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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄-𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐈𝐗;

𝙸𝙻𝙻𝙸𝙲𝙸𝚃 𝙰𝙵𝙵𝙰𝙸𝚁𝚂

∘₊✧──────✧₊

"𝐄𝐘𝐘𝐘𝐘, 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐁𝐎𝐘" Val yelled charging towards me. His voice was full of energy, brimming with that wild, uncontained enthusiasm that I often found exhausting. But I didn't budge. Not even when he dove into me, trying to wrestle me into some sort of reaction.

I stood still, licking the butter knife with a dollop of thick and creamy peanut butter. I don't know why, I have been having a crazy craving for peanut butter for the past few days.

My love for peanut butter is bigger than the whole sky, it was my prime diet last week. Even this morning, when my mom told me to grab something quick for breakfast I just decided to grab the half empty peanut butter jar and a butter knife for the train ride.

"Where's your bread? Why're you only plain eating peanut butter?" Val asked, frowning. "I like it" I commented as I scraped the bottom of the jar for more. "You're weird" he said as he moved on to talk with Lorcan about how he toilet-papered his neighbour's house and his summer with his cousins.

I eyed Hugo and Ajax, they were having slightly heated conversation, perhaps just a normal couple disagreement, me and Lily live on those- I saw Lorcan stealing glances at Hugo. Drama, drama.

I looked around, the platform was crowded with students over a 1000 untold stories all uniting in a single scene starting off a new adventure at Hogwarts and then there was us, the 7th years, the seniors... Who were counting our final days at Hogwarts.

It's ironic, you know? I dreamt of leaving school, growing up, getting a job, and living a life. Right now all I'm wishing for is to either stay at school forever or die the second after I graduate. I don't know if I'm ready to face the hypocritical and judgmental environment of society.

Even Val—Val, who's allergic to anything remotely serious—had to admit that the heavy, unnecessary textbooks (which he'd never open, let alone study) didn't feel like such a burden anymore. And that meant something. He was sorry. Sorry that we had less than a year left. Because honestly, those books are nothing compared to the burdens waiting for us out there.

Still, I know I won't cry on the last day. I'm not weird that way. I don't really feel emotions (or I guess I forced myself to not feel them)—at least not in the normal way. But I'm good at stating them. At describing them.

"I don't think the headboy should be eating peanut butter from a jar in the middle of the platform and maybe try to control the crowds instead?" I heard the voice I wanted to hear behind me. I turned around to the brunette haired, blue eyed, french boy, Jared Jaques standing next to his girlfriend Judy.

"Hey! Long time no see, mate" Lorcan said, giving a fist bump. "Yup" Jared chuckled, hugging him. "Want some peanut butter?" I asked. "No, thanks" he replied smiling. There was an awkward silence between us for 2 minutes straight before he broke it with a question, "It's crazy that it's going to be our last year, isn't it?" he asked in a subtle tone looking at the scarlet steam engine hiss.

"It's not so deep, I'm just worried I don't get to live off my parents, good for you, you have inheritance and you're a rich kid" I stated. Jared choked on his saliva and started coughing.

"Look, even I'm worried but—My doubt is—Why are you so afraid, you're like the best student Hogwarts has seen in ages, the ministry is gonna be hunting you for offering you a job."

He gestured toward Val. "Look at him. He's probably not even passing his N.E.W.T.s—sorry, Val."

"Don't be sorry," Val piped up with zero shame. "I lied to my mum and told her I was going to buy textbooks. I didn't. I'm saving the money for after graduation. I mean it's not like I'm going to use textbooks anyways, I'm planning to run away before N.E.W.T.s, I can't fail with bad marks and I just know I have no chance at all".

He grinned wide. "So yeah, guys, I don't have any books. Hope we can share. Also, really hoping the professors don't find out."

"You're insane," Jared said, staring at him with bewildered. "Well Val, please don't run away alone, bring me with you. If I fail N.E.W.T.s my parents are gonna screw me over and they'll make me move out. AND I'M GOING TO FAIL 100%, I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I PASSED O.W.L.s. Maybe the examiner pitied me or the marks got mixed up" Lorcan said.

"We should probably get in, there's only 10 minutes left"

************************************************

I was waiting for Jared near the entrance of the Hogwarts Express. He was still out on the platform, talking to Judy. Technically, I was just there to hold the door in case it closed before he could get in—but really, I was eavesdropping.

"I'm sorry for leaving you alone. I'll be back for Christmas, okay? After this year, we won't ever have to be apart again," Jared said, holding her arms gently. Ugh. This is so cheesy. I rolled my eyes as he kissed her cheek and finally hopped onto the train.

"That was painfully corny," I said, chuckling as I leaned against the wall.

"Shut up," he muttered, still waving to Judy as the train pulled away. He kept waving... and waving... and waving, until she was just a tiny dot on the platform. "You're such a romantic. And so overdramatic" I commented.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Jared replied, not even looking at me. "You'd never understand, even if I tried to explain."

"What if I told you I had a girlfriend?"

"It's painfully obvious you're lying," Jared said with a sigh, shooting me a look. "Did someone possess you or something? You're acting way out of character."

"Why is everyone saying that? Maybe I am possessed. Maybe I need to hire a priest. Or get a talisman to drive the spirit away."

"Yeah, no doubt you're possessed. I never thought I'd hear the words 'priest' and 'talisman' come out of your mouth," he said, laughing as we started walking down the corridor.

We entered the cabin where Lorcan, Val and Hugo were already seated. "Urgh, we were supposed to meet over the holidays but that plan failed terribly" Val sighed. "Let's be honest we've been planning for like three years to have a proper hang out over the summer holidays and we end up failing every time" Hugo said.

I was staring outside the window when I felt a glance on me, I turned to look at Lorcan grinning at me. It's probably his method of blackmailing me about him finding out about me and Lily. 'Amelia' I mouthed to him and he immediately looked away.

"What is this secret twin telepathy communication going on? If you got tea, you spill it" Val said. "No, it's nothing" I said. "Lily came over and I swear, Lysander and her were acting so suspicious. They even went out together and they watched movies together" Lorcan broke. OH! Really Lorcan?!

"I don't know man, Ly, can I say something? Stop confusing her bro. I feel bad for Lily. You keep being friendly with her because you pity her and she clearly likes you and she keeps getting her hopes high every time you're with her" Hugo said.

LORCAN, YOU'RE SCREWING ME OVER RIGHT NOW BUDDY.

"Look, he's lying" I said. "I SWEAR HE'S POSSESSED, HE CAN'T EVEN LIE PROPERLY" Jared yelled. "Lily and I are like siblings-" I started and all my roomies groaned in chorus, "That's just bullshit, I- I'm tired of this. Can we move on to a new topic?" Val asked.

"Let's talk about your sister Val, I saw her hanging out with a senior" I said, shooting a bullet right into Lorcan's chest. "WHAT?!" he exclaimed, getting up.

"Yeah, he's like six feet tall, looks like he shares a brain cell with a rock, and I think they've got like a three-year age gap. Real couple energy."

"I'll pay you to find out about this pedophile" Val commanded. My intestines were hiccuping from laughter as I looked at Lorcan's miserable condition. "Yeah, I'll look into it" I said.

The door slid open. All heads turned.

"Speak of the devil and she shall appear," Jared muttered under his breath, straightening up as Lily stepped in.

Her red wavy curls were tied back in a ponytail and curtain bangs falling over her forehead, and she had that smirk on and the twinkle on her green eyes—the one that usually meant trouble for me specifically.

"There you are," she said, looking straight at me, ignoring the rest.

Then she leaned casually against the frame, arms crossed, the corner of her mouth curling into something dangerous.

"Lysander," she said, sweet and sharp, "I know you're off-duty when it comes to feelings—but prefect rounds still exist. So unless your job today is to sit here looking emotionally unavailable and weirdly attractive... move."

The silence was criminal. Even Jared raised an eyebrow, as if he knew he was witnessing a live execution.

"Lysander—did it hurt?"

I blinked. "Did what hurt? You mean your statement? Yes- Especially when a person like you-"

"When you fell from your responsibilities as Head Boy. Now get up, we've got rounds."

I opened my mouth. I really did. But words? Gone. Thoughts? Who? I couldn't think. My brain wasn't braining. I wasn't sure if I was breathing at this point.

Val let out a dramatic gasp from the corner. Jared looked personally offended. Lorcan whispered, "She didn't have to go that hard..."

I got up. Quietly. Automatically. Like I'd been summoned.

"If you're done being everyone's favourite disaster, I could use a little help keeping the first-years from starting a turf war over window seats."

My breath caught in my chest. I stepped closer, holding her shoulders as I turned her around before she could say anything else to the boys that would seal my fate.

"Or, if you'd rather keep loitering here, I can bribe the Ravenclaw prefect to do your job while I distract you" she chuckled. My brain glitched. The room went weirdly warm. I chucked her out of the cabin and walked out in terror, closing the door with a little more force than necessary.

"ARE YOU CRAZY? WHY ARE YOU FEEDING THE HUNGRY BITCHES?" I yelled.

"It's fun seeing you suffer with the allegations, you're good as dead aren't you?" Lily giggled. "To be honest, I've been cooked by you for years now, at this point crispy crunchy deep fried Lysander in normal Lysander" I said. 'Lysander... Lysander is such a weird name', I thought.

"Ok now, we have duties. We can no longer slack around" Lily said, tapping my back. "I'm just going to maul the prefects, I'm just happy I have a bunch of minions called, 'prefects' under me so I can vent out all my anger on them and torture them" I said with an evil chuckle.

"Not gonna lie, but when I joined Hogwarts. My initial plan was to collect followers and murder everyone. I even had a notebook dedicated to mass massacres" 

"If you think that's reassuring, just know that it's not working" Lily said as we walked through the corridor of the train to the next carriage to get hold of the first year situation.

On our way, a tall, messy blonde-haired boy—who wasn't in his uniform—was heading straight toward Lily. Was he blind? He veered slightly to the left, and his shoulder was about to brush against hers. I couldn't let that happen. I don't just sit back and let "accidents" slide. I pulled Lily toward me, and she seemed startled, her eyes wide, while the boy bumped into my shoulder instead.

He muttered a quick "Sorry" he said in a dramatic tone looking concerned. His accent was different—American? Do we have Americans at Hogwarts now?

"Keep your eyes peeled and don't bump into girls. Where are your manners?" I shot him a glare.

Lily tugged at my robe, her voice soft but insistent. "Stop making such a big scene, Lysander," she said, pushing my shoulders playfully.

"Oh, hi Lily. Didn't see you there. I'm sorry, I got lost on my way to the bathroom, but now I feel like I'm losing to your eyes" the boy said smoothly, getting away like a criminal with that statement, his smile a little awkward but gentle and reassuring.

Lily gave a giggle. I didn't like that. His voice was laid-back, his tone thick with the sort of charm I hated. I didn't like him. And it wasn't just because I hated people for fun—it was because I knew he was trouble.

"Julius Rhode, meet Lysander. He's the Head Boy," Lily said, trying to keep it casual, though I still didn't trust him.

"Hey, I'm Julius Cassian Rhode. You can call me Joule," he said, stepping forward for a handshake, his hand outstretched.

I couldn't help but smile, my words dripping with irony. "I like your nickname. Joule—yeah, the standard unit of energy in the International System of Units. Fitting, isn't it?" I tried not to laugh. Joule? What kind of name was that? Was he Isaac Newton's descendant?

Firstly, I'm done with the name Julius ever since France. Fuck you, Julius.

"I think you both will get along well," Lily said smiling.

"I hope we do," Julius said, looking at me. I just gave the most unsettling glare.

"Look, buddy, stop being so stiff. We're friends now," Julius said as he came to tap my shoulder, but I moved back.

I looked into his blue eyes. I hope those freckles on his cheeks turn into cockroaches and crawl through his ears to eat his rotting brain—considering he has one.

"It took me-" I was about to start when Lily pulled me and said, "Me and Ly are quite busy right now, talk to you later," she said, pulling me from the chaos I was about to create.

Lily and I walked away quickly. "Joules," I said, chuckling.

"I know right, but we shouldn't be rude, ok? Plus, it's not that bad. It matches his energy." Lily chuckled.

"He's a transfer from Ilvermorny," she commented.

"Pretty evident. Which year?" I asked.

"Seventh."

"Our year? Why?" I asked.

"Apparently he's some rich kid, and his parents shifted here because they are British, so he's here now. He also has connections with McGonagall. I heard he was top of the class in Ilvermorny, so watch out, we might have new competition," Lily said.

"I'll shave my head if he defeats me," I said.

"I know you're supposed to love a person for his personality and shit, but I'll break up with you if you fucking shave your head. You'll look like Megamind if you're bald."

"Fuck you, Potts. It was just a phrase for saying it'll never happen, it's a canon event, bitch."

"Ok, fine, we're late to our first meeting. I fear Hogwarts' future being in the hands of two procrastinating, unstable teenagers who banter way too much for their own good that their words shoot to kill and are ready to execute mass massacres just because they can't agree strawberry is a better flavor than chocolate," Lily said.

"It's not strawberry, it's paracetamol."

"Fuck you."

************************************************

After our meeting me and Lily parted our ways. Lily was assigned the first year's carriage while I was assigned the seventh year, so we were on opposite ends. Thank god I didn't need to deal with ungrateful children screaming, 'skibidi' and 'chicken jockey'.

But I had to deal with ego crippling teenagers who just give you that, 'Yeah, so? Fuck you peasant boy'. I walked around, it was pretty quiet but I was in doubt after a while. Was today International Kissing Day or something? I swear everyone is making out with their girlfriend/boyfriend in every single cabin. I could see their shadows through the blinds and it's really uncomfortable.

I was strolling around as I turned my head towards the left and saw VAL- AND- DIANA- KISSING-

THE HELL HAPPENED?

HOW MUCH YEARS HAVE I BEEN IN COMA?

Didn't these two break up in the most disastrous and horrendous manner in such a way both of them wouldn't even stare at each other's faces ever again? What did I miss? Perhaps they met during the holidays and patched things up? Then what about Michelle? And that other Hufflepuff girl?

VAL WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I used my wandless magic and pulled the blinds down. He's so naïve I have to help him hide his secret relationship with him from me. I sighed trying to take in what I just saw. I saw Jared in an awkward position in Ajax's and Hugo's heated conversation, perhaps third wheeling them? No wait he has Judy-

Lorcan was missing! Probably in search of Amelia. AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO GLUED MY FRIEND GROUP TOGETHER WITH A GLUE GUN? AND IF I'M GONE THIS IS WHAT THEY DO?

I'm actually kind of proud.

Anyways, I just have a feeling that today is going to be a long day. A really long day with disasters minutes away from being unleashed.

From the moment I met that guy named Julius, I knew today was going down the drain. I also accidentally ripped my favourite hoodie so- I'm just waiting for hell to fall upon me. I just stood there enjoying the silence before the storm.

Julius, Diana and Val where the thunder and lighting, the harsh winds and the high waves are slowly approaching.

************************************************

EXCLUSIVE VAL'S P.O.V:

My parents didn't come to buy the materials for seventh year with me. They were busy with their own errands, so here I am, all alone in Diagon Alley. I'm typically not a person who enjoys going anywhere alone. It's not that I'm afraid of getting kidnapped or anything, but there's something hollow about it. It's just... not fun when you have no one to hang out with. It's straight-up depressing, to be honest.

I called Lysander and Lorcan. They said Lily had come over, so they couldn't make it. Hugo probably lied to me that he was busy—he just didn't want to be stuck with me. To be honest, we don't vibe that well. Jared and Judy went to Judy's parents' house. I wonder if Jared's even still alive at this point.

I walked into Flourish and Blotts. The shop wasn't too crowded—quiet and peaceful, but that wasn't exactly what I needed. It was filled with books. One of my biggest nightmares. I glanced down at my wallet. Should I really be spending all my money on books? Not like I'm actually going to use them. And it's not like I even want to graduate from Hogwarts at this point.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Yesterday, Lysander was talking about how he's terrified of being unemployed. If he's that worried, then where does that leave someone like me? I won't say I'm afraid, but I am... unsure. Unsure where my life is heading.

My mom made it clear that she's kicking me out the minute I graduate. But the real question is—am I even going to graduate? Not a chance. I can't tell her that. But I'm planning to run away. Maybe start a business, like Jared suggested the other day. Talking to him always makes me feel like I can actually do something. Way more motivating than reading 'Atomic Habits', which my dad would probably have a fit about, but whatever.

I've had a good time so far, but I really need to do something real if I want to keep enjoying it. I walked toward the business and commerce section. "How to Make 10,000 Galleons in a Year," I read the title. Jared recommended this one. Maybe I should be realistic and buy books that might actually help someone hopeless like me.

But the real problem is that right now, I've got all this motivation. But the second I get home, I know I'll be back in front of the computer for hours, playing Fortnite with random people on Discord.

I sighed as I picked up a few books—definitely out of syllabus, but perhaps they might offer me something that could help me get my life together. Who would've thought? Valentino Anderson, of all people, buying books for himself out of interest. The thought made me feel... disgusted. Like I was betraying my own reputation or something.

I carried the books down the stairs and placed them on the counter. No one was there to bill them. I sighed again, looking around lazily. It was probably lunchtime, so I figured the cashier must have gone for a break.

Then, I noticed something. A blonde girl, tiptoeing, trying to reach for a book on a high shelf. I don't know why, but something inside me stirred. Time to use my exceptionally well-honed skills and show her what a real man looks like.

I walked up, reached up, and grabbed the book from the shelf for her. I stood there, smiling confidently, and handed it over. But then everything inside me froze as I looked down at her face.

It was Diana—my worst ex.

She seemed a bit flustered, her eyes flickering away from mine. She politely took the book from me, looking down at the floor, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "Thank you," she murmured quietly before walking away to the other section of the shop.

My heart leapt in a way it really shouldn't have. I stood there for a moment, just staring after her, a strange feeling settling in my chest. I wanted to move, say something, anything, but I couldn't.

I stood there, feeling oddly static, as Diana walked across the shop, carrying the book I'd handed her like a lifeline. My heart was doing that thing again, beating a little too fast, but for once, I wasn't sure if it was a bad thing.

She stopped at the next shelf, glanced over at me once, and I swear I saw the tiniest flicker of recognition. The tension between us hung in the air like a broken thread, tugging us both in ways we didn't expect.

I swallowed, collected myself, and then made my decision. No more running away from things.

I walked toward her, the floor beneath me seeming to hum with every step. She didn't notice me coming until I was right beside her.

"Hey," I said softly.

She froze for a moment, then slowly turned to face me. Her blue eyes were guarded, but there was something there—something familiar.

"Valentino," she said, her voice quiet, unsure. "What are you doing here?"

I laughed, the sound was awkward, but real. "I was just... buying books, apparently," I said, motioning down at the ones in my arms, though I wasn't sure why I'd even picked them up.

She glanced at the books, then back at me. Her lips twitched, perhaps she was on the verge of laughing. I mean anyone would have laughed if a possible soul descendant was Fred Weasley buying books in Flourish and Blotts .

"You look different. More...grown-up, I guess."

I raised an eyebrow. "Is that a compliment or an insult?"

"Take it as you will," she replied with a small smile. "So, you're buying self-help books now? Are you ok? Mentally, physically? Because it's out of character for a person like you. Something you need to tell me?"

I chuckled, rubbing the back of my neck. "Maybe I'm just trying to figure things out. You know, life. Grown-up stuff." I shifted my weight, unsure of how to bridge the gap between us. "I never thought I'd see you here, though."

Her gaze softened, but there was still that distance between us. My heart twitched for some reason. "I just thought maybe it's time I get serious about life. I improved last year. I got an overall 85%, I'm trying for 90% this year. So I need books" she said, her voice quieter now.

"But mostly because it's... easier than facing everyone and things haven't been easy, it's almost like the world put a tape over my mouth and told me to shut up, I just feel contained and oppressed" she said.

I didn't get her but ok, I brought myself to listen to her. All I knew was that she was lonely and I pitied her and a part of me thought that I was the reason she ended up so- sad.

My heart twisted. I hated that we'd left things the way we did—so many unsaid things between us. "Yeah," I said, the words slipping out before I could stop them. "I'm sorry about how things ended. About how I ended it."

She looked at me for a long moment, then let out a soft sigh. "You really know how to screw things up, don't you?"

I smiled sheepishly, not sure how to handle the storm of emotions swirling inside me. "I'm good at that."

I don't know but I kind of felt a relief when I accepted it. The tension bicker- I feel like both of us had some kind of enlightenment during the holidays. But then, there was a shift in the air. The harsh edge in her voice softened, and she took a step closer.

"But... I didn't want it to end like that either."

"Yeah, me neither," I said, stepping toward her. Our faces were only a few inches apart now, and I could feel the familiar warmth radiating off her. My heart-

"So, what do we do now? Pretend like we don't care?"

Diana hesitated for a second, then reached out, brushing a lock of hair from my face. "I don't think I can pretend," she whispered, her hand lingering on my cheek for just a moment.

My breath caught in my throat, my heartbeat quickening. This was it. The moment I'd been waiting for but never knew I needed.

"I'm just scared of hurting you and making the wrong call like always, I'm Val after all. I'm just unstable"

I leaned in, just a fraction, and she didn't pull away. It felt like everything—time, space, the noise of the shop—slowed down.

And then, before I even realised it, I kissed her.

All the weight of the years apart melted away in the press of our lips. And the sense of nostalgia hit me. The way we used to love, the way we used to smile.

When we pulled back, both of us were breathless, and I saw the light in her eyes that had been absent for so long. The playful, familiar spark.

"Well," I said with a grin, trying to make light of it.

"That was... unexpected" I said nervously. Ok look my brain-

IN MY DEFENCE, I DON'T HAVE A BRAIN. I'M PRETTY SURE MY DAD SOLD MY BRAIN WHEN I WAS YOUNG BECAUSE BOTH OF MY PARENTS WERE TEENAGE RUNAWAY PARENTS SO THERE ARE HIGH CHANCES THEY COULD HAVE SOLD MY BRAIN FOR MONEY. I DON'T KNOW OK?!

I started freaking out slowly realising what I had done. I messed up real bad right? Urgh- But again- Diana-

She looked down at the books I was holding. "So... about those books. How about we grab a drink and talk about life? I mean, you're buying self-help books, so you must need something to wash that down."

She's asking me out on a date right? I didn't know what to say. That was so impulsive and seemed like it happened within seconds. But again, we broke up within seconds so getting back together within a second ain't much of a big deal is it? It sounds about right. Also I don't have any company for today so it would be nice to hang out with her.

I grinned, nodding. "Sounds fine"

We walked out of Flourish and Blotts together, side by side, no more distance between us. The weight I had been carrying lifted. Maybe this time, I could be a bit more of a faithful and loyal boyfriend rather than a weight on her shoulders.

We made our way to the Leaky Cauldron, the familiar warmth of the pub wrapping around us as we found a quiet corner.

As we sat down with our drinks, I couldn't help but feel like maybe, just maybe, Diana had been right all along. That sometimes things need to fall apart before they can come together. She'd been trying to get me to understand for the whole of last year and perhaps today was the day I actually thought about listening to her.

"Cheers to starting over," I said, raising my glass with the most confident, rom-com-worthy smirk I could muster.

She tilted her head and smirked, eyes glinting with mischief. "We're starting over?"

My heart cracked, my grip on the glass faltered, and somewhere inside me, my soul physically curled up and died.

"Wait—what? I mean, yeah? Aren't we? Didn't we just—? Was that not a date invitation? You just—kiss—and then drink offer, and that usually means—unless it was like a friend thing, which is fine, I mean I love friends, friends are awesome, I—"

Diana burst out laughing.

"You're such an idiot," she said between laughs, nearly choking on her drink.

My brain officially short-circuited and the worst part, I wasn't in transfiguration class.

"I was joking, Val," she said, wiping her eyes. "Of course we're starting over. You really thought I kissed you just for nostalgia and then asked you out for, what, emotional closure and a butterbeer?"

"Maybe? I don't know? I just didn't want to get it wrong and screw things up again" I muttered.

After a prolonged pause and quick romantic glances. She leaned, cheek against her hand with that familiar soft smile, "I missed you."

Now I was officially in danger of melting into the bar floor. I stared at her like an idiot—because I am one— I looked into her eyes and thought, how dumb I was to leave her. I mean just look at her face, damn it. She's like Cinderella from Sydney (I should become a movie director and actually direct a movie called, 'Cinderella from Sydney', it actually sounds so cool).

"I missed you too," I said quietly. "Even if I didn't realise how much until today" I chuckled.

"Are we going too fast?" she asked.

"I like it, we need to catch up for our wasted year"

************************************************

Lysander sighed as I narrated this flashback to him. He was probably disappointed in me. But at the end of the day I'm happy and so is Diana and I am trying my best to be loyal to her.

"So you went to buy self help books but ended up getting a girlfriend?" he questioned me. "I did but the self help books too, even though I think I left them back in my grandma's home in Spain" I muttered.

"You're just putting yourself up to trouble, I have no further comment"

"Look, it won't screw up this time. This time it's different" I argued. "It's just- getting together with your ex never works out, Val. And that too for a person like you, you're just gonna prove I'm right and hurt her more than last time"  he muttered.

"Trust the process man, you're such a wuss. Be optimistic and trust. Everything will be alright." Val said. "No, nothing is alright. Look, in my opinion this Diana thing is a terrible idea, but again it's your choice and it's not like you're gonna listen to me" he said.

"Also what's with you and Lily, she was full on flirting with you" I asked a bit curious about today's incident.

I might be an idiot, but when it comes to relationships and love triangles, even the greatest mathematician can't find the 'angle' to these triangles as accurate as me. I must say, I'm one of the main reasons Hogwarts has a high breakup rate.

I 'accidentally' end up telling random people other people's secrets and it's so fun watching the chaos and drama unfold as I just sit there and watch it like a telenovela pretending like it wasn't my fault that they found out that his/her partner was cheating on them.

But let's be honest, I'm also saving many fake relationships in the process of my fun but of course we don't talk about my girl besties (basically untitled girlfriend) and my relationship with them.

"It's obvious isn't it? She likes me" Lysander muttered as he pulled out a book, magically out of nowhere and started reading it. It almost seemed like he wanted to avoid the topic. "Avoiding the topic so, you must like her back" I accused.

IF HE GETS DEFENSIVE, I CAN CONFIRM MY ALLEGATIONS!

"I'm reading, be quiet. Also maybe you should read those self-help books that you bought" he said. Oh, so he's still avoiding the topic? He must like her.

"Stop dodging the question" I snapped. "It's not a big deal, she always liked me. I'm just going to care so she can move on and think about actually succeeding in life rather than trying to bring me down with her" he muttered as he gave me a glare with his eyes.

This is what I hated about him, he always seemed to convince me with that cold statement and that look he gives. "I need to get back to duty now, I can't be caught slacking off" he muttered, sighing as he got up.

He's just such an obedient kid. He's just such a nice kid who gives off vibes of a serial killer. "You're so- such a good boy" my mouth slipped.

Lysander's eyes widened slightly.

"Why are you treating me like a dog?"

"I didn't mean it that way" I replied face palming.

************************************************

EXCLUSIVE DIANA'S P.O.V:

"You're insane, girlie," Lily muttered, her voice low and tired as she leaned against the carriage door, adjusting the sleeves. "This? This isn't worth it."

"I feel it is," I shot back, heart pounding louder than I'd like to admit.

Lily scoffed. "Val isn't worth it, Diana. There are better guys out there—just dump him already."

"You don't understand." My voice came out firmer than I expected, rising on tiptoes like I was trying to keep control of a ship in a storm.

"Don't I?" Lily's tone sharpened, but she didn't raise her voice. She barely looked at me as she barked at a frantic first year sprinting past us. "Oi! Watch where you're running!"

"Kids," she muttered under her breath, rolling her eyes before turning back to me. "Val is my friend too, and so are you. You think I'm being harsh, but I care about you both. I'm just trying to save you from another train wreck."

"Funny way of showing support," I snapped. "Aren't friends supposed to, you know, actually support each other?"

"I am supporting you. Just not your decision." She looked at me, really looked this time. "You remember how broken you were after the breakup. Val hasn't changed—he's reckless, impulsive, selfish. And you... you feel things too deeply. You regret, you react, you spiral. The two of you together? That's TNT. Just one spark, and boom. I don't want to see either of you get hurt again."

"So what, we should just stay friends? Like you and Lysander?" I spat.

Lily's eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come on, Lils. You've been pining after him for years. You're scared he'll reject you, maybe even laugh in your face. That he'll crush you with one cold look and walk away. You'd rather sit in silence and pretend you're fine than risk being vulnerable."

"That's—"

"I'm not like you," I cut in, my voice shaking. "I own up to my feelings. I don't hide behind them. So don't come at me about my choices when you're too much of a coward to make your own."

Lily's face twisted in offense. "That was so unnecessary."

"No, what's unnecessary is you acting like you're some relationship guru when you've never even been in any actual relationship. You're one of those girls who date for fun, you don't have any romantic feelings. You probably don't even know what love feels like"

Her jaw clenched. "You're out of line."

"Oh, am I? Or is it just that you don't want me with Val because Michelle likes him?" I crossed my arms. "You and Michelle are practically joined at the hip. Is this all some plan to set her up with him?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Lily's voice pitched higher now, sharp with disbelief. "Are you serious right now?"

"Dead serious. You two always whisper when I'm around. I know you talk about me. I know I'm just the outsider in your little club."

"That's not true!"

"Isn't it?" I hissed. "I'm the 'crazy one,' right? The emotional wreck? The dramatic friend who's always too much."

"I never said that!" Lily snapped.

"But you think so!" I yelled, now burning. "You think I'm exhausted. You pity me. You and Michelle—go ahead, pretend you're saints, pretending to be my friends while plotting behind my back."

"Diana—get a grip. You sound paranoid."

"No, Lily. I sound fed up. You want the truth? You act like this perfect little princess—Potter's golden girl—but no one actually likes you. They just tolerate you. The boys who swarm you? They don't care about you. They care about your name. Your family. Your face. And yeah, Michelle might be dorky, but at least she doesn't pretend to be someone she's not."

Lily's face went cold. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about."

************************************************

EXCLUSIVE MICHELLE'S P.O.V:

I was just looking for my Charms textbook—which was with Lily at the moment, she had borrowed it to slap the shit out of some first years and tame the beasts—but as I turned the corner in pursuit for her, I heard voices. Loud. Heated.

I slowed down instinctively, and then I heard my name.

"YOU AND MICHELLE CAN GO AROUND PRETENDING TO BE MY FRIEND AND THEN PLANNING TOGETHER TO RUIN MY LIFE!"

I stopped dead in my tracks.

What? I overheard their conversation.

And there it was. His name.

My stomach knotted instantly.

Val.

Of course this was about Val.

And Val and Diana getting back together.... I probably saw that coming too... It's just my luck and fate...

Of course it was.

"Michelle?" I called softly, stepping into the light, heart thudding against my ribs like a trapped bird. Lily turned first—her eyes wide with something close to guilt.

Diana scoffed, eyes narrowing. "Of course you'd show up now."

"What happened?" I asked, trying to understand. "You think Lily and I—what—"

Lily looked shaken but still furious. Diana looked like she was clinging to a cliff's edge, lashing out before the fall.

I read the scene. It seemed pretty obvious that Val and Diana had gotten together once again.

"You think I want to steal Val?" I asked again, voice soft but cracking. "Diana, I don't even—"

I paused.

I had to pause.

Because the lie was right there, on the tip of my tongue.

I don't even like him.

But that wasn't true.

I did like him. I always had. I just never said anything. I buried it, deep—like everyone expected me to. Because that's what good friends do, right?

They keep the feelings down. They smile when it hurts.
They don't confess when he walks into the room, smelling like smoke and cedar and trouble, and your heart does that awful fluttering thing.
They don't cry when he kisses someone else.
Especially when that someone else is your best friend.

"I don't even like him like that," I finished, letting the words fall like stones from my mouth.

Lie.

Half-lie.

I wasn't sure anymore.

"This whole theory is insane," I added, more bitterly than I meant to.

Because it hurt. God, it hurt.

"Oh, now you're calling me insane too?" Diana barked.

"No one said that," Lily snapped before I could. "Diana, stop twisting everything."

"Of course you'd defend her!" Diana shouted. "It's always the two of you against me! You talk behind my back, you laugh at how dramatic I am—don't think I haven't noticed."

I wanted to scream, 'We never laughed at you.'

I wanted to say, 'I defended you.'

I wanted to say, 'I swallowed every heartbreak because I wanted you to be happy.'

But I didn't. I have to keep calm.

"I've never laughed at you," I said, voice quiet and tired. "I've listened to you. I've stood by you. I let go of the person I liked because I thought your happiness was more important than mine. I defended you in your initial break up with Val. I have always wanted the best for you Diana, WE always wanted the best for you"

My hands were shaking. I tucked them behind my back. I couldn't let her see.

Not now. Not this version of me.

The jealous, bitter one. Be the good girl everyone wants to see.

Because that version would scream 'He looked at a way he never looked at, 'He never hurt me the way he hurt you', 'You didn't even appreciate him until he was gone'.

But I stayed still. I swallowed every last trace of that girl. The one who liked Val.

I choked her down.

"We're not attacking you," I whispered.

"You think I'm exhausted. You pity me," Diana hissed. "You pretend to be saints, but I see it. I see it."

I felt something in me flicker. Not anger. Not really. Just—grief, maybe. That quiet kind of grief that makes you want to disappear into your scarf and pretend you never existed.

Because maybe, deep down, I was tired. Tired of being treated like I didn't matter. Tired of being the soft one. The safe one.

She looked between us—me and Lily, standing side by side—and her face changed. She didn't see us as friends anymore. She saw enemies.

"I'm done playing nice."

"Diana—" I tried.

But Lily held out a hand, stopping me. Her expression was tired, resigned. Her eyes were burning in rage and I could hear Lily's mind cussing and imagining her torturing Diana in gruesome ways with a fancy tool kit full of murder weapons.

"Let her go" Lily muttered under her breath in rage.

And we watched her leave—shoulders tense, boots stomping, fury in every step.

I didn't follow.

Not because I didn't want to.

But because for once... maybe I couldn't be the one to fix it.

I pressed my palm to my chest, as if I could quiet the ache beneath.

Val.

Diana.

Me.

Lily.

Somehow, it had all spiraled into a storm I didn't know how to stop.

************************************************

LILY'S P.O.V:

This is just straight up fucking crazy — Diana going feral and overreacting like that was so not on today's to-do list. I mean, girl, I was just tryna protect you, but then you come up with some crazy-ass theories that make me look like the villain?

Everything she ever wanted to say about me — all the little things she bottled up — she blasted straight into my face.

Maybe it was my fault.

Maybe it was my fault for trusting her. For considering her a best friend. I just... feel so betrayed.

I tried being as nice as possible, and then she suddenly says no one even likes me? That I'm spoiled?

I didn't even know how to react. I was already pissed enough from babysitting a bunch of snot-eating first years trying to hex each other.

"It's break time for you. I'll be taking over for about half an hour," said a fifth-year Ravenclaw prefect, and THANK GOD. Bless that kid's soul.

I made my way down the hall, hoping Michelle was doing okay.

When I slid open the cabin door, I found her sitting there — hunched over, fists clenched tight in her robes — trying so hard not to cry.

And because I'm the greatest idiot that ever lived, I asked the forbidden question:

"Are you okay?"

She broke.

Tears streamed down her face as she tried — and failed — to control her sobs.

"Shit—ok, ok, I'm sorry," I blurted out, practically throwing myself onto the bench beside her. I hastily summoned a tissue box and shoved it toward her.

I hate it when people cry. Hate it. It cracks something deep in me — makes me want to cry too.
I might be ruthless and wild Lily, but when it comes to someone crying — hell, even if it's a serial killer — I will drop everything and be your personal therapist for free.

Michelle sniffled miserably.
"I don't know—what did I ever do? I mean—why?" she choked out.

"It's not your fault," I said firmly, pressing a tissue into her hand.

"It is my fault," she sobbed. "My fault for trusting her. My fault for liking him. And—and why does everything I touch either turn to ash or just fade away? I've always been what people wanted me to be. I keep quiet. I stay small. I never ask for anything. And still—still they act like I deserve to be stepped on!"

Her voice cracked on the last word.

I sat there, heart aching, holding her hand tightly.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Michelle," I said quietly. "You're not broken. You're not cursed. You're just... around shitty people who don't know how to deserve you."

She controlled her sobs as she looked at me with her puffy red eyes. I gave her a big hard hug. and rested my head on her shoulder.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'll make you some really tasty instant noodles once we get to Hogwarts, I smuggled some instant Korean noodles, you can have the one with the mild spice and maybe we'll sit down and have a talk with some chilled beer"

"Sounds nice" Michelle hiccupped, still dabbing at her eyes, and I knew I needed to get her laughing before she drowned in her own sadness.

"You know," I said, nudging her gently, "we could always form a club. 'The Society of People Who Have Been Betrayed by Unstable Girls.' We'll get jackets. Real ugly ones. In neon green."

Michelle let out a weak snort. "Neon green?"

"Yeah. With glittery letters. The kind that make you go blind if you look too hard. We'll walk down the halls and people will scream in terror."

She laughed for real then — a wet, messy, beautiful laugh.

"There we go," I grinned. "That's the Michelle I know. Now, wipe your nose, drink some water, and remember you're a badass. Diana's opinion is worth less than a fart in a bottle. That girl is just a backstabbing, ungrateful menace. You keep the best and TOSS THE REST!" I said.

And honestly, this little therapy session? It helped me too. Settled the storm that had been brewing in my chest ever since Diana went nuclear on me.

I took a deep breath, standing up and cracking my knuckles. Maybe Diana was right about one thing. She accused me of helping Michelle for my own reasons.

And... maybe I did.

Because deep down?

I wanted Michelle to get together with Val.

Deep down, I despised Diana a bit — in ways I could never fully admit out loud. Not even to myself.

Her selfishness.

Her dramatics.

Her ability to destroy anything good the second she felt threatened by it.

She knew Michelle liked Val — and she went for him anyway.

No remorse. No hesitation— says a lot about her 'loyalty' and our 'girlcode'.

It was ugly.

It was petty.

And some part of me liked the idea of Michelle being with Val just to watch Diana eat her heart out over it.

Maybe that made me a bad friend. Maybe it made me a bad person.

And if that made me the villain in her story — so be it.

I never asked to be the hero anyway.

Suddenly once again I found myself mad, it's probably because Diana is back on my mind.

I was on my way down the train corridor. Honestly, I wasn't exactly in the mood for more drama, but I'd made it this far, so why not? I was heading straight to Lysander. I had to see him and spill the tea or to be exact the drama.

But, of course, as fate would have it.

Julius Rhode.

That American transfer who had joined us this year. I couldn't help but chuckle as I saw him leaning against the doorframe of one of the compartments, looking like he had just stepped out of some breezy, music video. The messy blonde hair, that casually worn-out grey hoodie. He was talking to some seventh years, making them laugh and some girls drool.

He turned at the sound of my footsteps, and I swear, his grin grew wider the moment he spotted me. "Well, well, if it isn't the infamous Lily Potter," he said in his smooth, drawing accent. "Didn't think I'd run into you here."

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help the smile that tugged at my lips. "Julius, right?" I said, acting a little coy even though we'd crossed paths a few times before.

"That's right," he said, stepping a little closer, his posture even more relaxed. "I'm Julius Rhode, but you can call me Joule after all I've been told I have quite the electric personality." He winked.

God, he was smooth. Too smooth. My heart was skipping a beat. Why do I suddenly feel so pressurised. He just kept staring at me, I tried giving him a look but my god I couldn't hold my glance into his blue eyes. No stop Lily, stop falling-

"You're such an interesting girl" Julius said, at this point it was kinda hard not to let him pull me in a little and I HATED IT.

"You've been on this train for, what, an hour? And you already know that?" I asked, trying to be a bit friendly. But perhaps I over did that.

He gave me a playful shrug, as if to say why not?. "I'm good at reading people. And I have a feeling you're not the average Hogwarts student. You don't seem... ordinary."

I rolled my eyes again, but there was no denying the way his effortless charm got under my skin. "Flattery won't get you anywhere, Rhode" I snapped trying to get myself out of the spell he had put me under. OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME WHY AM I SO FLUSTERED?

"Who said I was flattering you?" he teased, his grin widening. "I'm just stating facts."

"Well," he said, stepping a little closer, but not too close—just enough to make me aware of him. "You've got this vibe. The 'don't-mess-with-me' thing, which, by the way, I find really attractive and I must say miss head girl you are a fine lady in general" He looked me up and down like he was genuinely impressed, his eyes lingering just a second too long before meeting mine.

God, this guy-

Before I could respond, I could see his figure coming into view, and something in me tightened, like a magnet pulling me back to him.

Lysander.

Emerging from the shadows. In his uniform, the way his robes looked effortly looked so good on him with that loose tie hanging around his neck. You know a person is a fucking model if they look good in a uniform.

His tall, thin frame moved with the kind of grace that was almost unsettling, every step deliberate, every movement calculated. His grey-blue eyes gleamed under the harsh fluorescent lights, sharp and piercing, framed by impossibly long lashes. His half-golden hair, with dark roots peeking through, swept back effortlessly, a mix of chaos and intention.

He was the embodiment of control, a nightmare wrapped in the body of a boy, and there was something about the way he carried himself—like he belonged to the nightsky and owned the stars in the sky—

I couldn't help it. My breath caught for just a second.

Julius, oblivious, kept grinning at me, clearly enjoying his effect. But the moment Lysander's eyes flicked towards us, I felt the air shift, cold and heavy. I couldn't help but take a small step back, my instinct to move toward Lysander, not away from him.

It was evident. I just got a bit swayed. But Julius is no Lysander.

"Well, well," Julius's voice broke through, "Isn't it Lysander! HI! How are you? You remember me right? We met a few hours ago?"

Lysander's eyes lingered on Julius for a beat too long before he finally flicked his gaze back to me, his expression as unreadable as ever. It was almost like he hadn't heard Julius at all, as though he were completely indifferent to his presence.

Julius, ever the smooth talker, seemed to take the lack of attention as a challenge. He grinned again, shifting his stance to make himself more prominent. Julius looked at Lysander and me back and forth. Perhaps he noticed my expression change on Lysander's arrival.

"So, this is the guy who's stealing your attention, huh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said immediately turning a bit red, but even I knew how weak that sounded. It's kind of embarrassing how I blush if someone ships me with Lysander— EVEN IF HE'S ALREADY MY BOYFRIEND.

Julius smirked. "I get it. Not my first rodeo with the whole 'I like someone but don't want to admit it' thing."

Before I could even respond, Lysander opened his mouth to say something. Then he paused, and for a moment, I saw a flicker of something—jealousy? Protectiveness? but whatever it was, it was sharp, and I felt a mischievous thrill at seeing it.

He took a single step forward. He didn't speak, not yet. He just gave me a quiet, almost amused glance, as if to say, Really? This guy?

Julius always carries himself, like he was always just one step away from completely unraveling whatever little calm I had left—it made me laugh, even as I caught myself swaying toward him. Lysander was always intense, always a little bit of a nightmare, but damn it, he was my nightmare.

And it's a shame that I have actually had a thought about replacing Lysander. I should just kill myself.

Julius raised an eyebrow, clearly noticing the shift in my demeanor. But he wasn't one to back down easily. With his grin still plastered on his face, he glanced at Lysander, who had taken another deliberate step closer, as though closing the distance with his very presence.

"Whoa, hey," Julius said, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. "I didn't know we had a guard dog situation going on here." He chuckled, but there was an edge of uncertainty creeping into his voice now, his bravado cracking just slightly under the weight of Lysander's unwavering stare.

Lysander didn't flinch. His eyes—those sleepy voided grey-blue eyes—fixed on Julius like a predator eyeing its prey. There was no warmth in his gaze, no hint of friendliness. Just cold, calculated control. His voice, when he spoke, was low and smooth, a quiet threat hidden beneath the words.

"Lily's like a sister to me," Lysander said, monotonously. "And I'd recommend you remember that. You wouldn't want to find out how... protective I can be."

Julius's grin faltered for a fraction of a second, his confidence momentarily flickering. But he quickly recovered, flashing that cocky smile again. "Come on, man. I'm just talking. You can't seriously be that protective over your... sister, can you?" he said, trying to brush it off with a laugh, but there was something in his eyes now—a slight hesitation, a flicker of doubt that hadn't been there before.

Lysander's gaze didn't soften. The space between them felt suffocating and I felt like I was getting crushed by the tension lingering in the air.

"You'd be surprised," Lysander said, never losing that cold edge. "I'm very protective."

Julius chuckled again, but it sounded a little forced this time. "Yeah, alright, I get it," he said, holding his hands up in mock defeat. "I'll stay out of your territory. No harm done."

Lysander didn't say anything more, but the silence between them was thick with unspoken words. Julius, as though weighing his next move, had a change of plans and finally turned back as he left. The intensity of Lysander's eyes never wavered, but there was something softer there now.

"Are we done here? You ok?" Lysander asked, his voice quieter now, gentle and a bit warmer, just for me.

I nodded, stepping closer to Lysander, feeling a strange sense of calm wash over me as his presence surrounded me.

"I'm fine," I said softly, glancing up at him. "And... thanks for that."

Lysander gave me a small, almost imperceptible smile, the darkness in his eyes fading into something lighter, but still with that edge. "Of course," he said, his tone casual now. "Just... don't let him get too comfortable."

I laughed softly, the nervous energy finally leaving my body. "Don't worry. He doesn't stand a chance."

Then, with a cruel, almost languid smile, Lysander's voice dropped to a dark, chilling whisper, as though savouring the thought. "Alright, here's the plan: first, we take him. Kidnap him, drag him to wherever no one will find him. Second, we toss him into the heart of the Forbidden Forest. But that's just the beginning. Third... well, that's when the real fun begins. Picture this: we start with the sharpest knives, slowly slicing into him, each cut drawn out. I'll carve him open, piece by piece, take his organs, keep them in jars—preserved like trophies. And his blood? I'll drain him dry, just enough to make a perfectly lethal cocktail. A touch of fresh blood, add a little poison, maybe some of his own bones for flavor—that's the kind of drink I'm thinking about."

"Lysander, you're ridiculous." I said bursting out in laughter, I don't know why but usually when someone tells me this kind of shit I'm usually like 'eww' but now I'm laughing? I think hanging out with him has made me a part time psychopath.

"I'm serious," he deadpanned, and the wicked gleam in his eyes said he wasn't joking. "We get rid of the competition. I'm thinking of calling it 'Operation: The American is Gone'."

"You're insane," I said between laughs.

"Seriously, though," he said, a smirk on his face, "he's lucky I didn't curse him."

I laughed, shaking my head at his dramatics. "I know, I know. But he's harmless."

"Right," Lysander said with a sarcastic edge, his eyes flicking over to where Julius had disappeared. "Harmless? That's probably what he thinks of me too, never underestimate anyone"

I couldn't help it. I leaned in, my lips brushing his ear as I whispered, "I love you, you know that right?". I had to make sure he trusted me and he knows I wasn't going to waver for Julius.

He didn't respond immediately. His gaze never wavered, but his voice was soft, almost detached as he spoke. "Don't be surprised. Even if you think you'll leave me, you won't. You'll always come back. I'm built like that. It's probably something in my eyes. Like a drug. Once you get addicted, there's no getting away. You either live with me, or you die trying to break free. There's no in-between."

"You've crossed the line now. From this point on, it's a gamble for you. Ever wonder what happens to addicts when they don't get their fix? They die. And you'll find out how painful that can be if you ever plan on doing anything funny".

As much as I was feeling threatened right now, I didn't have anything to say because I had no plans on leaving him.

"Ok babes, I'm having a fucking hell of a day. I have to tell you loads about the Diana drama. Did you know Val and Diana are dating again like urghhhhhh. Diana knows Michelle likes Val but she still went for him and then she bitched about me and Michelle-"

"THAT BITCH- URGH. YOU KNOW HOW FRUSTRATED I AM I JUST WANNA SCREAM, it's such a long story" I sighed wearily.

"It's fine, I have a lot of time. You can talk" he said. For some reason that made my heart float, he's so sweet. "Girl, I love you. Yes, from now you have to act like my girl riend"  I said.

"Slay girllllll, now tell me everything about how you completely destoryed that bitch. Urgh, I swear you deserve so much better" Lysander said adding his 'girl voice modulations' and making some body gestures like a material girl. I gave a goggle as I started blabbering to him about the whole drama as he patiently listened to me.

"It's just exhausting you know" I sighed after the whole explanation.

Lysander leaned and placed a kiss on my lips a soft, gentle kiss. "You broke character, friends dont kiss each other" I said with my cheeks puffed up.

"Look, I know you have a lot going on right now but our half an hour break is over, let's talk later? We have duties and responsibilities that we have to put up first. I'll see if I can sneak out to give you a visit"

******************************

EXCLUSIVE HUGO'S P.O.V:

"Hugo, just listen," Ajax said, his voice soft but firm, as he grabbed my hand to stop me from walking away.

I yanked my hand out of his grasp, feeling the anger bubble inside me. "Ajax, I just don't like the idea of you going around joking about being gay and insulting yourself. It's not a joke, Ajax. It's who you are."

"Hugo..." he called, his voice pleading. "It's just a joke, it's not that serious."

"No," I snapped, spinning to face him, my chest tight with frustration. "It is serious. You told me to be proud of who I am. You told me to love myself. But now you're doing the exact opposite. You're making fun of something that makes you, you—for popularity! And it hurts me, Ajax. It really does."

"I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't thinking. But I need a circle of friends, Hugo. I can't keep hiding. It's not easy for me either," he said, his voice softer now, but the guilt in his eyes didn't lessen my frustration. "Your friends are accepting of you, but mine—they aren't like that."

I could see the pain in his eyes, but it didn't change how I felt. "So, it's okay to throw away who you are for them?" I demanded, my voice shaking. "Just so you can fit in? Is that all I mean to you?"

"Also you're being like my sister, stealing my own spotlight. When she was there at Hogwarts I was refered to as 'Rose's brother' and now I'm 'Ajax's boyfriend'. I want to be Hugo."

Ajax stepped closer, his hands reaching out as if to touch me, but I pulled back, stepping away from him. "Hugo, don't—"

I shook my head, my heart aching with the words I had to say. "I don't know if I can keep doing this, Ajax. I don't know if I can keep pretending like it doesn't hurt. You promised me you'd never do that. You said you'd be proud of who we are. And now you're hiding—for them."

A tear slid down my cheek, but I wiped it away, determined not to break in front of him. "I'm sorry, Ajax. But right now, I don't know how to handle this."

I turned to walk away, the pain in my chest almost unbearable. But just as I took a step, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hugo," Ajax's voice was raw now, a mix of desperation and hurt. "Please..."

I shook him off, not looking at him. "I can't. I just can't. I need a break."

Without another word, I stepped into the corridor, the gentle sway of the train beneath my feet doing nothing to steady me. My heart beat loud in my ears, louder than the soft clatter of trolleys and the laughter from other compartments.

I don't know why people always treat me like some kind of pushover.

Maybe it's because I don't hex people when they piss me off. Maybe it's because I smile too much, laugh too easily, forgive too quickly. Or maybe it's just him.

Ajax.

With Ajax, it was like I wasn't allowed to feel things unless he said it was okay.

If I got upset, I was "sensitive."

If I needed space, I was "pulling away."

If I questioned anything, I was "being difficult."

I remember how he said it, too—low and calm, but with that look. Like he owned me. Like he could tell me what to do just because we'd kissed in the Astronomy Tower or shared secrets on the Quidditch pitch.

Merlin, I was so stupid. And now here we are.

The Hogwarts Express, last ride of the year, compartments full of chocolate frogs and goodbyes and everything I should be feeling—except all I feel is trapped. Like I'm still in that relationship, even though I just ended it ten seconds ago.

I slipped into an empty compartment and slid the door shut behind me. Sat down. Stared out the window.

Why does love with him always feel like a cage?

The countryside outside the window blurred, streaking past in soft golds and greens as the train sped north. I pressed my forehead to the cool glass, breathing shallow, the ache in my chest pulsing like a second heartbeat.

Then came a quiet knock on the door.

I didn't move. I didn't even turn around. But the door slid open anyway, and I didn't need to look to know it was Lorcan.

He always found me, somehow.

"I figured you'd be in here."

He sat down across from me, but not too close. Just... near. Close enough to make me feel like I wasn't alone, but far enough not to push.

"You okay?" he asked, though he already knew the answer.

I didn't respond right away. My hands were clenched in my lap, fingers twisted tight.

"Ajax. Things aren't going really well. It all seemed perfect at the start but- He seems to have gotten bored of me. So I just had a fight"

Lorcan didn't say anything at first. He just nodded, his brownish blonde hair falling into his eyes the way it always did when he tilted his head like that. "Good" he said after a pause. Simple. Honest. Like he wasn't going to pretend Ajax hadn't been wrong.

I let out a breath, shaky. "He always made me feel like... like everything I did was some kind of test I was failing."

"I know," Lorcan said quietly. "I saw it"  he said, wait is he just gaslighting the situation right now?

That made me look up. His blue eyes met mine, steady and warm and impossibly soft.

"You started dimming around him, Hugo. Like—like a Lumos charm flickering out. I hated watching it." He said. Wow, I think that's the most sensible thing Lorcan has ever said to me.

My throat tightened. I looked down again, blinking fast. "I want him but I also want me to be myself but I'm also imcomplete without him. It's just so confusing. I don't know who I am without him anymore. "

"You're Hugo," he said instantly.  That got a tiny laugh out of me. It hurt, but it was real.

"And you never needed Ajax to be whole," he added, voice softer now. "You just forgot."

There was something in the way he said it—you never needed Ajax. Like he wanted to say more. I looked at him. Really looked.

His knees were bouncing slightly like they always did when he was nervous, and his hands were fidgeting with the hem of his jumper. He wasn't looking at me now. Just out the window, pretending he hadn't just caught me mid-collapse and somehow made everything feel slightly, quietly better.

"Thanks, Lorcan," I said.

He smiled without looking over. "Always."

And for a moment, just a moment, I wondered how it might feel to love someone like him instead. Someone who didn't try to own me—just saw me.

The doors once again burst open. Val was standing there in the corridor, his eyes bloodshot as Amelia stood next to him with a disappointed expression, her head hanging.

I swear everyone is going through an 'illicit affair crisis'.

"What happened?" I asked as I saw Lorcan's expression turn into fear. "WHAT HAPPENED?!" Val asked.

"I love him Val and you have no rights in interfering in our lives" Amelia muttered. And Val gave Amelia a death glare.

"REALLY? So if you get pregnant. You think I shouldn't care? Look this is serious, he's like three years older than you! AND LORCAN! HOW? I MEAN I THOUGHT YOU'D HAVE THE ENOUGH SENSES TO NOT BETRAY ME. SERIOUSLY? MY SISTER?!"

"Look, she forced me" Lorcan muttered with his head down. "See Amelia, this is what guys like him would do- they'll just blame it on you and MOVE ON!" Val yelled. "Lorcan—" Amelia started.

"Let's be honest I was never interested in you until you kissed me and manipulated me" Lorcan replied nonchalantly, ok maybe dating or wanting Lorcan as your partner is a terrible mistake. There goes my previous opinion. Why does Lorcan always prove me wrong?

"HOW DARE YOU TALK TO MY SISTER LIKE THAT!"

Lorcan, calm on the outside, was trembling just a little on the inside. His fists were clenched at his sides, but there was no mistaking the fire in his eyes. Val, on the other hand, was ready to explode, veins bulging on his neck, fists clenched so tight his knuckles were white.

"You've got some nerve, Lorcan," Val spat, getting right up in his face. "You're seriously going to blame this on her? You think I'm going to let you ruin everything? My sister's life? MY FAMILY?!"

Lorcan narrowed his eyes, voice low but venomous. "I'm not ruining anything, Val. You're the one who can't see that she made her own choice. She kissed me, not the other way around."

Val snarled, leaning in even closer. "You're just a stupid, manipulative—"

Thwack!

That's when they collided, the sound of flesh meeting flesh ringing in the small compartment. They went at each other like animals, each trying to land a punch or shove. I knew it was escalating, I knew it was getting dangerous, but it felt like the kind of situation where I couldn't step back anymore.

My friend group was falling apart. And no one was going to hurt anyone else on my watch.

I shot up, trying to separate them, pushing between their tangled bodies, hands outstretched. "Stop! Stop it!"

But it was like they didn't even hear me. Lorcan swung his fist to knock Val back, but it didn't connect—mostly because he was still off balance from Val's shoulder ramming into him.

"Guys, seriously, enough!" I shouted but my presence was ignored, my hands reaching for Val's chest to shove him away from Lorcan.

Big mistake.

Val had anticipated the move, or maybe I was just that predictable. Either way, as I pushed on his chest, he spun around and shoved me—hard. I stumbled backward into the compartment door. My feet slipped out from under me, and I flailed, arms windmilling. Everything went into slow motion for a second—my body twisting, my head colliding with the doorframe with a sickening thud.

The next thing I knew, I was crumpled on the floor, groaning, my head spinning like I'd just been hit with a Bludger. I had no idea how much time had passed. For a moment, I thought I might actually be knocked out.

But then, I felt the familiar warmth of Lorcan's hand gripping my wrist, pulling me upright. "Hugo—"

"I'm fine..." I groaned, trying to stand, but my legs felt like they'd been turned to jelly. I swayed, dizzy, trying to keep my balance. "Just... just give me a second."

Thwack!

A punch echoed through the compartment. It was Val again, and this time, he was aiming for Lorcan. But with my blurry vision, I couldn't see if it landed. I tried to stand on my own, but my body was rebelling, and instead, I ended up crashing right into Lorcan.

"Ah!" Lorcan yelled, flailing as I collided with him, both of us tumbling to the ground in a pile of tangled limbs.

Val froze, staring at the two of us on the floor, trying to process what just happened.

For a few seconds, no one moved. The fight seemed to momentarily pause—until I heard Lorcan laugh under his breath.

"Did you just fall on me?" he asked, his voice barely holding back a chuckle.

I groaned, trying to push myself up from the pile. "I—just—stop fighting—"

But then, of course, my body decided to betray me.

As I pushed myself up, my foot caught the edge of Lorcan's jumper. My arms flailed for balance, but I only succeeded in tripping backward and slamming into the nearest seat.

"Seriously?!" Val shouted, his hands running through his hair in frustration. "You guys are completely insane!"

"You..." I hissed from the floor, rubbing my head where it had hit the doorframe. "You are the one who started this—"

"I don't care anymore!" Val snapped, his chest heaving. "I'm protecting my sister. You can't even see what a mess you're making—"

"Guys, I swear to Merlin, I'm going to throw both of you off this train," I muttered, massaging my temple, still dizzy. "This is ridiculous. Just—"

"KILL YOURSELF AND GO TO HELL"

I left the compartment. Life is just— I don't know, it's something that can't be explained in words. Life is what it is— bullshit.

******************************

EXCLUSIVE JARED'S P.O.V:

I lied to her. I feel the weight of it every time I breathe. I told her I was fine, when I wasn't. The truth is, I've been questioning everything—*everything*. I even thought about skipping school this year altogether. I could take my inheritance, start a pastry business, and leave all of this behind. N.E.W\.T.s? Graduation? They felt like empty milestones, burdens to be carried. Extraneous.

I'm still not over what happened.

Every night, I pace the room until the first rays of dawn. Insomnia has become an insidious companion. I wake up, drenched in sweat, the remnants of nightmares clinging to my skin. I told Judy I was getting better—lied through my teeth. There's no progress. None. Just this gnawing fear that sinks deeper every day.

I feel weak. Frail. Exhausted in a way sleep will never fix—if I could even sleep.

I was heading to the bathroom, desperate for something—anything—to quiet the storm in my head. Maybe tonight, I thought, I'd finally get a few hours of peace. But then, I bumped into someone.

"Sorry—"

I froze. My heart plummeted.

I could feel the blood drain from my face as my chest tightened. It was him. That face. That build. That same crooked smirk.

André.

I couldn't breathe.

The world blurred around me. My vision tunneled, nausea twisting in my stomach like a vice.

Flashbacks.

The cold, suffocating darkness. The clinking of chains. The raw, biting pain. My own screams echoing back at me, like a soundtrack to my torment.

I crumpled to the floor.

I heard the hurried footsteps—someone rushing toward me. "Hey, are you—"

"Don't touch me!" My voice cracked, raw and trembling with panic.

The person stopped. I could hear them pause, confused. "Whoa, whoa. I'm not trying to hurt you."

I dared to look up, and then it hit me. The eyes. Those blue eyes that sent an icy chill through me. They were too familiar.

He held up his hands, palms facing me, a silent offer of peace. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"Fuck you, André," I gasped, the words tasting bitter, but he just stared at me as though I were a stranger. No recognition, no shame, just confusion.

Then, just like that, he turned and walked away, leaving me to gasp for breath.

The world tilted. My knees buckled. My head spun, darkness creeping in from the edges of my vision.

But before I could fall, strong arms caught me.

"Jared!" Lysander's voice cut through the haze, a tether back to reality. I leaned into him instinctively, the familiar scent of lavender and old books wrapping around me, soothing my shaking hands.

"It's okay," he murmured, guiding me gently to the wall. "Ly-Ly-Lysander, André—he's here," I whispered, my voice barely a breath as I pointed toward the empty hallway.

"Jared," Lysander said, his tone calm, measured. His hands settled on my shoulders, steadying me. "André's in prison. He's severely injured. He's locked up for life. He can't be here, Jared."

I shook my head, trembling. "I saw him, Lysander. I swear. But... he looked younger. He—he was different."

Lysander sighed, a soft sound of exasperation that held no anger. "I thought you were getting better, JJ. But you're still a wreck. Maybe it's time you saw someone. A therapist. You know, just to talk it through. Maybe your mind's playing tricks on you. Hallucinations, trauma... it's all intertwined."

I swallowed, my throat tight. "You think I'm lying?"

I could barely get the words out, but I had to make him understand.

"I swear to you, Lysander... I saw him. He was real."

X——X——X

XX~𝐿𝓎𝓈𝒶𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇~XX

(I'm lazy to give credit to other lol)