"Ghay!" I yell sitting up.

I look around panting. I run my fingers through my hair. I was sweating like a waterfall. Man, oh man, that was a rough nightmare. I breathe. Another nightmare, the same one. Again, and again, it happens. The same nightmare constantly stabbing me. I grip my head.

The worst part it wasn't even a dream. It was real. I caused it. It was a real story. A story I've never looked at the same way. A story that still wakes me up in cold sweat. I wish I've never done the experiment. I wish I've never made that substance. I've wish I never hesitated. There's a lot of stuff I wish I could take back. 

But I couldn't. I had to live with it. It haunts every minute of my life. I can't even look at my dad in the eyes. He has no idea what a monster I've turned into that day. I was consumed by so much hate. So much anger, so much hate. 

I get up. No way I can go back to sleep. I tally another mark. The mark represents the sleepless nights. There were a lot. Like a hundred or a thousand at best. I have to buys my mind with something else.