Jungkook drove back while trying not to cry anymore. Were his tears even worth it? He did not know what to think anymore. He had spent 9 months with Jimin and it was almost a year when he first met him and got rejected by him in a fucking strip club. He should have taken that signal and run away while he still had a chance but now he felt too broken.

He had the pressure of his family on him to get married before he turned 30. It was stupid to think that way but somewhere in his mind, he also thought that he would be married by 30 and have a family of his own. Now, it hurt him to even think about last year. After ignoring so many things about Jimin and being patient, he got nothing in return, not even a proper breakup. 

Meanwhile, Jimin realized what he had done. He was dying inside for Jungkook but he did not think that the man was willing to keep him after what he did. Jungkook did not respond to his text yet he still hoped somewhere that the man would not give up on him so easily. 

Two days he spent crying in Yoongi's lap and drinking till he lost consciousness. Yoongi asked him not to but the pain of rejection he felt was way too much for him. He knew it was a stupid idea to come up with this party, even Yoongi said so but damn the two people who said that it would be best and Jimin would get clarity on his feelings. 

Now he did, he fucking did. He regretted this more than anything he had done in his life, even stealing. He picked the flowers from the ground and ran back inside, crying. He closed the door shut and just screamed his heart out in his room. The disappointment in Jungkook's eyes shook him to the core. The pain on Jungkook's face and the fact that the man lowkey came with flowers just made Jimin want to kill himself. 

Yoongi sent everyone home and knocked on Jimin's door after winding up the party. Jimin kept crying constantly. He even tried to call Jungkook but he knew he had lost him this time. He knew very well that the mistake was his entirely when he walked in on the patient like that but he was just too stubborn to bend down a little and accept his mistake. Sure, bending down for the fuck was never a problem for him.

Hoseok and Taemin were very drunk and Yoongi let them take the guest room. The two had been in a relationship for three weeks and they fucked at every chance they got, even now they were fucking each other's brains out and their groans were audible through the walls. Jimin's head was pounding in pain, the drinks did him dirty. 

He opened the door and immediately hugged Yoongi. "I am dying, Yoongi. My head hurts and my throat is just closing on its own. I feel like dying. Please help me." He sobbed and Yoongi almost teared up at his condition. He lived with Jimin for a very long time and he came to understand him like a shadow. He knew when Jimin said no but actually meant it as yes. 

He slowly rubbed Jimin's back and made him sit down on the bed. "I fucked up. I am disgusted by myself. Why did I have to be an arrogant ass? I am even horrible to you when all you do is fucking hold me whenever I fall. I am always receiving from people and I am not giving them anything... Anything. I am such a selfish bastard." He cried some more.

Yoongi sighed and said, "that you are." 

Jimin suddenly stopped crying to make sure if he heard right. "What?"

"I said, you are," Yoongi nodded and Jimin resumed his crying again, screaming in a high pitch voice, more annoying than the two people's moans. "But you are also the best person I have known. You are kind, you care about people and you are always honest." 

Jimin mellowed down and listened to what Yoongi had to say. "A guy who used to fuck people every day stopped his vulgarity to be loyal to Jungkook. You are much more than you give yourself credit for. I knew you loved Jungkook, you were mad at him but your feelings did not end. You were half-ass drunk and you could have kissed any of those mother fuckers but you did not. He will listen to you if you talk. Don't give up yet and pour your heart out. Show your feelings with honesty." He patted Jimin's head.

"Sleep now... Your Jungkook also needs time. If you follow him now, he won't listen to you. Never talk to anyone when they are angry. Sleep on it tonight and be ready to cry like a bitch and ask for forgiveness tomorrow."  Yoongi noted and it made Jimin smile. The words were comforting and made Jimin hope again. 

The younger nodded and jumped on Yoongi in a bone-crushing hug. "Leave me, you baby Yoda!" Yoongi began to wriggle out of Jimin's grip but not really. 

Jimin giggled and left Yoongi after few minutes. He laid on the bed, trying to sleep so that he could see the next morning and go find Jungkook but it was not easy. Jungkook had not returned or picked a single call from him. Although Yoongi had convinced him that things were not all bad, he still could not find peace. He had to see Jungkook himself and set things straight, or in his case, gay.

**

Jungkook reached home and found his perfume bottle opened, his robe on the floor that he left in excitement and hurry, his blow drier still plugged into the socket of his bathroom, and the lingering fragrance of Japanese cherry blossoms. The entire setup made his breath hitched as he fell to his knees in the room and cried while pulling his hair. 

The pain he felt was overbearing. He did not know how to deal with it right now. Everything in the house reminded him of Jimin. Whether it was the first time they made love in the same room or the first time Jimin came here to stay the night, their first dance in the living room, or their first fight, everything spoke to Jungkook. 

He was dreaming of forever with him but he felt that Jimin never wanted the same things he did. Of course, Jimin was young and he still had time to think about family or marriage. Why did Jungkook think that they would meet at the same end line in this race? 

He did not want to be pathetic or cry. He got up and quickly filled a bag with few clothes before leaving the house. 

The night passed by really quickly. Jimin slept in chunks and woke up pretty early. It was now his turn to get ready by wearing something that Jungkook would like. He knew how Jungkook always wanted to see him in cute outfits.

Jimin quickly ran to his wardrobe and chose a furry pink loose sweater along with blue denim pants. The thought of surprising Jungkook tickled his tummy. 

29 Jun 2021