Pisces was sick of sitting in his hospital bed doing nothing, so he decided to text the others.

Pisces: Hi guys! Anyone wanna chat?

Aries: Why are your texts so blurry?

Leo: Aries put on your glasses

Aries: No I don't need them

Leo:  yes you do

Aries: no! My vision is 20/20

Leo: Aries just put on the damn glasses

Aries: Hey look! My phone just made everything less blurry

Leo: 🤦‍♂️

Gemini: Hey cool kids! I'm joining the party!

Pisces: But it's not a party

Gemini: It is now!

Pisces: Where's everyone else

Virgo: Sagittarius is probably still cuddling Cancer's possible dead corpse

Pisces: 😨

Gemini: 😨

Leo: 😨

Aries: 😨

Sagittarius: VIRGO YOUR DEAD! SHE'S NOT DEAD SHES SLEEPING IMMA KILL YOU UOU LITTLE SHIT HOW DARE YIU YOUR SO RUDE AND THAT WAS UNNESSESARY DIGHT ME

Virgo: You're* she's* I'm going to* you* you* you're* unnecessary* fight*

Aquarius: *sits back and eats popcorn*

Taurus: Do Sag and Virgo hate each other?

Aquarius: No. Virgo hates you

Taurus: why? 😰

Aquarius: I don't know. You guys always fight and argue over me

Taurus: Oh

Virgo: HELP! I'M BEING ATTACKED BY A WILD ANIMAL!

Sagittarius: Cancer isn't dead! Don't call her a corpse again!

Virgo: Oww! Not the nipples! Scorpy likes the nipples!

Scorpio: ...

Scorpio: Twist harder Sag

Virgo: NOOOOOOOO

Gemini: Yo, where's everyone else?

Leo: Sleeping?

Aquarius: Hey Taurus, any new memories?

Taurus: Nope. WAIT! We have a cat named Calypso!

Scorpio: That's right! Calypso! ❤️

Sagittarius: anyone else wanna fight?

Scorpio: Virgo don't provoke him again. You were screaming in my ear the whole time

Virgo: Fine I'll provoke you instead. You're looking hot today Scorpy!

Scorpio: Sagittarius?

Sagittarius: Do you need to get beat up again?

Dead Gurl 69: Hey guys. I just woke up. What happened?

Sagittarius: WHO THE FUCK CHANGED HER CONTACT NAME TO DEAD GURL 69? I SWEAR WHEN I FIND OUT WHO DID IT I'LL KICK YOU SO HARD YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN! I'LL RIP OF YOUR HEAD AND ILL...

Dead Gurl 69: But I'm not dead

Pisces: Cancer! You're awake!

Gemini: Yay! We've been waiting for you to wake up! 😁

Dead Gurl 69: How is everyone doing? Taurus?

Taurus: Huh? Why is she asking me?

Aquarius: You were best friends

Taurus: But I don't remember any of that 😓

Dead Gurl 69: Why is Sagittarius swearing so much?

Sagittarius: FESS UP! WHO MESSED WITH MY ugly bearded lady'S CONTACT NAME?

Sagittarius: WHO THE FUCK MADE "GIRLFRIEND" autocorrect to "Ugly bearded lady" I WILL HURT YOU!

Scorpio: Why did Aqua collapse on the floor laughing his head off?

Sagittarius: DID YOU DO THAT my lovely boyfriend?

Sagittarius: AHHHHHH A Q U A R I U S! WHAT ELSE DID YOU CHANGE IN MY AUTOCORRECT?

Aquarius: "Virgo" and "Libra" autocorrects to "my beautiful husband whom I love dearly"

Sagittarius: THAT'S IT! I'M COMING AFTER YIU! NEVER CALL piece of shit A DEAD GIRL EVER AGAON

Virgo: You* again* ouch, calling your girlfriend a piece of shit

Dead Gurl 69: Saggi that's mean! Calling me names after I just woke up 😡

Aquarius: AHHH HELP HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!

Sagittarius: STIP RUNNING YOU amazing person 😘

Sagittarius: A S S H O L E*

Virgo: Stop*

Capricorn: I just woke up. Why did Aquarius sprint out the door with Sagittarius threatening to kill him?

Leo: Scroll up

Capricorn: I'm going to guess Aqua was being Aqua 🙄

Dead Gurl 69: Hey, Libra still didn't text yet

Handsome Sexy Monkey 😍: I'm unworthy to talk to you guys after what I did

Aries: Pffffffft. Look at your contact name

Handsome Sexy Monkey 😍: what?

Scorpio: Aquarius changed your contact name to Handsome Sexy Monkey 😍

Handsome Sexy Monkey 😍: 🙄

Taurus: why would he do that?

Pisces: Taurus, your boyfriend is very, very weird. Okay?

Taurus: Why am I dating him then?

Gemini: Because he loves you and he's really sweet to you. And you make him go quiet and he makes you go confident and crazy

Taurus: Aww 😍

Capricorn: Does Sag have anger issues now?

Dead Gurl 69: Nah. He's always angry

Sagittarius: STKP TALKING AHIT ABOUT ME

Virgo: stop* shit* ouch, your texts are painful to read

Sagittarius: SHIT UP VIRGI

Virgo: Shut* Virgo*

Handsome Sexy Monkey 😍: why is Aquarius's husband correcting Sagittarius?

Handsome Sexy Monkey 😍: I meant Aquarius's husband*

Handsome Sexy Monkey 😍: Aquarius's husband*

Handsome Sexy Monkey 😍: V I R G O is Aquarius' husband

Handsome Sexy Monkey 😍: I give up

Virgo: Aww I didn't know you felt that way Aqua

Taurus: Wtf

Taurus: WTF

Taurus: Someone please tell me what's happening? Is everyone on drugs?

Virgo: Yes 👍

Pisces: I believe yesterday Virgo said "I do not act like I'm high"

Virgo: Because I don't

Scorpio: PFFFFFFFFFFT 😂😂😂

Virgo: Maybe a little

Capricorn: maybe a LOT

Aries: The texts went blurry again

Leo: Aries stop taking your glasses off

Aries: But they're annoying and useless

Leo: Then deal with blurry texts

Aries: But it's not my fault my phone is acting up!

Leo: Someone tell Aries that she needs glasses

Capricorn: Aries you need glasses

Aries: Really?

Leo: 🤦🏼‍♂️

Aries: Okay Wifey ❤️

Taurus: Aries and Capricorn are married? Aww I can't believe I forgot that! Congrats guys! ❤️❤️❤️

Aries: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂

Capricorn: No. I'm dating Libra

Leo: No you're not

Capricorn: Leo shut up

Pisces: Hey Taurus, did you know that you and Aqua have a kid together?

Taurus: WHAT?

Gemini: Yeah. You named your daughter after me ❤️

Dead Gurl 69: I don't remember that

Gemini: SHHHHHHHHH

Taurus: Wait, we do? How could I forget my own child?

Pisces: I don't know. But she died in a car crash

Taurus: WHAT?

Capricorn: Guys that's mean. Don't take advantage of Taurus. They're lying

Taurus: How dare you guys!

Gemini: Hey Pisces, wanna get out of here before everyone gets mad at us?

Pisces: There's a vending machine next to the kitchen. Let's go!

Aquarius: I am a shit head who is very sorry about my actions. The lovely Cancer is not a dead girl and I admit that I'm a very, very AWESOM NSNSNDBDBDBDHDB mean person NO STOP NSNNDNDHDBDBD and I regret BSNDNDJDBFB NO I DONT what I did. NSNSNDNNDBD Sagittarius GET OFF MY PHONE I am NSNSNNDBXJDBD sorry

Dead Gurl 69: Saggi give Aqua his phone back

Aquarius: but it is me NO ITS NOT bsnsndhdbdbdhhdbfc na sbdjxnd shut up yes it is NO HDHDBFBBDND DJDNDNDBDNNDND ITS NOT

Aquarius: Guys help ajdnsksjbdbdbdbzhshddbdbdbbd forgive me everyone sjsndndbjwbfdb GO AWAY iansbdndnsbd stop talking to yourself andnfndjfjdnf I'm not yes you are no I'm not ahnsdnndxbnd

Aquarius had been kicked from the chat

Virgo: Now we can talk about him behind his back

Scorpio: And we can do the same with you

Virgo: what

Virgo was kicked from the chat

Handsome Sexy Monkey 😍: Aquarius' husband is walking over here

Handsome Sexy Monkey 😍: Virgin zodiac is trying to take my phone

Handsome Sexy Monkey 😍 has been kicked from the chat

Scorpio: Who's next?

Leo: Virgo go away

Leo quit the chat

Capricorn: I'm going to sleep again. Gemini and Leo, do not keep me up again

Gemini: It's not or fault we can't sleep

Gemini: Pisces what drink do you want?

Gemini: Whoops, meant to say that outloud

Scorpio: It's your fault that you and Leo have dance parties and wake the rest of us up

Gemini: no it's not

Scorpio: Yes it is

Gemini: You can't tell me what to do

Gemini was kicked from the chat

Aries: Wait for it...

Pisces: HOW DARE YOU KICK ME! I AM YOUR FABULOUS QUEEN I AM NOT SOME PEASANT TO BE KICKED FROM GROUP CHATS

Pisces: That was Gemini btw

Gemini was added to the chat

Gemini: You thought you could stop me? THINK AGAIN SUCKERS

Gemini was kicked from the chat

Pisces was kicked from the chat

Dead Gurl 69: Everyone's getting kicked...

Dead Gurl 69: But Pisces didn't do anything

Scorpio: But she'll use his phone to add her back

Taurus: Is this what we're always like?

Aries: Yes

Capricorn: Yes

Scorpio: Yes

Dead Gurl 69: Yes

Taurus: 😐 uh oh

Capricorn: Guys I'm actually going to sleep now. Goodbye

Everyone decided to be good and let Capricorn sleep.