L A L I S A

"Woah." I panted, my hands placed on my knees to catch my breath. I couldn't believe at the wonderful sight in front of me;

The Amusement Park.

I remember when Jungkook and I used to come here from time to time during town fairs to enjoy the childishness in us.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" He said, eyeing the close gates.

"Yes." I said, admiring him. "But how are we supposed to go in when it's already closed?"

"That's my part of worry. Leave it to me." Saying so he walked downhill to the maintainance room and just a few moments later, magically the gates opened on their own and the whole place lit up with festive lights.

"How did you do that?!" I squealed.

"I have magical powers." He joked as he went in.

"Oh please."

"You aren't gonna come in? If so then-"

"No wait idiot!" I raised my hand before rushing in, behind him.

"Which ride you wanna go first-" he paused midway when I threw a snowball at him.

"So are we really doing this?"

"Yeah, ofcourse! Snow doesn't fall everyday Guk!" I chuckled, before making another.

But before I could possibly land a shot at him, I was already hit by another snowball. Right on the head.

"Headshot!" He exclaimed as he triumphantly laughed.

"Jerk!" I shrieked, before repeatedly throwing smaller mounds of snow at him, as fast as I could. He just chortled at my childishness, while trying to run away from my target.

"Okay, okay you win." He let out an airy laugh as he accepted his defeat. He collapsed onto the ground and lay still as I joined him.

Moving my arms and limbs back and forth on the snow clad ground in sheer enthusiasm; he just turned his body so he was now facing me with his signature bunny-like smile.

"Here, look at this masterpiece." I rolled away as my back against Jungkook's chest.

"Wow, this snow angel just symbolizes that you will never grow up."

"So would you, Jeon."

"I don't think that's possible about me growing up, but one thing's certain that I can grow." He whispered.

"And what is that?" I turned my back to face him, with eyebrows crooked, trying to comprehend what he was saying.

"Feelings."

━

Having taken almost every single ride ㅡ from roller coasters to tilt-a-whirls made my head spin with a terrible headache, a vertigo to be exact. I lost majority of my energy as I slumped down at one of the benches and Jungkook comfortably sat next to me, with zero signs of dizziness.

"Woah..." I exclaimed as I held my heavy head. "That was one hell of a ride."

"Told ya, you'd enjoy it." Jungkook had his legs crossed, swinging them back and forth as he whistled a particular tune.

"How come you aren't exhausted? I remember, you would throw up every time we rode the roller coaster and lose all your motivation to ride anymore."

"I have my secrets." He replied, pursing his lips back into a thin line.

"You seem like an entirely different entity, Jeon." I blinked my eyes wide, my lips curved into a pop, in an attempt to exaggerate my words to which he laughed.

"Come on, your favourite is still waiting for you." Jungkook gushed, getting up from his seat. Behind where he stood, a few steps away ㅡ stood the giant ferris wheel, brightly lit up attracting us like a magnet.

"What are you waiting for, silly? Let's go!" I jolted up and swiftly pulled Jungkook by his hoodie, leading him to the place.

━

"Its so nice up here, isn't it?" I let out a soft purr, my head resting over Jungkook's shoulder as we admired the beautiful lights spread across the small town.

The chilly breeze made me snuggle onto Jungkook a little more, to which he didn't object. Soon enough, as the giant wheel escalated and made slow rotations, my eyes felt heavy as my vision slowly started to turn hazy.

I didn't realize when I feel asleep; but I was sure of that one thing I heard Jungkook whisper to himself, before drifting off to sleep.

"I wish I should've told you everything earlier. I wish none of that would've happened that unfortunate evening. Maybe then, I would've had the chance to win your heart. Maybe then, I wouldn't have attached myself so long that it pains me to leave."

━

"Lisa, it wasn't your fault."

"What are you implying Guk?" I asked as Jungkook walked me home.

"I just want to tell you that never blame yourself for something you didn't have control over."

"But why are you suddenly-" I tried to intervene but he seemed to continue ahead.

"You're just too precious for the world Lisa. You see good in everyone, but you don't realize how bad the world can be. Promise me you will never live with regrets."

"I....okay."

"No, repeat it."

"You're too much." I gave him a frown before I continued. "I promise."

"Good, I hope you will remember it."

"Will you ever come back? Not even a single visit?" I asked with a hope, but he denied.

"If destiny has it, maybe we will meet. But for now, we're here."

I looked confusedly at him, before I noticed that we were standing in front of my doorstep. The time in my watch read 5am, soon it was time for the sun to rise.

"You wouldn't come inside?" I offered, but he shook his head sideways.

"Just leave my regards to auntie, it's getting late for me too."

"Okay." Instead of going in, I just awkwardly stood there, eyes fixed on the ground. He didn't move either.

"Why aren't you going inside, Lisa? Its freezing, get in."

"And what about you?"

"I wouldn't leave until you go inside." He had plastered a very bitter smile on his face. As if he never wanted this moment to end, just like I did.

"Goodbye Jungkook."

"Goodbye Lisa."

I turned my back and just took a step ahead, but a terrible pain surged within me. My heart sank with the idea that he would now walk away. I wanted to hold his hand, make him stay. I knew, I wouldn't regret this.

And so, I turned to face Jungkook again and encircled my arms around his neck ㅡ standing on my toes, I pressed my lips to lips.

The kiss lasted for only a few seconds, although it felt like forever. But when we parted apart, I saw Jungkook. He was slowly fading away.

"W-what is happening?" I asked, shocked.

"Its my cue to go, Lisa."

"What-" I couldn't continue ahead as my vision blacked out and I lost all of my consciousness.

━

The sun's rays directly hit my face as I slowly got up with a terrible headache. On straining my eyes to get a clear view of my surroundings, I found myself in my room.

I contemplated the events of the past night; did they really happen or was it all just a dream?

I was wearing the same clothes I did wear the time I went to see Guk. But if so, why was I unconscious?

Just then, the door swung open and my two cousins barged in.

"Finally, you're up. Planning to get out of the bed or spending the new year's day laying down?" Sorn teased as she pulled off the blanket.

"Huh? Today's new year's day?"

"Oh my god, what happened to you Lisa? Yes ofcourse it is! Isn't this quite the reason we're wearing traditional outfits? Come on, get out now." Minnie exclaimed.

"Ah, okay. I'll get down in sometime."

━

I was still wondering about the night with Jungkook, yet I couldn't comprehend a single thing despite failed attempts. Finally, I walked towards his old garage and found the carton he had separately stored in one of the shelves.

"Okay, let's see what we have here." I rummaged through many cassettes with different names written on them with a faded black marker, until I finally landed on one.

Still With You, it read.

I rolled the cassette in the player and soon, a melodic dulcet started to play. The sound of the guitar against the soft pattering of the rain drops was an eternal bliss. I had known, Jungkook had composed this song himself.

As I let myself drown into the music, a slideshow of nostalgia flowed in, remembering the moments I had spent with Guk.

From the day we first met at the library, to the fun we had, to the day we parted away.

"Lisa? What are you doing here?" I heard someone standing behind me at a distance and turning my head, I realized it was Jungkook's mother, aunt Sohyee.

"Oh, happy new year auntie!" I respectfully greeted her by bowing my head down to which she nodded.

"I just came here to uh...this." I moved aside, as she smiled looking at the scattered tapes.

"You must miss him, right? He had saved all of these tapes. He was thinking of gifting them on your birthday." She bitterly smiled.

And that's when something struck my mind: that idiot didn't even give me his number.

"Auntie, do you perhaps have Jungkook's number saved in your phone? He said he was going away, but he forgot to inform me about the new one. His old one isn't reachable either."

What I saw was a look of horror spat all over her face. She couldn't understand what I was saying, she stood still in shock as her lips quivered.

"Uhm...auntie?"

"W-what are you saying dear?"

"About Jungkook?"

She just kept mum at my response. But her silence said the volumes. Just the moment that followed, aunt Sohyee sobbed.

"Dear, I think we should talk inside."

━

As I settled on the chair opposite to aunt Sohyee and my mum, I observed the emptiness in their eyes. Eyes that no longer shone with the joy and excitement they usually had, they were acting quite the opposite of what their bubbly personalities embodied everyday.

Aunt Sohyee held me hand and gave it a gentle caress. Her warm smile resembled Jungkook's. It only made me miss him even more.

The two mothers looked at each other with guilt.

"Lisa-yah, we've been hiding something from you." My mom was the first to start.

"Is it about Jungkook? Yes I know he left, he said to me that he was leaving somewhere, very far off."

"Wait....have you met him after your accident?" It was aunt Sohyee.

"Yeah....I used to take midnight walks with him along the bridge. I must say he did act a little differently than usual, because he would always insist to meet him at 12am in the midnight."

"I lied to you, Lisa. About your accident. I-I'm sorry." My mother spoke in a grave tone, as she bit her lip and tears streamed down her cheeks.

"What are you talking about? I don't understand a word-"

"Jungkook..." Aunt Sohyee broke down.

"Jungkook is dead, Lalisa."