Aries: probably using the internet

Taurus: probably using an electrical device

Gemini: probably has a tumblr account

Cancer: probably alive or something

Leo: possibly breathing

Virgo: probably likes something more than they should

Libra: has opinions

Scorpio: probably eats?

Sagittarius: probably has a problem with bugs

Capricorn: is actually corn (wtf)

Aquarius: is actually water (also wtf)

Pisces: probably (....probably what?)

Some of these are....interesting facts...