What would you have done if this had happened to you?
Would you:
Panic?
Pray to God, Jehova, Yahweh ...?
Resign yourself to death?
Do something different?

I didn't know why my airways had slammed shut. I had bronchitis at the time. Pulmonary doctors, later, diagnosed me with asthma. Bronchitis had inflamed my airways causing them to narrow. This combined with the emotionality of the phone conversation made my airways close. I'd had my first asthma attack. 

Asthma starting at midlife? I'd never known that could happen. It could. It did. It could happen to anyone. If it happened, it would be unlikely that you'd have a rescue inhaler. Other people have told me they've had their first asthma attack while having bronchitis. Doctors and nurses have told me this is common. So common, I guess, that I'd never heard of it; and it wasn't the first time I'd had bronchitis.

Life changed after one asthma attack. Common colds put me in the hospital.I had to quit a job that I loved. My employers were good people and never mentioned letting me go, but I sensed their frustration. My sense of smell heightened to the level of a drug-sniffing dog. Strong smells like perfume, cologne, candles, cleaning products, rubber tires, small shoe stores...had triggered asthma attacks. Wearing a mask became normal for me, years ago. I've had to wear one on the laundry aisles to buy unscented soap. Even with a mask, I've had to keep a grocery cart behind me in case a strong perfume/cologne smelling person got in line behind me. The worst thing that changed was giving up gardening. All the things I never had sinus allergies to changed. Those plants I loved...triggered asthma attacks. My nose went on high alert, ready to send a warning signal to close my airways.

It was a depressing list that also included: laughing too hard, crying too hard, too much wind, too hot or too cold weather, and higher altitudes. It has been a fine line to walk. Somehow, drinking (with the exception of anything aged in oak barrels) and gambling are fine. I'd rather keep my liver and save my money. But once or twice a year...I take a trip to Key West or a casino and abandon all caution. 

Another thing I never knew about asthma was that the attack could last for days and weeks. The longest attack I've had lasted five weeks. By the third week of steroids, I couldn't sleep and my patience had vanished. Roid Rage was real! If a little flashy convertible threatened to pull out in front of my old farm truck, I'd think, Try it! You will be crying about your car not me. You couldn't hurt Old Silver if you tried. One time at a stop-light, I told a younger woman, who was driving under the speed limit (in the fast lane) that there was a move-over-law-- which there was-- even if the car behind you was speeding-- which I wasn't-- you had to move over to the slow lane. I just wanted to drive the speed limit! She told me her father was a cop and that wasn't true; and I told her to go home and ask him. Never would I have done this (too many people carry guns here) if I hadn't been hopped up on steroids. 

Author's notes:

 *Again, I would like to say this memoir may be copied in its entirety, but must include medical warnings regarding exercise and Kundalini Yoga.*

Not everyone with asthma has had or will have all the symptoms listed above. My case is a little extreme. The most important things to do are find a good doctor and always have a rescue inhaler on hand.

This has been the hardest story I've written, because it is about me. This memoir was a promise I made to myself to share, in case it could help someone. It has an important message. You could save your own life in this same situation.