𝐃𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎:

My lyric reference finder; KaiAzer01

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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄-𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐖𝐎;

𝙸 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄, 𝙸𝚃'𝚂 𝚁𝚄𝙸𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙼𝚈 𝙻𝙸𝙵𝙴

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𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐍 the 31st of October had arrived with the essence of pumpkin pie lingering in the air. Candles floating on the top of the great hall, bats creating chaos in the moonlight, Jack-O'-lanterns glowing and many decorations set up all around the enchanting castle of Hogwarts.

I drank a pumpkin spice latte as I sat in the great hall looking at the mesmerising stars in the night sky. I took a breath in to enjoy the moment before I lost control of myself and my thoughts.

I hesitantly turned to take a quick glance at him. But that nincompoop Valentino Anderson was blocking my view, I could only catch the sight of some of his blonde hair and his black robes.

"Blood flavoured beans" Michelle said taking a bite of the all special halloween edition of Bettie Botts every flavour beans as she made a disgusted expression. "Why do you buy and eat that thing when you know it's disgusting, this is called daylight scamming" Diana went off.

I sighed in the sight of my two stupid single ass friends who didn't realise the true feeling, the depth of emotions a person can go through when the person you have a love-hate relationship with asks you out and you're just conflicted.

It's been two weeks. Lysander probably moved on thinking I had rejected him and he's probably over some horse face girl like my cousin Lucy, the thought of it almost seems heinous and terrorising. The story is OVER. Why am I still writing pages? It has been over ever since I was born, ever since my ego started swinging.

I cried for a whole of the past week in my sleep in such a way no one could hear or catch my muffled cries. Why did I cry? I just cried about my ill fate and poor decision making qualities. I want him so bad, he wants me so bad, he even let down his ego to ask me out but my ego—

I just don't want to lose to him. To be exact, I don't want him to know that he has already won this battle ages ago. Seriously though, can we fuck this ego for a while? No, I can't- it's embedded in me. I just can't but- Reputation precedes me.

Every time I'm looking into his eyes and holding on to him so tight, I can't accept the fact that he isn't mine. Everything seems so simple but its hard- especially when you want your friend to be more than your friend but you're scared that you'll lose the beautiful relationship you shared with him before.

I gave myself two weeks to make a decision and set my mind clear but here am I left with a lot of shit to second guess. I peeked over Val's shoulder as I looked at Lysander's smugness as he raised his glass as all his friends did a 'cheers!' As they drank their drink.

I looked into his diamond eyes illuminating the darkness in my life, imagining a shadowed and dull soul like him illuminating someone's life. I'm in the most pathetic phase a human can go through. I'm crazy.

My eyes lingered to look at a few first years meddling with their tiny witch hats. This year for halloween all of us had to dress up since there was a trick or treating event which the whole school begged for so we succeeded thus, the halloween feast and the night time forbidden forest party.

I was dressed up like Bloody Mary, white gown with a few red pig's blood splashes with my black robes over them. Then I tried visualising how a scale of zero to ten how much of a clown I would look like. I have red hair, green eyes, a witches hat over my head, I would look like a contemporary witch from a muggle fairytale. All I need to have is green skin like Voldemort.

Michelle dressed up like a banshee and Diana tried dressing up like a pumpkin I guess but it just looked orange, weird and I don't know. It's ok to be different but you gotta set boundaries for everything, even dressing.

At least it was better than Val's, bro put a toilet over his head and was running around screaming, "SKIBIDI!" And many first years and second years were IMPRESSED. I don't care and I don't want to know about the origins of his costume.

On the other hand the rest of the four musketeers were dressed up like Vampires. Lysander didn't even seem like he was trying, he just had some fangs and that's it, he looked like a vampire. He looked so fucking hot I swear to god he'a just too perfect with those fangs not to mention his canines always were a bit pointed and sharp.

Losing Lysander, I'm gonna lose him if I'm just going to be silent and not say anything about the situation, but if I accept him maybe, we might have a chance for at least a few more years but can I cope up with his loss? Why am I thinking about the end when we didn't even start? Should I take the risk and gamble? Should I go for it and love him?

I LOVE HIM, IT'S RUINING MY LIFE.

I can't think of anything except him. I can't move on from him. I need to talk to him. I want to talk to him. I want to give him a definite answer and move on or sort out of this mess and accept my faithful and inextinguishable love towards him.

I've been living in this thought for so long it's slowly eating my insides out and I feel like I'm getting obsessed over Lysander. Honestly, I don't know what I'll do if he gets a girlfriend and I'm not the one. I'm pretty sure I'll go mad.

We slowly dispersed out of the great hall, since I was a prefect I had duties in ensuring the safety of students during the forbidden forest trick or treating experience. I met Lysander again during this meeting but we didn't exchange any words. We just stood next to each other when we were getting assigned to patrol.

"Professors have the spot surrounded to ensure the safety of the students, we need some volunteers to guide the first, second and third years into the forest, for the students above year 4 we have prepared proper routes within the forest and have provided with a map so they can explore freely" Mongrel said proudly.

"So we'll be splitting our prefects into two groups, one for patrolling and another for guiding the younger students, the student council can experience the halloween session after the crowd reduces" the head boy addressed.

Wel,l the rest of the day was pretty terrible, while others were having so much fun getting scared by random children dressed up as cute little monsters, we had to walk around the marshy forests in search of non-existent danger. Well at least I got lucky enough not to deal with these gen alpha kids unlike Lysander who was assigned to take the younger graders into the forest.

I don't understand the origins of the name of the forbidden forest. Is it even 'Forbidden' anymore?

Speaking of gen alpha, I met a kid from first year and she said her name was "l-m-n-o-p" and I was so confused on why she was saying the ABCs and I asked her to spell it and she said, "elemenope" so I was like "Ohhhh, it's kind of like Penelope" and moved on but seriously parents should just stick with names like, 'James' and 'Olivia' next thing you'll know there will be kids named 'Breadsticks' and 'Tissue'.

Apart from getting the ridges of my white gown dirty, the forest patrolling was absolutely useless. Many prefects were telling how they caught students trying to go off trail but in my case, I was just trying to avoid making beef with acromantulas.

The clock had struck 11:00pm and the crowd settled and only the 6th and 7th years were left. Most of the trick or treaters had already left and we were told to enjoy this half dispersed experience half heartedly. What a shame, I wanted to scare some little kids with my costume. It was all a waste of effort I guess.

Michelle and Diana approached me with excitement on their faces, "We snuck into the forest trail seven times and I'm STACKED with candy" Diana said. "We wanted to go to the final round with our lovely prefect Lily" Michelle said in a flattering way.

"Half of the trick or treaters are gone, it's going to be lame. I hate being a prefect" I complained as we stood in a queue. "Oh, we have to go in duos" Diana said as she pointed at two lines.

"Those seventh years wanted to do blind dates so, we just stood in the line and got paired up with someone random but don't worry it's pretty rigged we just have to stand next to the correct person" Diana said.

"I want to go with Lils, you go with some stranger" Michelle said to Diana as she started tugging my arm. "Nah, I'm going with Lily" Diana replied, pulling my other hand. "Guys just stop, let's just stand in the line" I said exhaustively as I rolled my eyes and stood in the queue.

Michelle stood in the opposite line to me as Diana was torturing her to exchange spots with her. I saw Lysander who was standing in front of Michelle. I counted and made pairs making sure me and him weren't paired cause I don't want to die in that trail.

The line was closing up and I was just so excited for some reason. I was secretly hoping to accidentally get into this halloween walk with Lysander even though Val was standing in the queue impatiently waiting to go in with him. A part of me wants to go with Lysander but if I go with him I know that will be the walk to my demise.

Two more pairs left. Roxanne Weasley and Alice Longbottom were at the front, while they were about to start their journey Alice ran out of the line I was standing in, terrified, "I can't do this, I'm scared of the dark" she whimpered. "No time for all this, hey you boy! Go with the girl" said the head girl as she pushed Roxanne and Val into the walk.

I found myself standing in the front of the queue with Lysander Scamander next to me to be my partner in this journey. I was slowly dying accepting my fate, dying on halloween is pretty cool so I guess that's a positive aspect.

Michelle looked genuinely sad that I couldn't accompany her and she had to go with Asher who was behind me. I tried telling her to ask Lysander to switch spots with her but she just seemed terrified to talk to him, not to mention Michelle had always been scared of Lysander for no reason.

"Good luck" Diana mouthed to me, smiling and cheering me on. I don't know why some people are so excited to watch me cease from existence. Maybe I could try asking Lysander whether he would exchange with Mich- NAHHH, he's gonna be all snobby and give me that attitude of, 'Oh, so we're talking now?'

"You two go!" The head girl ordered us as we both hobbled into the muddy pathway with our lanterns lit. My heart started palpitating and I started sweating in the nervousness of his presence as our hands almost brushed against one another since we were walking pretty close to each other.

I didn't even know where we were headed to, we were supposed to look at the map and follow the directions but Lysander seemed to be knowing where we were going so I just followed him.

I don't know why but it was just so embarrassing standing next to him and following him wherever he was going, I had no clue but I just hoped for the best and followed him the LED lighted up pathway which looked mystical.

Our first trick or treating spot arrived with the welcome of two 5th years dressed up as Yetis with an igloo set up. We managed to grab a handful of chocolates and run before they would chase us screaming to take only one.

Both of us ran for our lives as we stopped at a distance to catch our breaths, "That was fun" I slipped up breaking the disturbing silence between us. Lysander, who seemed to be having fun changed his expression back into his numb one and started walking as I followed him like a puppy. Did I hurt him that bad that he doesn't even wanna talk anymore?

Every time we took a step I started overthinking, more and more. I really didn't want to break our weird friendship but- he's just making things so hard. "Hi" I said, trying to start a conversation. He didn't respond.

We just kept walking, my faith in our relationship kept shattering every second, every step, my chest started feeling heavy and my green eyes started tearing up. Why am I tearing up? Why should I shed tears for him and his ego and attitude?

I really want him to talk to me and not ignore me, it's so heartbreaking and annoying. Why does he always make me cry? No one can scare me like this, I'm usually the one who gives silent treatment and makes the other person cry and enjoy their tears. But this man, he's just, I look so weak in front of him.

I hung my head down hiding my eyes behind my witch hat and kept my eyes down as I walked unsteadily with a blurry vision of eyes filled with tears. Then Lysander held my shoulders as he stopped me from walking.

I wiped my tears and controlled my sobs as I looked at him, "You almost stepped on a snail" he said. I looked at his annoying face, his fucking attractive face, I really want to smash his perfect symmetrical and sharp fox like facial features with a hockey stick.

I gave him an annoyed glare as I turned my face away. How can you love and hate a person at the same time, it's just EXASPERATING.

"I don't understand Lily. Tell me one thing, why are you mad at me when I'm the one who's supposed to be mad at you" he asked. "Stay silent as you were before, I don't want to talk" I said as I started walking away speedily as he followed me.

"Where are you going, Potter? It's the wrong direction" he asked, chuckling. "Away from you, FAR AWAY FROM YOU" I said sternly. I don't know why I just couldn't control my anger. I just want to scream and just cry out loud so bad.

"I asked you out, you didn't even reply to me. What kind of respect is that? Just tell me yes or no, it's not romantic to leave me hanging" he asked. My steps slowed down as I stopped. My heart rate increased rapidly.

"It's been two weeks isn't it obvious?" I said as my voice shuddered I slowly started to tear up again. I'm rejecting him, am I not? I don't want to reject him, but-

"Not when you keep giving me signs that I might have a chance, I still waver on the lightest ray of beam of hope and I'm telling you I don't stick around if I know I don't have a chance" he said. "It's just that-" I started as I hiccuped on my sob.

I turned around to face him, his eyes were twinkling in the lantern light. "I don't know" I muttered as my voice cracked and my head hung and I looked at the ground. "What do you mean?" He asked sighing, he looked sick of this game too. "I just don't know" I whimpered lowly.

He came closer to me and touched my shoulder as I raised my head up to look at his calm face. "I don't want to force you or pressure you into anything, I gave you two weeks, if you want more I'm fine with that too but- don't act so different, I want us to be normal and comfortable around one another no matter what, I don't want to suffocate you" He said.

"I don't know" I said again. My mind was blank, it couldn't process anything, I just felt like the world had left me and I was stuck somewhere. "Just so you know, I'm here if you want to talk, I'm ready to listen to you" he said.

"I don't know who to trust, I've been having too much trust issues lately and I just don't know why I can't express myself like I used to, I feel so confined and alone" I said controlling my tears, my heart felt a bit lighter as my feelings came out and I took a gulp.

"Do you want to sit down maybe?" He asked as he started walking somewhere and I followed him. We reached a calm spot with a small stream of water and some rocks with a wooden bench which looked old.

We sat down next to each other with a foot gap. I controlled myself and got a hold as I took a sip of water Lysander gave me. "I'm scared" I said looking at him teary eyed. "I'm scared of falling in love again" I said with a heavy heart.

He was still looking at me patiently listening. "I'm scared to get hurt. I'm scared of falling again. I'm scared that I might need to go through all that misery and heartbreak, I don't want that to happen again" I confessed.

"I worry too much about the future that sometimes I lose myself in the present and I'm just so scared, I'm a coward, I'm not worthy, I'm so weak and I want to be perfect but I can't. I put in so much effort but I just can't be the perfect person I want to be and people expect so much from me and I just can't" I said as tears flowed down my eyes.

"You make me look so weak, you make me look so naïve and I feel so inferior. I'm so envious of you, I can't love you" I confessed the truth. He still didn't show any reaction. "I don't deserve your love, I'm just scared that I can't fully love you and trust you back, I don't want to fool you or hurt you Ly, I want to be true to my feelings" I paced.

"It's hard not to love you but, I want to compete with you, I want to fight you, I want you as my opponent so I can be better than you and not fool you into loving me, you're my friend and I just can't-" I said as I calmed myself down and looked at him. He touched my shoulder and said, "I don't want to leave you alone in this suffocating invisible smoke, Lily stop trying to oppose me and try to learn from me" he said as he paused.

"No one can be perfect, don't set so many expectations because they'll disappoint you. Nothing is ever enough. You're not weak, you're strong, you're underestimating yourself. I don't know how to do this whole pep talk thing but- One thing you should know is that, you can never be someone you can't" he said.

I felt so annoyed and so tragic on seeing me in his condition. I also felt ashamed of how Lysander always looks at me in my weakest moments. He definitely judged me as some weepy and sad girly girl who pretends to be brave.

"I think, you're perfect the way you are and you're good, you know you're good. Don't be so hard on yourself. I know it must be hard, people might have a lot of expectations but they can't determine who you are" he said as he held my hand and spread his fingers on my sweaty palm and interlocked his fingers with mine.

"Don't be envious of me already, I'm not even yours, YET" he popped up with that cheesy line. "Stop being nice, it's annoying cause it's not you" I said, turning away a bit red.

"Fine then, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER LILY LUNA POTTER, GET OVER IT, I'M BETTER THAN YOU. STOP BEING SUCH AN ADAMANT TODDLER" he screamed at my face. I got furious, what the fuck is actually wrong with him.

I frowned. "To be honest, I see this as a win. You look hotter when you're angry" he said in a flattering way. "I hope you die" I cursed at him as I pushed his shoulders. He smiled as said, "Thanks for the boon, hope those four words cut my life span into two". Why is he so annoyingly, PERFECT? Why do I like him when he's annoying me? That's just crazy.

"I just feel so anxious these days, everyone is just evil and twisted" I started complaining again. "Don't ever trust anyone completely, don't even trust yourself, let alone others" he said. "It's just hard being like this- I feel so lonely and I feel so depressed and confused. I can't see anything straight, everything is just so hazy and I can't focus. I'm such a mess" I said once again, saddening.

"You're a mess but you're the mess I want. I want you to help you, let's get through this together" he said.

"Together?"

"Together" he said affirmatively. His confident eyes, his dedicated facial expression. He's so dedicated and passionate about this but I can't- I can't do this. "I can't love you" I said as I started to sob once again.

"Can you stop crying?" He asked as he wiped my tears with my robe. I just tried silencing my sobs. "Everytime I'm with you, you cry. It's like I'm the reason you keep crying. It makes me feel so bad, you know? You look so pretty when you smile and everytime I'm not with you you look so happy. I keep doubting myself" he said as I sobbed louder.

"You make me feel so-" I started as my brain buffered to search for the word. "Alive" he completed it for me. "I can't love you, I don't want to" I said. "Why?" He questioned. "I'm scared" I said. "I won't say we're forever but, I'll make sure the world doesn't divide us. I want you to take a moment and think" he said.

He clutched my palms tighter as he came closer to me. "I'm not gonna pressurise you but, you have to take a stand Lily. I promise you I'll fight with you as long as I stand" he said. I felt a bit settled, I took a deep breath to stop my sobs. I have to take the risk.

I looked into his silvery blue eyes, his beautiful blonde hair... The patience and effort he took to deal with me, all this running and chasing ends here.

He brought himself down for me, he patiently listened to me, he might be toxic but he did it all for me. I just want someone to listen to me, someone who can hold me, someone who can tolerate me, someone who can make me happy, someone who I can share with. Why am I so serious about this? I'm used to speed dating and dating for fun.

It's just something about him which hits different. It hits different cause it's him. I calmed down, For once I let go of my fears and my ghosts. I stopped crying and sobbing, why am I burdening him with unnecessary thoughts, I'm making him feel like he's troubling me but I just love his attention and company.

"It's so annoying how I look so weak when I'm with you" I said looking away angrily. "You're not weak, you're just not as strong as I am and I'm ready to strengthen you if you take my hand" he said as he moved closer to me and placed his right arm on my waist as he pulled me closer.

My heart skipped a beat.

"Lysander" I said as I looked into his eyes and the constellations formed by those silver flecks in them. I held his hand and squeezed it. "I-" I started as I blushed and my heart once again started racing.

Who could ever leave me? But who could stay? Who could? He could. He did. He stayed. He proved his love. I love him. That's the truth.

"Lysander, I-" I said trying to look at him, he just kept giving me his blank stare and starry eyes as a response. I found myself speechless and lost in his eyes.

I love you.

Why is it that hard? It's easy when it comes to others. Why can't I look at him without having a heart attack and pacing like a ghost. "You don't have to if you don't want to, it's your choice" he said with a smug smile. He knew- He knows that he won. That smug-

I got quite irritated as I turned my face away from him, he turned my face back to face him as my heart kept running and running as I felt quite dizzy, "Why is this so hard?" I snapped at myself as I looked down. He put his left hand on my shoulder and squeezed it.

I suddenly got flustered and embarrassed at myself as I turned the other way around, "I suck at confessing, I don't have experience in that" I said in a null voice frowning. I'm just too afraid to say those three words.

"I suck at confessions so, well, I- like you I guess or whatever"

I said screwing my life up in an unhinged emotionless voice. Lily, what kind of a confession was that. I want to cry so bad right now, how did I screw up. My heart skipped a beat as I felt Lysander creep around in my back.

He touched my neck as he snuggled his head on my shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me as I blushed and my face turned as scarlet as my hair as he started playing with my hair.

"Don't get too happy, just because I like you doesn't mean I don't hate you. I like you cause I hate you" I snapped annoyed at myself, can't believe I confessed, that was SO BAD- I DIDN'T EVEN TELL HIM THAT I LOVED HIM, I ACTED LIKE SUCH AN ARROGANT BRAT.

"You're so stubborn and arrogant" he said in a trance as I was still in the comfort of his arms. "You're adorable" he said, squeezing me as I was internally dying in abash. "Shut up" I snapped. It was so cute seeing Lysander like a love sick kitty snuggling on my neck. He released me from his arms as I turned to face him.

The second I looked at him and our eyes met I turned pink as I quickly looked at the ground. He placed his hands on my chest. "Are you sick? Your heart rate is high" he asked. "Sick of dealing with you, yes" I said stubbornly looking away as his fingers crept onto my skin and he held my neck as I looked into his gorgeous captivating eyes. I looked away from him.

"Mad at me?" He asked as he assessed my stubborn attitude. "No, it's just- I don't know" I said, enchanted by his voice which gave me goosebumps. He moved closer to me as he placed his lips on my cheek and gave a gentle kiss.

I closed my eyes in the joy of his lips touching my skin. He turned my head towards him as we moved closer to fill in the gap. Our noses touched as our lashes met. He closed his eyes as he brought himself towards me. My hand involuntarily jumped to his neck as I rubbed my fingertips against his sun kissed skin. I felt happy in the sense of possession.

"Lysander you bitch, you really made me go crazy"

Can't believe he actually brainwashed me into loving him.

Our foreheads touched each other, he opened his eyes to look at me, I looked back at him as my face turned redder every time his eyes met mine. I felt like I was found. I felt full. I felt like levitating, all those forbidden feelings are finally out. It can finally be legal and legit.

"I-" I started as I struggled as I looked at him in a daze.

"I- I- lo-" I stuttered as my palms broke into sweat and flushed in shades of pink and red as my cheeks puffed up. "Are you done?" He mumbled in his low voice as he pulled him for a kiss.

"I love you" I muttered into his lips.

I meant every word, I really did love him and I'm no longer afraid to admit it, it just happened so that this truth was the one being a burden in my heart.

I touched his neck and pulled him closer as I felt his soft blonde hair behind his neck as I inhaled some perfume. Our noses touched and our lips lingered on our faces and our breath got heavier as I gently placed my lips on his and kissed him softly. I felt a sense of nervousness and a sense of excitement.

My feelings were mixed but one thing was clear, I'm one of the luckiest girls alive. He is definitely the sweetest kisser in the world.

He kissed me back as we enjoyed our slow, gentle. My stomach was filled with butterflies as I broke into sweat, my heart was pounding and I was holding onto dear life trying hard not to pass out.

Time went on our kiss got passionate, we lost control of ourselves and the situation had been completely lost as we devoured each other's lips. As our lips locked perfectly we slowly progressed from soft light hearted kisses to harder and stronger ones.

My other hand, which was sweaty, grabbed his black shirt in haste. The cloth seemed quite expensive as the fabric felt soft. My cheeks turned red as one of his hands grabbed my waist harder.

My hands ran down his chest as they traced down his arms which were made of surprisingly strong muscles. Lysander was always the kind of person to look frail and weak because he looked slim and wore baggy oversized clothes due to his broad shoulders.

I felt the veins and nerves on his hands as I interlock my fingers with his and I spread my sweat on his. His palms were soft but not as much as mine. The kiss was long lasting and I savoured every minute of it. I don't want it to end. Ever.

It felt complete and I had the same satisfaction as completely reading a good book or having a good cup of coffee. His lips were my idea of luxury.

We pulled apart gently as our lips were still in the presence of each other and we were still catching our breaths from"Lily, I Love You" he muttered. "I love you too" I whispered back until I realised how embarrassing it was.

I took a look at his collarbone. I couldn't hold back my playgirl hands. I touched his neck and dragged them down to his collarbone. "They're legally mine, always" I muttered as I turned a bit red at my own cheesy dialogues. Lysander picked up the dollar of my necklace, it was the one he gave me on my 16th birthday.

"It's so pretty, thanks, I love it" I said. "Did you realise the compass doesn't point in the right directions?" He said. I looked at the compass needle and he was right, how come I never noticed that before?

He looked at the compass and pulled the chain closer as he pulled me closer. The compass needle which points north pointed at him but I was the one in the northern direction.

"I gave you this so that no matter what, you'll always find your way to me, the needle points to my heart" he said as I watched the trembling needle settle and calm down as the compass neared his chest.

I looked at him with contempt, he's just so romantic and cute. "It's late we should head back, let's save some for later" Lysander said as I adjusted his hair and pulled back to take a good view of him.

"So will you officially be my secret girlfriend?" He asked a bit flustered as he looked sideways to avoid eye contact. He's just so adorable. I smiled and clutched his hand as I heard a thunder.

"I'll be glad to be entitled your secret girlfriend" I muttered as I looked at him with a bit of confidence. I'm glad today happened.

"I was the one who scared Alice into leaving the line, I'm glad I did" he said as we started walking back. "You manipulative psycho, how do you do it?" I asked. "A wizard never reveals his secrets" he said looking down at me as he patted my head and I was relaxed.

We walked for a bit, the weather was lovely. "You won, like always" I said as I looked at him observing our crazy height difference. "I didn't win" he said, smiling looking forward.

"We won" he said as he looked at me with the chillest eyes freezing my mind. "Rule number one, don't be this cheesy, that's not who you are" I snapped. "But I like annoying you" he added. "What kind of pleasure do you get from annoying me?!" I snapped.

"My cute Lily looks like a young barn owl when she is angry, what do you expect? I want to keep seeing her so flustered" he said. "Rule number two, don't Un-Lysander yourself" she said.

"Yeah, don't worry. I just kinda got hyped, what can I say you're so addictive" he said. "Rule number three, no corny and cringy pickup lines" I warned him. He's just so CUTE when he gets excited.

"I want us to be a secret, I don't want anything external separating us. I want us to have a beautiful secretive relationship where no one can judge us. I don't want you to act differently and you know be perfect like some kind of programmed doll, I want your complications" he said.

"Is it because you're scared of the media?" I asked. "I'm not scared, I'm just not ready for a public relationship, I don't want this to interfere with my school life, I don't want you to be a distraction but I want you to be a part of my life where I can express myself and I can be true to you. I don't want it to be public and exposed" he said.

"You'll always be my beautiful little secret" I said as I looked at him and smiled. "What now?" He asked. "What now what?" I questioned back.

"You're now my-" he said as he paused. He turned away as his face turned a bit pink, "Girlfriend" he muttered lowly in embarrassment. I turned as magenta as him as I started fiddling with my hair and fingers nervously.

This is so awkward. We both were walking in silence together as we exchanged small embarrassing glances. This is what happens when two introverts are together. We both were later met by more students with lanterns as we returned without even finishing the trial but this was way better anyways.

We looked at each other and smiled, "Tomorrow, we'll sort things out" he said. He touched my hair and looked into my eyes and warmed my soul, "For now, nothing happened" he said. NO, I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE HIM, WE NEED TO TALK MORE! WE NEED TO SORT THINGS OUT... IT FEELS SO RUSHED.

"It's rushed don't you think I feel like we need to talk more and sort things" I said. "Tomorrow? Please? I can't come up with another lie to tell my roomies and you need to sleep too, you don't want to fall sick, it's late already" he said. I gave him a glare with puffy cheeks, I didn't want him to leave. "Fine" I said disapprovingly.

He looked at me as he said, "Please don't be mad at me Lily pad". "Yeah yeah" I said disapprovingly. "Lils, say 'ok' in a nice way" he said. "But I'm not ok with it" I snapped. "It's not like I care, we'll meet tomorrow, I'm just informing" he said. "Stop being a toxic boyfriend already" I giggled at his stern expression.

I was quite confused about how we are going to handle a secret relationship. I guess tomorrow will be my first day as Lysander's girlfriend.

Lysander's girlfriend. I smiled at that thought.

I watched him walk away as he mouthed to me a 'bye-bye' to join his friends as I joined Michelle and Diana. "What were you doing that long?" Diana asked suspiciously. "We got lost and it was pretty boring" I lied shamelessly.

Today was good.

Love is weird but fucking beautiful.

☆꧁✬◦°˚°◦. 𝕃𝕚𝕝𝕪.◦°˚°◦✬꧂☆