september 15, 2022

i can't watch things i used to watch when i was younger.

i don't know why,

but it always makes me cry.

sometimes i look in the mirror and wish i was stronger.

i wish i could fly.

i wish i hadn't lied.

i often find myself looking back to when we were closer.

you were mine.

i wish i could turn back the time.

i've found it harder and harder to look forward.

the past is a temptress,

she's wearing her finest dress.

her jewelry on her counter is perfectly ordered.

her tone is relentless.

they all warned against this.

a good three years of my life i've left recorded,

left my closet in a mess,

tried to keep it supressed.

i've made some new, better, caring friends,

not like those others,

disappearing for a summer.

i've been working on tying up loose ends,

for too long i've suffered,

and left it uncovered.

regardless of what they say, i'm not a trend.

i've kept undercover,

that i really loved her.

parents say i'll get over it eventually,

that it's not me,

that one day i'll see.

they think i'm feeling intentionally,

that i can't just be,

and sing in my own key.

they think i think like them, traditionally,

but i disagree

with your referee.

i've been growing,

hoping,

i'll feel better someday.

i know it'll happen sometime.

i've been shaping ,

changing.

i walked the runway.

one day i'll be able to fly.

-slay ig