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𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍𝐄-𝐇𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍;

𝙼𝙰𝙶𝙸𝙲, 𝙼𝙰𝙳𝙽𝙴𝚂𝚂, 𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚅𝙴𝙽, 𝚂𝙸𝙽...

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𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐃𝐄𝐃 HOUSE Streets of Diagon Alley I and Lorcan were awkwardly standing near Leaky Cauldron waiting for the rest of the idiots to arrive. "I told you we should have left an hour late! What made you think they'll be here right on time, we don't have wifi or data too" Lorcan complained.

"Jared should be here, I wonder why he's running late, probably his mother- I mean that devil of a bitch" I said. "Ly, don't respect your elders'' Lorcan said laughing. I gave him a blank stare. "Hey!!" Jared mouthed us as we saw him far away walking towards us.

"Brooo" Lorcan said as he walked towards him and they gave each other a hug. "Hey" I said Jared came in for a hug, I flinched and he switched to a handshake. "How's it going?" He asked smiling. "Ok" I replied. "Bro I can't believe you wrote me like 27 letter like bro, how?" He asked. "I can text and write I just can't do face to face, it gives me anxiety" I replied.

"Will Val reach by at least tomorrow?" Lorcan asked, laughing. "Bro, he went to Brazil man, he just came home yesterday, give him a break" Jared replied. "What happened to Hugo?" JJ asked. "Let's be honest he's so extra, no one likes him" I said, smirking. "I think he's cool, he is the only one who can understand me. You are a psychopath. I still can't relate to you, he's more like my brother." Lorcan said.

"Do you like Hugo?" I asked him. Oh no, the lemonade Lily gave me is taking its effect, I am becoming drunk. "Bro, no I don't" Lorcan pleaded. "You do that's why you're defending him, I was born in the same uterus as you! You have to be supporting me" I argued. "Oh no" Jared sighed.

"Then do you like Lily?" He asked. To be honest, I don't know but if I tell him that he'll start a Lilysander (Oh my god our names merge together like two moles of hydrogen and one mole of oxygen to make two moles of water, a perfect balance which is necessary for life) fan club so I'm denying this time.

"I don't like her" I replied. "I'M HUNGRY I'M GOING TO DIE HOW ABOUT WE SIT DOWN AND EAT!" Jared said desperately trying to change the topic. "Hugo and Val?" Lorcan asked. "See, he mentions Hugo's name first" I said, smiling like a maniac. Ok, something is wrong with me.

"We'll wait for them inside, they can figure that out" Jared said. We walked inside and ordered some tongue tying lemon squash. "How was holidays and all that?" Jared asked. "I saw him naked" Lorcan said. "Tell me one reason he's not gay, he likes seeing naked guys" I said. "Can you both cut it out of it?" Jared said, irritated by our bickering.

"Here is your lemon squash" said a lady as she served us. "You guys hung out with Lily?" Jared asked. "Yeah and guess what he and Lily were like flirting the whole time. DUDE ITS SO ANNOYING YOU KNOW" Lorcan said getting hyped. "It was just sarcasm bro, it was fake" I pleaded. "They were calling each other baby and this idiot was blushing and looking at her the whole time" Lorcan said. "CAN YOU STOP MAKING UP LIES?" I screamed at him.

"You're making me regret coming all the way from Versailles" Jared said as he took a sip in his juice. "It's just floo powder bro" Lorcan said. "Still, I gotta get ready" Jared complained. "You said you hit a senior with a car right?" I asked him randomly changing the topic as I remembered the letter he wrote back.

"WOAH WHAT WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?" Lorcan asked. "Two weeks back I accidentally hit my car" Jared said in guilt. "YOU CAN DRIVE? YOU DRIVE UNDERAGE YOOOOO" Lorcan asked, freaking out. "It's not something I'm proud of— " he said, cringing.

"So you like her?" Lorcan asked. "WHAT NO, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" Jared asked. "Lorky , he's panicking, I think it's true" I said, rubbing salt on the wound. "I KNEW IT"  Lorcan said. "NO WHAT- Guys stop, it's not funny" Jared said confused.

"So when yall getting married?" I asked him as I cracked up. "Please invite me, I want free food" Lorcan said laughing. Me and Lorcan were literally laughing by rolling on the floor, I couldn't control it at all. I'M SO HIGH! Jared was on the verge of breaking as he pleaded, "I- It was my mistake I told you guys".

"So what's her name?" Lorcan asked. "Something in 'J' if i'm not wrong it was Judy" I replied. "JADY OMG PERFECT" Lorcan said laughing. "WAIT LET'S DO 'F L A M E S'" I suggested. "Paper!!!" Lorcan asked.

I pulled out a small notebook and pen from my infinite magic pouch I got from Weasleys Wizard Wheezes. "Wait what's your middle name?" Lorcan asked Jared. "I don't think I have one, can you just stop?" Jared said snatching the notebook from Lorcan in an irritated manner. "NO! DON'T LOSE LORKY! " I said as I pulled the notebook. Wait why do I even need a notebook. I'm a freaking human calculator.

"It's Marriage!! Flames for Judy and Jared are MARRIAGE!" I said out of excitement. "Here's a toast to my human calculator! And again JJ you better invite me" Lorcan said as we both clanked our glasses. Jared was just aloof.

"Can we do FLAMES for Lily and Lysander?" He said savagely. "Oh me and Val did it once, it was Love '' Lorcan giggled. "No idiot, it's affection but if we include our middle names it's marriage" I blurted out. I just can't stand wrong calculations!

"What did I miss?" Val asked as he popped up behind us in this whole mess. PERFECT TIME VALENTINO! "VAL GUESS WHAT JARED IS COMMITTED!" Lorcan screamed, "LORCAN LOVES HUGO" I screamed at the same time followed by Jared, "LILYSANDER IS A REAL THING". Val just stood there confused, "What the fuck is happening? Did you all live a whole year without me or something?" He asked.

"Sit down" I said as we sat down and chatted about our previous conversations. A few minutes later Hugo came in. "Hey" he said as he sat next to Lorcan. Me, Val and Jared started laughing like morons. "What?" Hugo let out a gasp. "We were just talking about you and Lorcan falling in love" I said.

"WHAT?" Hugo asked, more confused. "Poor kid guys, give him a break he just joined a mental asylum"Jared said laughing. "I'm so confused" Hugo said. Lorcan was groaning in silent rage and the rest of us were just high as fuck.

"We should visit WWW after this" Val said. "What's WWW?" Jared asked. "BRO, ITS WEASLEY'S WIZARD WHEEZES '' Lorcan said, disgusted by the fact that Jared didn't know the abbreviation.

"We better not bump into Lily, we don't want Lysander blushing, I can't even imagine it" Val said. "Lily? Potts is at home" I replied. "Oh, I called her to take care of my sis and assist her in buying books" Val said. "Oh no, Lysander, are you protective of your girlfriend? Are you gonna beat Val up cause he's using Lily as a slave?" Jared asked, laughing.

"Why did you let her babysit Amelia, Lily needs a babysitter of her own? '' I said. "Maybe she's like that to you cause she's your babyyyyyyy~" Val sang as he high-fived with Jared and Lorcan and started laughing. WHY ARE THEY TEAMING UP TO BULLY ME?!

"How is things between you and Diana?" Lorcan asked. "She's getting kinda annoying and she keeps writing me so much letter and she expects me to reply yo every single one of them and as you know I'm not really a letter guy and let's be honest even if I do write her letters its not like she's going to understand anything I wrote with my handwriting" Val complained.

"I thought being in love was supposed to be fun or something" Hugo said. "It's all fun only for the first few weeks after that it's all just nagging and questioning" Val said face palming. "This is why you should join my anti-lovers cult" I suggested.

"I'm pretty sure you're the only one going to be in the cult till the end and if Lily walks in I'm pretty sure you'll close it down" Jared said. "Dude come on Lily has Keres, why'd you all keep shipping me with her, she's taken" I said. "Be honest Ly, you're the kind of person to do anything to get what you want, which means even manipulating someone you wholeheartedly love even for the price of the world burning down the world" Jared said.

OH SHIT I HATE THE FACT THAT HE WAS RIGHT. "Yeah, but-" I started when Val cut me off and said, "So if you're ok with even burning the world down, what will be the problem in eliminating a dude called Keres. I'm pretty sure he won't last a minute if he had a fight with you" he said. "At this point you're all manipulating me into loving her, but sadly its not gonna work on me babes" I said giving a sweet but psycho smile.

"What was the thing about Jared?" Hugo asked. "DUDE JARED GOT HIMSELF A SENIOR" Val screamed. "NO WAY" Hugo gasped in excitement. "GUYS NO STOP ITS ALL FAKE NEWS, I don't even know anything about her I barely talked" Jared said trying to convince everyone. "JJ, if you get married please invite me too" Hugo said and everyone started laughing.

"I feel like all of us are so high today like dude we usually aren't this chatty, we usually just cry over homework and classes and gossip about teachers" Val said. "I KNOW RIGHT" Lorcan said, giving a flabbergasted expression.

"Dudeeeee guess what do you know about our muggle studies professor? I saw her snogging and flirting with the professor who teaches alchemy for the seniors" Val said. "WHAT NO WAY, ISN'T SHE MARRIED?" Lorcan screamed. "Shhhh" I said, indicating to them to lower their voice as some people were watching us.

"I know right, she's cheating on her husband" Val said. "My mom cheated on my dad so many times, he knows that. I don't think he gives a shit about it" Jared said. "Your mom's a bitch, she doesn't even count as a human, firstly why'd you even call her mom?" Val said.

"It's all about respect" Jared said. "RESPECT MY FOOT" I screamed and I realized I screamed too loud and I slowly sank under the table as people looked at me. "Exactly, forget foot! Respect my ass" Lorcan said.

"Ok chill" Jared said trying to calm Lorcan down. "What do you think we'll be talking about in ten years if we sat together like this" Hugo asked. "We'll be like 25 around that time" Lorcan said. "Since when can you do math?" I asked him. Lorcan just gave me a sarcastic smile.

"One thing which won't change is that I'll break in both cases" Val said laughing. "Not something you should be proud of" Jared said in a concerned tone. "I feel scared of growing up" Hugo said. "We have O.W.L.s this year so I better put a stop to all my jokes for a while" Lorcan said. "Piece of advice, don't ever pre-plan. Things just don't tend to work out the way you want them to and then you'll be disappointed" I said.

"Easy for you to say you don't need to study" Hugo said. "You mean I studied all this in like third year, so I'm going to focus on seventh year portions this year" I said. "Let me introduce you to me, I haven't been studying since 1st year, I just mug up shit before entering the exam hall" Val said. "Again Val, nothing to be proud of" Jared said in disappointment.

"How are your preparations going JJ?" I asked. "I revised all the portions upto half of third year but yeah, I still need to study though" Jared said. "Wow, I could really use some of that motivation bro, I can't even bring myself to open a book and sit simply in front of it to at least act like studying" Val said.

"Either way we already know who is going to make history by scoring one of the highest marks in the history of all the O.W.L.s marks" Lorcan said pointing at me. "Don't put that much pressure on me" I said calmly, NO JOKES I WAS ACTUALLY CALM NO SARCASM.

  "Ok now, we should get to the real reason why we came here, TO BUY SUPPLIES AND BOOKS" Jared said. "Come on, we have like a whole darned day" Lorcan said, sighing. "Mate, take a look at the queue, it's 30 feet long, so we better get in line if we want ours within 2 hours minimum" Hugo said. "He's right" I said.

"No way, is that MONGREL?" Val gasped looking at a mid aged lady walking with her high heels and long top. "I can smell her perfume from here, my nose is itching" Jared said sniffing. "FUCK WE HAVE TO GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE SHE SEES US" Lorcan warmed. "FUCK SHE'S LOOKING THIS WAY DUCK!" I said and we all awkwardly bent under the tables.

"LyLy, guess what Fuck rhymes with, Duck!" Val said giggling. "Let's award him an order of merlin to Val for figuring that out!" Hugo said sarcastically. Then there were taps on the table. We all came from under the table in the presence of Nancy Mongrel.

"Why are you all under the table? You have chairs to sit on don't you?" She asked as she started laughing by herself. Is she retarded or something, that was such a lame joke. "Lorcan lost his sock- I mean ring-" Val lied to her terribly. "I'm not married to wear a ring" Lorcan whispered to Val as dashed on his shoulders and all of us were giving fake smiles as if we were glad to bump into a bitch in a friends meeting.

"5th years right?" She asked. We all nodded our heads in sync. "Which one of you is the prefect?" She asked, turning at me and Lorcan. "Him" Lorcan said, pointing at me. "I honestly felt like you're the most suitable candidate as you seem to balance studies and extracurricular properly" she said, smiling in an unpleasant way.

"Also don't wear earrings, you're a boy" she said to me. "It's a piercing" I corrected her. "It's against the school code and you're supposed to be a role model for the other students so please keep all these undignified things away from Hogwarts" she said. I WANNA RESIGN SO BAD RIGHT NOW LIKE IF I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HER SHIT I WOULD RATHER JUST JUMP INTO THE BLACK LAKE AND GET EATEN BY THE GIANT SQUID.

"Also, Anderson and Scamander we have O.W.L.s this year so please focus on your studies"she said. She gave a glare at Hugo and Jared and turned back to me.

"Also, all this baggy and loose uniforms and messy hair, all this attitude and style is strictly forbidden. People your age might think it's all 'cool' but it's not. So the real cool is studying, getting marks and having discipline is important. Relationships and not going to get you anywhere" She said.

WHAT THE FUCK IS HER PROBLEM BRO I'M LITERALLY ONE OF THE MOST SANE STUDENTS OF HOGWARTS AND NOW SHE'S DRIVING ME INSANE. DUDE LIKE WHAT? SHE SHOULD BE QUESTIONING PEOPLE WITH 20 GIRLFRIENDS AND THE KIDS DOING DRUGS. I'M THE LEAST OF THE PROBLEMS IN HOGWARTS RIGHT NOW.

"Mr. Scamander, do you understand?" She asked me. "I do" I replied and continued, "But that doesn't mean I'm going to lick your heels" I said savagely. My friends were at the breaking point of laughter.

Mongrel looked at me and gave me that ugly smile. "You forgot, professor" she said. "There is no need for you to call me 'Professor', professor" I said smiling just like her. "Attitude, indiscipline, speaking too much for your own good. Seems all fun now all this disrespecting and all" she said. "Are you going to give me detention?" I asked her cooly. OH SHIT THE WAY VAL STARTED LAUGHING WAS JUST UNEXPLAINABLE.

"Good day" she said and left. "Oh gosh LY I LOVE YOU MAN YOU'RE INSANE" Val said as he came in for a hug but I moved away. "Dude, why'd you do that?" Jared asked concerningly. "I only told her the truth" I replied. "Yeah but now she's going to target you, you know that right? Do you remember last year a Ravenclaw got targeted by her and he attempted suicide" Jared said. "Wait, that was real?" Lorcan asked.

"If anyone is dying this year, it's going to be Mongrel's fucking ego" I said with a silent rage with my eyebrows striffened up.

"Hey guys" said Lily's voice behind me. I turned around to see Lily and Amelia. Oh gosh' she was wearing a green dress matching her pretty eyes and silver hoop earrings, she looks so good- ok snap outta it.
Then Amelia whispered something to Lily and giggled, Lily seemed pretty upset about it though. WAS IT ABOUT ME? IS SHE TALKING ABOUT ME? WAIT WHY DO I CARE AGAIN?

"Thought we would visit until we saw Mongrel and turned back but now that she's gone it's fine I guess" Lily said. "Lysander'' Amelia called me out. Oh gosh it's so weird hearing my name from an unfamiliar person like her it just felt illegal.

"Yes?" I asked and she called me closer, I bent down to her height and whispered to her ears, "You don't like Keke do you?" Who the fuck is Keke?

"What?" I asked her, confused. "Keres" she said. OH NO, WHY? JUST WHY DOES THIS GUY KEEP HAUNTING ME? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO HIM? I NEED TO SERIOUSLY GET RID OF HIM AND GET LILY BACK. I NEED HER TO COME BACK TO ANNOY ME I'M SO BOREDDDDDD...

"VAL! She's telling me she has a crush on Lorcan and she wants help from me" I complained a false report to Val. "WHAT?" Val asked furiously. "OI! STOP LYING!" She said. "You said that did you forget?" I asked her. "Are you insane?" She asked. I had the perfect answer.

I bent down and whispered into her ears, "For Lily" with my ice frozen ground of a heart through which finally, a rose had grown.

XX~𝐿𝓎𝓈𝒶𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇~XX