" I just watched a really sad movie. ": Cancer, Leo, Libra

" Someone ate MY ice cream! ": Pisces, Taurus, Aries

^ This sounds like something I would definitely say XD

" I just cut an onion. ": Aquarius, Sagittarius, Virgo

" I'm not crying I'm laughing. ": Gemini, Scorpio, Capricorn