? what mess?' just to reassure yoongi. the living room, which was the room adjacent to the front door, tae found to be absolutely cluttered, to say the least. there were papers and books everywhere, sheet music, an old keyboard, some strange figurines, small stuffed animals and some other boxes with hidden contents - written on the boxes themselves were the words 'yoongi's art, do not touch.'

"the kitchen's much nicer. let's go there."

taehyung crept slowly and carefully around the obstacles as he followed yoongi to the next room. as the man said, the state of the kitchen was indeed much more presentable. no clutter here. not a speck of dust to be seen, in fact. the counters, spotless, cabinets and smooth wooden floor polished and tidy.

yoongi made his way over to one of the cabinets and took out two small containers. he glanced over his shoulder and asked in a soft voice, "do you prefer coffee or tea?"

"uh...coffee is fine," taehyung replied. his curious gaze drifted over to a burning candle by the windowsill.

candles. that was another thing. he hadn't noticed it at first, but now that he was deeper into the house, tae realized there weren't any lights on. just candles, both wax and electrical.

"do you, uh...not like having overhead lights on?" he asked, though immediately after regretted it. stupid question, tae, stupid question.

"it's not that."

he turned his attention over to yoongi. the shorter man was currently preparing the coffee maker, pouring in the grinds and messing around with the settings. taehyung just watched him silently.

"i find it more calming to use candles," he said after some time. "besides, they're less expensive to use than the overhead lights. even the electrical candles."

he still spoke in such a slow, lazy manner, borderline slurring, but somehow matter-of-factly. it was odd. but taehyung understood him and made sense of his explanation.

"smart," he said, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "i should do that. struggling college student and all. we're drawn to inexpensive conveniences like nobody's business."

"so you're in college?"

"yeah, i-...i-i am."

his composure snapped like a twig at the unwarned eye contact.

"what major? if you don't mind me asking. i'm sorry i'm being a little talkative."

this is your definition of talkative?? this is normal conversing! "i study...photography."

"photography..." yoongi hummed quietly in thought. "different."

taehyung wanted to say 'thank you' in response, but he just couldn't bring himself to stop staring - not just at yoongi, but at everything around him too, starting with the living room where he could still clearly see the mounds of various items - mainly the books and papers. it intrigued him. perhaps, however, more than intrigue, taehyung was experiencing a strange sense of concern.

"why don't you sit down?"

nearly flinching, taehyung nodded and pulled out one of the four chairs from the table and sat down. it wasn't long after that that yoongi set a glass mug in front of tae, then proceeded to fill it with fresh coffee from the pot. next he poured some into a mug of his own, and finally he returned the pot to its rightful place and took a seat at the table across from tae.

"oh, i'm sorry," the man said suddenly. "i never asked how you liked your coffee."

seeing a look of genuine guilt dawning on yoongi's face, tae quickly blurted, "black is fine! i don't mind black coffee."

"oh. okay." the other's expression relaxed - well, it was already pretty relaxed. in fact taehyung was starting to wonder if this man could use any more than just his eyes in showing emotion.

he looked tired. he looked so tired.

"i'm guessing you live alone?"

"mm."

tae watched as yoongi took a slow sip of his coffee then shifted his eyes towards the living room.

"i don't think anyone would be able to stand living with me anyway," he added in a voice almost too low to hear. "it's for the best i'm alone most of the time."

he wasn't sure why it made his heart sink, but listening to yoongi truly did concern taehyung. the man sounded so despondent, jaded, and again, just so tired. he was like an enigma, all wrapped up cutely in a warm sweatshirt. taehyung looked down at his coffee.

"you don't have to stay, by the way."

he lifted his head abruptly at yoongi's comment.

"wh-"

"as in, i'm not forcing you to stay any longer than you want to," he explained. "you're free to leave any time you like, you don't have to feel bad. i just wanted to do something to repay you for your kindness, you know? but i'd completely understand if you wanted to leave. it's not the most atmospheric place. i'm just used to it."

"do you like the clutter?" taehyung asked tentatively. he bit his tongue for a second. "like...i don't know...i have a friend who studies psychology and i remember him telling me before some people focus better in a disorganized environment."

"mm."

taehyung watched yoongi's face anxiously, worried that any word he could say (or had already said) might stir up something negative. he felt like he was balancing on eggshells, and he hardly knew this man.

"it could be that," yoongi said after a little while. he shuffled in his seat. "along with some other things. but enough about me, how's the coffee?"

"coffee?" taehyung blinked. "o-oh, it's fine. thank you, i really appreciate it."

"it's nothing. it's the least i could do. the cookies were really good, by the way."

"i didn't make them..."

"well, you delivered them with a smile."

the unmasked gratitude in yoongi's tone caused a blush to surface on taehyung's cheeks. he gave a nervous chuckle. "i...i guess i did," he said, once again avoiding the other man's gaze. he couldn't help it. it made his stomach churn - not in the uneasy way, but rather in the 'the butterflies are starting to get comfortable' kind of way.

yoongi was hypnotizing. that was all there was to it.

"uh, so yoongi, d--ah, wait-" he stopped himself mid-sentence. "-you're older than me, right? not that i'm saying you look old! i just-...wanna be respectful."

"i don't know your age, but i'm twenty-five."

"oh okay, so you are my hyung."

"i don't really care about honorifics-"

"do you work from home, hyung?"

the question took yoongi aback, and though he almost wished he didn't, taehyung noticed the man tense up, his hands tightening their grip on his coffee mug and his facial features drawing closer together slightly. "i guess you could call it work," he said almost in a whisper. "not much of a job but it's what i do. then again i do take some editing jobs every now and then if i need to."

taehyung drew in a shallow breath. "do you...not have a steady source of income...?"

a noticeable delay settled between taehyung's last words and yoongi's next. the older, for a time, didn't tear his focus away from the still surface of his half-empty coffee mug.

"i'm just trying to stay alive, is all. i'd get hell from jimin if i didn't at least do that."

though his sinking heart wanted to address the first of those two sentences, tae couldn't look past the other name which hooked onto his ear the moment it was uttered. "did you say jimin?"

"he's my friend," yoongi said, lifting his sluggish, but curious eyes to meet with taehyung's again. "why, do you know someone with that name?"

"n-no, not really," tae confessed, "but i recognize the name from someone who works at this ramen shop i go to pretty often."

"that's him, then."

that small, barely perceptible lip movement taehyung could more or less call a smile appeared on yoongi's otherwise still face. he soon turned his head down, though, which both relieved and saddened taehyung. but perhaps the latter more than the former. after all with every word the other spoke tae's urge to hug him only grew stronger.

but he couldn't. he didn't know yoongi enough to know if he were the type to be comfortable with hugging a near stranger - probably not, he assumed. not many people would be.

"he's the only other visitor I've had in years," yoongi soon added, separating taehyung from his train of thought. "he knows me and my negatively habitual and self-destructive tendencies, and i know he doesn't like them, but he's accepted them. it's hard to find people like that. i wish i could bring myself to visit him once in a while. even if it's just at work."

"well, why don't you?" taehyung asked, leaning forward a bit too eagerly. he sat back again once he was met with yoongi's shameful gaze.

"i can't go out."

there was something awfully depressing in the way yoongi uttered those four words, enough to make taehyung wish he hadn't made the suggestion. at the same time, though, he wanted to know more. he wanted to keep asking questions, to find out more about yoongi, this mysterious, adorable, and soft-spoken man who had already shared more information than taehyung ever expected a stranger would. and yet, tae felt there was still so much he didn't gather even from what was already said.

"outdoors isn't that bad," the younger said, hoping to be of encouragement. "or, do you not have a vehicle to use? i don't like public transportation myself, so i can understand if that's the reason. but if you need a ride somewhere, i don't mind taking you some time if i'm not busy-"

"i don't think you do understand."

yoongi grew tense again. taehyung bit the inside of his cheek.

"i can't...i can't go out...i can't..."

just like that, tae became overcome by a massive wave of guilt triggered by that slight tremor in yoongi's voice, repeating those words. his hands, too, shared that tremor.

"i'm sorry...i'm probably making your visit unpleasant. i'm sorry, i'm not used to being around people who listen to me." yoongi let out a quiet puff of air, coated in exhaustion. "or people at all," he added. "i've let myself talk too much. i'm very sorry, taehyung."

in the fair amount of time tae had spent here thus far, this was the first he heard yoongi use his name. and just as it had last night, it had some strange effect on him. "you really don't have to apologize," he said to the despondent man. "you're not making my visit unpleasant. you're just making me wish i could do something to help you."

"...help?"

it seemed to knock the breath out of him. for a moment, yoongi appeared as though he struggled to take in air to his lungs, and taehyung just nearly sprung out of his seat. but the older calmed before tae could take action.

"a-are you okay??"

"yeah, i think so."

there was no way. taehyung was convinced, in no possible way was this man 'okay.' "do you have any ailments or something??"

"not physically, no, i'm okay," yoongi insisted. "that just happens from time to time."

"that's..." tae's expression was unsettled. "that's worrying..."

"it's okay. i know you may not believe me but i mean it. besides, i've been living like this for a while, so-"

"is that supposed to be reassuring?"

tae's cheeks reddened again, upon his realization he had raised his voice by accident.

"sorry, it's..." he sighed. "it's none of my business, it just hurts a little knowing you live like this constantly without even having someone around."

yoongi shrunk into himself. "i'm sorry for troubling y-"

"could i stop by again some time?"

he surprised himself - and yoongi, evidently. and at the look of shock he now saw in the older's eyes, taehyung wondered for a moment if he shouldn't have asked.

just for that brief moment.

"i wouldn't mind at all."

*

*

a/n:
it's literally been over a month oof i'm sorry lol