Chapter 4

            Fred and I spent most of the night arguing over which direction to travel. The breathing one slept through it all, even when Fred started yelling.

            "No, no, no! We should avoid cities because that's where the zombies are!" His arms waved about, punctuating his words like a high school cheerleader. I gritted my teeth, hugging my biceps to keep from punching him.

            "Have you not listened to a word I've said? I want to find more people like us. Besides what makes you such a damn expert on zombies?" I wondered if I could get a headache, it certainly seemed like the appropriate moment to groan and rub my temples. Fred tilted his head at an odd angle, staring at me with his freaky crystal eyes.

            "Honestly, did you watch any of the movies, I mean ten to one, cities are a death trap."

            I squinted at him. "You really are stupid, aren't you?"

            "I take offense to that remark."

            "Dude, we're already dead. The zombies won't bother us."

            Fred sat back, bracing his hands on his knees. "Really?"

            "Well, I don't think they'll attack us anyway." I clarified with a shrug. "How do you think I picked up the Muppets? They just followed me around and tried to cuddle."

            "You mean they were like that before you did that gross blood thing? I kind of hoped we could make a pack of domesticated zombies." He gestured vaguely towards the woods where Bert and Ernie went bounding into a few hours ago. "We could travel around and take on other zombie packs in a battle royale."

            "Were you this crazy in life?"

            Fred turned pensive. "I hope not."

            I sighed. "Look, Fred, we have no idea what we're doing, no plan, we don't know how this apocalypse kicked off. I'm not saying the city is the greatest idea, but we might find more like us there, or we might find more aliens. They can't all be hanging out in fields, right?"

            He worried his lip, raising his eyes to the lightening sky. Oh, yes, we'd been arguing for a good while. "I can't believe you couldn't get more information off him before Wolf Girl murdered him."

            "Yes, because 'no, stop wait' would totally halt the feral axe wielding child." As if responding to her nickname, the little girl rolled over with a yawn. Holy halitosis, how did she not keel over from her own stench? I can only imagine how off kilter my sense of smell must be, since I don't breathe, but Wolf Girl reeked something fierce. First opportunity I got, I was going to shove her into a lake and hope for the best.

            "Think she'll follow us?" Fred nodded at her as she stretched, taking in her surroundings. She growled at the sight of Fred but seemed calm enough sitting next to me.

            "Maybe?" I kept Wolf Girl out of the corner of my eye as I got to my feet, futilely dusting the dirt off my pants as Fred gathered our things. Somehow, the Muppets sensed we were leaving, crashing out of the woods covered in muck and leaves. They barreled straight for her, stopping to circle around her, like they were sizing each other up in full daylight. Fred watched them with a bewildered expression.

            "They get weirder every time I look at them, Li. I thought aliens were the height of oddities I had to deal with."

            I snorted. "You're a mutated zombie. This should be a drop in the bucket."

            He sighed. "Yeah, you're right. So, if we are heading to the city, which is still a terrible idea, which direction are we going?"

            I peered into the distance, seeing the familiar stretch of black tar. "We follow the highway; signs will lead us where we want to go."

            "Huh, that's pretty brilliant."

            "I have my moments." We started for the highway, the bizarro trio bringing up the rear. Wolf girl followed us without coaxing whatsoever. I'm not sure where the turning point was, either the doll or the rabbit or being a pillow for her greasy head, but she bounced along behind me, carrying her dirty creepy doll. The Muppets were taken with her, trying to keep pace with her, but Wolf Girl stayed on my heels like a smelly shadow. Shooing her away didn't work, except make her copy me in an incoherent gibbering language.  

            We reached the highway a good couple hours later, needing to stop to untangle the wonder twins from various roots and bushes. I wouldn't have noticed half the time without Wolf Girl, who started dancing around tugging on my sleeves. You would think she'd be terrified of two oozy corpses, but I guess living with the decomposing bodies of her parents across the hall might have something to do with her comfort level. I didn't know what to make of Wolf Girl. Here I was trying to put together the puzzle of what happened to my home, my world, coping with my zombification, aliens, and now the company of a feral child. Fred's statement about the Muppets accepting her into the pack had more weight than I gave him credit for. She was more animal than human, it wasn't just the filth covering her, but her actions and reactions.

            She jumped at noises in the bushes, dropping into a crouch as if she expected to be attacked. At one point another animal of some sort darted in front of us, Wolf Girl and the Muppets taking off in enthusiastic pursuit. Fred and I had to wait for them. I almost left them, but the Muppets were my boys and I was starting to think of Wolf Girl as one of them. I think they would be sad if we abandoned her. It was while they were frolicking in the woods Fred brought up an issue I missed.

            "How are we going to protect Wolf Girl?" His hand was on the handle of the axe sticking out at his waist. We had finagled a holster for it to fit across his back, behind his bag, because you could never have too many weapons. Plus his bat was still bent out shape. He insisted on bringing it, claiming the axe was for Wolf Girl.

            I frowned at him. "All evidence suggests she's pretty capable of protecting herself, or did you forget when she kicked me across the field?"

            His expression was serious when he looked at me, sunlight made his irises look like blue diamonds around a black hole. The effect was unsettling and beautiful at the same time. "We haven't run into many zombies out here, but I have this gut feeling the cities will be crawling with them. They might leave us alone but you really think a live human won't catch their interest?"

            I sat on a fallen tree, tapping my chin. "I don't know. The few zombies I ran across before I met you were really far gone. When I met the Muppets they could barely walk to me they were so weak. Even if the city is still crawling with hordes of the undead, I don't think they'll be a threat."

            Fred shifted uneasily; clearly unhappy I shot down another attempt to avoid the city. "I hope you're right."

            What the hell was his problem? I didn't press him on it as the boys and Wolf Girl came crashing out of the woods, her face lit with savage triumph. A dead squirrel was clutched in her fist, its neck broken. Bert and Ernie clambered around her, brushing her with their shoulders, their jaws clacking. Chalk it up to the medley of weird shit I'd seen the past few days, but the idea Wolf Girl was the one to snap the critter's neck didn't faze me at all.

            When we hit the highway, the neglected tarmac stretched farther than we could see in either direction, cracked with weeds, dotted with abandoned cars. Fred had been giving me the silent treatment until we reached the first vehicle, a truck, it's door wide open, the front seat covered with rot and mold from being exposed so many years. Fred halted, wiping dirt from the dashboard to read the gauges.

            "I wonder if it works," he said. I came up beside him, noticing there were keys still in the ignition. The idea sparked my interest. The prospect of walking until we hit a city was not fun. I mean, sure Fred and I didn't eat or sleep, but it would be really boring if our only entertainment was the antics of our feral friends and whatever porn Fred shoved into his back pack. The rotting interior of the truck was nasty, but we could always throw something over it and hope the Muppets and Wolf Girl were willing to ride in the truck bed.

            My hopes were dashed when Fred reached over and turned the key. Absolutely nothing happened. "Battery's probably dead," Fred murmured, his hand reached down to pull a lever that made the hood pop with a startling screech. He walked around, lifting it with another screech echoing across the empty highway. Wolf Girl and the Muppets peeked up from the embankment, their heads popping up in a row under the guardrail. The sight made me giggle.

            Fred shook his head at me, perusing the engine. He made a face. "Yeah this one's a dud. The battery looks completely corroded."

            I drummed the side, refusing to be discouraged. "Okay, so this one's a dud, but it is not the only car on the road. I bet one of these rust buckets is still road worthy. I'd rather drive than walk to a city."

            He nodded, scanning the various vehicles on the horizon. "One of them has got to work right?"

            Idiot had to say it out loud. It's like taunting the Gods, or Murphy's Law, or some bullshit like that. NEVER say it out loud. Of course none of them worked. Every one of them was in the same rotted state as the truck or worse. We kept walking, but I was in a foul mood, kicking stones out of my way to blow off steam. Fred and I kept up a brutal pace, the Muppets lagging further and further behind. Wolf Girl stayed on my ass for a while, but gradually slowed, falling back with Bert and Ernie. I didn't think about it, just kept plowing forward until Fred tapped my shoulder.

            "We should stop for a rest." He jerked his head behind him. I looked over to see Wolf Girl curled up on the road far behind us, the Muppets circling her. Hurrying over to her, I crouched next to her to see if she was hurt. It was hard to tell, between the dried blood from her raw meals and the general grime I didn't see anything new, but Wolf Girl was in obvious distress. I turned to Fred, who'd followed me.

            "What's wrong with her?"

            "We've been going non-stop for hours in the sun, she might be dehydrated." He brought his back pack around, rummaging inside until he produced a bottle of water. He grinned at my expression. "I wasn't sure if we'd eventually need to drink or eat so I came prepared."

            "Aren't you the boy scout." I took the water from him, uncapping it and bringing it to Wolf Girl's lips. She winced, turning her head away. "It's okay; it'll help you feel better." I coaxed, trying for a soothing tone. Wolf girl peered up at me, giving me the first good look at her eyes, a light brown, filled with trust. It made me feel odd, sending a tingle across the back of my neck. Unsettled, I brought the water to her lips again. To my relief, she took a drink. I don't think I did empathy well, if she had refused again I was ready to force it down her throat. She took another sip when I offered, finally grabbing the bottle herself to drink.

            "Well, this is touching and all, but I think it's time to get off the highway for the night." Fred said before stepping in and scooping Wolf Girl up in his arms. When she didn't fight him, I realized how ill she must be. I felt like an idiot. Was it really helping Wolf Girl to tag along with a bunch of undead, we clearly weren't in tune to her needs. The Muppets trailed after them, leaving me to bring up the rear.

            "I bet that squirrel isn't sitting too good right now, ya little mongrel." Fred's overly cheerful voice carried over the open air. "Maybe the lot of you will let me cook the meat tonight." He lead the way to the tree line, Wolf Girl cradled against his chest.

            "Hooo! Li you got to see this!"