Aries: one two three I declare a war on *flips coin* ENGLAND

Taurus: and uh, to celebrate um, the third day this week without rain , WE SHALL FEAST

Gemini: tell the King of Spain to f*ck with me because I don't care about his trading policy

Cancer: have a town meeting.mi want to hold every newborn baby.

Leo: let's dedicate an entire month to my birthday and get turnt every night. Feast for everyone even peasants!

Virgo: shh leave me alone I am planning my next war

Libra: I'd like to meet all the other monarchies and I need a new dress and let's have a ball tonight!

Scorpio: everyone in the kingdom wants 2 kill me or f*ck me #tru

Sagittarius: National Get Shit Faced Day, and I rite??

Capricorn: PUBLIC EXECUTIONS MOTHER FUCKERS (so me)

Aquarius: name all the planets in the solar system after me now!

Pieces: I don't want to go to war can everyone be happy look how many kittens there are in my palace!

(I'm back guys!)