Incredibly dumb title aside, here the jist:  This is your typical zodiac story except without the ships.  All 12 characters are asexual and aromantic (like me so this should be easier to write tbh).  Also, the genders were randomly determined.

So, join us for shenanigans such as Scorpio and Leo deciding to film a disaster movie about how Pisces came to be, Capricorn running black market materials to Virgo and Aquarius in their ongoing prank war, and Gemini rope-swinging through Cancer's window at three in the morning.  I present... LE ZODIACS!

Name: Aries

Gender: Female

Best friends: Cancer, Virgo, Sagittarius

3 Fun Facts:

     -4th best prankster

     -Steals things occasionally

     -Thinks "dude" is a punctuation mark

Quote: "I was not sneaking through the house and I didn't steal your car keys." (Pause) "Okay fine, here they are."

Name: Taurus

Gender: Male

Best friends: Cancer, Capricorn, Pisces

3 Fun Facts:

     -Band kid, plays the drums

     -Wears sunglasses because his eyes are super sensitive to light

     -Has no idea what is going on

Quote: "Okay yeah, I did see him running down the alleyway dressed in all black, help him distract the officer chasing him, and lend him my passport and driver's lisence. But I didn't know he was a fugitive!"

Name: Gemini

Gender: Female

Best friends: Scorpio, Aquarius, Pisces

3 Fun Facts:

     -Constantly going on "adventures"

     -Swears in ice cream flavors

     -Wants to be an explorer when she grows up, carries binoculars everywhere

Quote: "Guys! I found atlantis in the basement!"

Name: Cancer

Gender: Male

Best friends: Aries, Taurus, Libra

3 Fun Facts:

     -The leader of the group and only responsible one

     -Extroverted, likes to go outside and do things

     -Way too sarcastic about everything

Quote: "This. This is what my life has become."

Name: Leo

Gender: Male

Best friends: Libra, Scorpio, Capricorn

3 Fun Facts:

     -An amateur writer and fantasy nerd

     -Watches movies a lot and writes screenplays

     -Always wearing PJs

Quote: "Sometimes I feel like I have no control over my life and I need to make dramatic decisions to prove that I'm the one in charge. Long story short, I bought a pet turtle. His name is Timothy. He lives with us now."

Name: Virgo

Gender: Female

Best friends: Aries, Sagittarius, Capricorn

3 Fun Facts:

     -2nd best prankster, in a prank war with Aquarius

     -Likes doing crazy stunts like skateboarding off the roof

     -Owns a fully functional canon

Quote: "Violence is not the way to solve our problems. Anyone who tries to start another fight I will PERSONALLY beat the crap out of."

Name: Libra

Gender: Non-bianary

Best friends: Cancer, Leo, Scorpio

3 Fun Facts:

     -The group therapist, knows everything about everyone

     -Bakes cookies and is really good at it

     -Could take anyone in a fight but never does

Quote: "I'm the kind of person who will fearlessly walk into a dark room... and trip onto my face over the desk chair sitting there for some reason. I've already talked to you guys about putting your things away."

Name: Scorpio

Gender: Female

Best friends: Gemini, Leo, Libra

3 Fun Facts:

     -Wants to be a filmmaker, carries a camera everywhere and films movies

     -Low key obsessed with food

     -100% believes in ghosts

Quote: "Why should I have assumed it was your cupcake? Isn't everything in the fridge mine?"

Name: Sagittarius

Gender: Male

Best friends: Aries, Virgo, Aquarius

3 Fun Facts:

     -Best prankster

     -Leading "The Resistance" against Cancer's leadership

     -Gets blamed for all the pranks, even the ones he didn't do

Quote: "People always assume I have some kind of plan. I literally have no idea what I'm doing."

Name: Capricorn

Gender: Female

Best friends: Taurus, Leo, Virgo

3 Fun Facts:

     -The smartest one

     -People come to her for help with things. Homework, prank wars, smuggling an electric guitar into the cafetiria, etc.

     -Everyone is low-key scared of her

Quote: "Hello, I am the zodiac sign's PR agent. By that I mean I am the only one they trust not to punch, rob, explode, or mercilessly pun you. To be fair, it's possible I'll try and harvest your DNA for research purposes, but we're considering than an acceptable risk."

Name: Aquarius

Gender: Male

Best friends: Gemini, Sagittarius, Pisces

3 Fun Facts:

     -3rd best prankster, in a prank war with Virgo

     -Makes a lot of puns, but not as much as Pisces

     -Regularly sleeps in the treehouse

Quote: "I know what I'm doing, stop talking to me about 'gravity'."

Name: Pisces

Gender: Male

Best friends: Taurus, Gemini, Aquarius

3 Fun Facts:

     -Makes way too many puns and Capricorn is this close to strangling him

     -Theatre kid and can sing really well

     -Wants to be a secret agent and always rolls around corners. He's gotten very good at this

Quote: "One Coca Cola, shaken, not stirred." *Coca Cola explodes in his face*

First chapter is... objectively coming, but I have no idea where to start.