~

Cancer: I sleep with a knife under my pillow
Scorpio: pathetic, I sleep with a gun
Aries: amateurs.
Scorpio: why? What do you sleep with?
Aires: Sagittarius.

~

Virgo: did it hurt?
Libra: when I fell from heaven?
Virgo: no, when you fell down the stairs. How are you fucking alive

~

Leo: we gotta get through the locked door quick. Aquarius, pass me your credit card
Aquarius: sure *passes credit card*
Leo: *puts it in pocket* cool, Gemini kick down the door.

~

Capricorn: whenever I feel good, some handsome dude walks by me.
Gemini: stop walking past mirrors

~

Taurus: you wanna see a butterfly?
Sagittarius: er, ok
Pisces: NO
Taurus: *yeets stick of butter across room*

~

Leo: small creatures are usually more angry because they have less space to contain their stress.
Virgo: gimme an example.
Leo: wasp.
Scorpio: spider.
Sagittarius: Aries.

~

Aquarius: what are you? Five?
Capricorn: I'm five feet taller than you.
Aquarius: ...
Capricorn: pleasedontkillme-

~

Scorpio: hey I was able to get 20 gallons of blood for your Halloween party.
Taurus: oh cool! Where'd you get gallons of fake blood?
Scorpio: oh, YOU WANTED FAKE? Whoops, Libra might be dead-
Taurus: I'm sorry what-

Heyyy that's it uwu. Hope you enjoyed~