Aries: "I crashed my motorbike."

Taurus: "This idiot forgot to stop for me when I was crossing the road."

Gemini: "I'm here with my friend."

Cancer: "I was cooking soup for my boyfriend/girlfriend, and I spilled it all over me. Now I got third degree burns."

Leo: "Someone called me ugly, so I tried to punch them, but I missed and hit the brick wall."

Virgo: "Um, I work here?"

Libra: "I had a panic attack."

Scorpio: "Someone pushed me down the stairs."

Sagittarius: "This old lady was on her motor scooter, and she was going slowly, so I told her to hurry up, the she ran over my toe."

Capricorn: "I was working really late 5 nights in a row, and got sleep deprivation, then I passed out."

Aquarius: "I was walking my mermaid, then she pushed me down the well and I found myself in Narnia."

Pisces: "I was concentrating and smashed into the wall, then got a concussion."