Kiss My Butler

Zora POV

Today was Geoffrey's birthday so we were all in his room. Will walked over to his bed and smiled as Geoffrey woke up and screamed

"See, I told them you were awake" Will told us

"Happy birthday, Geoffrey!" We all yelled

"Oh, my! I'm so touched. Um, may I get you anything?" Geoffrey asked

"Geoffrey, don't be silly. You're always worried about pleasing us. But today it's Saturday, we're home and we're waiting on you." Mrs. Banks told him

"But, but this is highly irregular." Geoffrey told her

"Geoffrey, I don't wanna hear it. Today we're your butlers. Here's breakfast in bed." Hilary said as Carlton gave him the tray

"Is there anything else you would like?" Hilary asked 

"Um, a spot of tea." He said

"Carlton." Hilary said

"Will." Carlton said

"Ashley." Will said

"Zora" Ashley said

"Hilary" I said

"I'll get the tea. Would you like anything with that?" Geoffrey asked

"Geoffrey, relax. It's your birthday. And we're going to do all of your most hated chores." Mr. Banks said

"But, sir, I don't hate any of my chores." Geoffrey told him

"Well, we do." He told him

"So, Geoffrey, are you gonna do anything special for your birthday?" Ashley asked him

"Oh, most assuredly, Ms. Ashley. Tonight I will be enjoying a BBC broadcast of Gilbert and Sullivan's "H.M.S. Pinafore" followed by a penetrating interview by David Frost." Geoffrey told her

"Ooh! And they say the man can't party." I said sarcastically

"Well, Geoffrey, before we get you your tea there's something else we'd like to do for you." Carlton said as he blew a kazoo

"Carlton, put away that tired old kazoo, please. Get busy for me one time,
skinny A." Will said as he started beatboxing

♪ Happy birthday my man G ♪

♪ Because you knows the most
about butlery ♪

♪ So don't move an inch
stay where you sit ♪

♪ We're gonna treat you
like the king of Brit ♪ she rapped

♪ Huh ♪♪ Will said as they crossed thier arms and gave a mean mug as Geoffrey laughed

We all walked downstairs into the living room

"Did you see that look on Geoffrey's face? He just lit up." Carlton said

"I never thought I'd say this, but it feels really good to do something for somebody else for a change." Hilary said sitting down

"Aren't we supposed to make him some tea?" Ashley asked

"Oh, right. Ashley, honey, how'd you like to go into the kitchen and introduce Mr. Tea Bag and Mr. Teapot to Mr. Boiling Water?" Hilary asked

"Hilary, how would you like to make the tea before I take away Mr. Allowance?" Mrs. Banks said as I sat down

"Mother, please! Don't talk down to me." Hilary said as her and Ashley walked out

"Yo, yo, yo, yo, I got it, I know what I'mma get G for his birthday." Will said

"What?" I asked

"Here. Let me give you a hint." Will said as he started strutting and snapped

"Little Richard?" Mr. Banks asked

"Oh, shut up! No, no, no. I want to hook
Geoffrey up with a woman, man. You know, so he can get busy." Will said

"I think Geoffrey's busy enough,
what with all his chores." Carlton said as he sat next to me and I curled up to his side so we can do our crossword

"You, you don't get it..It's, look,
it's Geoffrey's birthday and he's just
staying up in the bat cave listening to his radio. I mean, straight up, the man is depressed." Will told us

"No, he's not depressed. He's British. It's the man's birthday. Leave him alone." Mr. Banks told him

"If Geoffrey is interested, I don't see any harm in introducing him to a nice woman." Mrs. Banks said

"Oh, here she goes." Mr. Banks said

"Here what goes?" Will asked

"Your poor Aunt Vivian seems to think she's a matchmaker." Mr. Banks said

"In her mind, she's kind of the Chuck Woolery of Bel-Air." Carlton said

"When Carlton and I first met she tried to set us up" I said

"But you two would look so cute together" she cooed

"When I was in college, I introduced
three different couples and they all got married." She told us

"Wait didn't you say by your fifth reunion, they were all divorced." I asked

"Look, I just get them to the altar. After that they're on their own." She said

"People, people, please! I do not want to hear your dirty laundry. Geoffrey deserves a woman interested in a serious, long-lasting relationship.
And I know exactly where to find her.
The mall!" Will said

"This sounds like the start of a Law & Order episode" I said

Will left as the Banks family and I were doing Geoffrey's chores. I was sitting on the couch folding clothes as Mrs. and Mr. Banks said wiping down, Hilary was trying to wrap Geoffrey's present and Carlton and Ashley were making dinner

"Wait till Geoffrey sees this. When I'm done, he won't have to polish this for a month. Look, Philip, I can see myself." Mrs. Banks said

"Well, I can't." He said as he scrubbed harder

"Ooh! Ah..Argh! Stay smooth! Don't buckle!" Hilary yelled

"Hilary, what's the problem?" Mrs. Banks asked

"I've never wrapped a present before.
Geoffrey's always wrapped my presents. Geoffrey?" She yelled

"Hilary, you can't ask him to wrap his own present." I told her

"Oh, I guess that's another one of those unwritten rules." She said as Will and Jazz walked in the house

"Man! Yo, two hours at the mall. And I ain't get no girls."

"Well, what did you expect? You went to the mall with girl-away there." Hilary said

"For your information, Hilary Jazz here happens to be the master when it comes to cracking on the girls. Yo, the boy is irresistible." Will said

"Sure, maybe during a blackout." Hilary said as he sat next to her

"I'd love to get a hold of you during a blackout." Jazz flirted with her

"Daddy.." Hilary yelled as Mr. Banks picked him up and threw him out the house

"Ah, that's better. Now, where were we?" Mr. Banks asked walking back into the living room as Ashley and Carlton walked in

"Well, in honor of Geoffrey's birthday
we are preparing an incredible feast." Carlton said

"Beefstroganoff, potatoesau gratin
and apple brown Betty." Ashley said

"Hm, sounds delicious. When will it be ready?" Mrs. Banks asked

"In 55 seconds. Just tell us when to zap it." Carlton said

"Could you put a hold on dinner, please? I'm trying to find Geoffrey
a girl." Will said

"The words "Mission impossible" come to mind." Carlton said

"I know someone." Ashley said sitting down next to me

"Really?" Will asked as Carlton walked behind the couch and wrapped his arms around me as I leaned back

"Uh-huh. You know my friend,
Samantha?" She said

"Um, Ashley, maybe I should explain
some of the finer points of the law to you." Will told her

"I was gonna say that Samantha has this nice, sweet nanny who just came from England. And she says Helen has nothing to do and she just sits in her room at night, knitting." Ashley told him

"Ooh! I smell a match." Mrs. Banks said

"So how long has this nanny been in America?" Will asked

"Two weeks." Ashley said

"Perfect. A lonely woman, new to our country. She probably won't even notice what a Melvin Geoffrey is. Yo, Geoffrey!" Will said

"Hey, Ashley, you go invite her. Go ahead." Will told her as she walked away

"Hey, come on, the rest of y'all beat it." Will said as we got up and walked out

Later that night we were giving Geoffrey his presents as I laid on head on Carlton's shoulder

"Oh, madam, sir a round-trip ticket to England. Thank you." He told Mr. and Mrs. Banks

"We thought it would be nice for you to see your family." Mrs. Banks said

"Oh, yes, I suppose I should drop in on them." He said

"This is from Ashley and me. Of course,
I paid the lion's share." Carlton said giving him a box

"Happy birthday, Geoffrey." Ashley told him

"English leather. English toffee. An English muffin." He said as I gave him my present

"This is from my grandfather and I" I told him as he opened the box and it was a brand new watch

"Oh my Miss Zora. Thank you so much. Tell your grandfather I appreciate it." He told me as he put the watch on and the doorbell rang

"Yeah, that sounds like my present, G.
But I'll leave the unwrapping to you." Will said

"Oh, Will, must you be so ribald?" Carlton asked him

"I'm not gonna answer that till I have a lawyer and a dictionary present." Will said

"I'll get Helen." Ashley said as she got uo to answer the door

"Here's my present, Geoffrey. Happy birthday. I wrapped it myself." Hilary said

"Thank you, Ms. Hilary." He said as he opened the box and it was a sweater

"Oh, this is most generous." Geoffrey said

"Look, Geoffrey, I know I boss you around too much. So this gift is my way
of making up for it." Hilary told him

"Hilary, sweetheart, you could also stop bossing him around." Mr. Banks said

"Okay, then I'll keep the sweater." She said taking it back

"He's right this way, Helen." Ashley said

"Yo, happy birthday, G. Get ready to have your candles blown out." Will said

"Geoffrey, I'd like you to meet Samantha's nanny, Helen Carter." Ashley said as a beautiful woman, who was nowhere near Geoffrey's age, walked in

"Helen, I'd like you to meet Geoffrey." Ashley said as they shook hands

"Charmed." Geoffrey told her

"It's nice to meet you, Geoffrey. From the children's description.I thought you'd be much older." She said

"Ditto." Geoffrey said as they sat down

"And this is my mom, my dad Hilary, Will, Zora, and Carlton." Ashley introduced as Carlton pushed me out the way as I landed on the floor

"You can call me Tony." Carlton told her as I got up

"Tony?" I asked as Will grabbed his shirt pulling him back

"What are you trying to pull here, Tony the Tiger?" Will asks

"I didn't start it. Did you see the way she looked at me?" Carlton asked

"Share the fantasy, Carlton." Will told him

"I was just trying to be friendly." Carlton told him

"Hey, look, well, park your welcome wagon elsewhere, homes. That's Geoffrey's date." Will told him

"She'll be dancing with him, but she'll be thinking of me." He said winking as he left

"Uh, so, uh, Helen, I'm Will. Welcome to our humble crib." Will said

"Oh, Ashley, this must be that houseboy
you were telling me about." Helen said

"That's homeboy, Helen." Ashley told her

"Oh. Oh, sorry." She apologized

"I'm so glad you could make it tonight, Helen. This is working out just beautifully! The two of you look so wonderful together." Mrs. Banks said

"How many lives do you have to ruin, Vivian?" Mr. Banks asked as they left

"So, Helen, what part of England
are you from?" I asked

"Allow me, Miss Zora. You can tell a lot
from a person's accent." Geoffrey told me

"You're from London, of course." He said

"Of course." She told him

"I'm guessing West End." He asked

"Why, yes." She said

"Chilton Road?" He asked

"That's right." She nodded

"Upstairs above Shrimpton & Son?" He asked

"Close. One more block up, next to Bottomley's." She told him

"Well, it has been a while." He told her as they laughed

"Oh, isn't this cute? You have so much in common." Ashley said

"You both speak English!" Hilary said after a while Hilary, Geoffrey, Helen, and Will left as I decided to go home


I was in my room when I heard rocks being thrown at my window. I got out my bed and opened my balcony when I saw Carlton holding a picnic basket as I smiled

"You up for a picnic" he asked me

"Sure" I said as he climbed up my balcony

"So what you got" I asked as we sat down on my balcony

"Peanut butter sandwiches" he told me

"Oh fancy" I said as I grabbed on 

"And I made them all by myself" he told me as I bit into it

"This the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich I ever had" I said

"So why are you here" I asked

"Well everybody was gone so I thought we can hang out" he told me

"Why did you throw rocks on my window" I asked seeing the rocks on the balcony

"Seemed a lot more romantic in head" he mumbled 

"Romantic" I asked

"Not like that. Well I mean. Romeo made it look so easy" he told me

"So that means your Romeo" I asked laughing

"Only if you want to be my Juliet" he told me

"But we can not be seen together. For I am a Allen and you are a Banks" I said dramatically as we laughed

We continued our picnic and Carlton gave me his hoodie because I was cold. I checked my watch as I noticed it wad  starting to get late

"It's almost my curfew I should get going" He told me as he began climbing off the balcony

"Romeo!" I called out as he turned around and smiled

"My nyas? My baby hawk?" He asked in character

"What o'clock tomorrow Shall I send to thee?" I asked in character

"By the hour of nine." He told me grabbing my hand

"I will not fail. 'Tis twenty year till then.
I have forgot why I did call thee back." I said dramatically as he climbed back on the balcony

"Let me stand here till thou remember it." He said grabbing my face

"I shall forget, to have thee still stand there, Remembering how I love thy company." I told him putting my hand on his

"And I’ll still stay, to have thee still forget, Forgetting any other home but this." He told me

"Tis almost morning. I would have thee gone. And yet no further than a wanton’s bird, That lets it hop a little from his hand Like a poor prisoner in his twisted gyves, And with a silken thread plucks it back again, So loving-jealous of his liberty." I told him

"I would I were thy bird." He whispered my me moving my hair out my face

"Sweet, so would I. Yet I should kill thee with much cherishing. Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow
That I shall say good night till it be morrow." I said as we stared in each others eyes as I finally broke it

"We're some great actors. We should do this professionally" I joked as he looked at his watch

"Well I should head home" he told me as I nodded

"Yeah" I said

"Yeah" he said as we stared at each other until he climbed down the balcony

"Wait your hoodie" I yelled

"Keep it" he yelled as he went to his house as I smiled and walked back into my room

I just want to thank you guys for liking this story. You guys are voting, commenting, and everything. I didn't think this story would blow up the way it did over these last couple of days so I just want to say thank you

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