I
Have got a cat.
And that's enough said about that!

...
......

Well...

OK...

I suppose I should tell
The sad tale of woe,
This story so
Fearful and dire,
Of dread and despair
Of boneshaking fear,
Of my cat,
The vampire!

It appeared at my back door
One warm summer's night.
To be honest it quite
Gave me a fright.
This black ball of fluff
Was quite a surprise,
Even more so when I saw
That it had red eyes!

That's what I said,
Red eyes.
Not green.
It was a little bit scary,
If you know what I mean.

But it was small
It was cute
So I thought I'd be nice.
If I knew then
What I know now,
Well, I would have thought twice!

But...

I didn't.

I picked it up
And brought it in.
I gave it some milk to drink.
And all of the while,
The cat was debating
In which part of my body
Its teeth it could sink!

But it was small.
It was cute.
It looked harmless enough.
It was,
After all,
A simple ball of fluff!

It was a little bit odd,
Or so I thought,
That it wouldn't eat Whiskers,
Just mice it had caught.
And when I cooked dinner
With garlic and herbs,
It hissed and it snarled
As if it was scared.

It slept through the day,
And kept out of the light,
And only really surfaced
In the dead of the night.
And often, when I woke up,
I'd see that it would
Have its mouth and whiskers
Covered in blood!

What else was there...?

Oh, yes.

I woke up once.
It was about 2 o'clock.
I turned over, bleary eyed,
And I got such a shock.
I hoped I was dreaming,
I couldn't believe what I saw,
My little black cat
Was flying down the hall!

That's what I said.

Flying...

I mean, I ask you. Is that normal?

Didn't think so.

Anyway, I went down to Homebase
And bought a hammer and stake.
I hid for hours in the kitchen,
Fighting to stay awake.
But I yawned
And I stretched,
I couldn't take any more.
And before I knew any better,
I'd started to snore!

It was around 6,
In the morning,
When I woke up again.
And the first thing I noticed,
In my neck was a pain.
And over in the corner
My tiny ball of fur
Had a big grin on its face,
And it had started to purr.

So now I don't mind.
I don't make a fuss.
I've rather come to terms
With my little pet puss.
You see,
Since that morning,
Between me and you,
I don't like garlic,
'Cos I'm a vampire too!

"text":2Y