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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄-𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐖𝐎;

𝚂𝙷𝙰𝙳𝙴 𝙽𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁 𝙼𝙰𝙳𝙴 𝙰𝙽𝚈𝙱𝙾𝙳𝚈 𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚂 𝙶𝙰𝚈 𝙵𝚃. 𝙻𝙾𝚁𝙶𝙾

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𝐌𝐘 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 wandered all around the room and I felt restless, the whole room was spinning and blurry. I felt like I wanted to do a 100m dash but at the same time my legs were about to give up. I had just come from Quidditch practice. I brought myself back to reality and calmed myself down as I removed my sweatshirt from over my head and tossed it into the pile of rolled up clothes. I wrapped myself up in a towel to wipe my sweat, perhaps I should take a bath.

I dug into my trunk to search for some clothes. Why don't I have any clothes? All of them are either worn out or overused. ERGH! My trunk was an absolute mess, candy wrappers, half eaten snacks.

I aggressively started throwing out the trash that I had stored inside and all the things which I had no idea why it was in my trunk such as screws and stuff which belong in the garage, seriously IT'S SO ANNOYING WHEN YOU NEED SOMETHING AND YOU CAN'T FIND YOU.

"You're disturbing my research" I heard the cold voice of my esteemed brother. I turned to look at him glaring at me with his gold rimmed magnifying spectacles. "Stop throwing trash, that cling-cling sound is disturbing and its ruining my research, I can't focus" he complained.

"What? Are you trying to find a cure for dragon pox?" I chuckled in mockery as I went back to aggressively digging my trunk.

"I'm trying to breed two different types of venomous spiders together so they can produce a hybrid progeny, which might be the world's most effective poison. Of course I needed to inject some extra hormones for better results. I've been doing this research for six months now, this is the closest I've come so please be quiet, I need to concentrate" he said as he went back to looking into a glass box of tiny spiders.

What an annoying brat, I need an award to live with these kinds of THINGS. Imagine wasting your holiday on shit? Like bro why does it matter? Just live your life and get a girlfriend. "Like that's going to change the world" I said. "It could be revolutionary, a better way to end life in a peaceful way. From the research-" he went on like a tape recorder.

"Urgh stop, I'm sick of school, I can't do extracurriculars which are far more complex and useless" I groaned. He didn't reply. After a few more minutes of digging, I found nothing. Frustration hit me. I'm so irritable and cranky after Quidditch, mostly because THE ESTEEMED GRYFFINDOR QUIDDITCH TEAM CAPTAIN IS AN ABSOLUTE PSYCHO.

I went to Lysander's trunk to see clothes stuffed and crumpled up in between many books. Gosh, why does he need so many books? He's so girly, only girls sit home and study, men go out to the field for war and sports.

I picked out a grey T-shirt. It was neater and less smellier than mine, absolute win. Lending clothes to me is the least he can do for me to deal with his pick-me girl behaviour. "Oi! That's my favourite shirt" he screamed. "I'll let you borrow mine someday" I said.

"Your clothes smell like troll boogers with a side of stinksap from a mimbulus mimbletonia" he screamed. I deafened myself and lay down on my bed to rest from the psychopathic training routine that Lily was giving for the finals which we had qualified for. I get it girl, you're ambitious but— CUT YOUR TEAM MATES SOME SLACK.

That girl isn't even a girl- She's just built differently. So small and tiny yet her arrogance, her dominance and power is impeccable. She already said that if we don't win the finals, she'll trap a ghoul bedroom and chain it's residence to us.

"Life is so fucked" I muttered starring at the ceiling. Quidditch used to be something I love doing, but now Potter is just making me despise it with her pressure and attitude. Quidditch is supposed to be a game, it's fun, it's not a war or battle.

Either way one good news is, after a long time of research I figured out I'm bi, funny that my friends knew that before me. I haven't come out yet but I will eventually. Maybe I should throw a party?

Ok so, Lily is one problem and at this point I don't even care about that redhead bitch.

The BIGGEST problem is Hugo, that bitch. In our semifinals against Ravenclaw, after Gryffindor won the match he didn't even come over to congratulate me. He first ran over to his boyfriend Ajax to console him. HUGO WHAT AM I TO YOU? A POTATO? I'VE KNOWN YOU FOR LIKE ELEVEN YEARS AND YOU'VE KNOWN HIM FOR BARELY ELEVEN MONTHS.

Later, after the victory party was over, when I was carried back to my dorm after I got wasted due to too much alcohol intake he congratulated me at midnight. I can barely remember that moment. I feel so replaced. He used to be there for me but now that he's gone, I just can't—

I love him, I want to tell him, but I can't, not when he's with Ajax. But to be honest, I'm also afraid of what people would have to say about it. My friends, my brother, they're supportive but not everyone would be ok with it. The backlash that Hugo got when he came out was terrifying. He literally brawled his eyes out crying every night, starving himself. Dark times.

I can't face my family either. My mom and grandma wouldn't care, my dad would just give me that stare which would literally rip my heart apart, my grandfather will manipulate my dad to disown me in terms of bringing shame to the family.

I have a feeling the world might just throw shade over me if I come out and tell everyone my love for Hugo. But if I keep this within me I feel like I might just explode from jealousy and one day or the other I'll lose my friendship with Hugo. But of course that doesn't mean I'm going to be like, 'I'M JUST GOING TO WAIT UNTIL I BECOME STRAIGHT'.

I'M FUCKING BI. I'VE ACCEPTED IT AND I DON'T CARE- SHADE CAN NEVER MAKE ANYONE LESS GAY. But on the other hand I'm more of a people pleaser so that's kind of a problem. I'm just waiting for a good opportunity to tell people who I really am.

Also- I've been hiding a secret from my roomies and that's basically eating the life out of me cause I can't keep secrets. I messed up so badly, I seriously trusted myself too much with this decision which I'm regretting so bad right now. The thing is, I impulsively- Kind of- I'm so fucked, shit.

The thing is, Lysander suddenly got a super popular guy to date last month, and I kinda have the advantage that I'm his brother and dated some girls to make Hugo jealous, of course also for my own pleasure. But turns out Hugo was absolutely disgusted by my actions. Seriously though, it's so obvious why can't he get the hints? I always walk around with some girl whenever he's around Ajax.

Hugo screamed at my face for being such a shameless being for taking advantage of Lysander. He also went off about why I shouldn't speed date. I just pretended like I didn't care- and told him it was none of his business which was a terrible move. I wish I wasn't that impulsive. The thing is that I got nervous. I should have pretended to care at that time and scream in his face that I loved him and kissed him.

But the thing is- Whenever I look at him- I feel weak. My legs shiver and I feel lightheaded. I can't be the bitch, sassy, drama king with a bad boy persona around him. It's almost as if he cures my undiagnosed hyperactivity syndrome.

Ok so coming back to speed dating- Lysander went over and screamed at all the girls who were simping over him because he got sick of the attention (I swear my brother is just built different, it's every guy's dream to be recognised and this idiot just ruins his own chances) so now he's back to being Lysander, the shadow so, I lost my popularity too... Thank you so much Lysander.

So yeah, last Thursday was rough. I lost my popularity and I lost my Hugo. But then she came in-

-FLASH BACK-

I sat on the bleachers, the breeze of the cold night invoked goosebumps on my sweaty skin. I couldn't feel my legs from the torturous Quidditch work out. I sat down, my left hand clutched to my broomstick. My left leg is vibrating. Is there no one in this world who will ever look up to me and appreciate me? Hugo was the one and only one- and now he's gone.

After long evenings of Quidditch practice, both of us usually share some snacks as we talk about some gossip, giggle and pay a visit to Hagrid to taste some of his murky tea. I want to keep living in that delusion that he's still next to me.

But in reality Hugo hates me, I lost my popularity among the girls and I'm all alone. They love and praise so much that it isn't that lovely. It's an addiction which traps you and makes you crazy.

Sometimes I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it... I might have a strong physical appearance and put up an act of bravado but deep inside, I'm just weak and a failure. I looked at my rough palms, a thin layer of skin peeling off.

The smile that Hugo reserved for me- When I see that plastered on his face when he's with Ajax. Hugo enjoys the taste of his lips which taste like lime when mine is sweeter. I wanted to pick a fight with him by accusing him of dating Ajax to make me jealous. I told that plan to Lysander and he called me crazy and said I was setting myself up for an execution.

Yes, I told my brother that I loved Hugo- I CAN'T KEEP SECRETS-

An old memory played on my mind— A vivid image of Hugo's hand accidentally touching mine, that cute red flush on his cheeks and me just ignoring his feelings as I just ran to one of the girls I had dated as I kissed her in front of him. The disappointment in his face. The sadness he hid behind that clueless smile. Must have been painful- I was too blind all along. Now that I've lost him- Everything seems clear.

I wish he had contained that pain just for a bit more, then maybe everything would have been perfect. Or is it too much to ask for? His hair, his stare- Now all belonging to Ajax- Ajax stole Hugo and I'm going to take back what's mine-

Unless- Hugo actually- hates me- the thought was frightening and triggering- My throat felt heavy-

"I'm a man. A man should never cry" I told myself, though my trembling voice betrayed me. I clenched my fists, fighting the tears that threatened to fall. The weight of exhaustion pressed heavily on my chest, and I felt as though I might collapse if I dared to stand.

I sank to the ground, folding myself into a ball as I buried my face in my lap. The world around me blurred into silence. I should stop expecting so much from me. It's one of my weaknesses, I just expect too much and keep living in a delusion that I'm disappointed every time.

"Hey"

Her voice startled me. I hastily wiped up the tears that had betrayed me and flowed down my eyes on my robes and looked up at her with my teary eyes. Standing there was Amelia Anderson—Val's sister. Great. Just great.

She was three years younger than me, and now she had to see me like this, in such a miserable condition. Of all people, why her? This just sucks. I put on a normal voice and threatened, "Should I complain to your brother you're wandering out of the castle during night?"

"I was just passing by and I saw you, looked like you needed help. Care for some pumpkin pastry?" she asked, handing me one. I was in a situation where I could even beat up a dragon to eat but, it's embarrassing to accept food from a junior and that too a girl. "No thanks" I replied as I wished she would just go away.

"Have it I'm not asking" she said as she shoved it on my lap and took a bite of her pastry. I looked into her brown eyes, I couldn't read her face. I just seemed blank and empty with a hint of sass. I let my hunger get the best of me as I opened the pastry from its plastic wrapping and took a bite, oh! It was heavenly.

I took a quick glance at her. She used to look so young, now she is so grown up and pretty- Yes, she was really pretty. Ok stop melting Lorcan, you have Hugo. No more dating till you ask out Hugo.

"Thanks" My mouth involuntarily spoke. "I actually came here because I have a question" she said. "Question?" I asked. "Yeah, I've been trying to find an answer for a long time now but the due date is coming up, I hope you can help me?" she asked. Ha, is she trying to make fun of me right now?

"I'm not in the mood to play joker, just go away. But I am grateful for this pumpkin pastry, I'll buy you a drink someday" I replied. "No, I'm serious" she started when I cut her off and started giving my lecture.

"You got the wrong twin ok? I'm not that smart ass bitch, that smart ass is probably trying to find a way to cruelly kill living being with long hours of torture. I feel insulted that you took me for that weirdo, Amelia" I said as my face turned a bit red in rage.

She smiled as she let out a soft giggle, "Lysander? Seriously? That guy's a cutthroat. I'm talking to the correct twin" she giggled. "What?" I was a bit confused by her reaction.

"You must be worked up from the whole girls obsessing over your brother thing, firstly you have to stop thinking that everyone approaches you only for getting close to your brother and secondly what kind of a brother are you? How the hell do you accept that your egoistic elder brother is better than you? That's just bullshit. Also stop making everything about him. This is your life, you're the main character" she said a bit hyped up.

"Look, I don't want to do this ok? Just leave me alone. I don't know how I passed my O.W.L.s. I just cheated off in the theory test and I failed practicals. I don't think I'm the one you're supposed to be asking your doubts" I sighed. "It isn't even an academic question, it's pretty basic" she said.

"Look Amelia-" I started when she placed her fingers on my lips and muttered, "Hear me out", my heart fluttered, does she like me? Otherwise why would she be muttering and be so dramatic about this?

"I love you. Do you want to date?"

I almost started laughing as I controlled my chuckles. My cheeks puffed up as an air of laughter came gushing out but I managed to swallow it as I saw her serious expression. To be honest though her serious expression seemed more funnier than that statement she just made. "Can you stop making that face and also you're joking right?" I asked. She put on a relaxed face and asked

"Does my love seem like a joke to you?" she asked as her cheeks turned red in fury. She got up as her scarf wavered in the soft breeze in harmony with her long straight black hair. Her eyes were brown like dark chocolate, they seemed, determined.

"I-" I started as I found myself at a loss of words. 'SHE'S VAL'S SISTER' my mind echoed. "Lorcan Lawrence Scamander, I love you for who you are. I like your imperfections, I like your personality, I have liked you for a long time now. I've always admired you from when I first laid my eyes on you at King's cross" she said her eyes daring me to reject her.

To be honest, if a cute hot girl who is a junior like her proposes to me, I'll be kissing the hell out of her right now but Amelia isn't just a slaughter goat for poultry. She's Val's sister who Val is very protective of. I don't want my dorm to be upside down and divided by causing any issues.

"I- I've always seen you as my friend's sister, I swear if you were-" I started off. "VAL. THAT BITCH VAL. YOU HAVE LYSANDER I HAVE VAL TO RUIN MY LIFE. ERGH" she screamed in frustration.

"Amelia-"

"Lorcan, this is your life. Don't let other people's opinions be a barrier. You think Val knows I like you? You think I told him? He'd never let me date his friend in fact he'd never let me date. But the thing is, I'm not a little kid anymore and I can decide for myself" she said.

"You're wrong, you're still young. Val's just looking out for you" I said, for the first time in my life I felt so responsible and wise. "You mean my brother who dates five girls at the same time and has sex with them?" Amelia spit out.

"WOAH GIRL, CALM DOWN. You're only thirteen, you shouldn't be talking like this" I said like a responsible adult. "I'm fourteen, I was born in September" she said in a furious tone. "Whatever, look- Firstly, you're my friend's sister and I don't want to hold such a responsibility of being your boyfriend cause if something goes wrong Val will literally bury me alive. Secondly we have a three year-"

"Two years"

"Yeah fine, two year age gap. You're still far too young for me and I'm not a creep" I said. To be honest that age gap thing was just made up, young girls are cute as fuck. "Does it matter? The only question is do you want to date? It's a yes or no question" she said. I was put under immense pressure. ThE thing is- she was so- No-

I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out. The weight of her question crushed me, and the air felt thick and heavy. Did I want to date her? Would I have dated her if it wasn't for Val? But if I date her now, eventually I'll end up using her as a tool for making Hugo mine and my friendship with Val will be shattered.

She sat next to me and held my hand, "Don't be afraid of what others would say, do you want me or not?". Her brown eyes gleaming in bravery to fight against all odds glaring into my blue irises. My heart pounded every second longer I stared at her. She's pretty.

I looked away. At first, I thought rejecting her was my best option but- A age old question had popped up in my mind. What if Hugo doesn't like me? What if he doesn't accept me? What if he actually hates me? What if he meant every word he scolded me with? Then loving him would just be vain.

What if at the end of the day my feelings for Hugo chains me up that I end up alone? I'm so afraid that it has a high possibility. After all Ajax is better than me in everything, he offers Hugo much more than I ever can. Maybe they both are meant to be and I'm just a third wheel.

I looked at Amelia in a dilemma. The golden flecks in her eyes gleamed in the moonlight, her expression soft yet resolute. I looked at her pink lips. They were so- Ok stop being a creep Lorcan. What if I lose someone like her while waiting for Hugo to realise I'm the one who belongs with him? Amelia is here, right now, offering me something more certain.

But was it fair? To her? To myself? THIS TOO HARD- I CAN'T THINK IT HURTS MY FRESHLY UNUSED BRAIN WHICH I DON'T PLAN ON USING ANY SOON.

"Amelia," I began, my voice trembling. "I have feelings for someone else and I don't think it's right for you to be a second choice. I don't think I can love you as much as you love me. Maybe you have to search for someone who is-" I hesitated, the words catching in my throat, "...not fucked"

Her grip on my hand tightened, and she leaned closer. "I don't mind being a second choice. All I want is you" she muttered. A flutter- A girl so dedicated to loving me? This is usually the part where they all leave giving me that disgusted look. "Why me? I'm just-" I started when she cut me off and said, "You just don't see what I see in you."

My chest tightening as I looked into her eyes, her expression seemed a bit more brightened up now. I liked her and I hated it, "Also Val—" I started.

"OH MY GOD CAN WE JUST FUCKING ERASE VAL FROM THE EXISTANCE OF THE WORLD FOR A DARNED MINUTE" she interrupted, her voice rising with frustration. She was so cute when she got angry, the way her anger rises up every time she hears her brother's name. I could relate to her even I never liked Lysander fucking up my life.

"Why does it always have to be about him? This is us, Lorcan. You and me. If you don't want me, just say it. But don't use Val or anyone else as an excuse."

I looked down at our intertwined hands, her smaller fingers fitting so perfectly against mine, a lilt of happiness followed by guilt. The guilt I got from holding her hands- She was Val's sister, not someone I can show all my games to, I have to be careful.

I looked up at her. My heart aching. She was so small, only about 5'4 with a small body physique. Her silky straight neatly combed jet black hair falling below her chest. She was wearing a summer uniform, a white shirt with the Gryffindor tie and little black skirt. I was indeed mesmerised as I found myself slowly falling for her. I'm so weak when it comes to falling in love-

But before I could muster a response, she took a deep breath and leaned in. Her lips brushed against mine—soft, warm, and unyielding. It felt good, her lips were a bit chapped because of the the cold weather but she was good, her kiss was- LORCAN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?

I froze, my eyes wide in shock, my mind racing. This wasn't supposed to happen. This wasn't how I wanted it to go. But as much as my thoughts screamed at me to pull away, my body didn't move. I— I wanted her—

I hadn't felt such a deep kiss in my life. It felt like it had meaning, something more than just a moment. The way her lips moulded to mine, the urgency, the intensity. I kissed her back, accidentally at first, but then with more passion than I'd intended. She was good, I enjoyed every inch of devouring her.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer, needing to feel her warmth against me. The world outside seemed to vanish, as if it was just the two of us at that moment. There was no Val, no Hugo, no consequences—just my heart and the feeling of Amelia in my arms.

When we finally broke apart, our breaths were ragged, both of us staring at each other, eyes wide, as if we were both trying to process what had just happened. A whirlwind of emotions crashing over me. Her lips- my mind was still stuck in that breathtaking kiss I shared- UNTIL I REALISED-

OH FUCK I JUST KISSED VAL'S SISTER- FUCK-

Her chest rose and fell with every breath, and she was just as lost in the moment as I was. Her hand was still resting on my cheek. "I didn't mean to—" I started.

"It was never about what you meant or didn't mean, Lorcan. It was just... what we felt."

"This is wrong, this is wrong, I fucked up" I chanted. I wasn't sure if this was right or if I had just done something I would regret, but there was a part of me that felt lighter. Maybe Hugo would never love me. Maybe I was just setting myself up for heartbreak.

I let out a shaky breath and met her gaze, the bravery in her eyes steadying my own trembling resolve. "Okay," I said softly. I gulped down my fears, I'm Lorcan, taking risks is like a cake walk. Keeping a secret from an idiot like val can't be that hard. Plus, high chances she might be the one.

"Let's hope for the best and give it a shot"

Her face lit up with a smile so bright it felt like the sun had risen in the middle of the night for some reason it had excited me.

-COMING BACK TO REALITY-

Argh, I was so impulsive and distorted that day. I fucking screwed up. My insecurities caught the better of me. I've been living in the fear of murder for the past few days. God knows what shit is going to happen when Val finds out. Fuck.

I was so caught up in the moment. I forgot that the moment I look into Hugo's face all those memories come rushing into my mind and once again, I've fallen for him over and over again.

I've tried hating him multiple times, but they all fade to nothing when I look at him-

But to be honest, Amelia has a different vibe. She's shy and cute at times. Then she has this other badass side. Also, she isn't scared at all- She truly loves me and that really gives me assurance much more than Hugo ever did.

But it's hard. It's hard not to think about his sapphire eyes, his flaming red hair and the way he used to treat me. I just can't forget all the moments we've had before. He can break my heart a million times but every time it heals. It pounds at him, shamelessly. I'm stupidly in love with him.

"I'm done with this" Lysander sighed in exhaustion as he let out a sigh of relief and rested his head down on the desk. I got up from my bed to look at him tired and half dead. I was disgusted with myself for being so broody. The last insult I want from someone is them telling me, 'Why are you acting like Lysander?'

Time to have fun! A mischievous smirk appeared on my face and I got a great idea. Perfect time to annoy my big bro so he'll give me some good reactions and some cusses to brighten my mood. Perhaps also use him like a punch bag at the gym, I need to get in some practice afterall I am a beater.

I got up from my bed and tiptoed to creep up from his back but right when I was one feet away from him he said, "Stay away from me or I'll release the deadly spider to attack you" in an annoyed tone. I started punching him playfully. I ignored his threat and hugged him from his back.

"I love you" I muttered. He got up and struggled to push my hands, which were wrapped around his chest. This was fun, I liked him when he gave that frustrated face. "Stoppppppp" he sang as he tugged my hair. "Is this how much you love me?" I asked as I squinted my eyes and hugged him tighter.

"GIVE ME A FUCKING KNIFE, I'LL SHOW YOU MY LOVE!" he yelled. He struggled as he started moving the chair around.

SLIP!

I found myself falling on Lysander as his chair had lost balance. His startled expression made me want to laugh. I could feel the coldness of his body beneath me. I think my brother is actually cold blooded, no metaphors.

Lysander's hands were still gripping the chair for support, his chest rising and falling with the effort of keeping us from toppling completely. His breath hitched, and for a split second. I started laughing like a moron as I looked into his grey eyes and bewildered expression of rage. I think this is the most I have seen him react in my whole life.

He let out a frustrated sigh. "You have a good body and I love that hair. But your eyes are just... Exquisite" I muttered, giggling. His gaze darkened "You're insufferable," he grumbled and gave me a murderous look as he pushed me off him and I laid on the floor laughing like a psycho.

"Isn't that the most disturbing thing I've seen all day? Twin brothers alone in a room being questionable" I heard Lily's voice. She was standing in the entrance of our dorm along with Hugo. "This motherfucker-" Lysander swore as he got up, giving me a death glare.

"You mean brotherfucker" Me and Lily said in a chorus. We both looked at each other and exchanged smiles of excitement. Until I realised that I was supposed to be mad with her for being the Quidditch psycho, it's fine let's fuck that- my vows are shitty and fake like promises plus that would be a mood killer if I'm bitching.

My eyes lingered to Hugo, dark green is really his colour I thought as I admired him wearing the iconic Weasley sweater. It really brought out his bright red hair. I must say though, the cutest thing about him was his brown freckles which were generously sprinkled on his pale cheeks and nose.

"Two idiots, ruining my life in every way possible" he complained. "Well I must say this isn't as disturbing as watching Zayn's Shih Tzu eat its own shit" Lily said.

Gross, what was that information for Lily? Lysander had immediately started gagging. "Potter, what is wrong with you? That's so disturbing and my mind has this thing where I always imagine and play out a scenario" he said in frustration. "SHIH TZU EATING ITS OWN SHIT" Lily repeated as Lysander started gagging again and I was just laughing.

Hugo had a soft grin on his face as he was looking at Lily who was annoying Lysander by screaming disturbing things into his ear. The way his eyes squint when he smiles- SHIT HE CAUGHT ME STARING AT HIM. I looked away in fluster as I tried hiding my red cheeks.

"Lorcan!" Lily called me out. "Yes!" I exclaimed to match her energy. "Can you please request your brother to give me a chance with him?" she asked. "Dude, I'm totally ok for you to be my sister in law" I giggled. "Ok fine, Lysander, when can we get married?" She asked, turning to him. Lysander gave a blank face.

"Marry my dead body" he snapped, glaring at her with mock indignation.

"Oh, come on, don't be so dramatic," Lily teased, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "I'm charming, witty, and undeniably stunning. You'd be lucky to have me" she said sassily. "Lucky? More like cursed for life. I already have to deal with your insanity as a friend. I can't imagine enduring it as a husband" Lysander retorted, crossing his arms.

I don't know why but a sense of jealousy struck me as I saw Lily and Lysander locking their eyes. His gaze, so cold and distant, softened just a fraction, and she met it with that playful smirk of hers. Why can't me and Hugo share something special like this?

"Lorcan, your brother is the arrogant and rudest human being I've ever met. I'd divorce him within a week!" Lily exclaimed. "And I'd throw a party to celebrate," Lysander quipped, causing me to burst into laughter along with Hugo.

As our laughs died we exchanged unsettling looks. "Ok fuck, I have to meet Professor Archibald. Scamander the main reason I came was for your notes, I haven't been doing shit the past few weeks, hand them over" Lily demanded. "For a price, 2 galleons" my brother shot with a grin. "Gimme a friend discount" Lily argued. "4 galleons" he said with an evil smirk plastered on his face.

They both started fighting, they started pulling each other's hair to bald themselves. These both are really exhausting, I swear Lysander acts 60 years old in front of us and he turns 6 years old the minute he sees Lily, it's just- I don't know. How can you hate a person so much that you'd stoop yourself that low just to fight with her.

I saw Hugo getting tired of standing and watching the drama, he quietly walked over and sat on MY BED. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE IF THESE BOTH IDIOTS FOUND A BETTER PLACE FOR THEIR DRAMA AND IF IT WAS NIGHT TIME. Ok- this is wrong on so many levels considering I have a girlfriend who I forgot is existing. But who cares?

I'm a mentally deranged psycho who has mood swings with a meal of 'YOLO' vibes. Maybe it's time to pull a good move. I joined Hugo and sat next to him on my bed as I eyed him to make him realise that I wanted to talk to him. My heart raced as I looked at his resting face, simple, elegant.

"Hi" I said awkwardly in a scuffed voice trying to start a conversation. THE TENSION RIGHT NOW.

Hugo glanced at me, his knuckles still white as they gripped the bedsheet. His eyes darted to mine and quickly away, like he was trying to figure out if he should stay or run. I didn't blame him.

"Hi," he replied, his voice soft but wary, like he didn't trust himself to say more.

The silence stretched between us, heavy and electric, the kind that made my skin prickle. My heart thudded against my ribs as I tried to figure out my next move. My brain screamed at me to stop being weird, but that's easier said than done.

I saw Lysander drag Lily out of the dorm holding her ponytail. OMG, I LOVE MY BROTHER (NOT REALLY, IT LASTED FOR A FEW SECONDS)- HE'S FINALLY BEING USEFUL FOR ONCE IN HIS LIFE- HE GOT THE HINT. HE'S SETTING ME UP.

No he's not that kind of person, I'm just imagining things he probably wanted to kill Lily secretly- Either ways, it's for the best and I'm just going to take advantage of this situation. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? I FEEL SO WEIRD BECAUSE I REALLY DON'T GIVE MUCH 'THINKING' TO ANYTHING IN MY LIFE. But ever since I started liking Hugo and accepted my feelings towards him, I've been really cautious with my words to impress him.

Lord rest my soul, I miss who I used to be. Where is shameless Lorcan who goes around giving out the love letters using templates and handing them over like pamphlets. I turned to look at him as I caught him staring at me. Our eyes locked for a second, he turned away.

I cleared my throat, shifting closer to him, so close I could feel the warmth radiating off his arm. His hand on the bedsheet caught my attention again. It was clenched so tightly I could see the faint tremor in his fingers, baby fingers delicate and pink unlike mine which was rough and looked like that of a maid who worked her ass off cleaning cinderella's castle for 20 years.

Without thinking too hard about it—because thinking was my enemy—I reached over and lightly placed my hand on his. He stiffened, his breath catching, he gave a startle and pulled away after a few seconds. FEW SECONDS- HE MUST LIKE ME- OF COURSE- WHO CAN'T LIKE ME. I KNEW IT-

"What are you doing?" Hugo started, my voice low, it was evident he was trying so hard to be angry. "I get it, loving me is hard" I said confidently as I hummed a romantic Kdrama I had heard from a series my mom was watching during winter holidays.

"What?" Hugo asked, confused , giving me a bewildered look. I looked into his blue eyes and- I felt like I had been transported into a different mystical world. My mind blurred out and I couldn't think straight. A sudden fear- I can't afford getting rejected- I must play my moves properly. Love is a game with no respawn button.

"It's been a long time since we spoke, how's life?" I asked switching the topic quickly as I looked at him in an embarrassed manner. "I thought you didn't like the fact that I'm interfering with your life" Hugo said, looking away from me in a bit of a rage, probably because of our previous argument.

"You're so dramatic, come on. It was just a bad day. Cheer up, stop being whiney" I said as I tapped his shoulder. "Yeah" he said in a gloomy, saddened voice. I wonder what's wrong with him. DID AJAX BREAK UP? NO I'M GETTING MY HOPES UP HIGH, STOP LIVING IN DELUSION LORCAN LAWRENCE SCAMANDER.

"Look, Hugo," I said, nudging him with my elbow. "You're not fooling anyone with that 'sad, mysterious loner' act. You look like a half dead toad"

Hugo sighed, long and dramatic. "It's nothing," he muttered, staring off into the distance as though I didn't exist. Rude.

"Nothing? Please." I snorted, leaning in conspiratorially. "You've got that look. You know, the one people get before they cry over losing wizard chess."

He glanced at me, the faintest flicker of amusement twitching at the corners of his mouth before he went back to brooding. Progress. "It's Ajax" he finally admitted, his voice quieter now. "It's complicated."

My stomach did a weird flip. Ajax? Was this a breakup moment? DISCO, DISCO PARTY PARTY?! FOR GODRICK'S SAKE LET IT ONCE BE ME- HELL AJAX. I should celebrate internally without looking like a total lunatic. So I played it cool. Super chill. Unbothered. "Complicated? Can't be more complicated than trying to find the most effective poison by breeding spider" I asked.

That earned me a glare. "You're an idiot," he muttered. "And yet, here you are, spilling your tragic love life to an idiot." I grinned, nudging him again. I feel so proud of myself for making some progress. A small smile appeared on his face as he looked at me.

He rolled his eyes, but there was no venom in it. "It's just... we've been arguing a lot. About everything. And then Ajax is kind of- Things have been terrible. I feel a bit lonely"

I blinked at him. My heart was doing its usual chaotic tap-dance routine, but I couldn't just say that. Instead, I smirked. "You always have me and you can always come to me if you're lonely, cause my social life is as fucked as yours"

He groaned. "I'm not coming to you. That's weird" he said as I saw the slightest hue of pink on his cheeks.

"Why? I have incredible hair and have a taste in snacks" I said. I really wanted to extend that statement and tell him he was the tastiest snack that I've been trying to get a bite off but that's just too horny for the 'just friends' act. I have to chill out and go slow so I don't freak him out.

He gave me a look, but this time, his frown softened. "It had a double meaning" he muttered, almost grudgingly. "Shhhhh" I said giggling like a maniac.

I looked at him, his stupidly perfect face framed by the late afternoon sun, and for a second, I thought about saying something bold, something honest. But then my survival instincts kicked in, and I settled for an awkward head pat instead.

"Also, whatever happens with Ajax, you'll be okay. And, you know, I'll be here. Because that's what friends do." I gave a pep talk. And don't get me wrong I'm totally not doing all this because I have a massive, hopeless crush on you. Nope. Not at all.

Hugo looked at me, his blue eyes searching my face for a moment before he nodded. "Thanks, Lorcan" he replied. I smiled, trying not to let it look too goofy. "You look goofy" he commented and I straightened my eyebrows and hit his back.

"Now, can we stop being sad and go get ice cream? This emotional growth stuff is exhausting. Plus, my brain needs rest. I'm tired from all the thinking I've done over the week. It's just a bit too much for a person like me" I chuckled as I placed my left hand on my neck casually and smiled at him.

He smiled back <3

FUCK, NOW WHAT DO I DO WITH AMELIA?

-𝐿𝒪𝑅𝒞𝒜𝒩-

EXCLUSIVE HUGO'S P.O.V:

I wish he didn't hold my hand and save me from a head injury the day we first met and I almost fell into that sand pit dug by a runaway Niffler in his backyard. That's the day I feel for him unknowingly. And that little redhead is still wishing he'd get the chance to hold his hands for that long period of time.

It's just crazy to be in love with two people at the same time.

I wish he didn't have to touch my hand- So I wouldn't be feeling this way- I looked at his joyful gleaming blue eyes as we walked to the kitchen to reward ourselves with some soft serve ice cream.

I took a glance at my hands as I got goosebumps. What is the chance he noticed that I was blushing like hell when he touched my hand? What if he saw right through me and found out my weakness was him.

I hate the fact that I love him, but I can't dislike him either. On the other hand, I don't want to betray Ajax. My guilty conscience of secretly liking Lorcan even with Ajax by my side is already getting the better of me.

That whole crap I made about me and Ajax having a bad time was just pure lies. Why did I lie? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! I JUST FELT LIKE LYING TO HIM BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE HIM HAPPY AND I LIKE SEEING HIM HAPPY-

But one reason I'm scared of initiating anything to have a relationship with him is because- I don't know if Lorcan likes me- more than a friend. I feel like I'm living in the delusion that Lorcan likes me because he treats me better. But maybe he is just being nice to me as a friend? He's nice to everyone so- Is he just treating me like one of them? I don't know-

FIRSTLY- HE LIKES GIRLS- WHAT IF HE'S STRAIGHT-

THEN I'M BASICALLY FUCKED- I JUST HAVE TO CROSS MY HAERT AND HOPE HE'S BI.

I looked at the time in my watch. I was supposed to meet Ajax and study with him. But perhaps I can skip it for a day, to spend some time with Lorcan. It's really been a long time since we've had an unofficial date.

Right now, I should just stop worrying and live the moment. Right now it's only us, me and Lorcan. No Ajax, no weird girls- ONLY US <3

The whole world being black and white but we will be screaming in colours on top of some terrain eating ice cream.

-𝐻𝒰𝒢𝒪-