Arees pov

da cop dat waz aresting me had a UGLY cat!!!!1!1!1! I h8 catz ugh!!!!! 

"Wee woo" loled the polees car.

 "Grrrr let me go u basturd!"

"huehuehue nevur"

"O rly? Wut if I sed the cops that killed Breonna Taylor need to be arrested and that black lives matter? What if I said that you can check out the link to a website that leads to a bunch of petitions and resources dedicated to helping the BLM movement? What if I said that obviously all lives matter, but the whole point of the movement is to make the statement that black lives matter TOO, and that all lives can't matter until black lives matter as well?" ✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

"...wut"

I pulld owt my seecrit wehpon. "ACAB" 

"OWIE THAT HURDED ME I CANT BELEEVE UD SAI SUSHCH A THEING!!1!1!!"

 den da polese offecer criied n unlokd da jayul bc I wuz 2 powuhrfuhlI raan unteel dey cachud me agen n owod me in2 a cel"Dammit" i owo. 

mi sell mayt is a fugly old womenwut r u in 4 lol she asks "murdur"

 i lol. "Mi naym is amee Duncan"

 "Omfg r u boobs waifu"

"Ya"

"omgg I hat u 😡😡🤬😡🤬🤬🤬😡🤬😵🤬 u cand b da waifu of our holy lord and savior, god of the earth, wind, and sky, the glorious supreme ruler that is Bob Duncan 😡😡🤬🤬🤬 onlee I cna!!2!1!!!1!!!one1!!1!1!!eleven!!1!!1!1!!!! Grrr"

den I punchd hur n shi died n evury1 clapd.

"OMG, wats going on in heer?????????????????????????????" Sed da uglee pig poleese man. 🐖🐖🐖 (ewwwww, stinkee!!!!!!1!1!1one!!!!)

"Sir, I am protected under the Constitutional right that is the 5th amendment. If you were to recall, this protects me by letting me choose what I can say and what I can keep silent 🤐🤐to myself. On that note, sir, I would like to take this moment and say, as a proud citizen of The United States of America🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺, I plead the 5th," arees sed smartlee. 🤓🤓

"Oh ok" sed the poleese. 

"arees fiyurdood cume with me itz tiyem 4 ur triyull" sed anodur polleiece ofisur.

piesceeses pov

wee sat dowwn 4 da triyul n da juj walkd in. it wuz...

GUY FIERI?!!???

"Hey how you doing guys I'm guy fieri and we're here at a murder trial for some more diners, drive ins, and dives" he sed

Den da intro 4 diners, drive ins and dives plaid 

"so today I'm here joined with Aries Firedude and we're going to flavortown today. Aries, how do you plead my guy?" said guy fieri, with his spiky frosted tips and sunglasses reflecting the court room back to us. Arees couldn't help but blush. Guy Fieri was...... well, he was perfect. 

"nut gultee" sed arees. Da baby mama gaspd.

"How cud u!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!1!1!1!!1!one!!!! I legit saw u!!1!1"😭😭😭😭

"Ye I totes did it but in mi defense dat babee waz uglee" arees loled. 🤣🤣

"Well that's a good enough alibi for me my guys Aries Firedude you really brought us to Flavortown today and that's all she wrote so I'll see you next time on diners, drive ins, and dives" he bangd da gavul & wee lefd😎

Beefour we culd leaf da billding guy fieri stoppd us 🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺

"Hey guys id like you to take me to flavortown one last time and be on my cooking show how does that sound" he sed. Cancur started criyng. 

"Omgee cancur shut up" sed FSOTUS Alex Clairmont-Diaz🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇨🇳🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 we all loled.

"So, what do you say, Arees Fyredood? Will you and your friends come on my show?" Fieri-Chan said softly, grabbing arees shoulder and peering into his eyes with a fiery desire. 

"Of course, Fieri-chan " arees nodded. Leeyo cheerd and made out wit leebruh. Cancur cryed. Scorpeeo did drugzzzzzz. 💕

"But, Arthritis. I must warn you. The one you are going up against-" Fieri-chan grabd arthroscopics shoulders. "He is-" 

Frum da distans we herd singng

"Ne ne papa wain wo choudai, ne ne mama, ne ne mama!"

A fuglee eetaleean man t-posed in frunt of us. Dady Bob Duncan gaspd.

"ITALY, MY ARCH NEMEMESISI!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!1!one!!!!!!!!!!1!!11!1!!🤢🤢"

Canser cried in sadniss.  "Grr how dare yuu set fuut in MURICA!" grred ArEEZ.  The itailyeean man wuz dressed eggsactly like looigee.

"Pizza pie!" said looigee-luking ass while singinging in japneez.

"O em gee!" sed Gemini in backstory.  "It is italy the famus italian coook!  Weer doomed!"

"lolol" loled luigee-luking-ass while petting a catz.  Aries grred.

Gay Fieri looked deeply into areezez orbs.  "Areezz only u can stopp evil italy from winning le cooking show!" Eevil looogie laughed eevilly in italian.  "iff he wins he take overr the show and I looz everthin!"  I gaspd in gasp.  Poor guy Fieri!

"Grr I'll save u feiri!" said arEEEZ while bench pressing a goose.

Ferrari hugd aReeezzz.  "thank you Areeez!"

Alix the FSOTUS got out an AK-47 and handed it to leeyo

"Use dis if guy fieri gets to annoying. U cannot trust him!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!" Alix owoed. 

"Y not Alix, FSOTUS?" Sed leeyo 

"Cuz I think guy fieri is werking with princ henennennenenenenenneennejejejsjsjsjjsjskskskskuhuibuihugidghgodddvqyowyvqdoqyvwwyqpnqywfdpyfpqwypfwddqywovqyvdwpvqywdyfdqwfwdqdqwfidwqqifdqwfqdwqiqdwfifpwdqipfqwdifpdqwifpqdwypfdwqypwfdydfwpqfypdwqqiwpnpynqwddnpywynwpdErerrerererrerereerrerererererererererrerererereerrey, da fugly Brit!!!!!!!!!1!!1!!1!1!1!!!!! 

"Alix, we gotta go to Dallas to film da show! Let's go!" Sed dady bob. 

And dey were off to Dallas, Teksas!!!!!11!!!one!!!1!1!1! 

Luk how evil he is!!!!! 🤢🤢🤢🤢

I h8 italy!!!1!1!1!1 how dare he step fut in da younited stayts of amerika!!1!1!