In Sagittarius's defense, he didn't know it was Leo's cream pie. He just assumed that it was a cream pie, sitting in the open on a shelf, for everyone to see and for anyone to use. For any purpose, too. Pie's aren't only for eating, and no one knew this better than Sagittarius.

In Leo's defense, he was really hungry. Scorpio had promised she was going to buy a pie last night, and she hadn't gotten around to it yet.

In Scorpio's defense she'd had a really long night, which started with a hell of a lot of school work to do for the next day, continued with Virgo rope swinging through her window at three in the morning, and ended with her not getting a wink of sleep. It was fair to say that Scorpio had quite forgotten about the pie in the morning.

In Virgo's defense... well to be honest, Virgo really had no excuse for her actions.

*

"I'm really sorry," apologized Sagittarius. "I had no idea it was yours."

"Sorry doesn't get me another cream pie, Sag," argued Leo.

"Here, I'll buy you another one," offered Sagittarius, pulling a twenty out of his pocket.

Leo hesitated, he was still mad at Sag, but he really wanted another cream pie. "Well... alright."

"So all is forgiven?" brighted Sagittarius.

"All is not forgiven!" yelled Cancer, toweling some of the cream pie out of his hair. "I'm the one who got the bloody pie all over my face! Why the hell are you apologizing to Leo?!"

Sag just shrugged. "Well you kind of had it coming."

"I mean... you kind of did," shrugged Leo.

Sag immediately whirled back on Leo, grinning. "Aha! So you do approve of the use of the cream pie."

"I grant that there could have been worse ways to use it," acknowledged Leo. "But you should have asked my permission first. You can't just take people's things."

Cancer crossed his arms. "How did I have it coming, then? What did I theoretically do to deserve this?"

Sagittarius pointed at him. "I am glad you asked." He pulled a number of index cards out of his pocket, and cleared his throat. "Exhibit A: Last night, when Aries and I wanted to stay up all night blasting Uptown Funk and jumping on the bed, you said no—"

"It was one in the morning," argued Cancer.

"Yeah I'm with Cancer on this one," nodded Leo. "That song is terrible."

"That's fine, I have more. Exhibit B: Cancer prevented me from replacing Libra's shampoo with food coloring—"

"This isn't what I was refering to when I said Cancer had it coming," frowned Leo. "I was talking about how Cancer shoved me out of the way coming down the stairs this morning. That was really rude and you kind of hurt my feelings."

"I hadn't had my coffee yet!"

"Exhibit C: Cancer refused to participate in national talk like a duck week—"

"Okay I've heard enough," said Cancer. "I feel completely justified in all of my actions. Except shoving Leo, I'm sorry, that was rude, and I thought you were Taurus. I'll pitch in to Sag's buying you another cream pie. Are we square?"

"Square," grinned Leo, shaking Cancer's hand vigerously. He grabbed both Cancer and Sag's wrists and pulled them out of the kitchen, presumably to drive to the pie store.

*

Meanwhile, Virgo was busy adjusting her canon on the roof. It had been difficult getting it up there. Thank god for hijacked amazon drones.

"Hiya Virgo!" waved Aries, who happened to be walking around on the roof. "Whatcha doing?"

"Shh!" hissed Virgo. "Not so loud! I'm trying to hit Aquarius with a coke-and-mentos bomb!"

"Ooh sounds interesting dude," said Aries, squating down. "How does it work?"

Virgo pointed. "See Aquarius sitting on the tire swing over there eating a box of mentos? I had Pisces plant those on him. This canon has been modified to shoot coca cola with amazing precision. Once I hit his box of mentos with a carefully aimed and fired jet of coca cola it will explode in his face, and I will laugh."

Aries frowned. "I'm not sure canons are quite that precise."

"This one is. Watch." Virgo adjusted the canon's trajectory while referencing her calculations. She took a bucket of coca cola and poured a precise amount into the firing chamber. She waited carefully until there wasn't any wind, and then lit the fuse on fire. "The fuse is just for aesthetic," she said, pressing a button on the canon. A jet of coca cola shot out of the canon, arced gracefully throught the air, and splattered the ground next to Aquarius. He glanced at it, and then looked up suspiciously.

"Oh screw it," grumbled Virgo, jumping up from behind her railing hiding place and chucking the whole bucket of coca cola directly at Aquarius. Aquarius yelped and jumped out of the way, unfortionately catching a bunch of coca cola in his mentos box, which proceeded to explode in his face.

"Dude, if you could do that the whole time, why bother with the canon?" asked Aries.

"SCREW YOU VIRGO!"

"There was no guarantee I'd hit.  The canon would have worked too if—GO DIE IN A HOLE, AQUARIUS!—there hadn't been wind around his tire swing," shrugged Virgo.

"YOU RUINED MY GODDAM MENTOS!"

"Still," frowned Aries. "You'd think a super soaker would have done the job even better than a canon."

"I guess that's a good point," reflected Virgo. "I should run these by you before I—NO ONE CARES ABOUR YOUR PROBLEMS, MORON!—let Capricorn sell me stuff."

"Hah, yeah, dude," laughed Aries. "Come on, lets go start making a super soaker that shoots coke. We can get Pisces to plant another box of mentos on him probably."

"I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARDS TO EATING THOSE!"

"Good call," nodded Virgo, helping up Aries who'd sat down because she was lazy. "I think we—NOT LISTENING!—have one in the garage or something." They walked back inside the house.

*

There it was. The Zardeskan idol of wealth. After all this time.

The inscription outside the cave had been clear enough. Beware treasure-seeker! For though the Idol of Wealth lies hidden here, in the Incredibly Dangerous And Fatal Cave Of Death And No Return, only death awaits thee! Turn back if your value your life, (and even if you don't)!

Clearly Gemini didn't value her life. It had been no picnic getting here, but here she was, deep in the cave, directly facing the idol of wealth, with only a single, insanely booby-trapped room before her.

Gemini picked up a handful of pebbles and tossed them across the room, but nothing moved. She poked the floor and the walls but they all seemed solid. Apparently satisfied, she began to creep across the room, keeping as low to the floor as possible, and watching very carefully where she was stepping. It was eerily silent. But she arrived without dying, and there on the other side of the room sat the idol, a large radiant golden ice-cream-shapped statuette. After inspecting floor for a moment, Gemini carefully lifted the idol off of its pedestal. The room did not start shaking.

"Hah!" cheered Gemini, stuffing the ice cream idol in her backpack. To test her hypothesis, she picked up a stick and tossed it across the room. Sure enough, it caught on a nearly invisible tripwire suspended four feet above the ground, as she'd suspected. However, instead of dropping a block from the ceiling or shooting darts from the walls as she'd assumed, the doors on the other side of the room, her exit began to slowly grind shut.

"Sherbert!" swore Gemini, loudly, and bolted as fast as she could down the steps and to the doors.

*

"You know," said Scorpio, focusing the camera on the cupcakes Libra was pulling out of the oven, "For someone who wants to be internet famous, you really don't act enough like Gordon Ramsey."

Libra glanced up. "When did I say I wanted to be internet famous? We're just doing these videos to share my cupcake recipe with people, right?"

"Yeah, but I mean, you always want to have higher ambitions..." shrugged Scorpio.

"Hi!" waved Leo, walking into the room carrying a stackful of pies. "We've been to the bakery!"

Libra's jaw hit the floor. "Why did you buy so many pies?!?"

Cancer dropped his stack on the table and scratched his head nervously. "Well, Sag found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket and we kind of got carried away..."

"Nice!" grinned Scorpio. "Dibs on this stack!" She sat down at the kitchen table and began to cut in to one of the blueberry pies.

"I guess we won't be needing these," Libra sighed dramatically, as they began putting the cupcakes in the fridge.

"Actually I'm more of a cupcake person," interjected Sagittarius hopefully.

"Well let's have some then," grinned Libra, pulling out two plates for them and Sagittarius. They glanced at the table full of pies, increasing in size as Leo carried another stack into the room. "Why did you.... just... why...?"

Sag shrugged. "Scorpio forgot to buy Leo that pie she promised."

Scorpio's eyes flew open. "Oh shoot! I'm really sorry Leo!" She pulled a pie out of her stack and gave it to Leo. "Here."

"Aw, thanks!" smiled Leo, and started eating.

"Morning midgets," yawned Taurus, walking into the room.

"Taurus," said Cancer.

"Yeah?"

"You're shorter than all of us, and it's two in the afternoon."

"I don't tell you how to live your life."

"Yes you do," said Scorpio.

"Well, only a little," shrugged Taurus, absentmindedly grabbing a few pies. "I gotta go to band practice. See you guys later!" He walked out of the room, presumably heading to the basement.

*

The basement was indeed where Taurus was headed, except when he got there band practice had already started. Sort of. Capricorn had abandonned her electric guitar in favor of eating a chocolate cigar and reading a book on astrophysics, and Pisces was singing frozen kareoke at the top of his lungs.

"SNOW GLOWS WHITE ON THE—"

"I'm here!" said Taurus running down the stairs, and hopping behind the drum set.

Capricorn glanced at her watch. "You are three hours and six minutes late."

"I slept past my alarm," apologized Taurus.

"Three. Hours. And. Six. Minutes."

"Come on Cappy, let it go," grinned Pisces.

"Pisces, if you do not stop making frozen puns, so help me god—" threatened Capricorn.

"Cappy!" yelled a voice, and Aquarius ran down the stairs. "We need to have a conversation!"

"What is it?" frowned Capricorn.

Aquarius glanced suspiciously at Pisces. "I'd rather not say in front of... him."

"Fine, we'll go in here," sighed Capricorn, walking out of the band room into the video game room. Aquarius followed. "What's so important?"

"Did Virgo pay you to modify her canon?" demanded Aquarius.

"Yeah. Why?"

"We had an exclusivity deal!" protested Aquarius. "I've been paying you not to sell her prank stuff!"

"Yeah? And she offered me more," said Capricorn, taking a bite out of her chocolate cigar. "I'm not sure you understand the concept of 'highest-bidder'."

"Screw it," grumbled Aquarius. "Exclusivity deal is off, and I'm broke anyways." He started heading for the door.

"Then how are you going to get Virgo back?" smirked Capricorn.

Aquarius stopped. "Why, did you have something in mind?"

Capricorn shrugged. "Well, Aries and I were talking while waiting for Taurus, and I have a little inside information on what her next prank is going to be."

"Okay, what do you want," sighed Aquarius.

"Ten recees cups."

"Ugh, you drive a hard bargain," said Aquarius, fishing into his pocket. "Here."

"Here's the prank she's doing," said Capricorn, and explained it to him. "Got it?"

"Yeah," he nodded, walking out back into the band room. "I already know what to do. Thanks a ton, Cappy."

"Hey Aqua want some mentos?" waved Pisces, who was having a swordfight with Taurus using the drumsticks.

"Heck yes I do!" grinned Aquarius, catching the box. "Dude I owe you one!" He ran up the stairs.

"Alright," said Capricorn, picking up her electric guitar. "Let's take this from where we left off. We're on bar fifteen of stairway to heavan I believe."

"I thought we were doing 'bad to the bone'?" frowned Taurus.

"Are you kidding?" grinned Pisces. "We've only got a skeleton crew."

Ba-dum-tis Taurus played on the drums while Capricorn facepalmed.

*

"Aries!" yelled Cancer.

Aries looked up from her book. "What is it dude?"

"Did you steal my car keys?" he asked.

"No," she snorted. "Why would you think that?"

Cancer slapped his forehead in mock-realization. "Oh my god you're right, why would I ever think it was you?" Aries snorted, but didn't answer. "Come on, I need them Aries."

"Hm," said Aries, rubbing her chin. "I myself don't remember taking them at all, but I might have seen some dubious stranger put them in my room under the rug."

"Oh good," said Cancer, getting up. "If you find out who it was, let me know, okay?"

"Sure thing dude."

"Did you lose your keys again?" teased Libra as they walked into the living room and sat down.

"Yeah," said Cancer. "I'm always so absentminded with my belongings whenever I'm around Aries."

Aries shook her head. "Ya gotta do soemthing about that."

"Oh believe me I intend to." Cancer climbed the stairs towards Aries's room.

"That's mildly ominous," frowned Libra.

"He's bluffing," shrugged Aries, continuing to read.

"Hey guys," nodded Taurus, walking in. "Band practice ended when Pisces electrocuted himself with the mic."

"Is he alright?" asked Libra, sitting up in alarm.

"Oh he's fine, he's going around shocking people... but the mic short circuited so we had to call it a day. I'm gonna go practice for marching band, see you guys!" he waved, leaving the room. Then returned and walked back through the room because he'd used the wrong door by mistake.

For a moment all was silent as Libra pulled out their book as well, then let out a yelp of surprise as Pisces snuck up behind them and poked them with a ZZAP! "Gotcha!"

"Keep doing that and I won't give you any cupcakes," threatened Libra as Aries threw her book at Pisces.

*

"...so then I escaped," concluded Gemini, taking a sip of hot coco. "Why are there so many pies here? Not that I'm complaining."

"Wait, how did you escape?" asked Scorpio, raising an eyebrow, and also taking a sip of her hot coco. "If the pressure tiles had triggered the flooding, then based on the way you described the architecture you'd have had to swim through over a hundred yards of submerged passage."

"Oh, right," remembered Gemini. "Well, I probably should have figured this out sooner, but the Zandeskan pictographs on the wall were telling a story about these people who escaped through a solid wall from an earthquake. So I figured there must be a secret passage and was able to find the right spot on the wall to press to activate it."

"Thank god for Zandeskans narrating their mythologies on cave walls," decided Scorpio with a smirk.

"I'll drink to that," grinned Gemini and they clinked their mugs. "So I did actually escape the Incredibly Dangerous And Fatal Cave of Death And No Return with the lost Zandeskan idol of wealth." She pulled it out of her backpack. "Ta dah!"

"Why do you have a golden ice cream cone?" asked Capricorn, walking into the room, and picking it up.  "Did you win a contest?"

"Careful Cappy, that's a priceless Zandeskan artifact," cautioned Gemini.

"You've been eating too many pies," snorted Capricorn, pulling some bread out of the cabinet.

*

"He's there," confirmed Sagittarius, peering through the periscope. "And he's eating his mentos."

"Excellent," grinned Virgo, adjusting the scope on her super soaker. "I've been practcing with this baby in the backyard for three hours. I can't miss."

"I dunno, does coca cola fly different than water?" frowned Sagittairus, looking at the ingrediants on the bottle.

"If so I'll have time to adjust," assured Virgo, peering through the scope and targeting Aquarius's box of mentos.

Sagittarius poured the bottles of coke into the bucket. "Okay. Fill it up when you're ready."

Virgo stuck the nozzel of her super soaker in the bucket and drew in. Immdeiately, the super soaker EXPLODED in her face (and Sagittarius's face too).

"WhaT THE F-" started Virgo, jumping up, before it exploded in her face again.

"HAHAH!" screamed Aquarius jumping up from the tire swing, chucking a mentos up to the roof. He missed, of course.

"Dude!" laughed Sagittarius, squeezing coke out of his shirt, and peering into the super soaker. "Aquarius filled your super soaker with mentos!"

"Of course he did," grumbled Virgo. "I bet Capricorn—WE'LL SEE WHO'S LAUGHING TOMORROW—told him what I was doing."

"Probably," shrugged Sagittarius.

"YOU JUST GOT SERVVVV-ack!"

He broke off as Virgo dumped the rest of the coca cola bucket on him from the house. "We're going in. I've got some revenge to plan."

"Don't we always," chuckled Sagittarius, and followed her into the house.

Chapter one is done!  Anyone have thoughts about what next chapters should be about?  Also, big thanks for reading!