Aries - I declare a war on... *flips coin* AUSTRIA

Taurus - I'm going to hold a grand feast again for the twentieth time this month! We'll have chips, chocolate fountain, caviar, sushi, tea, candy... *servants die from boredom*

Gemini - *Jumps onto balcony window in all their glory* AND YOU GET A MATH TEXTBOOK! AND YOU GET A MATH VOLUME ||| TEXTBOOK! EVERYBODY GETS A MATH TEXTBOOK!

Cancer - *Runs to adoption center* I WANNA ADOPT THEM ALL! GIMME THEM ALL OR YOU'RE SENTENCED TO A LIFE TIME IN JAIL! *when death comes around* Hmmm. Who will be my heir.... *flips coin* Julie!

Leo - I DEMAND ALL INSTAGRAM HACKERS TO BE GONE!

Virgo - *Planning a war with Scorpio*

Libra - *Is too busy to realize that they are the king/queen because they are playing video games*

Scorpio - *Is ready to fite Virgo* 

Sagittarius - *Doesn't know what to get on the menu* Uhhh, I'll try the... the... guacamole? *tries it* EWWWWWWWWW

Capricorn - I WANT EVERYTHING IN ORDER

Aquarius -  *Forgets everything*

Pisces - *cries* So many responsibilities