♈Aries: Wow, that's a lovely shade of ultra bitch you're wearing today.

♉Taurus: If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I would've farted.

♊Gemini: You shouldn't play hide and seek, cause no one will look for you.

♋Cancer: I'd slap you, but shit stains.

♌Leo: Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you.

♍Virgo: I can eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that.

♎Libra: I'm jealous of all the people that haven't meet you.

♏Scorpio: I don't hate you, but if you were on fire and I had a glass of water, I'd drink it.

♐Sagittarius: Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?

♑Capricorn: You bring everyone a big amount of joy when you leave the room.

♒Aquarius: I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.

♓Pisces: Well I could agree with you but then we'd both be wrong.