I've seen a lot of crazy things in my life, but this takes the cake.

Okay, so maybe that was a lie. I actually haven't seen that many crazy things, like, ever. Probably because I never leave my house other than to go on the occasional walk for fresh air. I mean, what's even outside my house other than the grocery store or the burger place down the street?

Apparently UFOs.

I rub my eyes and look behind myself to see if maybe anyone else was seeing this monstrosity. Nope, it's just me. The one time I go outside, I'm gonna die to whatever is inside that thing. Great. Let this be a lesson to never go outside, is what I'd tell my friends if I had any.

I had decided to go a bit further on my walk today. There's a trail near my apartment that winds through the woods, past a small pond, and today I went far enough to discover it leads to a little clearing in the forest. A clearing just big enough for a UFO.

And the UFO door is starting to open.

Oh, crap. I'm gonna die. I'm literally witnessing the start of an alien invasion. I turn around and make a beeline for the largest tree I can find in approximately four seconds and try to catch my breath as quietly as possible behind the trunk. I don't believe in God, but I also hadn't believed in aliens until now, so no harm in praying for my life, right?

Dear God. Please don't let me die, I close my eyes and silently plead to whatever is there. I have so much to live for, like, uh... I need to see how my favorite anime ends and I really want to write a book someday. Plus, this is a really sad way to go. Please don't kill me now...

I open my eyes after saying my prayer, and I guess God didn't care because I'm staring directly into the bright green eyes of an alien.

I want to scream and run, but for whatever reason my fight or flight instinct can't make up it's mind between the two and I just remain frozen on the spot. Am I even breathing? Maybe I'll pass out before the aliens kill me and it'll be painless at least.

The alien leans in closer, seemingly inspecting me. Maybe they want to evaluate how much of a threat I am to them or something. Then, surprisingly, they step back and extend a green hand.

"Hello, human! I am Zog. Wow, Earth is beautiful!"

Zog is grinning and keeps their hand extended for long enough that I snap out of it and hesitantly accept their handshake, which they immediately shake for an awkwardly long time. In fact, now that I get a better look at them, everything about them seems kind of awkward. They're dressed in a oversized tie-dye t-shirt that's inside out and backwards, plus a longer skirt that meets their knee length striped socks paired with sandals. It's like they were dressed by a two year old who also threw up the rainbow all over their clothes.

I finally pull back my hand myself once it looks like they're not going to stop any time soon. "I'm Mae," I introduce myself. My heartrate is starting to slow down. "Um, what's going on?"

"Right, you must be confused!" Zog says, their voice upbeat. "Give me a second."

They fish around in their pockets for who knows what and pull out a small notepad, clearing their throat. "Ahem. Behold my esteemed Earthlings," they read off the first page in a grand voice. "I am Zog, and I am here attending Earth to learn and fulfil my dreams of becoming an intergalactic veterinarian! Fear not, I come in peace with only myself and my beloved companion, Glorp. I hope we will all become good friends."

And with that, Zog puts the notepad back into their pocket and beams proudly. "I had planned for my speech to be to a larger audience, but I hope you liked it."

My head is racing. "You... want to stay here? And you wrote a speech?"

They nod excitedly.

"Are you crazy?"

"I have grand ideas, I know, but I've been studying animals for awhile and Earth looked like so much fun!" Zog clasps their hands together. "I really think I have the skills to become a vet here. I've been studying everything about Earth to prepare!"

"If you really studied Earth," I push up my glasses and frown, "you'd know that aliens aren't exactly... common around here. People are going to freak out if they know that they're real and can just come to Earth whenever."

For the first time since meeting them, I see Zog's cheery exterior falter for just a moment. "Oh."

We stare at each other in silence. I feel bad for some reason, like I just kicked a puppy off a cliff. I lean back against the tree and watch them look at the ground, their eyebrows knitted together in thought. If they're smart, they'll take their UFO and go home.

"It's not like I can just take my ship and go home," they say. "I uh... kinda lied about where I was going so I could get past the Bliponian space travel port. We're strictly forbidden from coming to Earth, and if I went back now I'd definitely be thrown in the fiery orbit rings.

I don't know what the fiery orbit rings are, but they don't sound good, and Zog seems too nice to be thrown in them. "Um... do you have a disguise of sorts to fit in? I ask. "I mean, you'd look human enough if it weren't for the green skin."

They look up at me, hopeful. "I do not, but I could cover myself in cosmetic paste!" Zog grabs my hand and pulls me off the tree. "I have some in my ship. It's a bit cramped with all my things I packed, though. Come on, help me look for it!"

I can't even protest as they pull me towards their small UFO and open another door with a button. "It should be in-"

Suddenly, a loud clatter comes from within the ship and a few boxes tumble out the opened door along with a small green ball of fuzz. I'm about to ask what it is when it starts booking it towards me. Once again, I want to run but I'm paralyzed in fear and now there's a green fuzzy creature on my foot. Wait... is it a cat?

"Glorp! Get down!" Zog rushes over and scoops up the kitty into their arms. "Sorry about Glorp. They're really friendly and too smart for a cat, but they won't hurt you."

"It's okay," I nervously laugh. "But you seriously brought your cat with you?" I reach out to pet Glorp and they happily nuzzle into my touch.

"Of course!" Zog smiles and hands Glorp to me. "They're my companion. I couldn't leave them behind."

Now that their arms are free, Zog kneels down and starts rummaging through a box that tumbled out labeled "Zog's stuff". It's not too big, but they seem to have squeezed a lot into one box. They stick out their tongue as they feel around the items, then pull out a jar of white paste.

"This should work!" They twist open the lid and start lathering it on their face. It makes them appear super pale, but it's better than green at least. Oh, well.

I keep petting the now purring Glorp as I wait for Zog to finish covering their exposed skin. Once they're done, you can't even tell they had green skin in the first place. They hop up and give me a thumbs up. "How do I look?"

I smile and thumbs up back at them. "Just like a human!"

"Perfect." they close up the jar and toss it back into the box where it lands with a clang. "Now that that's settled, I should be able to explore a bit!"

I have a bad feeling about this, but I don't want to ruin the experience for them. I've got to somehow make sure they stay safe and don't cause a global incident. "Hey Zog, are you just going to leave your ship out in the open like this?" I gesture to the UFO. "If it's found, I can't guarantee everything will go smoothly."

"Hmm, you're right," Zog comes over and stands next to me, looking over their ship in thought. "I was planning on living in it until I could acquire some Earth currency and stay elsewhere, but I suppose that could cause some issues."

After a few minutes, they sigh and take Glorp out of my arms, going back to the ship. "Can you make sure I get the important stuff out?" They pet Glorp and put them down inside the UFO. Glorp seems to understand and goes inside to supposedly search for any needed belongings. "And can you help me with these boxes?" Zog turns to me, pointing at the boxes behind them with their thumb.

I help them gather up the few boxes that tumbled out and pick up the items that had fallen. Once all is said and done, there were three boxes labeled 'Zog's stuff', 'Glorp's Stuff,' and 'Our stuff'. Zog reaches out for a high five which I return.

"Epic!" they grin and look back into their ship. "Find anything, Glorp?"

I hear a meow and Glorp emerges with a large envelope in their mouth, dropping it at Zog's feet. "Good kitty!" Zog picks them up and kisses them all over their little kitty face. "Blip, you're so cute."

The scene is very wholesome, and once Zog is done kiss attacking their cat they step back and push a button on the side of the UFO. I'm very glad we're alone in this clearing because loud screeching and metallic warbles fill the air as the ship... shrinks? How that's possible, I don't know, but when it's over it's the size of a toy car and Zog puts it in their pocket.

"That settles that!" They say happily. "I really hope the weather on Earth is friendlier than back home, because we're sleeping outside!"

Glorp meows in their arms and Zog looks around the area. "Maybe this spot will do, what do you think, Glorp?"

Wait... outside?

Before my mouth catches up with my brain, I blurt out, "Why don't you stay with me?"

Zog stops in their tracks and turns slowly to face me. At first I think they're upset, but they're actually grinning through teary eyes. "You'd let me stay with you? Really?"

"For a little bit, at least," I say quickly. "Just until you're able to find your own place. And I could teach you more about human customs! Because based on your outfit," I look them up and down, "you need a bit of help."

They're not even offended as they spin around with Glorp in their arms and hug them tightly. "You hear that Glorp? We have a home!" They're almost literally jumping for joy and they put Glorp down and rush over to hug me as well.

"Thank you, Mae," they say softly and squeeze me tight. "Best human ever."

"You've only met one human," I laugh and hug them back.

"And I'm glad it's you."

My face turns red from embarrassment, but they don't seem to notice as we break apart and start gathering up their few belongings. Luckily Glorp has a little carrier that we cover with a blanket so nobody questions why we have a green cat on our walk back home. With our arms full, we make the trek back through the forest, past the pond, down a couple blocks and into the parking lot of my apartment. Zog is in awe of everything we see, and they're quite vocal about it as well. I have to remind them that they can't act surprised about basic Earthly things if we run into someone else.

Once we make it up the stairs to my unit, I put the boxes I'm carrying down and fumble for my keys. It takes me a few seconds to unlock, and I slowly push open the door.

"Welcome home, Zog."