luke held the phone to his ear, the dial tone ringing incessantly through the speaker.

his thoughts completely halted as he refused to accept that she had left yet again. his heart felt like it'd been stripped of all of its innards, leaving only a shell of what used to keep him alive.

air. he needed air. how he deduced that in the midst of his numbness, he couldn't understand. all he knew was that a sudden weight had appeared out of nowhere and was pushing all the oxygen out of his body. 

so he began to move, eyes fixated on nothing as his body switched into autopilot.

did he just hear ashton calling out for him?

why would noelle do this?

were his legs really moving that fast?

did she ever actually love him?

god, why was it so cold outside?

ignoring the feel of sharp and crisp air attacking his nose, luke began walking down the block without any sense of direction. maybe if he ran fast enough, his problems wouldn't be able to catch up.

a short, bitter laugh escaped his mouth as he thought to himself. of course his problems would never leave him alone. since when did they ever?

up ahead, luke caught the brown eyes of none other than calum hood himself and he mentally cursed his luck. he hadn't spoken or made any sort of contact with the guy since he'd gotten to brooklyn and he intended to keep it that way.

especially since calum knew about-

"hey, luke."

the low sound of the vaguely familiar voice forced him to stop - luckily - just before he could bump into him. luke blinked to clear the cloudiness in his eyes and sent calum a forced smile.

"calum," the blonde greeted without emotion. "how've you been?"

the other boy rubbed the back of his neck, "look, you can cut the crap. i don't know if noelle told you about what i said, but-"

"she did," luke cut in harshly, throat constricting at the mention of her name. "she told me everything."

"you do know that i meant it, right?" his voice was scarily sincere and luke could only nod dumbly. "i get  it if you don't forgive me, i mean i was kind of an ass."

"kind of?" the taller one of the pair repeated mockingly, eyebrow raised.

a roll of brown eyes. "okay, okay fine. i was extremely kind of an ass."

luke was surprised that calum was still making an effort to fix things with him. he didn't mind it, not really, it was just weird to get such nice words out of a boy who tormented him since he was 15.

"it's all good, calum," he told him after a moment. "the past is the past and you're obviously not the same guy you were before."

"thanks, man," calum patted his arm warmly before moving on. "speaking of, how's noelle? are you guys still together?"

a pair of blue eyes hardened to the point of ice at his words. it took all he could muster not to put venom into his words, but he wasn't entirely sure he succeeded.

"no, we're not."

"oh, shit dude," his ex-enemy stumbled for words, eyes wide. "i'm sorry; i-i didn't realize-"

"it's whatever," luke half-heartedly waved his hand to dismiss the subject. "i just don't want to talk about it."

the two fell into a slightly tense silence, one feeling like he was hopped up on novocaine - left cold and empty - while the other bore heavy amounts of guilt. 

"are you okay, luke?" calum asked as cautiously as possible.

"fine," came his short reply.

"i mean, really. are you okay?"

luke met his serious expression and shook his head slowly, knowing he couldn't keep up the act forever.

"no," he choked out. "no i'm not."

/five months later.../

"no i'm not!" luke argued, laughing lightly as marie rolled her eyes, crossing her legs under her on the couch.

"you are," she insisted, voice growing more teasing by the syllable. "you're angry because ashton got a higher score than you on fifa."

a groan emitted from the blonde boy. "why would i care? i don't even like fifa."

"you love fifa," the girl deadpanned, waving the game itself in front of his face.

"and i hate you, so please put down my game," he snatched it out of her hand and tossed it back onto the coffee table.

"that's also a lie. you love me," marie sassed, causing luke's smile to falter slightly.

the past five months had been healthy for luke. he recuperated well with the help of ashton, calum, and - surprisingly - marie. they listened to him through countless tearful nights and helped get his mind off of things.

but not entirely.

noelle was in every crevice of his mind, stuck like crazy glue had attached her there. it didn't especially help that a few weeks prior, she had called him and they finally got some type of closure.

that was the moment in which luke realized that he could be feeling completely void of any emotion, but still contain the hugest amount of adoration and love for the girl.

-

luke was woken up at three fifteen a.m., his phone flashing and buzzing like there was no tomorrow. without even glancing at the too bright screen, he pressed 'answer' and held the phone to his ear.

"hello?" he spoke groggily, voice cracking with sleep.

"did i wake you? i'm sorry i just-"

he was fully awake now, except he couldn't hear the rest of her words. he was too surprised that noelle - noelle - of all people was the one on the other side of the line. his heart nearly shot out of his chest in excitement.

she didn't forget about him and that really shouldn't have made him as happy as it did.

"luke?" she broke him out of his thoughts with a simple syllable and it took all of him not to beg her to let the sweet sound of his name roll off her tongue one more time.

"is it really you?" he muttered, sitting up and leaning against his headboard. "you're not mad at me anymore?"

"i never was," she admitted, the sound of her flipping over on her bed present in the background. "you know that i couldn't be mad at you. i miss you."

"why now?" luke questioned.  "it's been almost five months, noelle. why are you calling me now?"

"i was scared," the squeak in her voice made his eyebrows scrunch in concern. "i tore your heart apart and i don't deserve to talk to you ever again, but i just...i was such an idiot. an idiot who is so deeply in love with you that it actually hurts."

"you're not an idiot. in fact, you were right. our relationship wasn't the healthiest and it would've been worse had we stayed together."

"what are you saying?"

"i'm saying that i still love you too. a lot," he breathed out. "but i don't think it's time for us to be together yet."

"yet?" her voice was meant to sound teasing, but failed. "does that mean i still have a change, hemmings?"

"more than a chance, devereaux," luke said lightly. "just come back to me, love. please come back to me."

"i promise. forever and always?"

"and even longer than that."

-

"luke?" a different voice said his name this time, making his daydream slip from his fingers. he blinked once and looked up at marie, pretending as if he hadn't been totally blanked out. "you good?"

"yeah, yeah," he nodded quickly. "don't worry about it. what were you saying?"

she pursed her lips in skepticism before launching back into whatever quirky story she had been telling before. he tried to listen as best as possible, he did, but it was hard to do so.

that was mostly because every time he looked up at the blonde, green-eyed girl in front of him, all he could see were hazel eyes and long auburn hair.

+

i'm not dead and this chapter kinda sucks but idk i'm trying sorry sorry school is a drag

so many ppl have been finding my stories lately and it's making me really really happy i honestly love you all so much xx

QUESTION OF THE DAY: what is your favorite video game? or if you don't play video games, then answer this: what is the earliest thing you can remember about your life? oR ANSWER BOTH. it's your life lol

my favorite video game is probably bioshock infinite or kingdom hearts :-) and my earliest memory is almost falling out of a window when i was 2 bc thanks brother for not watching me